Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters you see in this story other than obvious original characters such as Adrienne Hale and any other OC's you may meet, as well as any original plots and story arcs.

This is a Jax/OC story if you couldn't guess by the summary or the name. I don't really have a timeline, per say, of when this happens just because everything that happened in the past just kinda forget... except for Donna dying, although she doesn't die the same as in the show and I WILL expand on this. This definitely takes place in the beginning of season 4 but I'll throw in a canon plot from any of the seasons to move the story along, I feel like that gives more to the element of surprise than saying this follows season 4 then 5 and so on and so forth. And let's just pretend that Abel is five in season 4. Kay? K.

Because this story is focused a lot on the build up on the Jax/OC relationship, it'll be a couple of minutes before the rating will change to 'M' because I really want to make sure I develop all of the characters properly... but it most definitely will change because this a Sons of Anarchy story for God's sake.

Thanks for reading let me know what you think!

Entering his home late Friday night, Jax Teller felt horrible about the fact that he'd left Neeta here so long without calling. Dropping his keys onto the hooks next to the door, a tired grin came over his face when Neeta came out of his little man's room.

"Sorry, Neeta," he apologized and reached into his pocket.

Neeta shook her head and waved her hand, heading toward where her purse sat on the couch. "It's fine, Jax. Abel's a doll to be around we wound up watching Finding Nemo a couple dozen times before he passed out."

"Still," he insisted and withdrew a fifty for her. "If I woulda known Tara wasn't back by now I would've called."

Putting her hand up and not taking the money, she shook her head again. "Please don't insult me by givin' me that," she told him looking at the money folded in his hand pointedly. "If I couldn't stay this late I would've called Gemma."

With a grin, Jax forcefully put the bill into her hand and closed it. "Humor me."

An exasperated look came over the young black woman's face before a resigned smile came over her face. "Well, let's not make it a habit huh?"

"Thanks, Neeta." Jax opened the door for Neeta. "I'll see ya Monday."

Neeta smiled and nodded before exiting, with Jax softly closing the door behind her. Nearly slumping against the door in exhaustion, Jax forced himself to walk to his bedroom and he began shrugging out of his kutte. Entering the room, he haphazardly threw his cut in the direction of the large dresser before throwing himself face first onto the large King sized bed.

Groaning at the soft coolness the comforter applied onto his face, Jax was tempted to fall asleep just like that. Until he felt his pre-pay vibrating non-stop in his pocket. He knew he should have shut the fucker off.

Turning his head, Jax kept his eyes closed as he answered. "What?"

"Bro, you need to get down to St. Thomas," his best friend said urgently. "I just saw something you're not gonna like."

Now sitting up in bed, Jax ran a hand through his short hair and could feel his heart pounding against his chest. "Is Tara okay?"

"She's fine," Opie answered and blew out an angry breath. "But I'm not doin' this over the phone. Just get your ass here now."

Abruptly hanging up, he quickly called his mother who was, no doubt, sleeping when he called.

"What's the matter?" Gemma answered on the second ring. "Everything okay?"

Jax sighed and walked over to where he had thrown his kutte. Holding the phone with one hand at a time while he put it back on, he answered, "I don't know but I need you to sit with Abel for a bit. Ope needs me for something." The last thing he was going to do was tell his mother where he was going. "Can you come over?"

He heard ruffling and he assumed she was getting out of bed. "Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Thanks Ma." He hung up the phone and shoved it back in his pocket before leaving the bedroom.

Looking down the hall at Abel's half-closed door, Jax strode over and opened it, wanting to check on his son. Abel was above the covers in the air conditioned room his pale blonde hair was messy from sleep and his little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle boxers were bunched up showing that he was tossing and turning.

Walking over to the A/C, Jax turned the fan down a little, noting how cold it was and his little guy wasn't even under the blankets. Like father like son. Pressing a kiss to Abel's sweet smelling hair, Jax turned off the television and plugged in his fish nightlight that cast a soft blue glow around the room. Leaving the door open a crack he knew the five-year-old liked, Jax entered the living room and just as he was taking his keys off the hook he heard the familiar sound of his mothers' Cadillac parking in his driveway.

