Fanfiction cliché 1 – The bachelor auction.

In which someone gets put in a bachelor auction and someone buys him.

The bachelor

"Our next bachelor is none other than the headquarter's very own agent, Wufei Chang!"

Wufei bit back a snarl as he stepped onto the stage and into the spotlight. He could not believe that Sally had tricked him in to this. She had made it sound like he was going to be part of the security at a charity event, not a prize to be auctioned out!

Duo laughed his ass off after he had found out – in fact, he was still doing it, because the second that Sally had called out his name, Duo's maniac laughter started to echo through the ballroom.

Wufei shifted his jaw as he swore revenge both on the evil woman and his idiot partner standing bellow him in a sea of eager-looking females. He really wished that Duo would not there to witness the event because he would never let him live it down.

"So ladies... and gentlemen," she said, nodding her head at the still laughing Duo in front of the stage. "We will start the bidding at 500 credits for this fine piece of man meat," she happily called out into the microphone.

Wufei couldn't decide who to direct his killer glare at. Sally or the hyena at his feet. He settled for his partner who really should know better than to piss him off since he had the spare key to his beloved apartment. He quietly swore revenge on the man formally known as his best friend.

"Can I get 500 credits?" Several hands were raised in the air as voices happily called out their agreement. Wufei closed his eyes in shame, clearly thinking that things could not get any worse, only to snap them open again at the sound of that voice. That high pitched voice that haunted his nightmares and had been the bane of his existence since he first set his foot in the Preventers building. The voice that belonged to none other then Beth Jones, fellow floor agent and personal stalker.

He wasn't the only one who had noticed her, because Duo stopped laughing and stared at her with his mouth open. Duo was very aware of the "Becky situation" as he called it since he, on several occasions, had saved Wufei from her. Not that Duo could do all that much because she haunted him like a dog. Flirting, touching, cornering him at any chance she got.

Wufei couldn't really do anything to stop her since he already had two sexual discrimination complaints hanging over his head. Une had been very clear that if he got another one, he would be out on his ass.

Duo thought that he should file his own sexual discrimination complaint, but Wufei refused. He did have some honor after all, and men, real men, did not get sexually harassed. It just was not done. It didn't matter how many times he woke up in the morning, dreading to have to go to work because she would be there. It didn't matter how many times she would grab his dick when he walked past, even if it was pretty often since he had to walk past her desk to get to the file room. He didn't know how much money he had spent on sweets to bribe Duo to get the files that he needed.

But right now, it didn't matter even if he owned a whole candy shop. He certainly couldn't use it to bribe Duo because the latter had no way of helping in this situation. There were no doors to lock here, no way to arrive early to avoid her. He was wide open for attack, here on the stage, with an uncomfortably hot spotlight shining down on him and a price on his head.

God, if it weren't for those complaints, he would have broken her nose long ago, or at least those wandering fingers. It just wasn't fair!

So he might possibly have looked down a bit on the female agents when he first joined... and pretty much ever since. But the most of them were so weak!

The first complaint had been filed by his first partner. But what did they expect when they put him on active duty with someone who spent more time checking her nails than her gun? The woman was nothing but an idiot, something that he had told her quite clearly. There went complaint number one.

Thank god that Duo had joined the Preventers right then. The man might be annoying when he was in one of his moods, but at least he knew how to do his job, and he didn't leave plastic nails all over the office.

The second complaint came from another agent on their floor. He didn't really know her competence as an agent, she had just pissed him off, and there went complaint number two.

All he needed was one more, and he was done. Becky was probably very aware of the situation, since all that kind of paper work went past her. He could see it now, him not wanting to do whatever she wanted him to do on their "date" and Becky dangling a sexual discrimination form over his head before pushing him down on her bed. Wufei shuddered. Just yesterday she had cornered him in the copy room. For someone without military training, she was terrifyingly fast. She had him pushed up against the copy machine with her hand down his pants, whispering about his head between her legs before he even realized that someone else was in the room.

He meet Duo's eyes from the stage, trying to signal his desperation. ´Get me out of this, and I'll write your reports until you retire,' he tried to communicate, but Duo looked about as helpless as he felt. The betting went on, but as the price climbed, less women joined in. Wufei felt slightly light-headed when 5 000 was called out, and only three people were still bidding.

"6 000," Becky purred, making the woman in the back and the woman to the right hesitate.

"6 500." A new voice called out, and Wufei felt his hope rise. Duo was standing there with a hand in the air.

Becky didn't look worried. "7 000."

