Abandoned, a bleach fanfic

AN: Why is it I have the hardest time with one-shots? Had to get this out of my head before I continue on my others… I almost made it into a chapter story, but decided I have enough going on and everyone is already impatiently waiting for OTWTA to be updated.. (soon!)

AU and 100% OOC cause I can…

Don't own or operate Bleach.

Abandoned

By: Abarai Starsha

"Get out," he whispered as he took his cell phone out of her hands.

She was standing in front of him in their living room, tears in her eyes. A million thoughts running through her head as to why this was her fault. Was she not pretty enough? Did she not cook his favorite meals well enough? Did she not clean their tiny apartment well enough? Did she not love him enough? Show affection enough? How? How could he do this? They were supposed to be together forever.

She couldn't breathe. Her chest tightened, her vision blurred. She never thought she would ever hear those words come from his mouth.

"Did you hear me?" he asked as he turned away from her. He didn't see her as the tears fell when she closed her eyes and bowed her head. He wasn't prepared for this confrontation and acted on impulse. As long as he made it her fault, it would be ok.

Rukia couldn't move. She wanted to fight for him, wanted to show him that she would be a better friend, a better lover, a better anything she needed to be for him. They had been through so much together; the ups and downs of high school and college. She was there for his entrance exams. She was there for his medical boards. She was there, always supporting, helping where she could. They held each other through several miscarriages and tragically, buried their infant son together.

As she contemplated this thought a realization came to her. His father talked about having grandkids since the day he brought her to his house to meet his family. That had to be it. In his eyes, she was a failure.

"I'm going out, I want you gone by the time I get back," he said as he pulled his coat on. He opened the door and watched as the first snow of the season started to fall. He closed his eyes and thought about what he had just done. She had nowhere to go, no family. She had no money of her own since he had made her stay home. He stopped and sighed. He turned back towards the door when his phone rang. He flipped it open.

"So…are you coming over my love?" The sweet seductive voice on the other end purred. Ichigo ran his hand through his hair and looked at the door.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few." He said as he turned back towards his car.

Rukia watched as their only car pulled out of the parking space. She pulled the curtain before digging out a suitcase from under the bed. She had no idea what to pack, where to go or what to do. She opened a dresser drawer and pulled out some shirts. A glint of silver peeked out from the bottom of the drawer. Rukia moved the shirts aside and picked up the tiny frame. The picture was of her and Ichigo at the hospital with their new born son. They were so happy then, even though it was only for a few days.

Rukia hugged the picture frame as she sat on the bed. She let the tears fall freely as she thought of their infant son who had died before they got to bring him home. He was born with a weak, under developed heart. There was nothing they could do to repair it as they had missed it initially during her prenatal exams. It was one of those things, the nurses had said to each other thinking Rukia was asleep one night.

Several minutes later Rukia dried her eyes and put the picture on Ichigo's side of the bed. She packed a few clothes into her small suitcase and went to the living room. She took one last look around wanting to remember the happy times they had together here. She put her coat on and left.

Not sure where she should go, Rukia headed downtown. She had heard Ichigo mention several times that there was a women's shelter there. Several of his patients ended up there after being treated by him for domestic abuse. Rukia remembered feeling lucky that she had found a wonderful man who would never hurt her. She smiled bitterly.

It took her forty-five minutes to get to the shelter only to be told that because she wasn't being abused she wasn't a priority case. Because she wasn't a priority case they did not have any room for her. They suggested the regular homeless shelter on the other side of town.

Rukia walked back out into the cold. The snow had picked up and the sun was setting. Across the street, couples and families were having dinner at the corner ramen shop. Laughter filled the air as the door opened. Rukia's stomach grumbled. She reached into her pocked and pulled out her coin purse. She had only a few thousand yen to her name and had to be careful. As she put the purse in her pocket, she was bumped from behind. She felt a hand close around hers before the coin purse was snatched from her grasp.

"Hey!" Rukia yell as she realized what was happening. She turned around in time to see a man with long red hair take off with her purse and suitcase! "Stop!" Rukia yelled as she took off after him.

She managed to keep up with him for several streets before he jumped a 10 foot fence leaving her behind. Defeated and out of breath, Rukia leaned against the brick wall in the alley for support. By now the sun was down and the street lights were on.

