Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, except for the occasional OCs. The cover image also doesn't belong to me. It came up from a Google Search - if the creator wishes it, it will be taken down.
Pairings: There might be slash somewhere down the chapters, but it won't be very crucial to the plot. Probably.
Notes: A what-if AU where Rin dies at Kannabi instead of Obito. Obito has terrible terrible coping mechanisms. As expected of all Uchiha.
Chapter One: An Empty Heart
The Kannabi Bridge mission was a success.
A success, except they returned one member short. But casualties are a common thing in times of war, and everyone has lost at least one person close to their hearts. All memorial services are to be held after the war. Now is not the time for grief.
For now, the most important goal of the people is to ensure Konoha's victory. Iwa's supply route is mostly blocked without Kannabi Bridge, so she can afford to ease up, just a little. But there's still a long way to go until the war ends.
They are dismissed with tired nods and pats on the back. It's hard to say if it's a good thing no one shows any sympathy, be it real or made up.
x
For the first time in nearly eight years, Uchiha Obito is led into the grandest building on the Uchiha district – the Main Compound. It is home to the Clan Head, the Head's family, and some of the Elders. Obito knows because he was raised in this building by an Uchiha Elder until the age of five. Then they kicked him out, relocating him to a small house at the edges of the Uchiha district.
He was abandoned because of his incompetence; a few days later he met Rin.
Now he comes back from the mission without Rin, sporting a set of well-developed Sharingan, and the Clan welcomes him with open arms, as welcoming as the Uchiha can ever be.
The world has a strange way of keeping its balance. But if he were ever given the choice, he would choose to keep things the way they once were. It isn't worth it.
It never was.
x
When Rin died, Obito didn't cry. It was strange, because he didn't even feel anything but a cold resigned acceptance. Nothing else but that, and a dull numbness that filled his head like cotton.
He could have stayed like that, still and unmoving, kneeling at her side. He would have stayed like that, beyond caring even when the second rockslide swallowed up Rin's cold body and buried him alive.
But Kakashi grabbed his wrist and dragged him away, and Obito watched as Rin disappeared into the gaping jaws of the earth. He didn't turn away until the dust cleared and nothing remained but a cold, unforgiving grave. The whole time it took for them to run to the bridge, Kakashi's fingers dug into his wrist in a vicelike grip.
At the meeting point, Minato sensei seemed to understand what happened the moment he set eyes on them. He asked no questions and demanded no explanations. He only looked into Obito's eyes with a thoughtful kind of concern, and smoothly proceeded on with the mission.
Compared to the previous disaster, the sight of the burning, collapsing bridge was almost anticlimactic.
x
Obito wakes up.
An Elder is waiting for him. It takes a moment for Obito to remember his name.
"Matou-sama." He pauses. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
The formal words are awkward in his mouth, like they don't belong there. Actually, they don't. Obito hasn't spoken in such a stiff way for the last eight years. But he knows that the man standing in front of him won't even acknowledge him if he doesn't watch his mouth.
After all, Uchiha Matou was famous for being uncomfortably strict. He was the one to hammer clan customs and shinobi rules into Obito's head during his early childhood. He was also the one to personally kick out Obito from the Main Compound when he didn't live up to expectations.
Matou surveys the room, his face hard with thinly veiled distaste. Somehow he always seemed to dislike Obito, even though Obito is sure he never directly offended the man.
"The Elders are waiting for you. Get dressed, quickly, and follow me." Matou walks out of the room to wait outside, the door closing with a soft click behind him.
Obito stares numbly at the closed door, and slowly drags himself out of bed. He goes into the bathroom to get himself even remotely presentable, but gives up as soon as he sees the magnificent dark circles under his eyes. He gets dressed in Uchiha formal robes, since they're the only clothes in the closet and he can't seem to find any of his own garments anywhere in the room.
Two days of nothing, and suddenly a summons?
He has a dull, resigned heaviness in his stomach. Whatever this is, it will end badly.
x
The Council room is packed full of Elders when Obito is hurriedly ushered inside. Not to mention the looming figure of Uchiha Fugaku, the Clan Head, at the head seat. Just a few weeks prior, Obito would have been rooted to the spot with heart-stopping anxiety. Right now he feels too numb and hollow to register any kind of fear. Maybe it's a good thing, because everyone in the room stops talking when he comes in. They turn to stare at him with eyes alight with anticipation, like he's the most interesting thing they've ever seen.
Elder Matou doesn't take a seat. Instead, he stands behind Obito and speaks in a low voice.
"Activate your Sharingan."
Obito complies without much thought, and his vision sharpens into crystal clarity. One Elder leans forward to look more closely. Obito feels like an animal on display. There is a brief stir of uneasiness in his mind before it gets swallowed up by the hollow numbness again.
"A little more chakra to your eyes, boy." Matou sounds borderline impatient, and an annoyed Matou is never a good sign. So Obito pushes more chakra to his eyes.
