Title: Today, I'm leaving.
Summary: Lovino only wants one thing: go the fuck away. Today, he's twenty one. It's time for him to move on in life, and to let his roommate lives his shit on his own. After all, it's been three year that Lovino hates him from the bottom of his heart ...
Rating: M
Pairing: SpaMano and PruCan + mentions of LietPo, SuFin, USUK, AusHun,
WARNING: Yaoi, language and alcohol.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!
A/N : Hello the world! No, I'm not some 10 years old girl who can't write in English properly! I'm an 18 years old 'woman' who can't write in English properly!
Actually, I'm Belgian, and I wanted to try to write a fanfiction in English ... And since this one was the shortest I had, I wanted to give a try!
Please give me your thoughts on this chapter, even though it the most boring one of the story!
(I'm looking for a Beta Reader, by the way)
Enjoy~!
Today, I'm leaving.
Chapter 1 : Jealousy
Finally, I'm twenty one. A real grown-up, major and all that shit! So why should I keep that stupid douche as my roommate?
This evening! This evening, I'll tell him once and for all. Today, I'm leaving.
I'm called Lovino Vargas, but most of people don't call me.
And there is only one idiot who puts my name in every single one of his conversations. His name is To-... Erg, I mean Antonio! "Tonio" is what his friends call him, and I'm NOT his friend!
I work as a waiter at Pizza Hut. I know, its not glorious, but at least, I can do it!
I wanted to be a chief, you know. But my grandpa has clearly told me that I'm not good enough for that ... Well, he hasn't really told me that, but he implied it by saying how my brother is better than I am ...
My brother ... How much I hate that bastard … Always smiling, always perfect, surrounded by people who tell him how wonderful he is ...
Who am I kidding? I love my brother ... Nobody can hate him anyway ... Everybody wants him, but among all the fuckers he could have chosen, he has to take a German! A fucking potatoes eater!
That idiot …
Anyway. Today it's my birthday, and I'm sure I'm gonna leave that stupid apartment.
I don't even remember why I accepted to live with the douche ... Certainly because of blackmailing or something. My grand-father maybe ... It's true that grandpa Roma has always been for my 'socialization' ... As if I needed that! It's true, damn it! I only have one friend, he's Canadian and never talks, and it's enough for me!
I put the last chair on the table, to help Lilly who's cleaning the floor, and get ready to leave the 'restaurant'. Today we close at eight because it was just a day of Big Cleaning.
Once outside, I take a big breath and take a cigarette out of my pocket. It really is the most incredible invention in the history of humanity! Fuck the inventor of the wheel, the cigarette's is the best!
Just like every other day, I go to the apartment by foot.
So ... How am I going to tell him? I come in and tell him I'm leaving? Kinda mean, I think ...
And so? How does it matter?
Yeah, that's true! How does it matter? It doesn't matter at all, that bastard is getting on my fucking nerves for too long!
But why is he such a pain in the ass?
Isn't it obvious, conscience? He's always following me like a fucking puppy! He keeps telling me how cute or even adorable I look! I'm not a kid, damn it! Why would he call an adult fucking 'cute'? I mean it, for fuck sake! An adult is not cute, an adult is handsome! Just like him!
What?! No! I've certainly not just thought that! It was ... It was ... It was Matthew! Yes, exactly! I often talk to him about the bastard, and the Canadian boy owns his very own way of looking at me like if he knew something I don't … There is that one time when he told me smiling and while raising an eyebrow at me "He's hot, eh?".
Yep, definitely, it is Matthew who finds him hot! And if I answered positively at his question, it was only to prevent him from getting upset! I'm that nice to people!
Well, I don't care since I'm leaving anyway ...
You know you're gonna regret it?
Ha! As if I was gonna regret it! It's not as if I was gonna miss him, that bastard! How could I miss his smiles, or his way to look at me like I was gonna shattered if he let his eyes wandering away from me, or his way of winking at me every time he says something embarrassing, or his kind words when I learnt about the masochist tendencies of my brother ... I'm not gonna miss any of those things!
