For The Sake of More-Sasuke-In-Drag
Authors : NeonWorld & Flayne
Warning: Utterly, totally (crack) for amusement only. And one hella abuse of cursive writing.
Hell yeah!
Pairing: NaruSasu with femme!Sasuke (cuz we need as the title says: more sasuke in drag.)
Disclaimer: ….how can you disclaim, when you never actually 'claimed'? =.=
AN: Please, don't take this seriously. This is some product evolved from alcolhol (or lack thereof), lack of sleep and 14hours time-difference between NeonWorld and me. Oh and Sasuke looking like a girl (especially if you hide the duckbutt, check out chap 5). XD
I apologize for bad writing (mostly on my part), OOCness, too much leering Sasuke, and the smut, yet to come.
Comments are welcome. Flames…mhm. Why would you want to flame? (Those who would should be put off by the warnings above by now. So, don't waste precious server capacities! )
=3
Summary: After obtaining new eyes Sasuke and Team Hawk try to break into the Uchiha district to get more information on it. But plans are not always successful, at least not in the way they're supposed to be.
Set after The Uchihacest-tragedy….eh…the battle after Sasuke and Itachi I mean.
----------------------- Outside of Konoha village ---------------------------------
Sasuke looked around at the other three segments of his ragtag team. They'd been debating over the matter at hand for the last ten minutes, wondering how exactly how they could -- or if they even should, for that matter -- sneak into Konoha to retrieve a set of Sasuke's family scrolls. His new sharingan that he'd obtained after Itachi's death was something he'd never seen before, and he wanted to know if it was written down in the history of the Uchiha clan.
"Look, you three can stay at the bath houses for all I care, and I'll come get you later. No one here knows who you are." Frowning, he added an exasperated thought, "Do not tell me this arguing crap is because you don't think I can disguise myself from the people here?"
Juugo looked to the side, a bit ashamed by Sasuke's accusing words. He would never doubt their leaders abilities, but with a glance at the other two, they obviously did.
:
Adjusting her glasses, Karin pursed her lips. "Sasuke-kun, there's a reason why henge is not used exclusively on things like this! If some fool runs into you, the illusion will pop like a balloon. And if you dodge, people will definately wonder."
Sasuke frowned, staring at the gates of Konoha, which were just visible from the trees that concealed them. "I do know of one physical metamorphisis jutsu..."
Suigetsu quirked an eyebrow and sceptism was evident in his voice: "So you sure you can pull this off huh? How you wanna disguise those little pretty features of yours? Don't tell me you're-" He didn't finish his sentence as he looked shocked for a moment before his lips quirked into a smirk.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he snapped his gaze to Suigetsu. "That I'm what? The only thing that I'm doing is disguising myself." Annoyed, but realizing that he didn't really have another option, Sasuke sighed and formed the seals that he'd accidentally watched Naruto preform years ago. Unfortunately, they'd stuck in his mind, as he'd had his sharingan in use at the time. But, this time, if it helped, then maybe he could forgive the disgracefulness of it.
At least he remembered to put clothes on his new form, he thought grimly as the smoke wafted away.
And by the reactions he received he decided it was a good, wait very good decision.
Karin gasped, Juugo's eyes widened and Suigetsu's jaw hit the floor. They obviously couldn't believe what they saw. Well, they obviously were never teamed up with Naruto.
Sasuke sighed.
Even though he had thought something along this line, but Suigetsu hadn't expected this!
Where the HELL did he learn THAT??!!
Karin choked a little. "That... this is... er..."
Sasuke, unable to tell what he looked like in this dark, and obviously being unable to see his own face, crinkled his nose at their reactions. "Oh, grow up, it's a disguise for godsakes." She swung her head around, glancing towards the gates, checking for guards. A long piece of coal-black hair stuck to her angrily pouting lips, and with an annoyed sound, she flicked it away with a stroke of her hand. Obviously trying to ignore anything pertaining to this disguise, Sasuke looked 'round at her team with large, doeful eyes, pigtails swinging behind her, tied at the base of her skull. "Are we going, or having an idiotic gawking contest?" She snarled, though it came of more like a cutely irate huff.
Karin couldn't hold herself back any longer and made the motion to hug Sasuke, or eh, 'Sassy' senseless with a squeack, so it startled her to see her leader already wraped in big arms… nearly choked to death. With a annoyed snarl she saw that Juugo beat her to it.