Jax quickly walked out of the house and gave his mother a quick hug. "Thanks." He pulled back and looked at her sincerely. "I really appreciate this."

"Does this have anything to do with Tara?" Gemma asked him, and put her hands on her hips. Even in her sleep attire of silk pajamas with a sweater thrown over the top, she still looked like a tyrant.

Jax closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them. "Ma, please don't start this. We just got out a few months ago, it's gonna take some time for her to adjust."

Gemma rolled her eyes at her sons' naivety. "Some time my ass. She was a mother to that boy his whole life and now she's having doubts?"

"Doubts?" Jax asked with a frown. Ever since Jax had been released from his 14-month prison stint, Tara had been distant but he attributed that to the fact that he was out of her life for over a year. He'd done what any other old man would have done and gave his old lady some much needed space. "The hell are you talkin' about?"

A look of utter shock and, surprisingly, guilt came over Gemma's face as her eyes widened slightly. "She didn't tell you anything?"

"Tell me what?" Jax asked, more like yelled the question.

"Nothing really," Gemma strove for an air of ease. "All I know is that she received a job offer from a hospital in Oregon."

He raised his eyebrows inquisitively. "She turned it down right?"

Gemma opened and closed her mouth for a moment before sighing. "I don't know Jax. I only found out because that bitch Margaret at the hospital let it slip. Whenever I tried asking Tara about it she kept shutting me down," she said with a bitter tone.

Shaking his head, Jax ran a hand down his growing goatee. Jesus, one thing after another right now. "Alright." Jax began heading toward his bike and angrily swung his leg over.

Gemma watched with a concerned look on her face as her son tore out of his driveway and started for St. Thomas. Walking into the house that held her sleeping grandson, the older woman shook her head with a smirk on her face as she let herself in.

While Jax was in prison, Tara had been a great mom to Abel but not so great of an old lady. Gemma practically had to fight with the young woman to see her grandson, much less would Tara let him play with his Uncle Opie and the other kids. Gemma had found all of this suspicious and she should have, and would've, told her son if not for Opie telling her it would only push him farther away and to leave.

Gemma wouldn't be sad to see the bitch leave Charming for good.

/

Sitting in the chapel of the hospital, Tara sighed and looked at the glowing candles feeling her eyes wet. She was such an emotional mess this past year and it seemed like she'd never get her sanity back, at least not here.

"Hey," a smooth voice said and the brunette turned around and found herself looking into familiar blue eyes. "How're you doing?"

Tara sighed and turned around, quickly wiping underneath her eyes. "I don't know," she answered and leaned her head on his shoulder when he sat down next to her. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do here, David."

David Hale wrapped his arm around the woman comfortingly and place a kiss on the top of her head. "Tell me what to do to help you," he replied intensely. "I don't want you to do something because you feel like you have to."

Tara sighed but didn't move her head from her friend's shoulder. She didn't know what she would've done without David these last few months. He'd been an ear to listen and a friend when needed. "I want to do it," she said quietly but with conviction. "I've been speaking to Jax about leaving with Abel ever since he came back but I don't see that happening. Especially with him and Clay now getting along."

That had been the biggest shock to her. Clay had always been hard on Jax and just when Jax and the other sons were going to prison, Tara thought for sure that when he got out that's when they would get out.

Months later and here they are. Still in Charming.

"Ever since you came back five years ago, I didn't want you here," David told her softly. "You left, you went to Chicago, and you made a new life for yourself. I was so relieved that you were gone. I was so happy for you, knowing that you wouldn't be sucked back in to SAMCRO's black hole."

"But I came back," she whispered.

A bitter smile slowly made its way onto David's face and he nodded. "But you came back. I understand why you did, but I wish you would've left as soon as everything was said and undone."

Tara closed her eyes at the thought of Kohn and the knowledge that David had known what happened to him. "I can't say I'm glad I didn't come back." A small smile came over her face as she thought about the little boy who now called her 'Mommy'.