"8 000 credits," Duo yelped.

Becky leered. "10 000."

Shit! 8 000 was probably everything Duo owned.

"11 000," Duo choked out with the worst poker face in the history of mankind.

"12," she said with a smile.

Duo licked his lips. "12 and one Harley Davidson low rider classic."

Wufei blinked. Did Duo just offer off his motorcycle?

Sally seemed to be at a loss. "Uh, and how much is that worth?"

"I- It's custom made. About 10 000." Duo responded in a scratchy voice.

Wufei was actually pretty sure that it was worth more than that after all the work Duo had put into restoring it to its original glory, not to mention that there were not that many Harley Davidson motorcycles left now days.

"23 000." Becky replied calmly as she undressed Wufei with her eyes.

Jesus fucking Christ! Where did the woman get all that money? She must be getting the same amount of money as they got, if not less, since she didn't have field duty. But they sure as hell did not have that kind of money.

It looked like Duo had trouble breathing. "12 000, one Harley Davidson low rider classic and- and a two bedroom apartment."

Wufei's jaw dropped.

Sally looked about as shocked as the rest of them. There was a moment of complete silence in the large hall. "Uhmm, Duo, did you just offer off your apartment?"

Duo gave her a stiff nod.

"Well, that is dedication for you all, ladies. So if there are no more calls..." She gave Becky a sour look. The woman looked ready to argue, but her friends around her seemed to have ganged up on her.

"Sold, to Mr. Duo Maxwell for 12 000, credits, one Harley Davidson and a two bedroom apartment." She slammed the club down on the table in front of her.

Wufei startled to life from the sound and jumped off the stage. He hurried over to his friend who looked slightly ill. "Duo..."

Duo gave him a wide-eyed look. "Let's go." He rasped.

Wufei quietly followed the braided man through the crowd. The woman were cheering and clapping Duo on the back while giving Wufei looks that said that they knew exactly what was going on. Wufei wished that someone would share their knowledge because he had no idea. Friends did not give away all their savings, their transportation and their home to save a friend out on an embarrassing situation.

"You owe me big time for this," Duo said as they finally stepped out of the building. "Or actually," Duo took a shaky breath, "I need to borrow about 3 000 credits."

Wufei looked at his slumping friend. "Duo... what's going on? Why did you- You just can't- Why?"

Duo just shook his head and ignored the question. "I'm going to crash at your place for a while."

"Duo."

The other man sighed harshly. "No... just no. Not now, not ever, because if you haven't figured it out by now, then-" Another shaky breath, this one sounding like he was close to tears.

Wufei was stating to panic. Duo never cried, it was all wrong. "Duo, we'll fix it, I can talk to Quatre, he'll let us borrow us the money. You don't have to give away your bike or your apartment. Shit, your apartment! You love that place. Duo, what the hell is going on?!"

Duo rubbed his hands over his eyes. "God, you are so fucking stupid." Then he kissed him.

Wufei's brain shut down with the words 'does no compute' blinking before his eyes.

Duo pulled away. "Fuck, sorry. God fucking damn it!" He screamed out into the night. "I held back for years and one-" he cut himself off and gave Wufei's shocked face a quick look. "Forget about it, sorry. I'm-I'm just going to go now. I need to pack and-and I'll crash at one of Quatre's places, don't worry about it." With that he turned and hurried down the street as quickly as he could without running.

Wufei shook himself out of his paralyzed state. "Duo!"

He watched his friend stop in the middle of a step with his back stiff as a board.

Wufei licked his lips. "What time-What time is our date?"

Duo took a slow step towards him, then another, then another until they were standing right in front of each other. "I'm not doing anything right now," Duo said faintly.

Wufei found himself smiling. "Now works for me."

The grin that spread across Duo's face was like watching the sun rise. "Great, come on. Loise's should still be open."

Wufei frowned. "Loise's? But we eat lunch there just about every day."

Duo nodded and searched through his pockets. "Yeah, and that's why I have these," He said and held up two 'free meal' coupons. "Consider this to be the last thing that I'm going to be paying for in a very long time."

Wufei couldn't help but laugh.

The End

-.-:-:-:-:-:-:-

So this was the first Fiction cliché one-shot. There will be more.

The reason I'm writing this is because when I get stuck in my other fictions I need to write on something else to keep myself going.

Please tell me what you thought about it. Pleeeeease? –puppy eyes-

(Oh, and the vote on -first fiction to be finished, is still on if you feel like letting your voice be heard.)