"Couldn't you have made your tits a bit bigger? They're TINY!"
Oh that was Suigetsu alright, always the idiotic insensitive bastard.
"You don't define a lady by the size of her breasts, you pervert moron!"
"well, even if our leader has small breasts, YOU have practically NONE! you flatchest women!"
Sasuke flailed uselessly in Juugo's hold, glaring at Suigetsu, more for the immature response than for the slight at his disguise. "At least when I turn back to normal, I don't have to worry about things being too small! God-- damnit-- why is everything so difficult with you people?!"
"Ha! I'll show you 'small' right here and now!" The next immature replied surfaced, and Sasuke couldn't help but ...sigh again.
"Alright!" Sasuke's voice raised, her fine eyebrows creasing into a concerned pout that was supposed to be menacing. "Enough! Everyone, keep your clothes on, any 'size' insults issued from here on are just an excuse for a time-wasting orgy. So, Suigetsu, stop telling Karin that she's got tiny boobs, Karin, quit caring that he says that, and Juugo, let me the hell go so I can get those stupid scrolls and get out of this stupid body!"
"Yes Master, eh, I mean Mistress" Juugo scratched his head with a small nervous chuckle.
Suigetsu looked away with a 'Whatever' and shrugged his shoulders, now not in the mood to annoy his leader anymore.
Well, I don't Really care for big or small ones, if I just get to fuck him, er her sometime in that body that is. Suigetsu smirked, and followed.
Sasuke dusted herself off, gave each one of them a final, hard look, and then tromped off through the underbrush, motioning for them to follow. She hadn't been too creative with the clothing change; using a simple woman's yukata as a template. But the thing was just loose enough to not close modestly, probably due to Sasuke being used to the larger version in his mind. She swore softly when she scratched her long, pale legs on some brambles, a little off put by the way this body functioned. It would take a tiny bit of concentration to look authentic.
Karin, walking beside Suigetsu, gave him a pointed look that matched his feral grin. "I know what you're thinking, and I won't let you, you perv."
The tall blond man was startled for a second by Karin's statement and opened his mouth to ask What Suigetsu's been thinking about, when Sasuke turned towards him with a deadly glare. Juugo shrank back a little, though in the backest of his mind he wanted to fangirl like Karin, because the glare, though threatning, was still...very cute.
Like a little rabbit. Or something. Defending his/her honor.
So he kept his mouth shut the rest of the walk
As they walked deeper into Konoha, having passed the gates easily as visitors, Sasuke turned to look at the others. "Are you three coming with me or going elsewhere? I'll go myself, but don't cause any trouble when I'm gone. I'm not a baby sitter."
Karin nervously shrugged. She knew that Sasuke was irate enough, and probably wanted to be alone. That didn't stop her from wanting to come, though, just to... to... hm... beat off the perverts! Yeah!
"Are you kidding Sassy-chan? Who else's gonna defend you from all those perverts that wanna kidnap and rape you?" At this Suigetsu got a REALLY menacing glare, but his only reaction was a shrug. "You know very well that you cannot use your kinky red eyes, that'll so totally blow your cover," his voice turned into a seductive whisper, well semi at least, "even though I wouldn't mind you blowing mine..."
Sasuke's fist twitched, the fine bones in her hand standing out under her skin. It took a lot of reminding that this was under cover work for her to not rip Suigetsu's head clean off. "Consider yourself castrated when this is over," she snarled, though with a cheery smile to elude passerby. Which was, perhaps, creepier than the actual threat.
"I think you should at least go with one of us, if not everyone." Every glanced up at Juugo, as he continued with his deep voice, not intending to seduce, unlike other ones, "Suigetsu can be right, you will be defenseless against strong Shinobis in your current state without the Sharingan. There sould be someone to protect you."
Though, he too did flinched at the creepy smile.
Karin, feeling backed up, nodded as well. "It'd be lame to sit back while you had all the fun, anyway! The Uchiha place is probably crawling with gross things that you won't want to touch!"
Sasuke positively snarled. "I am not a twig!" She flailed a slender arm, which completely proved her incorrect. "I can still fight, even without sharingan!"
"Oh yeah, right" The water shinobi snarled dismissivly. "You only look like one,and now stop bitching, princess. We're coming with you and that's it!" He grabbed Sasuke's arm and pulled him forward, suddenly all fear of being castrated wiped from his mind.