"Abel isn't yours, Tara," David told her contritely. "I understand you helped save his life but you don't owe the Teller's anything, if anything, it's the other way around. That little boy will always be grateful that you were there but you shouldn't have to stay here out of obligation."

Tara didn't say anything because she didn't know what to say. Everything David was telling her wasn't news to her. She'd been thinking the same thing to herself over the last few years. She'd fooled herself in the beginning, thinking that Jax actually did care more about her than the club, but every time push came to shove Jax was never there for her a hundred percent.

"Do you even still love him?"

That was a loaded question. The teenager in her was still in love with the Jax Teller she knew back then but the woman in her had been questioning what she felt for the outlaw biker. "I don't know," she admitted brokenly. "I just, I don't know what to do."

He took her face in his hands and looking into her eyes earnestly. "If you can't give a solid answer to that question. You know you need to get out of here." His somber blue eyes narrowed. "I don't wanna get a call saying they found your body somewhere."

A tear made its way down her face before she could stop it because that was her biggest fear. She was terrified of getting caught in the crossfire.

"Aren't we cozy?" Jax's drawl seemed to echo through the chapel and Tara immediately stood up, shakily wiping away the tear. "Oh, don't get up on account of me."

Tara felt herself shiver under the rage Jax seemed to be projecting to her and his nostrils flared with familiar anger. "Jax, wait."

"No, no." Jax crossed his arms over his chest and moved his gaze to David Hale. "Wanna explain to me what you were doing with my old lady, Hale?"

David stood up, not looking the least bit intimidated by the blonde biker who could kill him and hide the evidence in a million and one places. "I wouldn't need to do anything if you actually took care of your shit, Teller."

"You really wanna go down this road with me?"

Putting her hand against David's chest, Tara looked at him beseechingly. "Please, let me talk to him."

After long tense moments, David broke his stare down with Jax and nodded. He looked down at Tara with raised brows. "I'm not leaving. If you need anything just yell for me." He glared at Jax and added, "I won't be far."

Jax turned his head and watched as the cop walk out of the room before looking back at Tara, an intense frown on his face.

"I don't know where to start," she started quietly, folding her arms in her doctor's coat.

A bitter laugh rumbled from Jax's throat. "The beginning is a good fuckin' place. How about the fact that I find out from my mother about this new job in Oregon? How about Ope callin' me and tellin' me Captain America is here talkin' to you? How about you and Hale gettin' awful fuckin' cozy in here?" He raised his brows and took a step forward down the aisle, still a few rows away from where Tara stood in the front. "I'm all ears, darlin'."

Closing her eyes, Tara released a shaky breath before opening them again. "If you're thinking I'm with Hale you're wrong," Tara began, her voice shaky. "I've never cheated on you."

Jax gave a mock sigh of relief. "Well, thank fuckin' God. 'Cause that's what I was worried about." Giving her a penetrating look and he scowled. "Why not start with what you and numb nuts were talking about? Or about this new job that you turned down?" She squirmed under his gaze and he raised a brow. "You did turn it down, didn't you?"

Tara slowly shook her head and she felt her eyes burn when he scoffed and threw his head back in exasperation. "Jax, listen to me," she started, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I've loved you since I was eighteen. I loved you when I left for Chicago and I loved you while I was in Chicago. When I came back I had conjured up this delusional life we could have, you, Abel, and me."

"And what?" Jax asked condescendingly. "I didn't live up to your expectations?"

"Don't say that," Tara responded softly. "I just... I had a vision of how our lives were going to go. You told me you were gonna get out."

Jax looked at her intently, faint guilt resonating in his icy eyes. "I'm working on it. It's not an overnight thing, Tara. This shit takes time."

"You've been telling me this even before you went to prison." Tara shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "I just, I can't keep getting my hopes up only for more empty promises, Jax."

Jax's face relaxed and was suddenly filled with knowing anguish. "I love you, Tara," he proclaimed convincingly. "When I asked you to marry me last month, I meant it. You turned me down and I don't know what to do to fix this."

