Bruce more than anything seemed to want for company, and Natasha found that easiest to give. The events of the Hellicarrier still played on her mind, she was ashamed to say, each time she caught sight of Bruce getting too angry or too frustrated. She knew he had a lid on it, but the fact of the matter was the Hulk terrified her. She couldn't kill him, couldn't seduce him, and unless she was packing a hell of a lot of tranquilizers she couldn't get away from the green beast. There was a time, especially when they first started spending time together outside of missions, that she thought Bruce could smell her fear, and she was nervous it would only push him away and isolate him further.
On the contrary he waited for them to pull him in. He was patient, understanding and blessedly quiet about the Other Guy. He'd let Natasha come to him when she was ready, and she couldn't have been more grateful for that. It was only polite that she managed to find some way to reciprocate. If he was anyone else Nat might have slept with him, or at least blown him, and called it good, but that idea was shot the hell when she caught the back end of a conversation between the scientist and Stark. She'd been walking down towards the training room on the floor when her attention was caught by their conversation. She managed to squish herself into a crevice just outside the entrance of the lab to go unseen, the black material of her catsuit helping her blend into the dark of the hallway
"Wait, so you're telling me you haven't had sex in how long?" Tony squawked. Nat could only imagine his eyes were nearly bugging out of his head. Celibacy was a strange concept for the billionaire, no surprises there.
The eye roll was practically audible coming from Bruce. "Since I first became the Hulk. It's just not safe, Tony, and it's not right of me to put anyone else in that position, to put them in that sort of danger."
"But-but, Bruce-."
"Just drop it."
The two friends walked down the hall, the conversation switching with ease to something scientific that sounded more of a jumble to Natasha than English. Her eyes followed the stooped shoulders of the tired scientist, taking him in from the mop of hair on his head to the way he held himself, as though if he relaxed completely for one moment the whole world might shatter. She wondered if he should have been called Atlas for all the weight his shoulders carry, and as she returned to her room she pondered over just what she could give to him to make him happy, and what she could categorize as something he liked.
From then on her mind had been racing, pushing its way through scenario after scenario in an attempt to try and think just what she could give to the man who expected and asked for nothing, yet offered anything and everything. With sex out of the question her options were, admittedly, limited, yet rather than deter her she found the challenge worth it. If she could gain the Hulk's trust out of the situation, too, she would consider herself set for life. She'd seen the way he defended Tony no matter what the danger was, and she wanted that type of security for herself, but more than that she wanted to be comfortable around him. Fear was too dangerous.
She'd settled on a plan one as she brought Bruce his coffee one morning, not too sweet and without cream, and gave him a small smile. He accepted both with wary eyes, though his outward demeanor was thankful. She stuck around long enough to ask a few thoughtful questions about the experiment he was working on, surprised to find out that he was actually going through the process of trying to develop a suppressant for his problem.
"I can be a lot more helpful elsewhere if I can make sure to just keep the Other Guy under wraps for some time. He doesn't react well to moving around."
Neither of them addresses how ironic and unfortunate that is, as Bruce spent most of his life on the run and it certainly would have made his life easier if the big guy could contain his fear of moving around. Maybe that was why Bruce had stayed in the tower for so long, because Nat had anticipated him leaving the moment that Manhattan was taken care of.
Natasha laid her hand gently on his shoulder and squeezed. He froze beneath her palm and she wondered if she'd done anything wrong. Just as suddenly he relaxed, as though nothing had happened between them.
"Thanks Natasha. I know he's intimidating, but he's part of who I am now. Even if I can suppress him he'll never be totally gone."
Natasha nodded her understanding. They all had monsters after all; some of them were just more real than others, and certainly more dangerous. "Bruce," she managed to start after some time. Her voice was quiet, and if it wasn't for the doctor's impeccable hearing he might have missed it. "Could you let the Other Guy out sometime?"
He froze mid scribble, and the pen he was holding clattered to the surface of the counter. His brown eyes were practically question marks that seared into her skin as he surveyed her body posture, mentally analyzed the tone of her voice, and just stared in blank shock. No one had ever asked that, not even Tony, who was about as comfortable with the Hulk as one could get.
"Natasha, you know you don't have to do this. You don't owe me-."
"I know I don't. But I want to, Bruce." Her smile was weak, but her arm on his shoulder wasn't trembling and it felt firm enough. "I need to get over this . . . whatever sort of fear I have about the Hulk. It's debilitating, and I know that you've got it under control. I know you'll keep me safe."
The expression on his face made it all worth it, Natasha thought, as he removed his classes and rubbed his eyes with his hand. She watched him swallow hard and it was a few moments before he pulled himself together to look at her again. This time it was with a smile so wide it made Nat's cheeks hurt.
"You don't know what that means to me, Natasha."