Sasuke couldn't technically hit him, but she still aimed a good hard slap to his cheek. Growling, she spat out, "fine, come with me then. But don't do something stupid like carrying me. I'm not going to snap in two, goddamnit." But it seemed like she had to snap his precious teammates into two if they continue with this shit.
And it didn't help that Suigetsu was growing bolder everytime when touching Sasuke.
Said white (blue?) haired man's lips pulled up "Hai, Hime-sama" and they, finally, made their way to the Uchiha district.
Sasuke led the way into the district, frowning as they turned onto the deserted main road. Memories invaded, like he'd never left the place, and she navigated their path to his old house, identical as the others. Her slight hips swung a little with every step, barely clothed by the immodestly short yukata. "Should be in the floor mats in the room at the end of the hall," she whispered, peering cautiously around the corner. Who knew if there was actually someone else in here?
Juugo couldn't help but let his eyes drift to the behind of their ...Mistress. The yukata that hung over her bottom was incredibly barely covered everything. But his leader didn't seem to notice, unlike someone who has been staring intensivly for the entire way…and a bit more.
He didn't have to mention that Suigetsu's been praticially leering at Sasuke like some old pedophile snake pervert. Oh wait, that rose some unwanted memories.
Maybe they inherited more from Orochimaru then they originally thought of?
He shuddered at the thought.
Then he noticed the reason WHY Sasuke hadn't ripped Suigetsu's tongue out yet. His leader was very focused on something, like he's desperately trying to make out some sound that Juugo couldn't hear.
Then it hit him. An enemy must be nerby.
So soon, huh?
Only a few seconds after the thoughts passed Juugo's mind. The 'enemy' already appeared, in form of a dark haired boy with eerie white eyes.
The boy must have been Sasuke's age as he survised his statue. The way he appeared from behind the grand mansion's door was silent and graceful. Somehow Juugo got the feeling something's familiar about the boy...
Sasuke stiffened quite obviously, half because she was acting. Halting as soon as Neji had stepped into their path, she swallowed what was left of her pride and dove into the role. She was NOT going to blow cover. "O-oh! Guess it wasn't deserted like those people said, huh, guys?" She took half a step back, mentally gagging as she submitted a little to Neji's presense.
The Hyuuga boy merely frowned intensely, taking in each of the four. "You've no business here; leave."
"Che! Then pretty boy, pray tell, what are YOU doing here?" Suigetsu took a dangerous step forward, hand on his sword behind his back, before Karin noticed what was going on and quickly stepped in front of him. She put her hand against his chest to slightly push him back and smiled one of her most prized cute-girl-ashamed smiles,
"We only decided to check it out cuz rumor said that it's all deserted and haunted here! Thought that maybe we could have some fun and catch some ghost~!"
But the glare he received from the white eyes made her smile falter somewhat.
"Seems like we caught some handsome boy instead!" Now her leering grin returned full force on the Hyuuga boy.
For the first time in history, Sasuke was glad that Karin was there. She, at least, understood acting, even if she was overplaying it a little. "Yes... no reason to start a fight," she started at Suigetsu, hoping it would drill through his thick skull.
Neji remained unmoved by Karin's flirting, which Sasuke had indeed expected of him. "My being here isn't even any of your business; but just know that I am here on the Hokage's orders. Which," he sneered slightly, "is more than you can say, I'm sure. Now get out before I lose my temper with you."
Sasuke was sure that they could defeat Neji and take what they needed, but not without raising a godawful noise from the battle. It wasn't worth the risk. But, still, they needed that scroll...she needed it.
Choking down the last remnants of pride that she still clung to, Sasuke took a step forward, being sure to leave one long leg in front of the other. Then another step, staring up at Neji coyly. She had no idea what she looked like in this form, but if it was enough to make the quiet Juugo hug her like that... well, maybe this was worth a shot. "But..." she tried to make her voice sound shy; an emotion she'd almost never used before, "we're just visitors here... some of the townsfolk told us about this... the Uchiha clan." She wasn't stupid enough to reach out and touch him yet, but she leaned against the wall, blocking his immediate sight. If she could keep that Byakyugan at bay, they were clear. "Well, the story... it gave me shivers" She motioned behind her back for Juugo, the quietest, to sneak on ahead.