"I know," Tara admitted. "And it hurt me to say no, just as much as it hurt you. I just can't see promising myself to marry you when you can't even promise me a future with you in it. Here. Not back in prison and I have to see you in Stockton again. I can't do that again, Jackson. I won't."

Jax re-crossed his arms, his kutte moving with the movements and Tara eyed it as if it were the problem. "So what're you sayin' then?"

Taking a deep breath, Tara steeled herself and straightened. "I'm saying, I'm taking the job in Oregon and I'm moving, Jax," she shook her head regretfully. "This life, it's not me. It never was."

"And Abel?" Jax asked after a moment of silence. His stare boring into her. "What about him?"

Leaving Abel would break her heart, but she needed to leave and Tara was under no illusions Gemma or Jax would let her take Abel with her. "I love that little boy, Jax. Don't even question that. But I'm not his real mom and anything that I've done with Abel over the last year was constantly being undermined by Gemma," she admitted. "I wanna say good-bye to him properly."

A humorless laugh came from Jax and he looked at her in disbelief. "You're leaving me and you made me all sorts of promises a year ago. You became a mother to my son, a figure he now depends on, and just because shit gets tough, you're leaving."

"Don't make me sound like a coward," Tara replied heatedly.

"But that's you," Jax said and looked at her emphatically. "Whenever things don't go your way, you're out. That's the way it was with us when we were teens and you're pulling the same shit now." Jax sighed and suddenly looked tired. "You know what? I don't give a shit. You wanna leave? Fine. I'll get all of your shit out of the house tonight and after this I don't want you stepping a foot back in Charming."

Tara felt herself stiffen at the unvoiced threat.

"You are not seeing Abel before you leave and he sure as shit won't be there to wave you off," Jax told her harshly. "You may have taken care of my son while I was locked up but I'll be damned if he's gonna be acting like a runaway like you."

Without another word, Jax stormed out of the chapel leaving a teary-eyed and visibly upset Tara behind.

/

Smoking a cigarette on his bike, Jax sat outside with his best friend. He was determined to calm down before going home. He'd be cold and dead before he allowed his emotions to get the better of him in his house where his son was.

"You okay?" Opie asked him, leaning on the handle bars of his own bike.

Jax chuckled and shook his head, exhaling the smoke in his mouth harshly. "I haven't been okay since I got out, Ope," he confessed. "She's had me on a fuckin' roller coaster. I think I saw this comin' but I just didn't wanna admit it."

Opie lit his own cigarette and brought the stick to his mouth. "Gemma knew something wasn't right with her about six months in," Opie told him. "It started happening when Lyla and I threw Ellie her seventh birthday party. We thought Abel would be excited to go to it, but Tara told us she they wouldn't be coming."

Jax frowned at him and threw the butt of his cigarette away. "Why the fuck didn't anybody say anything?"

Opie looked at him as if he were stupid. "Jax, you're my brother and I love you, but there were times your head was so far up Tara's ass you wouldn't listen to anybody, even me. So I told Gemma not to say anything, she'd only piss you off. I'm surprised she listened, but that was probably 'cause she was worried she wouldn't see Abel."

Jax's eyes narrowed at Opie's statement, but couldn't deny it. In his eyes, Tara could have done no wrong and he still would have chosen her over everything. But if it involved his son, Jax wanted to know every detail of Abel's life.

"Besides, I was kind of getting the vibe something like this was gonna happen," Opie said, taking a large pull from his cigarette. "I just didn't want this to turn into another 'he said, she said' thing."

"I'm just worried about Abel," Jax confided after a moment. "She's been his mom since he was in the toaster and tomorrow morning he's gonna wake up and she's not gonna be there."

Opie patted Jax on the back sympathetically. "It's not the same, but I've been there. Ellie and Kenny went through the same shit when Donna died," he stated, his voice gruff at the thought of his deceased wife. "But I will be there for you and Abel will be okay."

Hitting the hand on his shoulder appreciatively, Jax looked at him and said, "Thanks, Ope."