Not knowing what else to do, she sat down and curled up in the corner.

The snow continued to fall…

Heart pounding, Rukia woke up to a crash in the alley. Her eyes sprung open as the adrenalin ran through her body. She looked around, but didn't see anyone.

"Hello?" she whispered. Her voice was raspy from the cold. She jumped when another crash sounded across the alley.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a stray cat jump out of the trash can and move onto the next, knocking the lid out of the way as it looked for its next meal.

Rukia leaned back on the brick wall and closed her eyes. Life had reduced her to this. She was out here, hiding in an alley while Ichigo was…

Well…

Ichigo was at the very least somewhere warm. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. She should have seen this coming, shouldn't she? Were there signs? It all started with the death of their son. Ichigo became distant. Rukia thought it was his way of dealing with thing. He didn't seem very happy when she became pregnant again. Rukia thought he was being cautious, not wanting to get attached until they had the doctor's confirmation that everything was ok. But then one morning she awoke in a pool of blood. Ichigo rushed her to the hospital. She had another miscarriage.

After extensive tests, it was determined that Rukia would not be able to sustain another pregnancy without severe complications to her own body. They stopped trying to have children after that. Ichigo drifted further and further away while Rukia planted herself in denial.

Now, cold, homeless and hungry she had nothing. She closed her eyes and not for the first time in her life, wished for death.

Rukia spent the next few days looking for work, food and somewhere to stay. As the snow continued to fall, she took shelter and warmth where she could: churches, temples, shops, and the train station. She had tried everything she could think of, surviving on eating snow and rummaging through the trash for what little scraps it offered.

A week went by and she had enough.

Rukia walked out of an alley and noticed she was close to the river. There was a park across the street that had a walking bridge going over the water. She headed over there and stood at the top of the bridge. She looked down into the water and closed her eyes. She let her thoughts run rampant as she blamed herself for everything bad in her life; her parent's death, her son's death, her inability to bear children…even Ichigo's betrayal was her fault.

"Why, Ichigo?" She asked.

After the death of their son, Ichigo had started coming home later and later from work. Sometimes he would spend the night at the hospital. Rukia never questioned his excuses as she trusted him completely until that morning. It started while he was in the shower. His cell phone rang. Thinking it was important for work she answered it and didn't think anything of it when the line was disconnected. It was the picture that made her look twice. Ichigo's background picture on the phone was of him and another woman. They were kissing each other when the picture was taken.

Rukia had no idea who the red head in the picture was. It was then she knew. The late nights, the nights he never came home. She knew and she felt her world come crashing down around her.

It was then Ichigo stepped out of the shower. Rukia, wide eyed, held up his phone so he could see the picture. "Who is she?"

"No one you need to know." He snapped.

"Who is she?"

"Rukia, not now, ok? I've got a meeting in a few minutes and I can't be late," he said as he got dressed.

"What do you mean, not now? I'm not looking for a three hour descriptive story on how you met or what you do when you're together. I just asked who she was."

"And I said it was none of your business!" he snapped.

"You're KISSING her! I think that makes it my business!"

"And I say it's not!" He yelled as he pulled his tie into place.

"Ichigo!" Rukia reached out her hand and put it on his shoulder. She wanted him to turn around and look at her. But he didn't. He shrugged her off and went in the living room.

"Rukia, it's over, ok? I want you to move out."

"What?" She said as she followed him. "That's it? It's over just like that?"

"I want children. It's as simple as that."

Rukia stood there, shocked.

Ichigo turned and looked at her. "Get out," he whispered as he took his cell phone out of her hands.

Rukia closed her eyes. She still couldn't believe he kicked her out just like that. The years they spent together meant nothing. She meant nothing.

Nothing.

Worthless.

"I am worthless," she whispered.

"I highly doubt that." Came a man's voice. Rukia looked up to find a short white haired man standing over her. She had been drowning in her thoughts and failed to notice his presence.

"E-excuse me?"

"I don't like to repeat myself, Rukia."

Rukia squinted, "Shiro-chan?"