A little put off at first by the shy act of his leader, Juugo quickly regained his stance as he saw Sasuke hinting to him to sneak ahead. He wondered briefly why Sasuke was already standing so Close to the other boy and then realized that he must be blocking his view. So he took one slow step back and vanished into the shadows. Hoping to get his hands on the scrolls that Sasuke wanted.
Meanwhile the light blue (It's the light I tell you) haired crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance, trying to hide the how disturbed he really was by that...that coy act of his nightly NC-17 fantasies.
She knew from the beginning that she'd need a little more than charm to keep Neji occupied, so she turned her head towards the shadows, masking her sharingan. So long as she didn't stand in the light, where it could reflect off of her red eyes, it would be okay. Using a very, very slight type of hypnosis, Sasuke kept Neji's eyes on hers, continuing to speak, wringing her hands. "I mean... how tragic it must have been for this village... Really, we just wanted to pay our respects..."God she hoped that Juugo would hurry up before any more crap came out of her mouth.
He passed the group through the shadows, carefully observing the long haired boy for any evidence that he might notice Juugo. Just when he finally arrived at the mansion's back entrance he heard something quite not planned...
A cloud moved, casting a shaft of moonlight into the room. Sasuke noticed a second too late, the bright flash of her bloody irises. Deactivating the sharingan quickly, but knowing that Neji had noticed something, she winced as Neji growled and pushed her against the wall. Then Sasuke actually cried out, and was shocked at how little it took to cause pain to this body. She snapped her gaze to Karin and Suigetsu, fearful that they might attack Neji. "Go, get out of here! Run!" It sounded a lot like she just didn't want her friends getting in trouble with Konoha for 'ghost hunting', instead of telling them to back off an attack.
Not having fully comprehended the situation yet, Suigetsu was grabbed by Juugo and he heard Karin cry out beside him. She too had been grabbed by Juugo and they're being dragged away from the Uchiha compound at a very fast pace.
"What do you think you're doing?" He growled at Juugo, seeing that Karin was just as furious as he was. What was the point in them running away without Sasuke, when they came here to protect him??!
Without a change in expression, Juugo stood up to his full height and explained, like puppet teacher scolding his students " That was the only way to keep our cover from being blown."
Relieved at Juugo's swift response, Sasuke struggled underneath Neji's weight, fruitless in her attempts. Neji, it seemed, was tolerant of letting the others go, simply to investigate the suspicion of that red flash in her eyes. Without a word, Neji dragged her outside, steering her to walk out of the Uchiha complex and towards the Hokage tower, her wriggling uselessly the entire way, swearing under her breath. At least they'd gotten away. They'd come back for her.... they would. If not only so Suigetsu could lust some more.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So great, mister All-knowing! Now please tell me how we're going to get our princess back? Screaming bloody murder at anyone if they've seen Sasuke in drag??! Or just slaughter the entire village..." Suigetsu cocked his head sarcastically. Juugo however, stood motionless, "We're going to find the scrolls first. And then we will somehow go and rescue Sasuke." he nodded to the Hokage tower, "He might be not far from there".
Until then, I hope you take care of yourself, Sasuke.
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Neji, much to Sasuke's chagrin, was not gentle. She was sure that these stupid flimsy arms of hers were bruised from his grip, and though she tried to walk with her chin up, she was shoved, stumbling, into the office of the Hokage. Tsunade, he knew. She opted to stumble, to fall to her knees on purpose, keeping her head low. She didn't want to seem arrogant, or give them reason to suspect. Neji and Tsunade shared a few whispered words that she only caught snippets of. One that did stand out, was when Tsunade spoke.
"We should have Naruto come."
Of course, they would. Anyone who suspected Uchiha Sasuke of hiding himself would bring Naruto in to root him out. He'd be able to tell if she was Sasuke. That is, if he could read behind her acting.
Neji had apparently nodded, because there was no protest. Sasuke kept her head lowered, closing her eyes. It was only when the other two left did she sit up and pull herself to a wobbly stand. Wondering if she could just run for it, but deciding it would simply reveal that she was Sasuke, and thus leave them a fresh lead to follow, she took a seat gingerly in a chair, curling her legs up to her chin.
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Naruto didn't except to be woken up like this. No, he didn't even except to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon! He was no grannie for goddamn sake! But that dream had been so nice....
But as reality is often a bitch as he was interrupted in the middle of...! the best part of the dream by some unknown Hokage messenger who was banging on his door. Shouting to him to get to the Hokage's tower at this very moment.
