On her way back from Omega 4, a relay malfunction sends Commander Jane Shepard to a parallel universe. At first it seems the same, only two years in the past, but she quickly finds out that things aren't quite right.

This story is dedicated to default FemShep, the one that is considered unmarketable. It was inspired by a picture on DeviantArt showing blonde FemShep (the one initially chosen by vote) with several shopping bags, remarking about her favourite store on the Citadel. I believe it is called The New Shepard and was done by LadyRedDarkness. I know by all rights I should prefer ManShep (white[ish], male, middle-class) but for some reason I like FemShep a lot more. And to me, True Shep was, is, and will always be the default redhead with short hair and green eyes.

The Normandy shook and groaned ominously as its three working engines propelled it toward the mass relay. Behind it, the wreckage of the Collector base began spreading outwards, adding to the already sizable debris field.

Commander Jane Shepard, Spectre and now two-time saviour of the galaxy, stood in the cockpit just behind Joker. Though she had tossed the helmet aside, she still wore her N7 armour, which was covered in Collector blood and damaged in places. Her short red hair was dirty and matted, her skin beaded with sweat.

"I must say I'm impressed, Commander," Miranda Lawson said, coming up behind her. The usual swing of her gait was reduced slightly by the Cerberus-issue armour Shepard had insisted she wear. "We thought it was a suicide mission. You managed to save all the colonists without losing anyone."

"We're not quite there yet," Shepard cautioned. Still, a thin smile arced across her cracked lips. "But yeah. I wasn't expecting things to go that well either. The Alliance is going to piss their pants when they hear about this."

"And the Council won't?" Joker asked, not taking his eyes off the monitors.

"I don't know enough about xenophysiology to make that call," Shepard joked.

"Yeah, neither do I," Joker replied. "Might wanna hang on, we're hitting the relay in three, two, one-"

The Normandy began to shake even harder as the artificial gravity well caught the ship. Shepard clung to the back of Joker's chair when the ship was flung forward, knocking Miranda off her feet and slamming Joker into his chair. The lights flickered and died, a coolant pipe began spewing plasma, and alarms went off across the ship. Shepard fumbled for her helmet as noxious fumes began filling the compartment.

She was sent flying when the Normandy suddenly decelerated, her helmeted head smacking hard against the deck plating. A small fire erupted on a console beside her. As she beat it out with her gloved hand, she shouted, "Tali, give me a status report!"

"Main reactor offline, H-fuel cells engaged," the quarian engineer reported in her accented voice. "Coolant leaks and shattered power conduits- get that fire out!- all over the ship. Number three engine- the finicky one- not working. There's a hull breach on deck three, but it's too early to tell how much structural damage there is."

"Uh, Commander, you might want to look at this," Joker said, pointing out the scratched front window. Behind them, Miranda was back on her feet and attempting to put out a fire that had erupted beside one of the consoles.

"What's going on?" Delilah Shepard asked airily, stroking her blonde hair back with one hand. With the other, she deposited a plastic shopping bag onto the deck of the Normandy's CIC.

"Take a look," Navigator Pressly said, motioning to the cockpit.

Delilah strutted into the cockpit, wishing she had time to take off her ugly Colossus armour. Looming ahead of them was a ship that looked a lot like their own, except bigger. It looked like it had taken a beating, with two engines out and several jagged holes in the hull. Most startling were the markings. The Cerberus logo was quite clearly visible, as was the ship's name. NORMANDY. "Oh, not Cerberus again. I still don't think I've got all the Thorian goop out of my armour." She shuddered, remembering their sick experiments.

"They're hailing us, you want to answer?" Joker asked, with a hint of derision in his voice. He knew that Delilah ALWAYS wanted to chat.

She nodded. "Hi, this is Delilah Shepard aboard the SSV Normandy. What's up?"

A woman with a voice that was harsh and grating compared to her own replied after a long pause. It carried a tone of surprise and suspicion. "This is Commander Jane Shepard on the Normandy. Would you please repeat that last sentence?"

"This is Delilah Shepard of the SSV Normandy," Delilah repeated.

Jane snorted. Great, another fan. One with a Normandy replica, enough obsession to follow her, and the most annoying voice she had ever heard. And the timing sucked. Miranda stumbled to seal a smoking vent behind her, holding a cloth to her face because Cerberus apparently didn't believe in helmets. "State your business."

"Saving the galaxy, duh!" Delilah replied, giggling.

"State your actual business," Jane reiterated, remaining serious.