But she did, and the thing was, if she did some soul-searching, she knew she meant it. Bruce was a brilliant scientist, but more than that he was a protector at heart. It only made sense that his alter-ego protected him, and when the Hulk could be steered in the right direction he could even be a protector of the city and those within it. Not to mention she had a hunch that beneath that tough, green exterior, the Hulk was nothing more than a ridiculously oversized teddy bear (albeit one that could crush her without so much as a second thought, but she really didn't want to consider that.) Natasha took his hand in hers and squeezed, her expression reassuring. They made plans for three days in advance, and Nat couldn't deny that even as much as the Hulk terrified her she was looking forward to it. How many people got to say that they were able to have a one-on-one with the Hulk when he wasn't trying to rip her apart? She hoped, at least.
Throughout the next seventy-two hours Bruce asked Natasha at least thirty times if she was sure. He made sure that she knew he wouldn't be offended if she went back on their arrangement, but she each time she shook her head and squeezed his hand. "I want to, Bruce. I owe it to him to give him another chance, and to you."
Each time Bruce's lips would twist into the best smile Natasha had ever seen, and if she was any less trained she might have blushed at the sincerity in his eyes. She wondered if Bruce had ever been asked to change into the Hulk. Somehow she doubted it, and it only strengthened her resolve to see it through.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Doctor," she assured him with a smile of her own the last time he'd double checked with her before pressing her lips to his cheek before heading back to her room. She didn't have to look back to see his hand on his cheek or the smile growing on his face.
When the next day dawned bright, and though Natasha didn't usually set stock in such things she tried to think of it as a good omen. She and Bruce were meeting at one in the training room, long since reinforced so that Bruce could train and work out without having to worry about the Hulk busting through the walls and floor. Thor had been kind enough to test it out, and even Mjolnir had a hard time cracking the wall. Bruce was right on time, as Nat had expected, though he looked as if he hadn't gotten much sleep. He dumped the tranquilizers that she was to inject into his veins if everything didn't go well, though she wasn't quite sure how he expected her to get them into the Hulk if he went into a rampage. Neither of them addressed it, though. She'd gotten away from him before, and if things went sour she would have to find a way to get away from him again. Not that she thought things would go poorly.
"You feeling alright, Bruce?" Nat asked, standing close enough to drop her hand onto his shoulder. He just gave her a tired smile.
"I'm good, Nat. Don't worry about me. You're sure-."
"Bruce, if you ask me that one more time I'll hit you until you Hulk out. I don't want to because I don't want him mad at me right off the bat," she smiled. "But I'll do it."
The laugh made his body rumble, and he pulled away from her with a look of resignation. With sure fingers he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off. After one last look he breathed deep and tried to relax.
The transformation always started with the eyes, brown giving way to green as he started to rapidly grow, expanding into huge muscles and broad shoulders, fingers as thick as Natasha's wrist and a mess of brown black hair atop his head, but his face was what always struck her the most. No matter how much the rest of him changed she could always see Bruce, and she let that comfort and steady her heart as she stepped closer, lips curved into a smile.
"Hey there big guy," she said, keeping her voice as soothing as she could. His bright green eyes looked around, brow furrowed as he searched for trouble. He was never called out when he wasn't needed.
"Hey, it's okay. There's not any danger." Natasha reassured him as her hand found his wrist.
He looked down at her and cocked his head to the side. "Bruce no need help?"
"Nope. I just wanted to say hi, Hulk." Natasha assured him. The words didn't seem to register at first, and the Hulk kept turning from side to side as though imagining an attack would come from somewhere near. When nothing popped out or tried to hurt him he took a seat on the floor, the force of it shaking the room.
"Hi." His deep voice rumbled, green eyes now focused entirely on Natasha. "Spider friend?"
"Yes, Hulk. I'm a friend of yours, and of Bruce's." Nat told him, taking a seat opposite him, blue eyes searching his expression. He seemed to be doing okay, and as it was easier to read Hulk's face than anyone else's she was going to take that as another good sign. "My name is Natasha."
"Natasha friend." The Hulk's lips spread into a wide grin, the first she'd seen since Cap told him to smash all those months ago. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't, in some strange way, adorable. They sat and talked for some time, Natasha asking if Hulk remembered her from the Hellicarrier, and to her surprise he did. She told him she didn't blame him for what happened, and that a lot of bad things were going on at the time. He reached out to pet her on the head as though she were some wild animal he'd decided he could domesticate, grinning. Natasha had to bite her bottom lip hard to keep herself from laughing.
By the time Bruce came back he was exhausted, but Natasha couldn't have been any happier. She filled him in on what she and Hulk talked about, which mostly centered on the big guy's opinions of the others. He got along well with Tony, especially, and Thor he saw as a good friend. The same he said for Natasha, and it put a grin on both of their faces when she told him about how excited Hulk was to get a chance to look around, even if they hadn't left the workout room.
"Maybe next time you'll let me take him for a field trip of the tower?" she teased Bruce.
The scientist stilled in the middle of putting on the shirt he'd removed earlier, glasses askew as he checked and double-checked her expression. "Next time?"
"You can't keep Hulk all to yourself, Bruce. I want to spend some time with him, too."
She had to admit that of all the guys Bruce gave the absolute best hugs.
A/N: I don't own any of the Avengers, and the title of this comes from the song "White Knuckles" by OK Go