He visibly cringed at his old nickname. "Toshiro," he ground out. He looked at her tiny form huddled against the wind. She was pale and deathly thin. Her coat was torn and dirty. "What are you doing out here this late by yourself? Where's Kurosaki?"

Rukia turned and looked out at the water. "I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"He might be at home if you need him."

"That doesn't answer my question." He persisted.

Rukia sighed. "I-I left."

Toshiro looked at her. They were all high school friends at one point – he, Kurosaki, Rukia and Momo. Rukia and Ichigo went together like he and Momo. It had been years since he's seen Rukia, not since Momo's death, but he ran into Kurosaki from time to time as they shared the same building for work. Ichigo was a doctor while Toshiro was the chief accountant.

Toshiro frowned. He had seen Kurosaki out to lunch recently with a woman with long orange hair. He had assumed she was a new nurse or a new assistant but now…

"Rukia, why would you leave?"

Toshiro stood impatiently as his mind began to piece things together.

"Did you split up?"

Rukia nodded. "Something like that," she whispered.

"Where are you staying? I'll walk you there," he said as he held out his hand. Rukia turned and looked at him with a blank stare.

"Walk me where?"

"Where you're staying." He repeated.

"I'm staying here," she said.

Toshiro cocked his eyebrow. "Here? Outside? In the snow? At night? Alone?"

Rukia didn't respond.

"Come with me. You can stay on my couch until we figure this out." When she still did not move, Toshiro bent over and took her hand in his. It was like holding ice. "I'm not going to leave you out here. It's ok, come on." He gently pulled as Rukia slowly stood up. She kept her eyes downcast as she followed him to his car.

Rukia shivered as he started the engine and she began to feel the warm heat from the vents. She settled into the passenger seat and tried not to think about anything.

Toshiro pulled into his driveway and looked over at the small woman who was now sleeping in her seat. He shook his head and gave her a nudge.

"Rukia? We're here." When she didn't move he knew she must have been exhausted. How long had she been outside? "Rukia?"

He gave up, opened her door and carefully picked her up. He was surprised at how light she was. He gasped as she buried her head into his chest. It had been a long time since he held a woman. Not since Momo died of cancer several years ago. Right around the time Ichigo and Rukia lost their son. It was a tragic year for them all. They were all pretty close up until that time. After that, Toshiro buried himself in his work and closed himself off from everyone around him.

He managed to open his door and carried Rukia to his couch. He carefully laid her down. He was shocked when he took her shoes off. Her feet were bloodied and blistered. As he looked more closely at her he realized she must have been wandering the streets for a long time. He found a blanket and covered her.

He then picked up the phone and dialed.

Ring ring…

"Shh! Oooh! Stop that!" A woman's voice answered. Toshiro could hear heavy breathing in the background along with a lot of rustling sounds.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Oooooh! I'm not going to be able to control myself if you keep doing that!" she said as she giggled.

"Hello? Kurosaki?" Toshiro tried again. This time, the line went dead.

What the hell? He looked at Rukia's small form on his couch and frowned.

"Toshiro! What a nice surprise to see you out of that cave you call an office." Ichigo said with a smile. He extended his hand which the shorter man only glanced at.

"Where's Rukia?"

Ichigo's face instantly paled. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. "Sh-she's at home. Why?"

"Don't lie to me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you do. Where's Rukia?"

"I told you – "

"I found her late last night at the park down by the river. She was nearly frozen to death. What the hell happened?"

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "It's none of your concern."

"The hell it isn't! She told me she left you and I know she's lying."

The door opened and a tall woman with long orange hair sauntered in. "Your next patient is ready to see you, Kurosaki-kun," she said as she smiled.

Toshiro looked at her. She was barely dressed in a nurse's outfit; a short white skirt and a white blouse which barely contained her huge breasts. He shook his head. Her voice matched the one heard last night when he called their house.

"Oh! I didn't know you had company, Kurosaki-kun," she said as she gave Toshiro a big smile.

"You're pathetic." He said as he walked past the nurse and headed for the door.

"It's not what you think!" Ichigo yelled out after him. Toshiro stopped and turned around.

"Isn't it? Where's Rukia?" When Ichigo didn't respond, Toshiro walked out.

Ichigo watched as the door slowly closed.