The world bursts into painful clarity, and he is thrown backwards into time.
x
Rin's eyes were wide and hazy, and her lips were turning blue. Kakashi was somewhere out of sight, pushing against the boulder with all his might. Obito couldn't do anything but sit at Rin's side, his sluggish mind trying to process the situation.
Rin's breath came in painful wheezy gasps, and she clutched Obito's hand like a lifeline as blood dribbled out of her mouth.
Obito swallowed, his mouth dry, and began to babble about inane things, comforting words he had seen mothers tell their own children on the streets.
The boulder didn't budge, and Rin shuddered. She looked very small like this, nearly everything save her head and arms hidden from sight. Obito didn't want to think of the state of her body under the boulder.
"Obito…" Her small voice seemed to cut through his blabber like a knife. "I… can't see."
Back at the Academy, they told the children that sight would be one of the first things to go when they were dying. Only hearing would remain until the end. So Obito spoke up, even when his throat felt too tight.
"It's alright. I'm here. See, we'll get you out in no time."
Rin's fingers tightened around his hand until he couldn't feel his fingertips. "I… Don't leave me." Her voice was small and frightened. Her eyes rolled sightlessly, trying to catch a glimpse of anything.
"I won't. I promise."
After that, Obito kept on rambling, keeping up a stream of soothing words without really registering what he was saying. Meaningless lies and chatter, like what they would do when they got back to Konoha, how everyone would be glad to see them, the jutsu he wanted to try. Eventually he ran out of things to talk about, and he was repeating himself, but he didn't want to stop and let Rin think that he had gone and abandoned her.
And Kakashi came back, feverish with renewed tension and desperation. "We need to move away," he said, "A second rockslide is coming."
But Obito couldn't leave Rin alone in the dark, to suffocate slowly under a ton of rocks. He stubbornly held his position, kneeling beside Rin, and Kakashi shook him, hard. There was a distant rumble, and Kakashi darted around the boulder to scan the surroundings, lips pulling back in a soundless, panicked snarl.
"We should go!"
Rin flinched, and Obito tried to calm her down with no visible success.
He had to go. But he couldn't leave her alone. He would be breaking his promise. He couldn't leave her to die alone in the dark, cold and terrified.
In the end, his hand seemed to act on its own, and it felt like he was watching from a distance, floating outside his own body. The kunai slipped smoothly into Rin's throat, and for a moment the light returned to her eyes: they met his own eyes dead on, flashing with a shard of emotion Obito couldn't identify.
Then the moment passed, and Rin let out a long, ragged breath, blood gurgling out of her mouth and throat, flowing onto his hands.
Obito didn't cry, when Rin died. He only hoped it had been painless.
x
When Obito slams back to reality, he is curled up on the floor, hands clamped over his eyes. Something trickles down his cheeks, slick and hot, thicker than tears. A high, tortured scream pierces his ears; in the background there are muffled shouts, like an argument is going on. His throat feels raw and sore.
Oh. Maybe he's the one screaming.
He bites down, his teeth clashing together, and the scream dwindles into a muffled whine. Everything is too bright, too painful, and something claws and writhes inside his ribs like a caged animal. He tries to reach for the numbness again, because that hollow sensation is infinitely better than this agony, but he doesn't remember how to do that anymore.
Someone knocks him out with a sharp impact from behind, and Obito embraces the darkness with crushing relief.
x
He comes to in a dark room, freshly washed and neatly clothed. He sits up, wincing slightly at the cramping muscles in his back. It's the same room he stayed in for two days, before the summons came.
The meeting ended in a disaster. Would they throw him out again?
The thought makes him agitated, and Obito sweeps his gaze around the room. It's mostly bare except for the luxurious furniture and traditional decorations. Only the best for the Uchiha. Obito feels awkwardly out of place.
Something – no, someone – catches his eye in his peripheral vision, and he turns. Obito freezes as she comes into focus. His breath stops in his throat.
It's Rin. She's sitting against the wall, hugging her knees. When she senses his stare, she raises her head. Her sightless eyes are wide and staring, her lips are blue – and her throat is slit open in a wide red smile.
He can't breathe.
Then the door swings open, letting in a flood of light. Obito squeezes his eyes shut in reflex; when he cracks them open, the girl is gone.
x
"The Elders have decided it would be for the best if you served on the front lines." A sickening sort of finality underlies the words. It's strange, though, that the Clan Head is the one delivering the words. Obito expected Matou to make a reappearance.
The man studies him, eyes thoughtful and lips pressed into a thin line. Obito stares back blankly. Maybe he is supposed to be honored?
Fugaku suddenly reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder. Obito suppresses a flinch with some difficulty.
"Survive," the man says in a low voice. His eyes burn with a strange intensity and the hand on his shoulder feels so very heavy.
Even as he walks away, the word lingers in Obito's mind.
Survive.
Notes: This is my first attempt on Fanfiction; I hope you enjoy! Feedback is most appreciated. :)