I arrive in front of the door of the apartment and put the key in it. Since I can't turn it, I suppose that the bastard has once again let his own key on the door, inside of course ... It's as if he was doing it on purpose ... If he doesn't want me to come in, he could just tell me, damn it!
Oh well, I don't give a fuck, I'm leaving anyway ...
I furiously knock on the thin wooden door :
"Oi, bastard! Open the damn door!"
Nobody comes at the door, so I hit it with my fist repeatedly, but nothing happens. Finally, letting a big sigh escape from my lips, I go to the upper floor, where Matthew lives.
I ring the bell, and Gilbert opens the door. Damn it, why does he have to spend all his fucking time with Matthew? My friend is clear when speaks about Gilbert, he says that he doesn't feel anything for him and that he's just a squatter ... I know he means it, because when he told me that, he was blushing and looking at the floor, just like me when I'm with Antonio. That clearly proves that he doesn't feel anything.
"Oi, fuck-face, the bastard don't want to open the door so I come hang out at Matthew's.
He sighs and gives a glance behind him.
"Can't you wait for Tonio to get back?"
"He's already there, he just doesn't open the fucking door!"
"Oh," says Gilbert, "so that what it is ... I saw him come with a girl earlier ... Let him have some fun, I'm pretty sure he hasn't emptied his balls very often since he's living with you ..."
I see all red:
"Shut the fuck up, you asshole!"
"What? Jealous you're not the girl?"
"No, damn it! Let me in, I wanna see Matthew!"
"He's kinda busy ... You interrupt or ... 'lil' buisiness' ..."
He has to be fucking kidding me! It's not possible! Not Mattie! What about his innocence?!
"Hell no! Not another potatoes eater doing someone close to me!"
"If it makes you feel better, he was doing me ... Keses-ouch!"
Take that, you cum eater ! One blow in the nose, and everything's all right!
"Next time, I castrate you, damn it!"
I take this opportunity to enter in the apartment, and go to the corner where Matthew is playing on his Playstation 3. Oh, so that's why he didn't open the door! Nothing to do with their 'lil' buisiness'! Ha! I knew there wasn't anything going on between them!
Matthew would have told me otherwise. He's wearing a headset, and he's yelling at the other player in French ("Dans ta tronche, trou d'balle"). I go in front of the TV, making him yell at me:
"Fuck it, Gil! Move!"
I sigh loudly, it's forbidden to distract Matthew when he's playing Black Ops ...
"Do I look like a fucking albino to you?"
"Oh! L-Lovino, I'm so sorry ... I-I ..."
He stands up and and turns his PS3 off with a trembling hand.
"Y-You're already h-here? I m-mean, why a-are you here?"
Now that Matthew is back to normal, he offers me a glass of orange juice while I explain to him that Antonio has locked me outside. And of course, Gilbert has to put his nose in our conversation ...
"I saw him ... He had his hand in some girl's panties, and he was kissing her senseless against the door while looking for his keys."
I feel something breaks inside of my chest. I'm suddenly very angry and I want to fucking kick some Spanish butt. What the fuck is he doing with a girl? And in OUR apartment!
Well, in HIS apartment, after all, I'm leaving. It's funny ... Now it doesn't feel the same as on my way back ...
Imagining him with another person makes me sick ... I mean, imagining him with a person! 'Cause dah! Another person than who?
Other than you.
Fuck no! Certainly not! I haven't just thought that at all!
Yes you did.
No I didn't.
You know it's true.
Shut the fuck up!
Argh, I really wanna kill somebody!
"Matthew, give me the controller!"
I turn on the device, and throw insults while waiting for the game to load. I enter on the map, and listen closely to Matthew's game-friends. Then, I hear my target: a loud player who yells in Spanish that he's the best ... It may not be Antonio, but it felt so good to shot him in the head ...
"In your face, you douche!"
