Thoughts Of A Friend
Chapter 1-The Day The Doctor Died
Today, was like any other normal day. I came in around 9 a.m. to start my shift. I hadn't gone out the night before because I had gotten some sleep. It helped a bunch. Work was normal as usual. But there was a void, like nothing I had ever felt before. I had come in, and seen a fax coming from the machine. I had ignored it, thinking it was a chart or information on one of the patients. I went on to my normal business. I passed Carter, he smiled, and that put me at ease. Like it always had before. He was heading toward the admit desk. He slowly went toward the fax machine and pulled out the letter. It was from Mark. He had been vacationing in Hawaii while we all were working so I assumed that it was a letter about his trip, and sure enough, it was. As Carter began to read it, I felt a sense of calm come over me, like Mark was there with us. He began reading.... Dear ER gang, So, here I am, out on the beach at 5:30 in the evening. Elizabeth is sitting with me, drinking juice, but I'm all about the Mai Tais. The sun's going down. Rachel is dipping Ella's toes in the ocean, as they head off on a quest for the perfect seashell. And weirdly enough, I find myself thinking, you know what would make this moment complete? Some jogger dropping to the sand short of breath, so I can swoop in with a piece of bamboo to perform a nice, clean intubation, fix the guy up and send him off with a good, simple dispo. Which I guess is my way of saying that I miss you all and that dingy place. Lots of times I thought I should have chosen a different career, or gone into private practice - something easier, less grinding, more lucrative, but since I've been gone, I realize that outside of what I'm doing right now - sitting on this beach with my family - staying at County all those years, doing what we do on a daily basis, was the best choice I ever made. I know what you're thinking, but trust me, it's not so hard to appreciate once it's over. As much as part of me would like to believe that the ER can't go on without me, a smarter part realizes that you're an incredible group of doctors and nurses, who approach every day with such skill, compassion and thoroughness that, when it comes to patient care, I know my absence will hardly be felt. As for friendship and camaraderie - well, that's another matter. In order to leave, I had to go the way I did, but I wouldn't want any of you to think that that meant I didn't value each of you and the years that we worked together. Or that I didn't have things of a more personal nature to say. Most of you, I think, have an idea of what those things might be without me writing them down, but still... Ella is laughing and waving for me, Rachel's found her shell. As soon as he was finished, a paleness came over his face as he flipped through the pages. I was laughing and joking to Haleh about some sort of nut. I wasn't paying too much attention. Boy, was that a big mistake. As Carter read silently to himself...he had a frown on his face. I thought, "what could be wrong?" Then I figured it out....he was reading Elizabeth's letter. As he tried to tell us what was wrong, he choked back tears as he read..."this is from Dr. Corday." I look over smiling as the thought of the joke played in my head. He continued: "Mark died this morning at 6:04 am. The sun was rising. His favorite time of day. I sent this on so that you might know he was thinking of you all and that he appreciated knowing you would remember him well." After hearing the rest of the letter I went completely numb. Everything inside of me shut down completely. Everything. That day, I tried to function, but just couldn't. I kept busy by filling an IV bag with saline in the drug lock up. Keeping busy made it easy to hide my tears. But I knew somehow I'd lose it later. Why did God have to take Mark? He was way too young to die, he was only 38. Elizabeth would have to take care of Ella. She won't even remember Mark. What a great father he was to her. He loved his girls so much, even Rachel, whom he was distant from at times. If only I had known MY father like those girls knew theirs, I would be better off. I lost my dad a long time ago, I never knew him. Somehow, knowing Mark helped fill the void of not having him around. I felt somewhat needed with Mark around. Susan had asked me if I wanted to have drinks along with her, Haleh, Carter, Gallant, and Luka, so I said yes. What was better than getting plastered to wash away the sorrow I felt? To me, I thought that was the best way to do it. After finishing the IV bag, Susan and I headed off to the Lava Lounge on Damon.
Chapter 1-The Day The Doctor Died
Today, was like any other normal day. I came in around 9 a.m. to start my shift. I hadn't gone out the night before because I had gotten some sleep. It helped a bunch. Work was normal as usual. But there was a void, like nothing I had ever felt before. I had come in, and seen a fax coming from the machine. I had ignored it, thinking it was a chart or information on one of the patients. I went on to my normal business. I passed Carter, he smiled, and that put me at ease. Like it always had before. He was heading toward the admit desk. He slowly went toward the fax machine and pulled out the letter. It was from Mark. He had been vacationing in Hawaii while we all were working so I assumed that it was a letter about his trip, and sure enough, it was. As Carter began to read it, I felt a sense of calm come over me, like Mark was there with us. He began reading.... Dear ER gang, So, here I am, out on the beach at 5:30 in the evening. Elizabeth is sitting with me, drinking juice, but I'm all about the Mai Tais. The sun's going down. Rachel is dipping Ella's toes in the ocean, as they head off on a quest for the perfect seashell. And weirdly enough, I find myself thinking, you know what would make this moment complete? Some jogger dropping to the sand short of breath, so I can swoop in with a piece of bamboo to perform a nice, clean intubation, fix the guy up and send him off with a good, simple dispo. Which I guess is my way of saying that I miss you all and that dingy place. Lots of times I thought I should have chosen a different career, or gone into private practice - something easier, less grinding, more lucrative, but since I've been gone, I realize that outside of what I'm doing right now - sitting on this beach with my family - staying at County all those years, doing what we do on a daily basis, was the best choice I ever made. I know what you're thinking, but trust me, it's not so hard to appreciate once it's over. As much as part of me would like to believe that the ER can't go on without me, a smarter part realizes that you're an incredible group of doctors and nurses, who approach every day with such skill, compassion and thoroughness that, when it comes to patient care, I know my absence will hardly be felt. As for friendship and camaraderie - well, that's another matter. In order to leave, I had to go the way I did, but I wouldn't want any of you to think that that meant I didn't value each of you and the years that we worked together. Or that I didn't have things of a more personal nature to say. Most of you, I think, have an idea of what those things might be without me writing them down, but still... Ella is laughing and waving for me, Rachel's found her shell. As soon as he was finished, a paleness came over his face as he flipped through the pages. I was laughing and joking to Haleh about some sort of nut. I wasn't paying too much attention. Boy, was that a big mistake. As Carter read silently to himself...he had a frown on his face. I thought, "what could be wrong?" Then I figured it out....he was reading Elizabeth's letter. As he tried to tell us what was wrong, he choked back tears as he read..."this is from Dr. Corday." I look over smiling as the thought of the joke played in my head. He continued: "Mark died this morning at 6:04 am. The sun was rising. His favorite time of day. I sent this on so that you might know he was thinking of you all and that he appreciated knowing you would remember him well." After hearing the rest of the letter I went completely numb. Everything inside of me shut down completely. Everything. That day, I tried to function, but just couldn't. I kept busy by filling an IV bag with saline in the drug lock up. Keeping busy made it easy to hide my tears. But I knew somehow I'd lose it later. Why did God have to take Mark? He was way too young to die, he was only 38. Elizabeth would have to take care of Ella. She won't even remember Mark. What a great father he was to her. He loved his girls so much, even Rachel, whom he was distant from at times. If only I had known MY father like those girls knew theirs, I would be better off. I lost my dad a long time ago, I never knew him. Somehow, knowing Mark helped fill the void of not having him around. I felt somewhat needed with Mark around. Susan had asked me if I wanted to have drinks along with her, Haleh, Carter, Gallant, and Luka, so I said yes. What was better than getting plastered to wash away the sorrow I felt? To me, I thought that was the best way to do it. After finishing the IV bag, Susan and I headed off to the Lava Lounge on Damon.