Plot of story: Allen and Lenalee
Warnings: This story is rated K+, and the only warning is that they may be OOC. Still, just picture their faces in there and all will be solved. :D
This story centers around Allen and Lenalee ONLY.
Disclaimer: -man is not mine and never will be. Ideas are purely from my mind though, in which I take full credit for.
"Remove your mask, for me."
The white-haired lad could only look on at his companion in utter confusion. Just mere moments ago she had chased his "bodyguard" out of the room, killer intent evident in the atmosphere the moment she revealed her presence in his room. And that was, well, totally unlike her. What happened to the demure, caring, kind comrade he had known since ages ago?
"Lenalee, I don't get-"
"I saw it, Link's paperwork. And heard it," she paused, her fist trembling from either anger or sadness he didn't know, "I never wanted to probe into your affairs... But recently... I feel that you're drifting away from us... I just..."
And she trailed off.
Her gaze which previously held his expression in her reflective violet orbs turned away from him, instead focusing on the crumpled bedsheet they sat on. There were no tears streaming down her cheeks- Wait, why should she be crying? There was nothing to cry for... Yeah, nothing.
"Lenalee," the young man spoke up softly, his voice tender, "I'm thankful that you are worried about... me" - like oh god, it felt a little embarrasing to say "worried about me"; egoistical much? - "It's just that... there are several issues that I have to sort out at the moment..." He paused for a moment before continuing, a smile on his face, "I know... I know that I can always count on you to help me."
As a gesture to show how sincere his words were, he reached out for her battle-worn hands. Fingers that were rough from all the life and death battles yet told the experience of the struggles every exorcist took part in to rescue the world from its impending fate. Sadly though, his action of symbolism was all in vain attempt as she consciously shifted her hand away from his human right, her fist clenched firmly.
"But I don't think that way," Lenalee told him. "I don't feel as though you know we exist. Allen, I feel as if... you're withdrawing into yourself again."
Her fist quivered. If only she would look up and their eyes would meet.
"Lenalee..."
That was the only word – name- that sounded appropriate during this moment. Exhaling softly, Allen brought his hand back onto his lap while his eyes gazed off towards the distance, or the window, specifically put. The black silhouette that never left his side, a virtual image, looming behind his living presence. As black as coal with a never calm shade, whirls of darkness constantly churning in its being. The 14th was never a peaceful entity, was he?
"The mask of Mana... that's the reason why you use polite speech all the time isn't it?
"Eh?"
That hit the nail on the head. And that was exactly the reason why she chased Link out of the room in the first place. Thinking back, it was indefiantly hilarious- Link's expression was priceless. Perhaps that "piece of furniture" was still out there, eavesdropping on the conversation within, trying to fish out information that his "prey" would never reveal to him. It was quite comical really, and Allen's failed attempt at suppresing a chuckle was rescued when Lenalee continued her interrogations. It was never good to explode with laughter... especially not so in tense situations.
"Ever since... he died... You've been living your life as 'him', didn't you?"
Bullseye, again.
The young man diverted his attention back to his comrade for a moment, all humour drained out by the seriousness in her tone. How should he reply to this question? What would she think, if he told her the truth? Anyhow, did he even know the answer to the question she raised?
"I..." Allen stopped. It was his turn to look away now; her indigo iris had a piercing look in them. She demanded an answer – Allen knew this much even without her mentioning it.
"Who are you, Allen?"
He gritted his teeth, but not out of anger and irritation. It was simply because of the fact that he could not reply to it. Saying "exorcist" was not a prudent choice plainly because stating the obvious would make him a total idiot.
"I...don't know."
Now he felt officially, and totally, lost. It felt painful, to answer a question by leaving it unanswered.
The moonlight filtering into the room now seemed very unwelcoming.
-
The silence reigned on for who knew how long. The exterior calmness was a complete contrast to the conflict in the depths of Allen's mind. It was ironic how Lenalee could always soothe his raging emotions and also set his mind on fire. It burned like Hell, sweeping through his brain like wildfire, dragging his usually organised thoughts into a torrent of total destruction. If anyone wanted to know how chaos looked like, Allen's mind could be an epitome of that.