I wait for him to reappear on the map, and kill him once again. A sadistic smile appears on my face when I kill him for the third time. My glee is soon interrupted by a certain 'TheHeroOfTheSky04.07' ... Wait? Isn't that the Burger Bastard?
I give the controller back to Matthew who's facing a laughing Gilbert. I can already fell the birth of a headache kick the shit out of my skull. As soon as the Tomato Bastard let me in, I get the fuck out and go live with my grandpa again until I find my own apartment. And without a roommate this time!
Nobody can replace the one that you have now, anyway ...
I'm sure I can find someone better! I just don't feel like looking for one ...
"So birdie," says Gilbert to Matthew, "I'm gonna take a shower ... Wanna join me?"
I see Matthew blushes before he throws a pillow from the couch in Gilbert's face.
"Don't forget to clean afterwards, eh?"
"Don't worry Birdie, EH!"
Matthew frowns, and Gilbert leave the room laughing his ass off. When he's gone, I can see that Matthew is smiling softly at the bathroom door.
"What with that smile?" I ask.
He blushes and looks at the floor:
"N-nothing at all! It was nothing!"
I know he's lying ... He's looking at him like my brother looks at that Potato Bastard. Clearly, there's something going on ... Okay, no turning back now!
"Do you like him that much? That douche is dumber than his feet!"
"I ...eh ... I ..."
"No fucking way! Don't tell me you like him!"
"He's really sweet you know ... and, and ... And he's always there for me, and when he smiles it feels so right, a-and ... Lovino, I think I'm in love ..."
No, no, no! Impossible! Feliciano told me exactly the same thing last year. No way in hell!
"No, Matthew, you're not in love with him! I feel the exact same thing around Antonio, and I'm sure as fuck I don't love him!"
He raises an eyebrow at me, clearly, he doubts of what I've just said.
There's nothing to doubt about, damn it! I do not love Antonio! Heck, I don't even like him! We're not even friends! If I liked him, then knowing him would have done something to me, damn it! But I didn't feel anything when I learned the news!
…
Ha, even my conscience shut the hell up about that one!
I gave up ...
"But it's not worth a shot ..." says the Canadian.
Matthew tells me that desperately. I can see his eyes start shining, proving me that he has already cried over that topic.
"Why?"
The question came out on it's own. I'm not even sure I want to know the answer ...
"I'm too scared I would lost what we took years to build ... All those sweets times when he made me laugh, cry, sing, when he took me in his arms to reassure me when Al got his car crash ... If he doesn't share the same feeling for me, all those moments would lose there meaning to me ... I rather imagine that he loves me back than a reality where he considers me as a good friend ..."
"Matthew ..."
"I know it's the same for you Lovino ... I know you're afraid of suffering ... I think it's the reason why we get along so well ... We understand each other, am I right?"
I don't know what to answer, beside that I don't like Antonio, but even that statement doesn't want to cross my lips.
"When Gilbert is having sex with someone, it hurts so much that I want him dead for making me suffer like that ... When he talks about it, I just call him a slut before he agrees and then we both laugh of it ... But inside, I'm broken ... Sometimes he makes me sit on his lap and stroke my hair ... He tells me how much I would make a beautiful girl ... It hurts so much!"
And now he's crying ... I'm not really good with that kind of emotion ... So ... What would Antonio do? I stand up and take him in my arms ... I gently stroke his back while he's pouring down his tears on my shoulder.
Arg ... It so embarrassing ... Nobody must see me like this ... Not even my brother, nor my grand-father!
After several minutes, Matthew thanks me and tells me that I have a pretty voice. A pretty voice? Oh ... I hadn't even noticed that I was singing a Spanish lullaby ... I think that it is Antonio who taught me that ... Stupid me!
Gilbert comes out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist, and notices Matthew with red puffy eyes from too much crying. The albino smiles shyly at him, and Matthew shows him his tongue playfully. Gilbert giggles and goes into Matthew's room for what I guess being putting up some clothes.
"With him," continues Matthew, "I cant stay upset for a very long time ..."
