Disclaimer: I do not own private, Kate Brian does.
And then it all went black…
I've never felt so sick before, but something about this moment was diferent than any of the other times, i've already lost it all, Billings, my friends, even my grades were going down, so what could i do, i know Sabine had shot me, but i didn't know where, my body was numb my mind was a mess, i was a mess, the only good thing was knowing that maybe just maybe it all will stop now, my stalker, the black marbles, the drugs, it was all going to stop either i die and go to the place where people say everything was going to be ok, or i could survive and live to see all of my friends again, i know Noelle will forgive me, now that she knows the thruth, and everything things would go back to normal, at least for a while..
And that's when i knew it, i've had worst before, i couln't just quit, i've seen how life without the Billings Girls was, twice; i've been through all kind of stuff with Ariana, Thomas, Noelle and Sabine before, finally it was all going to end, for good, i was going to get my life back, people will no longer think that i was some crazy backstabbing slut, i have to live, the only problem, i didn't know how to do it, at least my mind was in perfect order now, i had my priorities, my family,my friends they must all be here..And so i did, i tried to concentrate i tried to listen to what people around me were saying, but nothing but silence, maybe this was it, i was finally going to die, i was going to see Thomas and Cheyenne again, maybe Noelle will start sending e-mails to drive Ariana and Sabine crazy, just how they did to me, Noelle we've been through all this things together, she had even called me her little sister, if she really cared for me the she was always putting it , i would have known that she was going to be here, she of all people would be here, And thats when i felt it, i wasn't dying maybe they were using drugs on me.. again, but in the right way, the morphine was going off and i could feel something, a needle maybe sticking in my arms, i could listen to a beep, i could listen to someone talking, talking to me, i tried to focus, but it was really hard, i couldn't even open my eyes.
"I swear i didn't know what was going on" It was Noelle's voice, speaking to me, something inside of me gave me the strength to try harder, and so i did
"you could have just told me about the clothes, the marbles, the way people were messing with and i would have brought an end to it, at least i would have tried, i mean come on, we're talking about a family of murderers" that Noelle always with the jokes.
"And i know i was mad at you, but it wasn't your fault, none of it was it, you were just a victim in Ariana's and Sabine's plan, the way we were always fighting because of her, i always knew there was something fishy about her, but i never said anything because i knew how important she was for you, and how important you were for me, Reed" She was talking to me, i wanted to cry, Noelle of all people was here, not even my parents, she the only person in the room.
"Reed, since the first moment i saw you back at Bradwell i knew you were Billings Material, i knew we were going to be great friends, you were different from this girls, you were strong, never a quitter, i never wanted anything like this to happen, and i know that i don't want you to die, that's why i'm here, i've been here all week, come on Reed, i know you're strong, come on" I didn't have words to what was happening, i wanted to hug her, to let her know that i was fine, i couldn't believe it, Noelle Lange was crying, because of me.
Noelle's sobs filled the room, "Reed, i know i've said this to you before, but still, i want you to know it, you are like a sister to me, my own little sister, i never thought there would be someone who was as important to me as my family, but yet, here you are, the only problem is that you're in a coma, the doctors don't know if you're going to make it through, the bullet almost hit your lungs, when i asked them what was wrong with you" just when i was beginning to understand what she was saying she started crying all over again.
"They said.." what?? I want to know what they said, Noelle, just please stop crying, i'm going to be fine i know, i just want to know what's wrong with me, am i not going to be able to walk again? Is that why i can't feel my body, i thought it was the morphine, what is it?
"They said.. that.. they've already done everything they could do, but it was as if you didn't want to live anymore, they said that you weren't fighting for your life, you were just waiting for it to end, and i couldn't bare it, i can't afford to lose you Reed, you need to understand, i love you, i'm always going to be there for you" Suddenly the feeling of sickness that i had before was gone, i could see a dim light, i could feel something in my legs, it was a person, it had to be Noelle, i tried to open my eyes, and there she was, her head laying in my bed, she looked like a scared little girl, her eyes were red, i guess she has been crying for a while, and then out of nowhere i saw my right hand moving, i had to comfort her, she was my friend, she needed to know that i was going to be all right, suddenly my hand was touching her hair, her head, and she haven't even realize it, she had stopped crying, I could feel her head moving towards my hand, only to find my open eyes, smiling.
"Hey" I said, my voice sounded awful though
"Reed, I can't believe it" and she just jumped to hug me
"Are you OK? I thought you were never going to wake up, I've been here all week and.."
"I know, I heard what you said to me" suddenly her face changed and I could swear she was angry.