"Well, we were headed for Virmire, but I decided to stop on Illium to do some shopping first. What are you up to?"

"Commander," Miranda informed, suppressing a cough. "The communications protocols on that ship are two years old, and the signature matches the old Normandy exactly."

At that point, Mordin came rushing from his lab. "Sorry about delay, had to repair coolant leak. Exposed mice to high temperatures in process, quite painful for them. Reaction interesting, but not worth further study."

He sucked in a breath. "Anyway, have come up with theory. Believe relay malfunctioned, causing temporal and possible universal displacement. Implications... massive. Theoretically possible, not proven."

"Wait, wait, wait," Shepard said, gesturing a 'time out' with both hands. "Are you telling me we ended up in the past?"

"Yes. Two years, five months, thirteen days, four hours, twenty minutes, plus or minus two hours. Also possible universal shift to similar but distinct universe. Some physics proven, some disproven! Win some, lose some, humans say. Time travel possible, multiverse exists!"

Jane Shepard nodded, taking it in slowly. After sifting it quickly but carefully through her mind, she got on the communication line with the other Shepard again. "We need to talk."

"That would be great! Come over as soon as you're ready!" Delilah replied excitedly.

The Kodiak drop-shuttle inched slowly toward the other Normandy. Tali had to stay behind to conduct repairs, and Miranda was left in command. Shepard took Garrus, who she knew the longest out of any of the team (beating Tali by a few hours) and she could trust. She also took Samara, who was old, wise, and whose presence would have a real impact on the opinions of many, and Kasumi, who was pleasant enough to talk to and could sneak around and find out what was going on if necessary. She briefly contemplated bringing Grunt or Legion for the firepower but decided against it. Too intimidating. Mordin would be better able to explain what was happening, if he could slow down, but he couldn't, and would only confuse the others.

Garrus brought the Kodiak slowly into the cramped bay of the Normandy, edging it in beside the Mako. The space brought back memories, some better than others. The Mako, which was a good machine overall despite its vicious handling. The spot where Wrex stood, contemplating the plight of his people, which he would later devote his time to saving. The bench where Ash would clean the guns they all relied on. She was never quite the same after Virmire. And of course the elevator that took five minutes to transition two decks.

Jane didn't bother with a safety harness, and stood up as soon as the shuttle landed. Though she hoped for the best, she came prepared. Full armour and helmet. Carnifex on one hip, Tempest on the other, Revenant across the back, though she decided to go without the Cain. Garrus carried a Viper sniper rifle in addition to a heavy pistol. Kasumi had something concealed under her lightly armoured catsuit, and Samara only needed her biotics.

"All right, let's do this. Follow my lead and don't do anything to aggressive. That means no stealing, Kasumi."

"Aww," the Japanese thief groaned, disappointed. The door slid open beside her, and she followed the Commander into the cargo bay.

"Welcome to the Normandy!" a blond-haired woman greeted happily, stepping out of the elevator. Her Colossus armour was clean and shiny. Too clean, too shiny. Her figure was trim and she had large breasts, in contrast with Jane's much more muscular build. "You must be Jane! Don't bother with the helmets, the air is fine."

Jane looked at Garrus, who nodded, then slowly removed her helmet. The other Shepard was visibly taken aback. Was it the slight tinge of red in her green eyes, or the scar running from eyebrow to chin? Green eyes locked with blue. "You're Delilah?"

"Yeah, that's me," she replied, waving the group into the elevator. "Let me show you the ship."

"... and this is my room!" Delilah finished, having succeeded in utterly boring all of the visitors during her tour of the ship. It was similar to the cabin Jane had had on the SR-1 years ago, but organized much differently. Clothes of all types, except for actual uniforms, it seemed, hung from racks and filled drawers. Instead of a desk, there was a cabinet. Delilah opened the door, revealing a collection of shoes.

"Ooh, very nice," Kasumi said, feeling the texture of a pink fur coat. Jane shot her a disapproving glare, and she let go with an apologetic look.

If Delilah noticed, she didn't mention it. "I bought it on the Citadel. It was five hundred credits, but it's oh so soft! I was going to wear it on Noveria, but things didn't go as well as I was hoping." For a moment, she seemed genuinely sad.

"Let me guess. Matriarch Benezia was breeding Rachni, and it turned out she wasn't completely in control?"

"How did you know? It was really sad. That was Liara's mom, and she tried to kill us. Then the real her made it through, and she told Liara she loved her." Delilah sniffed. "I cried."

I bet you did, Jane thought, but didn't voice her opinion. "So, you're Commander Shepard?"

