A/N: I realise this is very very short but I hope you still enjoy it. This is a small little one shot about Ethel's fears and why she won't allow her sister in.
The Pain Inside Her Heart
Ethel Hallow did not show her feelings to just anyone, she was known for closing herself of from the whole world. Ethel heard a lot of people say she was selfish, cruel, a brat, annoying and ungrateful, she had also heard people question why she was so cruel to Esmerelda when the girl was only ever nice to her.
The truth was Ethel Hallow, the girl who acted so tough and unbreakable was constantly terrified inside. The girl lived in fear every single second of everyday just waiting for everything to go wrong.
Ethel adored Esmerelda, but she forced herself to be cruel, she forced herself to push her away because she could not bring herself to show her true feelings to her. She didn't want to be so mean to her but it was easier.
Ethel had always suffered from a lack of affection and truth be told people always got sick of Ethel in the end, she had experienced this with countless people before. Ethel figured she was just not a likeable person and had learned to cope with that.
However, the girl had given her heart and soul to her parents, showing them all the affection she could, but they never accepted it, as the years went by they pushed her away more and more and the rejection hurt Ethel more than she would ever admit to anyone. It had made her afraid to love anyone or even trust anymore. It was impossible for the girl.
That was the exact reason Ethel would not allow herself to become close to her sister because she was waiting, she was waiting for her to get sick of her like everyone else and drift apart from her, she was waiting for her to reject her. Ethel had it in her head that if she pretended not to love her, pretended not to care about her, then when Esmerelda does finally reject her it won't even hurt her because she had distanced herself so much from her. The thought that Esmerelda would always love her never crossed her mind, she lost everyone she loved sooner or later it was only a matter of time.
The fear ate Ethel alive a lot of the time and she was so worried it was going to happen, she knew she could just tell her sister but she didn't even know how to explain her fear to her. Letting her sister in and then losing her terrified Ethel all the time, it was the thing she feared the most, she could not allow herself to bond with her because Esmerelda had a way of making her love her even when she didn't want to and Ethel knew losing her sister would hurt more than losing anyone else.
Ethel flicked the page of the book she was reading as she got lost in her thoughts wishing and hoping that one day this fear would go away and she could live normally and allow her sister in.