The blanket shifted.
"I'm sorry Allen..." Lenalee began, the silence broken. "I shouldn't have came-"
Lenalee froze in her speech, her movement obstructed by the firm cuffs which were his hands.
"You're right," He began, his tone having an unusual casualness in it. White bangs fell over his front, obscuring his face from her. "You. Are. Right."
"About...?" And she stopped trying to leave.
"The frequent times when I stopped using polite speech, that was the first hint which suggested that the mask was slipping. I was slowly losing... my act," Allen paused; he had just confessed his lies to her.
The supposed-General allowed silence to overwhelm them once more, at the same time casting furtive glances at the other to observe her reaction to his... words.
But Lenalee was still composed, which was undoutedly a good sign. Settling herself beside her good friend once more, she was prepared to lend a listening ear. There was nothing to hint at her anger, in fact, it just dawned on the junior that Lenalee may have known all these from the start. How many times had he flashed a smile at her? How many times had all those smiles been genuine? Lenalee was bound to discover that the majority of those comforting lies were fake...even if she said nothing of it.
Breathing out softly, Allen continued on. At least he knew that Lenalee wanted to hear this.
"I felt... comfortable here. This place slowly reminded me of the time before... Mana passed away. And before I could comprehend anything, I had unconsciously reverted back to my former self, thinking that it was alright to just be me."
"I do not have any clue as to whether this... change, was for better, or worse," the young man admitted, and he felt Lenalee's comforting touch, an encouragement, on his left arm. "It's been so long since I first stopped being me... that it felt weird to be me again."
He exhaled deeply. Somehow, he felt soothed. Come to think of it, was this the first time he revealed that much about himself?
"I was telling the truth," it was Lenalee's turn, "that I liked you being less formal. It made me feel like I had progressed to understanding you more as a friend then as acquaintances."
"Wait, let me speak," Lenalee chuckled as Allen was about to raise a question, "Despite the months that you've been here, I never felt like we were truly friends until you became... casual. So Allen... Could you please remove your mask, and talk to us... as yourself?"
Allen contemplated her words in his head.
"I... could, I mean, can," Allen corrected himself as Lenalee looked at him in earnest. "But I may need some help, in trying to find myself," he added in amusement as he scratched the side of his face in slight embarrassment.
"Shall we began then?" Lenalee teased, taking on the feel of a classy therapist. "Well Mr. Walker, how's your progress so far?"
"None," he answered, playing along, as a genuine smile played at his lips.
"Oh, really?" Lenalee faked as she mimed holding a clipboard. Since a clipboard had always been in her disposal in the past few years, the act of holding the nonexistent partner seemed quite real. "Oh, really," she stated in mock surprise.
"We won't proceed anywhere like this, Lenalee," Allen laughed, "Your actions leave me unable to gather my thoughts."
Giving each other a few seconds to calm down, the senior, if he really was younger than her, began the topic in an equally light tone.
"What were you like before you met Mana?" She asked, her gaze turning to him.
"Well," Allen pondered, similar to how examinees would buy time during oral examinations (a/n: not that there was any during their time), "Truth be told, I used to hate clowns."
"Serious?" Her eyes were wide with surprise.
"Yes- yeah," he confirmed. "Or maybe, 'dislike'."
Noting that Lenalee was not bored by his "life story", Allen continued, "I found them really... ridiculous. With all the makeup, exaggerated actions... I found it... moronic, actually."
"Then why...?" Lenalee inquired, her expression puzzled.
"I didn't know when, or why. All I knew was... I felt a connection with Mana the moment I saw him," truth dawned on Allen as he murmured. "I shrugged that feeling away that time, thinking it was just my... loneliness, playing on me."
Timcanpy, who had been perched on one of the lamps, came fluttering towards his master, landing neatly into his lap and folded his wings. He was definitely not going to miss out on the storytelling.
"I only spoke to Mana the day his dog died," Allen proceeded, "And I felt strangely at ease conversing with him." Allen chuckled at the thought as he shared the memory, "Mana did a lot of strange things in trying to cheer me up then."