/

"So she's leaving?" Gemma asked Jax when he returned home and relayed what had happened. "For good?"

Jax looked at his mother and noticed she tried to looked neutral, for his sake, but he could see the relieved smile threatening to take over her face. "Yeah," he confirmed and began folding up the large cardboard boxes he had taken from the clubhouse on his way home.

"So you're packing her shit up?"

Jax looked at his mother with a droll expression and asked, "What does it look like I'm doin'?"

Gemma smirked at her son and ran a hand through his spiky hair. "Don't be an asshole," she responded in a dry voice. "Need any help?"

"Not with this," Jax replied and turned around on the couch so he could looked at his mother. "Can you take Abel to your house tonight? I don't wanna wake him up moving stuff or him here in the morning when she comes and gets this shit."

Tara Knowles is finally out of the picture, Gemma thought giddily while keeping her poker face. Ding dong, the bitch is good as gone.

"Sure, baby." Gemma stepped away from the couch and started walking toward her grandsons' bedroom. "Are you gonna pick him up tomorrow?"

Jax nodded and turned back around to finish taping up the folded boxes. "Yeah, I'll come over and get my little guy after she's done here."

Just before Gemma began her way to Abel's door, she turned back around and looked at her son angrily folding the boxes. "I'm proud of you, baby," she told him honestly. "I know it couldn't have been easy to let her go, but I'm glad you did."

"I knew you, of all people, would be happy about this."

Gemma smirked and crossed her arms. "Can't say I'm not upset about the bitch leaving, but," she said louder when she saw he was about to cut her off. "I'm happier about the fact that you're not torn about the club anymore. You know what they say about men being half-in and half-out."

He thought about the last person he said that too. Donna Winston. He winced at the image of her demolished car that flashed into his head before he could stop it.

"Yeah," he muttered and turned back to the boxes.

/

Jax stayed awake all night packing up Tara's things. The OCD genes he always made fun of his mother for having seemed to have just kicked in that night. He tore through room after room, ridding Tara's presence from his home. He was working on autopilot taping up box after box and putting each box on top of one another near the door.

He had just finished getting rid all of her toiletries when the doorbell rang. Jax's hands were shaking as he walked over to the door and opened it.

Tara stood on the other side of the door in her jeans and t-shirt, she looked like she was ready for a long drive. "Here." She held out her hand that held her key on it.

Jax took it and threw it on the stand next to the door. "Here's your shit," he said and picked up a box. "It's all packed for you and you just gotta load it up."

Tara stood on her tip toes and looked over his shoulder with a nervous frown before standing normally and met his eyes. "Abel's not here?" she asked, sadness in her voice. She knew Jax said he wouldn't be here but... she'd hoped.

"No." Jax walked past her holding the box and walked to where she parked the Cutlass next to his bike. Like she had a hundred times. "Is it open?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, picking up a box herself and following his route.

They did this five more times before her car was packed and Jax shut her door before staring down at her. Tara looked horribly uncomfortable and brushed her hair behind her ear numerous times.

"I don't know what to say," she admitted softly.

"You said everything you needed to say last night." Jax crossed his arms and furrowed his brow. "I do want you to say you're never going to set a foot back in Charming."

Tara's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "Jax…"

"I'm not kidding," Jax responded coldly. "If I have to tell Abel that you're gone, I don't want him seeing you or hearing about you," his eyes hardened. "If I already have to hurt my son by telling him you're leaving, I will. I will not hurt him more by making him see you and knowing you couldn't look past all the bullshit and be there for him. After this you are dead to us."

Tara sighed and looked at him before reluctantly nodding and bit her trembling lip. "Okay," she said quietly and walked around the other side to slip into the driver's seat.

Watching as the woman he had spent the better part of fifteen years vying and praying for, Jax could admit to himself that it hurt as she pulled out of her parking space and drove away from him. Turning away, Jax didn't feel exhausted as he walked back into his house. As much as it hurt with Tara leaving him, that's how free he felt at the same time.

Taking his kutte and his keys, he strode toward his bike and saddled up, wanting to see his son.