Well, pain in the ass you could say. What does that Baba want anyway?
"Stop banging already, I'm coming! " As he made his way to his door he grabbed some random pants of the floor and a black t-shirt. He put them on and opened the door...only to find it deserted.
"Geez, stupid impolite monkeys..."
Well, then a trip to the Hokage tower it should be! He didn't have anything to do anyway, since it was his break, finally, and well earned, he might add, from the torturing lessons of the Frogs.
So he dashed to the Hokage tower, never ever excepting what might await him there.
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Sasuke sat alone in the room for over a quarter of an hour, unmoving, her forehead pressed against her bare knees. What was taking Juugo and the others so long? What was taking Naruto so long? How the hell was she supposed to get out of this without showing herself as who she really was?
She shook her head. This wasn't impossible.
She was Uchiha Sasuke after all.
Not even bothering to knock the blonde stormed into the Hokage's office with a "What the hell, Babaa! What is it this tim-" and stopped as he spotted the dark haired figure in one corner of the room.
"Huh?"
Not taking into account that his eyes grew big, and his various other body parts, like his …head, and that his brain in comparison became tiny he decided he didn't know why, but a slight shiver ran down his spine as he looked at her, her features, her body build, and her eyes. The first thought that crossed his mind was how familiar she looked. The second was that this girl was beautiful. Like REALLY beautiful. And hot.
He knew he was staring, but he couldn't help it.
Her head snapped up, and she stood quickly to face Naruto, noticing after a moment that she should pull down her yukata a bit. "You're... Naruto, then, right?" It was going to take a lot of effort to pull this off, but it was much better than Naruto finding out the truth. Instead of having her scowl softened to a pout, she actually tried for a scared, anxious look, figuring she may as well lay it on thick.
"Wha-, ah yes, I am!" Quickly regaining his pose he looked at the girl with a big nervous trademark uzumaki smile, noticing how...short her yukata was.
"So...who are you? What are you doing here?" He inquired, trying to ease the tension a bit that threatend to surround them, especially with the girl's shy and carefull behavior. So unlike Sasuke, almost like Hinata...
"I... well... some friends and I... we're visiting Konoha..." she quietly assessed Naruto's expression when he wasn't looking at her eyes. "We went down to the Uchiha place... you know? To see if we could pay our respects." Curious about a reaction, she turned slightly to the side, half-exposing the bare curve of one of her breasts from underneath the loose yukata. "We got caught, but I didn't know we weren't allowed to be there..." She watched his face carefully.
Well, that's a they actually went to Uchiha compound to pay some respect...are they related or something? Because she sure looks a hell lot like Sasuke-
Naruto's thoughts but were interrupted as his gaze wandered away from her eyes onto her naked delicate breasts.
Wait. Did he just say 'naked'??!
As he realized this his head felt like a huge tomato ready to burst, well, he certainly looked that way. He didn't even hear what she said next...
The next thought he had was somewhere along the lines of 'oh my God, i'm turning more and more into that ero-sennin' and 'wow, what must it feel like to have this gorgeous babe in my bed'.
Sasuke, doing his best to hide away a smirk, took a few steps towards Naruto, her long, low-tied pigtails swinging behind her. "I'm sorry if I offended anyone, really..." She didn't have much of a problem with putting this body on display, because it wasn't [i]really[/i] her body. If it got them out of Konoha undetected, then she'd even allow a grope or two. "Please, Naruto-kun? I just want to go home."
Naruto swallowed. Quite audibly.
hat was that girl thinking having only that poor-excuse-for-a-yukata, which is actually not much more than just some scarce cloth wrapped, not even properly(!), around her body! Is the male population not worth anything in her eyes!?
He looked to the side and tried not to stammer, where the hell was the Baba when you finally need her??!
"W- Well, you see..."
She just looked so cute, and innocent and if she's telling the truth, then she didn't do anything wrong either....did she?
But she was here now, and that's gotta mean something too, right?
He really should have known better. He really did. His mind was screaming at him to stop this nonsense, to be rational. But his heart knew better. Kind of. Well, not really. But yeah.
What made him say the thing he said next is still an engima to him, even today. He didn't even know the girl! He didn't even know her Name! The Hokage haven't said anything to him yet...but still.
"Wanna come with me then?"
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…..Don't kill me.