I fold my arms, deep in thoughts ... Matthew's words ringing in my head ... ' I rather imagine a world where he loves me back than a reality where considers me as a good friend' ... That can't be my case ...
Gilbert gets back in the room wearing some black tight pants and a dark purple shirt. I notice that he's quite better dressed up than usual. I then take a look at Matthew, and notice that he is also wearing a casual shirt, a whit one. I guess that they have planned something to do together, and it better not be a date! Even though I doubt that with what Matthew just told me they're going on a date ...
"Birdie, I found this on your bed!"
He pull a gift, in a purple package with a pink ribbon around it, from behind his back.
"Oh!" says Matthew, "I completely forgot about that! Bon anniversaire, Lovino! Happy birthday!
"His birth is not something to celebrate ..." says Gilbert folding his arms.
I don't pay attention to him and take the present, glaring at him. I thank Matthew and open the package. I hope it's not a shitty thing ... The last piece of paper falls on the floor, and I have a good view of ... Singstar ABBA, Greatest Hits ...
Fuck.
"Grazie, Matthew" I tell him faking a smile.
I'm not in the mood to be mean about his choice of present after what he just confessed to me.
"You're welcome," he tells me all miling, "we could let it at your apartment and then go eat something together?"
I growl when I remember the locked door ... I could go eat with Matt ..., however Potato Bastard Number 2 would be there as well ... I don't want to eat in his presence, especially that he will probably eat his fucking gross sausages ...
I don't want to face Antonio right now ... Not when I know he just slept with a girl, not when I know he locked me outside to fully enjoy himself.
"Okay, but I let the game here."
"What? Are you scared to face Tonio?" asks the Albino Bastard
"H-Hell no!"
"Liar! You're scared shitless to face him!"
"Shut your fucking mouth, I could face him at any hour of the day or the night!
"Really?" he says smirking "Then what about tonight at nine?"
"I'll do it!"
"Eh ..." says Matthew, "I don't know if you noticed, but it's two before nine ..."
Shit.
"Of course I knew it!"
I go to the door to hide my blushing face. Gilbert follows after me laughing like the douche he is, and Matthew is looking for his keys. Once the door locked, we go down the stairs, and arrive in front of my future former apartment.
I'm going to take out my key, but I notice that the door is slightly open. That fucker has even forgot to close the door! What a stupid fuck-face ... If I find the tiniest suspect stain on our couch, I'll rip his throat out!
On his couch.
Not our's.
His couch.
I push the door, which opens with a creaking noise, and find myself in the dark of the entrance room. I feel Matthew and Gilbert pushing me inside, and once in, one of them closes the door behind us.
"What the ..."
I don't even have the time to flip the bird at them that the light goes on.
"SURPRISE !" yell voices in front of me.
A/N : Okay, so it took me a day ... I feel so bad for all the mistakes I know I've made ... I don't have a clue how do the tenses work in English ... Past Perfect, Present Perfect, Gilbert Perfect ... That's so hard!
Tell me if you liked it :) I'll try to post chapter two soon, but I don't have that much of time with homework and all ... Stupid life!
I really am looking for a Beta Reader! You may (or not) have noticed my lack of vocabulary ... I kinda need synonyms for "smile" or "speak" ... I also need insults! (I'm really creative in French, but I'm too uncertain to try in English ... If you wanna help me, leave a lil' review :P
And if you didn't like, tell me what I could change :D
The story is over in French, and I had good feedbacks, I hope it'll be the same in that (lame) English of mine :)
Okay, I'm done!
(Oh, and I'm wearing a T-shirt with Prussia on it that I received for my birthday! It has nothing to do with anything, but I just wanna tell you all that Prussia is on me! lol)
Review plz ˆˆ
Translation :
Dans ta tronche, trou d'balle ! (French) = In your face, asshole! (Not literally, because "trou d'balle" literally means "bullet hole" which is in french slang to talk about the anus :P)
Bonne anniversaire, Lovino ! (French) = Happy birthday, Lovino!