"Kurosaki-kun?" He looked at her and gave her a weak smile.

"It's ok, tell the patient I'm very sorry but I have to reschedule. In fact, clear the rest of my day."

"Ooo! Are we going somewhere?"

Ichigo looked at his assistant and shook his head. "No, not today." He watched as her face fell. "We'll do something this weekend, ok?"

"Lunch then?"

"Yeah, we can do that."

"Ok!" she said with a new smile in place as she left to take care of his patents.

Ichigo sat in his chair and closed his eyes. He never thought she would actually leave. She had nowhere to go. He knew that, she knew that. He shook his head. She could be so stubborn.

The truth was he didn't know what to do. Rukia had been on his mind constantly in the previous weeks. He was building up the courage to tell her when she confronted him with the picture. He didn't even know it was there. Inoue must have taken the picture and then set up his phone when he was showering at her place. He was taken off guard and became defensive. He was embarrassed and knew he was being stupid, but what choice did he have now?

"Where's Rukia?"

Ichigo decided to go for a walk to clear his head. As he neared his door, it swung open, hitting his feet, chest and head.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Kurosaki-kun!" Inoue said as she rounded the corner and put her hands in front of her face. Ichigo held his head.

"It's ok, no harm done."

"I…um...cleared the rest of your schedule. Dr. Ishida was able to take your current patient but he said to tell you that if you pulled something like this again he would report you."

Ichigo nodded. Damn Ishida. Always by the book.

"I…um…also wanted to check on you. You seemed upset when Hitsugaya-san left. I heard your girlfriend's name mentioned. Is she ok? Did she take the news hard?" Ichigo went back to his desk and sat down. Inoue followed behind him and put her hands on his shoulders, rubbing.

"I didn't tell her much of anything."

"Then why did she leave?"

"Because I told her to get out."

"What? Kurosaki-kun! No wonder you're all stressed out and tense! I thought it was because you might have regretted telling her. So she doesn't know?"

"No."

Inoue smiled. "It'll all be ok. I promise."

"Inoue, I kicked her out. She had nowhere to go. She was found on the river bridge freezing while we were…" he stopped and sighed. Inoue slowly licked the side of his neck. She traced his ear with the tip of her tongue.

"She is such a strong woman. You know she'll be ok." She whispered. "Now we are free to be together."

"Yeah," Ichigo said without much enthusiasm.

Rukia woke up to an empty house. She was shocked to see how late in the day it was and quickly folded the bedding neatly on the couch. She picked up a note lying on the side table.

Rukia:

Had to go in to work, but will take the afternoon off. Feel free to take a shower. I have some of Momo's things you can change into.

Toshiro

Rukia placed the note back on the table and looked around. While small, the house was elegantly decorated. It had changed a lot since Momo had died. Gone were the endless stuffed bears and bear pictures that decorated the place. In their place were more sophisticated pictures and sculptures. Knights riding dragons gave the small room a medieval appeal.

Rukia knew the place well as it was the first house Momo and Toshiro bought together when they graduated high school. They had gotten married and the house was his present to her. Ichigo and Rukia had been over several times for dinners and parties or just to hang out. Momo would tease Ichigo about asking Rukia to marry him. He always did manage to dodge the question. "Ah, she knows where she belongs; she doesn't need a piece of paper telling her that." Momo would glance at Rukia who would find something new to look at or comment on, changing the topic.

As she passed the spare room on her way to the bathroom, she noticed that it too was decorated differently. She also noticed that the guest bed was unmade. Rukia smiled a sad smile and knew what she would find in the main bedroom. Curiosity got the better of her and she felt her eyes water over her best friend as she opened the door. Bears lined the walls. Stuffed bears, pictures of bears, everything was the same as it was the day she moved into the hospital. Toshiro had not touched it.

Silently, Rukia closed the door as the tears made their way down her cheeks. She had missed her best friend. Rukia took a deep breath.

After visiting the bathroom, she picked up the paper and started to search the wanted ads. She had no skills and only a high school education. She worked one dead end job after another since graduating to help put Ichigo through school. Once he graduated he told her she would never have to work again.

The ad section was small as there were not that many jobs out there. Those that were listed required a higher degree in education then what she had.