At that last sentence, Lenalee smiled. It was nice to see him cheerful- genuinely cheerful.
"Go on," Lenalee egged him on.
"Being the kid that I was, and my dislike at that time," Allen added, "I shouted at him. I wasn't annoyed at him... it was just myself feeling different, becoming edgy, I guess... I was a brat." Allen stuck out his tongue at that.
A soft chuckle escaped Lenalee, and she hastily refrained herself by bringing her hands over her lips. She calmed, and Allen went on. She listened with great interest, noting the casualness and informality of his speech. Every now and then Allen would interpret the times he experienced using hand actions, emphasising on what he meant. And she would laugh at it when he finally brought his point across. He was persistent in making sure that she would get it.
And the cycle continued... until that.
"I still feel... lost," Allen confessed. "It was only after Master disappeared... that I realised how much I depended on him..."
Allen did not use the word 'die', but his eyes were still clouded with grief. His hands were clutched tightly together, Timcanpy nuzzling the back of his palm.
"And with the Fourteenth..." Allen mumbled, almost inaudible for Lenalee to hear.
But she did, and she too placed a hand on his.
That insignificant action had levelled his thumping heart, and he was struck with a sense of nostalgia. It gripped him gently, like the time when he was with Mana, or when his Master was beside him. It was not the first time he felt like this here, on this foreign ground. Komui's words when he was in the Ark, revived after the loss of his Innocence had also left a similar impact on him. The party, the first one that welcomed him as a new family member, had also reminded him of home. Everyone was with him, together, in this... Yes... Everyone was family.
"Lenalee," his voice quivered with emotions, "Thank you."
"I really should be the one thanking you instead," Lenalee replied, slipping her hands into his. After a brief pause, she asked, "Would you like me to share mine?"
"If you have the time. Isn't it getting late?"
Both casted a cursory glance at the window, bursting with laugher not long after. There was no use trying to see what time it was from the moon; it had been there even before the whole session had begun. Blame the sky for being pitch black... How does one predict how far the moon, or earth, has moved? Would the moon reflect the minutes which had passed?
"Anyhow, I think it's sensible to head back to your room," Allen suggested as he stood up. "I don't know where Link is, but I doubt he's still out there. I wouldn't mind him coming back later," Allen's face lit up at the prospect of not being watched for a little while more, "But I hope he didn't go to Komui's."
Lenalee released another soft chuckle; how long has it been too, that she laughed this much?
"Even if brother came down here, there's no evidence to suggest that we did anything... not that we did," Lenalee hastily added. "Though some effort would be needed to convince him, all we did was talk afterall."
"True," Allen agreed, but he could not fight back that small tint of red that surfaced. "So, miss?"
"Why thank you, kind sir," Lenalee curtseyed in her uniform as she stepped lightly out of the door Allen had so graciously open for her. He was still a gentleman, afterall. "But I'd still prefer the informal you."
"Do you need me to walk you back to your room?" Allen offered,"It's not far."
"I know it isn't," Lenalee stuck her tongue out momentarily before chortling once more, "It's okay Allen, it's just slightly further down. As you said, it's getting late. Why don't you rest early?"
"As you command," Allen bowed.
"Erm... Allen," Lenalee called him moments prior before his door shut, "Hold on a minute."
"Ye-"
"Thank you so much for sharing all that with me."
Sure he was dazed, but his composure returned not long after - Exorcists do have fast reflexes afterall. Returning her hug, he smiled, "You helped me too."
They stayed like this for a very brief moment, but that second seemed to have being abducted into the future before released back to continue the flow of time. This was only what they could do, at this time. There was still a war going on, afterall.
"Erm... so, have a good rest, Lenalee," Allen reminded, "See you in the morning."
"Umm... yeah! You too," Lenalee smiled, before slowly taking small steps backwards. "See you in the morning."
"Good night."
"Good night."
And his door closed.
Link was nowhere in sight, no one was. Which was a good thing.
She knew, and he knew, and that was all that matters.
Well, well, well. We've come to the end of another story that had been posted for this fandom. XD
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