Dinkoes Ate My Baby
by Carycomic
Synopsis: Let's just say this is what happens when you get bitten by rabid thought-bunnies.
Disclaimer: if you recognize it, I don't own or profit from it.
Chapter 1.
A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...
Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, had finally gotten his TIE fighter under control. By that time, however, he was far outside the Yavin system. The shockwave produced by the explosion of the Death Star had inadvertently boosted his craft's speed to almost that of light!
And, now, his life-support system was on half-power.
"There is no choice," he thought to himself: "I must go into a healing trance, until someone traces the signal from my beckon call. May the Force permit it to be someone from the Empire."
Whereupon, he lowered the life-support power to its barest minimum before slipping into suspended animation.
SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA
OCTOBER 30, 1997
Daniel Osbourne was walking out to his van when he collided with a red-and-gold wall.
"Hey, Shorty! Watch where you're...Oh! Hey, Oz."
"Hey, Larry. My bad! I was trying to keep my costume from dragging on the ground.
"Costume?" echoed the Sunnydale High football player: "You mean _you_ are going trick-or-treating?"
"Yes and no. I got shanghaied by Principal Snyder to act as chaperone for some of the middle school kids. Some sort of child-safety thing the Mayor foisted on him. And, you know what a brown-noser Snyder can be!"
"For sure!" replied Larry, with an emphatic chuckle: "So, who're you gonna goes as?"
"Well, a couple weeks back, SciFi Channel showed this thirtieth anniversary marathon of LOST IN SPACE re-runs. Built around the fictional launch date of the Jupiter 2, in the series premiere?"
"Don't tell me...!" began Larry.
Oz grinned and nodded: "I'm going as Will Robinson."
Larry shook his head in half-serious pity, before asking if he could get a look at the costume. And, Oz amiably obliged.
"Orange?!" exclaimed the former, a moment later.
"It's the color of the outfit Bill Mumy wore all through Season 2," Oz explained: "And, it was either this or his Season 3 color. Lilac!"
"Well, if you have to choose between two evils, I suppose orange is the less gay one. Where'd you get it, anyway?"
Oz pointed down the street, behind him: "It just opened up! Run by some Englishman named Snow. Or, was it Rain? Ah, well! Got to get home, and try it on for size. See you, Lar."
"You, too, Oz."
Ethan Rayne looked up at the ringing of the little bell caused by the opening of his front door.
"Yes, sir! How may I help you?"
"Well, you see," began Larry: "It's like this. I volunteered to be part of the Mayor's Halloween chaperone program, for under-privileged kids, this year? And, I need a costume that will be instantly recognizable to everybody. Preferably, someone...bad-ass...if you know what I mean."
"Yes, sir. I think I do. And, over against the far left back wall is a costume that I think would be _ideal_ for a strapping young man like yourself! If you'll follow me, please?"
Larry did as instructed. Thirty seconds later, Ethan Rayne was gesturing, with his right arm, like a model on THE PRICE IS RIGHT.
"Is this what you had in mind, sir?"
Larry became so ecstatic, his face practically went anime' .
"Oh, wow, man! Yeah! That's _perfect_!"
"In that case, if you're not pressed for time, you can try it on for size in one of the fitting rooms. Right through here."
The Englishman's left arm pointed to a doorway with a simple green curtain. And, Larry ran through it like he was making a hundred yard-return on the football field! Ten minutes later, he was examining himself in a three-way mirror.
"Awesome!" he exclaimed (in a voice somewhat muffled by the elaborate mask): "And, may the Force be with any brats too stupid to fork over their Halloween candy!"