What was she going to do?

Frustrated and angry she fought with herself. She wasn't good enough, she couldn't do anything, she couldn't get Ichigo to marry her much less stay with her, and she couldn't provide him with children they so desperately wanted.

Rukia felt like pulling her hair out and threw the news paper across the room just as Toshiro opened the door.

"If you're going for hang time it will never fly like that, Rukia." He said as he tossed his coat onto the hook by the door. "Are you feeling better this morning?" He walked over to where she was sitting. Her puffy violet eyes told him everything he needed to know. While she was good at hiding her emotions, he had always been better at reading them.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Rukia, while I'm not going to pretend that I know everything that's going on between you and Kurosaki, I do know you didn't just up and leave. You will stay here."

"Thank you, but –"

"I will not take no for an answer."

Rukia looked at him and didn't know what to say. "Thank you," she whispered as her eyes softened.

"When was the last time you've eaten? Never mind, I'm taking you out to lunch."

Rukia started to protest, but Toshiro was already at the door and throwing her coat at her. Rukia complied.

He took her to one of the local family eateries within walking distance of his house. Rukia looked at the different families enjoying their food. Everyone seemed to be so happy.

"Momo used to drag me here when she thought I was depressed."

Rukia looked at him. She could see the pain in his eyes as he relived old memories.

"We could go somewhere else?"

"I haven't been here since Momo died." He said as he turned to her. He opened the door for her.

"Toshiro – "

"You know the funny thing? I would hate coming here with her. I always thought the family atmosphere was childish and a waste. But somehow, I always felt better once we were here."

Rukia understood and gave him a small smile. "Thank you, for bringing me here."

"I think it will do us both some good."

The waitress brought them some ice water and took their order.

Rukia fiddled with her hands in her lap. "Children."

"Excuse me?"

"Ichigo wanted children so badly. We both did." Rukia took a sip of her water before continuing. "That's why he told me to leave. There's someone else. Someone who can give him what I cannot."

"Rukia…"

"I finally found an answer to Momo's oldest question."

He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"Why he never married me. Did you know when our son was born he asked me? We talked about having a small simple wedding. Then when Ichiro died, everything changed. I had asked him several months after if he still wanted to marry me. He just looked at me and said 'someday'. It was never brought up or mentioned again. Not even when I got pregnant later on." Rukia closed her eyes as Toshiro balled his hands into fists under the table.

"I'm sorry," Rukia whispered. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"You need to talk about it. It will help you to sort through your feelings."

"Is that why you withdrew from everyone when Momo died?" Rukia looked at him. "I didn't lose one best friend when she died, I lost two."

Toshiro looked into her pained violet eyes as his own softened.

"That's why I know you should talk about it. I made the mistake of cutting you out of my life because you reminded me so much of her."

The waitress came by with their food. A woman's laugher was heard from another table close by. Rukia looked over as her eyes widened. "Ichigo," she whispered. As Toshiro looked over his eyes narrowed.

Two tables from where they were sitting were Ichigo and his assistant. He had sat down and pulled her into his lap. They were laughing and carrying on as if they were young high school kids. Ichigo caught sight of Rukia and froze. Seeing her play partner stop, Inoue stopped as well and took a seat next to Ichigo. She stared right at Rukia as she snaked her arms around his arm and back.

Ichigo looked at Toshiro who was glaring at him. He sighed, stood and went over to their table with Inoue following close behind.

"Looks like you found her," he said as he tried to make a joke. Rukia was finally able to move and looked at Toshiro.

"I saw him at the office this morning."

"Yeah, he sure did. He came down and was wondering where you were, you know, how you've been and all that. But really, he knew where you were the whole time, didn't you, Shiro?"

"Leave, Kurosaki." He said through gritted teeth. Rukia felt a wave of nausea crash into her and suddenly got very light headed.

"No, Toshiro, it's ok," she said as she attempted to stand. "I'll…." As Rukia stood, she fainted. Ichigo was close enough and caught her before she hit the ground. Other people in the restaurant stopped their conversations to see what was going on. Toshiro was beside her as Ichigo gently laid her down on the floor.