"Yes! I already told you that. Apparently, we share a name and rank! That's so cool!"

"I take it you don't understand what's going on," Jane said finally.

"What's going on?" Delilah asked, a bit confused.

Jane took a deep breath. "Two years ago, I saved the galaxy. I stopped Saren-"

"I don't like that guy."

Intense green eyes glared at nervous blue. "I stopped Saren from bringing an army of sentient starships- Reapers- to ravage the galaxy. Yesterday, I destroyed the Collectors' main base, ending the kidnapping of human colonies that had been going on since Sovereign was destroyed. Then I ended up here."

Delilah looked confused, so she added, "My chief scientist tells me that I've travelled back in time and into another universe due to a relay malfunction. He's rarely wrong."

"So... we're the same person?"

"Sort of. Alternate versions of each other, anyway."

Delilah paused in thought, then smiled. She motioned to the door. "There's something I want to show you."

As soon as they exited the room, a dazzling array of colours and the beats of electronic pop music assaulted the group. Punch and snacks sat on the mess table, and the crew was arrayed nervously around the room. Jane noticed that Tali and Garrus were among them, as were Ash, Kaidan, and Liara. Wrex was not.

"You have got to be-" Garrus- the scarred Garrus that Jane brought with her- began, but was cut off.

Delilah bounced with the music. "Party time! Come on, it'll be fun."

Jane's eyes widened in shock. "You have got to be kidding me! Saren is on his way to the Conduit as we speak and you're throwing a party!"

"Yeah, so? Nothing wrong with having a little fun!"

She threw her arms into the air and the volume of her voice climbed rapidly. "There is an imminent threat of galactic destruction, and you've been out shopping instead of doing your job!"

Delilah opened her mouth to say something, but Jane cut her off, poking her in her ample chest. "You are an affront to the human race, an embarrassment to the Alliance! You're an incompetent party girl, and you're the last person I'd want saving the galaxy."

Tears swam in Delilah's eyes. She managed, "Yeah, well, you're ugly!"

"I've had enough of this! I wouldn't trust you to park my aircar, let alone save the galaxy." With a scream of barely controlled rage, Jane smashed her fist into Delilah's face.

Someone screamed, and several glasses were dropped onto the floor. "Who is the 2IC?"

Navigator Pressly stepped forward. "I am, ma'am."

Jane motioned toward Delilah, who was kneeling on the floor with her gloved hands to her face. Blood dripped from between her fingers, and she wailed in pain. "Don't you think she's unfit for command?"

"Well, yes, I suppose," Pressly said awkwardly. Why was he even listening to this woman?

"On psychological grounds, of course. Anyone who goes shopping for clothes when Earth and her colonies are under threat must have a screw loose, don't you think?"

"Um, of course, ma'am," Pressly replied quietly.

"Doctor Chakwas, can you confirm that diagnosis?"

"Yes," the doctor replied, with a hint of irony- or was it just her accent? "The Commander has been showing signs of PTSD and mental and emotional instability."

"Well, then, do what you should have done ages ago."

Nervously, Pressly turned to Delilah. "As Executive Officer of the Normandy, I am relieving you of command, on psychological grounds. You are to be confined to quarters for the remaining duration of this voyage. Do you understand, ma'am?"

Commander Delilah Shepard nodded, then started bawling. "It's not fair! It's not fair!"

"Uh, Commander?" Joker informed from the cockpit, oblivious of the commotion below. "We've got a problem. Another ship just appeared, and it looks pretty damn familiar."

Jane motioned Pressly toward the stairs, and then followed him up towards the CIC. She caught a glimpse of Kaidan on the way, which sent a pang of guilt down her spine.

The CIC was just as familiar as the rest of the ship. The same galaxy map dominating the rear area, the same door with the same vigilantly saluting guard, the same tunnel-like gunnery section, the same cockpit.

"Lieutenant, report," Pressly ordered.

"Commander throw a hissy-fit again?" Joker quipped. "Look for yourself."

Looming several kilometers away from them was a third Normandy, this one also an SR-2 but in much better condition than the one Jane arrived on. It looked like it had come fresh from the shipyard, in fact.

Forgetting it was not her ship, Jane ordered, "Hail them."

Joker looked at Pressly, who nodded. "You're on."

Her voice was all business. "This is Commander Jane Shepard aboard the SSV Normandy SR-1. State your intentions."

The response was much more relaxed. "Hey, baby, John Shepard, Commander and Spectre. Wanna hook up some time?"

Jane groaned and pounded her head into a nearby console.