The first time Kakashi heard about it was when he had just joined the ANBU. It was a throwaway comment in the locker room, a fragment from an earlier conversation, an afterthought. One guy saying to another, "So why don't you ask her to come home with you? You know she kinda has to if you ask her…"
Kakashi hadn't really thought about it at the time. He'd found it weird, yes, and certainly arrogant, but there were a lot of arrogant jerks in the ANBU, and it hadn't been any of his business.
He didn't even remember the comment until, one day, a girl walked up to him while he was in uniform, and told him with a wink, "If you asked me right now, I wouldn't be allowed to say no, right, ANBU-san?" Her tone was flirtatious, her tongue traced her lips after she spoke as if the words had left a sticky-sweet residue that she wanted to taste. Kakashi, however, was more confused than anything else.
"What do you mean, you wouldn't be allowed to say no?" he asked.
She giggled; thinking he was playing with her, she turned her flirtatiousness up to eleven. She caught a strand of her glossy dark hair and twirled it around her index finger. "Well, you're ANBU, aren't you? You're not just playing dress-up, I hope?" She winked again and pouted. "Although, you're so cute that even if you weren't I'd still—"
Kakashi cut her off. For some reason, he was having a flashback of that conversation in the locker room. "So? That doesn't mean I can tell you what to do."
"Um… yes, it does?" Now, she was looking at him more closely, as if she was examining him for damage. "Wait, how come you don't know that?"
Feeling like he was in a play and hadn't gotten the script, Kakashi couldn't do much more than stare at her. "Because it's not—It makes no sense." Even he could tell that he was reaching for something to say.
She shook her head almost sadly. "Yeah, it totally makes sense. You're in ANBU. The ANBU are the heroes who keep our village safe. They have to take the hardest missions, and many of them suffer and die young. So if an ANBU asks you for… a favor, you don't say no. Everybody knows that!"
The back of his neck was feeling cold. There was no chill in the air, not even a breeze, and yet Kakashi felt as if someone had dropped an ice cube down his shirt.
"But what if you don't like them?" It was a helpless sort of question.
"Duh, if they're in ANBU, you just like them, okay?" She raised her eyebrow, but the look in her eyes was pitying.
I'm not the one she should be feeling sorry for, he thought.
"What if you're married?"
"Well, if I was married, and my husband was from this village – and he definitely would be! – then he'd know and he'd have to understand, wouldn't he?" For a second she seemed to think about that, and then, suddenly, she perked up again. "But maybe I'd marry a cute ANBU like you and then he would just keep me for himself, right?" She shot Kakashi a seductive smile.
Kakashi, however, was hardly even listening anymore. This has nothing to do with me, he thought. I'd never force someone to have sex with me.
So why did it bother him that much?
Kakashi had come to the party solely because he knew that if he didn't go, Guy would never stop pestering him about it. He'd spent too many weekends in his apartment with Guy hammering on the door or trying to break in through the window. Plus, last time, he'd threatened to try and dig his way in. With every other person that would have been a joke, with Guy, though, you really couldn't be sure.
The opening of a new bar, in Konoha this kind of thing was a major event and the small location was so packed, it felt as if the place was about to burst. Civilians and shinobi of every rank had pushed their way in as soon as the door had opened and now they were all crammed into the shiny new bar so tightly that it was virtually impossible to even see the floor or any other part of the new establishment. In fact, all Kakashi had was a great view of a variety of shoulders and backs and the backs of necks. Why did people like parties so much?
Guy had set out to get them drinks – a major argument in Kakashi's favor back when he'd still foolishly thought it was possible to argue with Guy.
We aren't even of drinking age yet… So… how about you come back in two years and then we'll go?
Kakashiii! You're ANBU and I'm a jounin now; that means we can get whatever we want!
Well, personally, I'd prefer not breaking the law. I'm a law-abiding citizen, you know.
Then we won't drink! We'll drink juice! That's healthier anyway! Juice is good for you, let's goooo!
Why don't you just buy some juice at the supermarket, then? I'll wait here and read my book. Reading's supposed to be good for you, too, you know?
Aaaargh! Kakashi, we're YOUNG! We're only young once! We can't just stay inside and read while the Springtime of our Youth passes us by!
Why can't we do that? That sounds like a good plan to me.
Waah, why?! Why are you like this?! Just come with me this once, pleaseee! It'll be fun! Come on! I've been looking forward to this for weeks! Everyone will be there!
If everyone will be there, they don't need me to come as well…
Kakashiii!
That was when he'd given up. Guy's face had been as red as a tomato; he'd looked like he was about to have a stroke from sheer frustration and Kakashi had decided that as annoying as Guy was, he didn't want him to die of a childish tantrum.
Deep down though, he didn't think that the whole youth-argument would ever stop being Guy's go-to weapon. No, if they lived to ninety, Guy would probably still use it. Kakashi could already picture him, banging on Kakashi's door with his walking cane and yelling something about being in the Springtime of Youth. He shuddered, but there was a smile on his lips, too, for some inexplicable reason.
Bored, Kakashi looked around for Guy and the promised drinks. His friend had vanished in the crowd more than fifteen minutes ago, and if he didn't come back soon, Kakashi decided, he would just have to leave without Guy. After all, he had only agreed to come with him, no one had said anything about staying after that.
Nothing. Kakashi pushed past the first wall of people, nodding his greetings to distant acquaintances as he went, and tried to figure out which way the actual bar was. Maybe Guy had just gotten lost…
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. Expecting Guy, Kakashi turned around, ready to roll his eyes and complain to his friend about the party. Except, it wasn't Guy standing behind him, but two slightly familiar looking guys.
One of them waved awkwardly at Kakashi before exchanging a glance with his friend.
Kakashi thought he might have seen them hanging around the ANBU headquarters, but out of uniform it was hard to tell. Plus, the lights in the bar were dim and there were about a million different scents clogging up his sense of smell.
"Hey, Kakashi-kun, right? Um, your friend said to tell you that he's sorry, but he's gotta go do something, so… Sorry, I guess." The first one shrugged, forcing an embarrassed grin. The second one didn't do anything at all.
"What? What's this about?" This wasn't like Guy at all, he'd never ditched Kakashi like this – it had always been the other way around. Instantly, Kakashi was worried and suspicious. He didn't want to be, it was ridiculous – Guy was a grown man and a jounin – but he was.
The two exchanged another glance, this time an even more uneasy one than before. If they were ANBU, and Kakashi's instincts were telling him loud and clear that they were, they'd be able to read his body language, and they'd know that Kakashi distrusted and disliked them.
"You know… Shun-taichô asked him to, you know…" the first one said slowly.
"He asked him for a little favor, that's all." Number two shrugged.
"What?" It wasn't that Kakashi didn't understand, it wasn't like he couldn't put the pieces together, but even looking at the finished picture, his mind wanted to refuse to accept it. This is absurd. This can't be happening. It's a joke.
"Come on, you know how it is…" This time number one shrugged. "I mean, your friend's a little strange, but Shun's not a bad guy, so… There's no need to look at us like that, man."
What? How am I looking at them?
Kakashi clenched his jaw. This wasn't any of his business. He'd go home. He'd wanted to go home anyway.
He turned on his heel and made his way to the exit.
"Yeah, it's fine," one of them called after him. "Have a good night!"
Kakashi didn't bother to turn around to see if they were coming after him. He could feel in his bones that they weren't. He threw the door of the bar open with more force than he had thought he was using, so hard that it swung wide and trembled on its hinges. Someone shouted at him to be more fucking considerate, but that didn't matter. Kakashi barely heard.
He stepped outside and, blind to the moon and the stars, headed alone into the cold night.