"Everyone, please back up!" Ichigo said as he slipped into his professional doctor mode. "Inoue, get me a cold damp rag," he said as he pulled his pen light out of his jacket. He gently tugged Rukia's eyelid back and flashed his light in front of her eye before frowning.

Inoue returned with the damp cloth.

"What happened? Will she be ok?" She asked as she gave it to Ichigo who placed it on Rukia's head.

"When was the last time she ate anything?" Ichigo asked Toshiro.

"As far as I know when she still had a place to live," he replied angrily. "How long?"

"Now is not the time."

"Don't you think that might be what's wrong with her? When did you kick her out?"

Ichigo looked at Inoue and then at Rukia. He saw how pale and thin she was and cursed himself for being such a coward. "About a week ago."

Toshiro's eyes widened. "I only found her last night."

Ichigo frowned and looked at Inoue, "Come on, help me get her in the car. She needs to be brought to the hospital for a full work up and fluids."

"Don't you want to call an ambulance?" Asked the waitress.

"It's ok, I'm a doctor and it'll be faster if I just took her in." Ichigo said as he gently picked her up and headed towards the door. Toshiro grabbed Rukia's coat, tipped the waitress and followed closely behind. Ichigo gave him a quizzical look.

"You've already abandoned her once. She's going to need someone at her side when she wakes up." He said as he held the door open for the other man. Ichigo looked away before continuing to his car.

"Six fucking days!" Toshiro said as he punched Ichigo in the mouth. They were standing in the hallway outside of Rukia's room as the nurses tended to her feet and various other minor wounds she had. "You knew she had nowhere to go! You knew she was out there! How can you live with yourself?"

"Kurosaki-kun!" Inoue yelled as she wormed her way between the two men, her attention fully on the blood that was coming out of the orange haired male's nose. Frustrated, Toshiro released his grip.

"Ah! Stop!" Ichigo said as he held his nose, brushing Inoue's hands away. He looked at Toshiro but didn't say anything.

A nurse popped her head out of the room. "Doctor Kurosaki? The patient is awake."

The trio in the hall followed the nurse back into the room to find Rukia sitting up in bed. Various tubes and IV's were attached to her giving her fluid and oxygen.

"You gave us quite the scare," Ichigo said as he took several tissues and cleaned up his nose.

"I didn't mean to be such a bother," she replied bitterly. She saw all the blood on his clothes but didn't say anything.

"Inoue, would you please get my spare shirt out of my office?"

She looked between him and Rukia before giving a small nod. The other nurses followed her out.

"Toshiro, would you give us a minute?"

"No." He said as stood by the bed and crossed his arms over his chest. Ichigo narrowed his eyes.

"It's ok," Rukia whispered as she looked at Toshiro. He frowned before giving Ichigo a warning glare and left the room.

Ichigo looked at Rukia and suddenly didn't know what to say. She was his best friend, she was his lover, she was his everything. Then it all changed. He ran his hand through his hair and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Rukia, I'm-"

"Don't you dare tell me you're sorry, Ichigo!" She interrupted. Her violet eyes were on fire as anger coursed through her veins. "Sorry would have been after the first night. But you were too busy fucking that whore in our house. OUR house while I was out in the cold."

"H-how?"

"I saw you in the window. You were both naked on the couch. You tossed me aside like I was nothing to you." She bit her lip to keep the tears from falling.

"Rukia…"

"Get out."

"She's pregnant." The silence that followed was overwhelming. Ichigo started to time the beats of his heart as it thudded in his chest.

"Congratulations," Rukia said finally as she lost her battle with her tears. "Now get out." She turned her attention to her hands which were fidgeting beneath the sheets.

"I-I thought you should know." He said as he walked out of the room. As he opened the door, Toshiro was standing there waiting. "I'm sorry," he said as he continued down the hall.

Toshiro walked in and found Rukia hugging her knees, crying. He went to her side and put his hand on her shoulder.

"It hurts," she whispered.

"I know," he replied. "Sadly, it's going to for a while. You won't have to go through it alone. I'll be here for you."

"I couldn't ask…"

"Shhh," he said as he wrapped his arms around her. He felt her lean into him. "You don't have to ask. I'm offering."

She nodded and sniffed. "Thank you."

~FIN~