Soda stared at the blank piece of paper in front of him.
Should he write back? ….yes…no…?
"Maybe I should flip a coin" he whispered to himself, as he was twirling a pencil in his hand.
"I think you should go for it, man. If she has the nerve to leave you, you have the right to tell her how you feel." Ponyboy said from the door frame.
Soda sighed, " I did. And she left anyways. I would`ve taken care of her, you know. I loved her so much.``
"Tell her." Ponyboy encouraged.
"How?"
"Speak the truth." And with that, Pony left the room.
Soda rocked back and forth on his chair with nerves. He glanced over at the letter Sandy had sent him. And all at once the feelings rushed back: The sudden excitement of wanting to marry her, to the undesirable pain of her leaving him, AND cheating on him. Soda always felt the need to curse at her after the stunt she pulled, but he could never say an ugly word to such a delicate face.
He began the letter with the date and "Dear Sandy", and with that he started to let out the feelings he had kept in for the longest time:
"I remember the way you made love to me, like I was all you`d ever need. Did you change your mind? Well I didn`t change mine. Now here I am trying to make sense of it all. We were best friends, now we don`t even talk. You broke my heart, you ripped my world apart."
He didn`t care if he sounded way too emotional for a guy. Or did he? He had the right to feel those things and had courage to write it. It`s not always the boy who is breaks your heart. He continued:
"I can`t get you out of my head, I still feel you in this bed. Left me all alone, you couldn`t be more gone. From falling apart, to fighting mad, to wanting you back, to not giving a damn – I felt it all. I`ve been to the wall."
He sharpened his pencil…..and continued:
"One day justice will come and find you. And I`ll be right here in your memory to remind you…"
Then he asked the questions he wanted to ask this whole time:
"Didn`t you know how much I loved you? Didn't you know how much I love you, baby? I gave you everything, every part of me. Didn`t you feel it when I touched you? Didn`t I rock you when I loved you, baby? Baby tell me, Didn`t you know how much I loved you?"
He signed it Sodapop Curtis. He put down his pencil and felt good that he at least was able to get his thoughts on paper.
He had no expectations for her writing back.
Later that night, he went to mail the letter. As he handed over that letter to Sandy, he handed over and sent her all the feelings he had for her. Even though he still deeply cared about her, he knew it was time to move on.
He knew that someday when he found that special somebody, she will appreciate him for who he is and for the love he gives her. That special somebody will know how much he loves her.
Thanks for reading!