"What?" yes, she was,"you've been listening to what I was saying and you didn't do anything to stop me for breaking down the way I did before"
"It's not like that, Noelle, I'm so sorry, I tried to speak but I couldn't" she cut me off in the middle of the sentence.
"Reed, I'm just kidding, god you Glass licker" we were both smiling now
"I'm glad your fine, and I'm glad you were listening to what I was saying before"
"I'm happy too"I turned around just to find my room filled with flowers balloons and all kinds decorations, I swear I even saw a bottle of champagne, Noelle caught me staring.
"Yes, champagne, it was Kiran's idea, she was saying we should throw a party, to celebrate that it was all finally over, but I didn't know, after the doctors started saying all of this things about how you were not fighting" she went back to her chair, and sat up straight.
"What the hell was that by the way?" she asked me.
"I'm not sure, it's all really confusing, I don't know how to explain it"
"Well, I have time, I've been here all week after all, a lot of people have been asking about you, they all came to visit you"
"Even Josh? And Ivy?"
"Yes, even Josh and Ivy" Noelle said "boy is not over you, I guess you two were made for each other" I smile lit my face, I've never smiled so much In my entire life.
"I also met your brother"
"Scott??"
"Yes, even though you were in coma he kept saying all this things about you " Oh god!
"Wh…What kind of things?"
"Oh nothing, he kept telling me all these stories about you guys when you were little, he made a couple of rude jokes as well, I thought he was a Jerk the first time I heard him talking, but he is a really nice guy, we would get along just fine" I've always known that, Noelle and Scott were like that, special in their own way..
"Kiran and Taylor are here too"
"Are they coming back?
"You mean, to "Eat Me Academy?" ohh yeah, Noelle had been hanging out with Scott
"What?" I said
"I just thought it was funny " she laughed "And no, they're not coming back" My smile instantly vanished and she noticed it.
"Reed don't worry, things are going to be back to normal soon, meanwhile I know a certain someone who is dying to see you, you guys need to catch up, so I'm leaving you alone for a couple of minutes", was it Josh??, please be Josh, I know it was selfish to think about my relationship with Josh right now when my whole family was outside waiting for me, but still a girl could dream.
I heard footsteps approaching , in a couple of seconds I will se him again.
Josh walked in, I lost my breath for a couple of seconds his adorable blond curls looked dark in the dim light of my hospital room, his eyes were red but still he was the only person I wanted to see, I needed to set thing straight.
"Josh I'm" he cut me off
"Reed let me do the talking please, I just wanted to apologize for how I've been acting, I should have know that you weren't capable of doing that, but I just refused to listen to you, I'm so sorry I just couldn't get it out of my mind, Reed I saw you!" I knew it, he wasn't here to come back to me, he just wanted to break up with me properly that we it should have been since that day.
"But then I heard it all, Sabine, the drugs, Cheyenne, she drugged me once, and then she did the same to you and Dash, that day, when I found you, I had walked the way back to apologize but then I couldn't, Reed, Reed" I've never seen him so nervous before, he was trying to tell me something but couldn't find the words.
"What I'm trying to say is, Sabine drugged once and you forgave me, and I think it will only be right if I forgive you too"
"Josh really?, I mean I'm so sorry if I was acting different, I was just so excited about being the president of Billings, and getting you into the legacy, I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted us to be over " I knew I was lying, I did flirt with Dash before the Legacy, but being without Josh woke me up in a way nothing has ever done before.
"That day, at the art cementary it hurted to much to let you go, i thought you had cheated on me, i was so mad at you, but i was dying to tell you this, Reed Brennan I love you too, I love you more than anything in the world, and I'm never leaving you alone, not anymore" and that was it, that was all I needed, my eyes were filled with tears, as soon as he saw this he smiled back at me.
"Ohh Josh!, I love you too!" and that's when I started crying, no!, I'm a strong person, I can't be whinning all the time the way I was doing it now, but somehow I couldn't help myself.
Josh sat down next to me and took my hand, we were both smiling now. I tried to stand up but it hurt too much, Josh saw it.
"Reed, what are you doing?" Josh said
"I was just trying to stand up so I could hug you silly"
"I'm so glad you're okay" Josh said, his eyes filled with tears, he stood up, for an instant I thought he was going to leave.
"Josh stay!" I nearly shouted.
"What? Reed? I'm just trying to see if there's room for me in your small bed" He came to my bed, moved me to the side slowly and carefully and laid down next me " we cuddle for a long time, and that's when I knew it, everything was going to be more than fine, it was going to be great, Josh hugged me and I fell asleep, in his arms, where I should have been all this time.