"Doctor, why did you leave your car in a high crime area? Someone's going to try to steal it." Sergeant Benton said as he stood on a roof next to U.N.I.T.'s scientific advisor watching the street below.
"That's the general idea." the Doctor replied. "The best way to test my new anti-theft system is to try it out in the real world."
After about fifteen minutes of waiting during which Benton watched the Doctor play what looked like Solitaire on a handheld alien device which had a picture of an apple on the back of it, a small group of likely looking candidates approached Bessie. As a member of the group entered the car and started fiddling with the ignition, there was a mechanical noise as clamps of some sort extended from either side of the car and settled themselves onto the street. Moments later, arms extended from the underside of the car, and with a metallic clang the clamps were nailed to the road's surface by a pair of sturdy looking spikes.
As the young ruffian who'd been fiddling with the ignition which had failed to start got out of the car to examine this latest development, Bessie's top went up and promptly set itself on fire. Startled, the small knot of teens and twenty-somethings jumped back a pace. The man who was clearly the leader however looked as if he'd been challenged, didn't like it one bit, and was determined to overcome it.
"Right then," the leader said. "Mike, grab a prybar. Rob, go and grab a fire extinguisher."
Whatever other instructions the gang's leader was going to give remained unsaid as a dark haired figure in a black Nehru jacket with silver embroidery on the collar and a high collared black cape pushed past the young men, hopped into the flaming car that was still nailed to the street, turned the ignition over without a hitch, and started driving it away as-is, not caring about the grooves he was tearing into the asphalt as he continued down the road, apparently oblivious to the fact that the car's black canvas top was cheerily burning away like a bonfire.
"Like they said back in the Academy, anyone who doesn't try to take it while it's nailed down and on fire is a pansy." the man called out as he drove away.
"And to think he failed Looting 101." the Doctor said as Bessie disappeared down the street and out of sight.
"What was that?" Benton who was staring at the grooves that had been dug into the pavement as if he were in shock asked.
"Nothing, nothing." the Doctor said.
"Alright." Sergeant Benton said as he got his thoughts in order and chalked the last hour up to the weirdness that always surrounded the Doctor. His mates back at the base would probably get a good laugh out of this incident.
"Between you and me though, the reason Gallifrey is inexplicably wealthy despite our policy of complete non-interference isn't because we earn income that's spendable elsewhere in the universe by mapping out wars throughout the universe's history and profiting from them. We most definitely don't send raiding parties of Academy students to the sacking of cities and sell the loot we gathered on the black market. If anyone tells you otherwise, they're lying." the Doctor said quietly before tapping on the screen of the silver device he'd been playing with, causing a map to appear and a slow moving dot to make its way down one of the streets on the map.