He held his son down in the puddle. His son's struggles grew weaker. His baby's little chubby fist was now moving feebly in an attempt to fend off his father. But, this was what he had to do. He had to kill his six month old son. He had to kill his little Akihiro. If he didn't the consequences would be much worse than what he was doing. He was killing his son and the little lungs were filling with water, choking him. His son was nearly gone.
She had just given birth to his son and he held him in his arms for the first time. His hands felt unnaturally large and far too rough for a little baby. But, he cradled him gently, and Itsu smiled at him. His son squirmed in his arms and waved his red, tiny hands at him. Logan was overwhelmed by his sudden sense of protection, that he would do anything for his child, anything, and always protect him. Itsu was beautiful, his son was beautiful, and his life finally seemed, happy.
"Do you ever think about how it could've been?"
Akihiro, his son, is now six and learning to ride a bike. If it had been ten years ago and Logan had told himself, that he would one day be teaching his child to ride a bike, he would've laughed or cried. He had been a killer, a programmed killer, not a caregiver. But, here he was, a father, to an amazing kid, who was already getting the hang of it and without training wheels!
"Alright, you ready? I'm going to let go."
"Go ahead! I'm ready!"
He let his fingers slide off of the seat where he had been supporting the bike. It wobbled a bit, but Akihiro found his balance and pedaled to the end of the block, where he stopped and turned back, his eyes full of delight.
"Did you see that, Dad?"
There was blood from where he had clawed his son. His son was still alive; he was a fighter, a survivor, just like his old man. But, this was not a fight he would win.
His son had fallen down while on a family hiking trip and he was trying not to cry.
"I'm gonna be tough like you, Dad."
Logan picked his son up and dusted him off, the bloody knee he gad gotten was already fading thanks to the healing factor. Still, Logan kissed the knee, just to make sure.
"It's okay to cry sometimes. Showing emotion is a lot more brave and tougher than you can imagine." He told Akihiro.
"Got it…"
The scent of fear was all over his son and the death throes that had been so violent before were slowing. His little body was trembling all over. If he could talk, his son might ask, "Why daddy? Why'd you have to kill me? Don't you love me?"
Logan would say to his son, "Yes, I love you more than anything in the whole wide world, but one day you will kill many people and I have to stop you. I'm sorry. And I love you, kid."
His son had a healing factor and so, when he was sixteen he still looked ten. His mother was aging naturally and Akihiro was worried. "Will you die, Mom?" he asked Itsu worryingly. She laughed and picked him up, though he protested, "I'm sixteen, Stop!"
"We will all die, someday, but I will be here for you as long as I can, I promise." She told him. He let her hold him then and stayed in her arms for a while.
Logan silently cursed himself and his healing that would prevent a normal life for his family.
Itsu died when Akihiro turned twenty. She died of cancer, wasting away in the last months of her life. She was buried beneath a cherry tree.
"Above all else, he hates you." Emma Frost told him, many yesterday's ago.
He was right to. He had every right to hate him. It was Logan's own damn fault; he believed that had caused his son to be doomed from the start.
Today his son is dead and Logan is lying down looking straight up at nothing and he wishes he was dead. He wants to die. He hates himself.
He is in a meadow at dawn and he wonders how he got there. Suddenly, it doesn't matter because there, a little ways away are his son and Itsu. They are holding hands, smiling, and waiting for him. Logan runs to them and he picks Akihiro up and together they smile and his sons smile lights up the whole world. Logan walks between them and they head home and he is finally at peace.
They had finished burying Itsu when a bald man in a wheel chair came up to them.
Logan. Akihiro. I believe you have been waiting for us.
Logan didn't stay at Xaviers school too long. He instructed Akihiro to and left.
Years later, Akihiro now calls himself Yoma, he still looks fifteen after many years and he had already joined the young avengers. Logan teamed up often with his son through the years. Akihiro dated a girl, Kate, for a while, before settling exclusively on boys.
He settled down and married Anole, it was a huge wedding, and Johnny Storm was the best man. They adopted and cloned one child and named her Laura. She wants to call herself Wolverine. Logan plays with her often and again he is with his family, happy and content.
He is seeing his son for the first time. He is beautiful, like his mother. However, he is just like Logan. It pains him to see so much hatred and anger in his son's eyes. There is an all-consuming bestial rage in his son's eyes. It was the same rage that held Logan to Weapon X. Now they have taken his son and turned him into a monster. Logan feels like sobbing and a tear escapes his eyes and falls down from the restraints that S.H.I. E.L.D. has him in. Now his son is sneering at him, calling Logan weak. He slashes his father and rips through Logan's stomach, slicing it open and exposing organs. His son has bone claws and he has the healing factor. The pain is dulled and Logan is sliding into unconscious, and he sees his baby covered in blood, his blood. His son is walking away from the carnage. Logan is held back by the restraints, but still he tries in vain to just touch his son, to reassure himself that he is real and alive. But, by the time the emergency medical override is engaged his son is far away. He is too far gone to reach.
They are all in the park together. Akihiro and Anole walk hand in hand, Laura is riding on Logan's shoulders and all is well. The world is at peace.
He is pissing off the old man intentionally. He is dark wolverine, wearing his dads costume to really drive his dad crazy. Honestly, it's working quite well. They both can't wait to fight each other; their fight will come out of revenge, rage, and inevitable sorrow that must eventually kill one or the other.
He drowned the child before Itsu had a clue. He was walking back to the house with the dead child in his arms. Itsu was waiting, she had been shot, and her blood was everywhere. She was dead, her stomach bloated from black flies. She turned to him,
"You killed my child, monster."
And now Akihiro is alive and stirring in his arms, he makes choking noises and starts to retch. He is vomiting green and black puddle water. "Why did you do this Daddy? I just wanted to play." Akihiros claws pop out and he stabs Logan in the neck. Itsu joins in the fray. His blood is getting sprayed all over her pretty kimono. Logan is being ripped apart by their corpses.
He wakes again for the third time that night and knows he will never be at peace in anytime soon.
It could've all been so different. He could have been so different. Instead, Daken, not Akihiro, had grown to be just like him, maybe even worse than him. He was drowning his baby, who had grown up, but still Daken was his son and he was hers too. It was like she was dying again and Logan was killing her. Daken looked so much like her.
Daken wasn't moving anymore, his struggles had finally ceased.
Now, he looked so young in death. Logan held him in his arms, cradling Daken. He imagined what it would've felt like to hold his newborn son, all the shoes he could have tied, the bruises he could have kissed, and the family photos that he Itsu and his son could have taken together. Logan could have been there for his son. He could have been a father if he would have only had the chance.