My own cosmos

CHARACTER: Shunrei
TOPIC/THEME: How it feels to be outside unable to fight or help your beloved
SCENERY: Rozan Peaks: Mainly the waterfall, forest or the village.
WORDS: 2,374 (aprox 12 mins)

It was the time to wake up and I knew the sun wasn't even given it light. As the sun, I didn't want to rose up yet and leave my bed.

To be winter I must admit the weather wasn't so cold, it was indeed perfect to use something with long sleeves and maybe a pant to cover the legs, but it wasn't necessary a jacket or too many blankets to sleep. But anyway, I didn't want to woke up. For me was hard to do it, moving slowly as I removed the blankets and took some clothes to wear them. Quickly, I held my hair with a ponytail because I didn't feel like even brush it or make a long braid.

As every morning I was preparing the tea and some breakfast to eat before my master woke up. He was old and couldn't do those things as before, but for me was amazing the fact he could fight to at least teach to Shiryu. But in that moment I didn't want to thought in him, in everything except my childhood friend. When everything was ready, I place two dishes and two tea cups in the table we used to eat and the old master arrived as always; moving slowly but good enough to can do it by himself and the cane it was at his side. He sat down in front of me, smiled and say good morning to then thanks for the food and began to eat with me. We were in silence as the birds outside began to sing, but he didn't know to be in silence. My old master, almost a father to me, was so talkative when he was with me or anyone else and was always so wise and even so trying to light up the ambience when we were sad.

"Shunrei, my child. What happens with you?" he asked as before drink some of the tea I prepared earlier. "You know I love to see your smile."

"There is nothing, master." I smiled trying to lie. "I'm just tired, that's all."

"We both know that's not true." he said. "Even when you are tired, you smile and talk with me. Now you are very serious. Tell me, did this old man do something without knowing that hurt you enough to see you like this?"

"Of course not, you are very respectful." I answered to show his mistake in a soft way. "You had always being good to me, master."

"Well, well, I still have that tact for the woman."

Indeed the master knew how to make me laugh at least a bit. I can bet he was a great gentleman when was young. But even if I was laughing and smiling, he asked me once more what happened. Maybe he could see the sadness in my eyes and how tired they were from crying the last night. I needed to be honest with him so I took a deep breath before talk.

"Master, I feel so useless and worried. I feel terrible."

"Can I imagine you are worried because Shiryu?" I just nodded as I was seeing my hands. "He is now in Greece, Shunrei." he explained to me as he finished to eat. "He and his friends are in the hospital, but for sure they are fine. They will fight again before this week finish, I can assure you that."

"Shiryu is indeed strong, and even his friends…" I didn't want to say it loud but I think my mouth and brain didn't knew that. "Even those girls and their goddess. All of them are so strong, they can fight… they are being useful for Shiryu."

The old master saw me as he was cleaning his mouth with a napkin in his hand. He didn't say anything but his blue eyes told me he would explain something.

"They are useful." he said in the end. "Not like you. That's what you think, right?"

Two days before that morning, one of Shiryu's friends arrived. He was wounded too, with some bandages and with a suitcase in hand but he didn't look friendly as the others and I could remember well who was. Phoenix Ikki wasn't happy as always, he looked tired and as he needed to go in the instant. He was there to explain us what happened in the Sanctuary after they defeated Saga and how his brother and the other guys, because he didn't even like to call them friends yet, were in the hospital. Of course, my master asked him why he wasn't there, and he just answered that with the help of Shaka his wounds wasn't so terrible as the other ones. And we knew he didn't want to be with them. But when he told me how Saori Kido helped to Shiryu and how Marin did with Seiya the same help, I felt just terrible. I was between a sadness and a jealousy.

He didn't spend to much there, he just talked and drank a tea with the old master who wanted to know who of his companions died and who survived, and even asked where was his cloth and Ikki explained he left it with Shaka because didn't want to bear it everywhere. Anyway, he had planned go back before spend some time in other place. Then he decided to go and I show him the easier way to go back to the town.

All the way, Ikki was in silence as I was explaining some things like the tree were Shiryu and I liked to play, or the delicious food in the town, I even told him about a beautiful waterfall that was in a secret place were only the old master, Shiryu and I knew about it. I bet he was tired to heard a woman, after all they were brave soldiers that fought without stop since they were children. For sure my talk was just something so stupid and useless, for a man like him for sure it was. But before arrive to the town he smiled to me and placed his hand over my shoulder.

"Shiryu is lucky to have you." he said. "I'm jealous."

I looked confused. And for sure he saw it on my eyes.

"What?" I asked without noticing.

"He has a place to arrive, a master to talk with and explain his doubts about anything and even a great friend to talk with and at least, for some hours, forget all this bloody world we are in." he looked sad, like if he was thinking in something or someone else. "I bet he feels so loved to just even heard your name, he feels a happiness knowing you are fine… I'm jealous." Ikki then laughed and held my hand with both of his hands. "Forget what I said, let's keep this between us." I did understand why, he was such a hard and rude man that for sure didn't want everyone knew about that soft side he showed. "When I'm with a woman like you I forget I'm just a soldier. Anyway, thank you so much for the talk."

"Ikki, you don't need to go now. You can stay till Shiryu arrives and…"

"No, I don't want to see those guys. They know they have an ally with me but I don't need to wait for him like if we were friends." he then looked sad again. "And I need to go and visit my girl. So, I hope you and your master are fine. Don't worry, Shiryu will be great soon, those stupid stubborn are hard to kill." he laughed again. "If I know that…"

We were in front of the forest and we could see the little town from that hill. Ikki smiled once more as he left my hands that was holding. I bet nobody would believed me if I say this, but Ikki isn't the tough and rude guy he always shows to be. Later I would understand he was like this with all the women who surrender him or his friends, the ones who were soft and calm or simple mortals without cosmos. He was like that with Fler, with Miho and even with a little girl called Helen, specially with her that grow a paternal love with. Ikki himself explained me we were a light in the hearts of his friends and he knew how was that feeling of knowing someone would be waiting for you or was worried about you. Later, he would explained me about Esmeralda. But that was later, even after my old master died in his duty.

But even if I was surprised I never forgot Ikki's words before leave me alone in the entrance of the forest.

"Thank you, Shunrei." he said waving his hand and stopping some steps in front of me. "Keep helping Shiryu as you do, because you do a great job."

That was two days ago. That whole day as I was walking thru the forest with a smile and thinking that I was being useful, but again the image of Marin helping to Seiya or the goddess Saori giving her energy to save Shiryu, Hyoga and Shun began to take my mind. That's why I was crying so much the last night before my old master talked with me, I was being there without cosmos and without fight. I even said it to him.

"You know, Shunrei, those two are indeed strong." my old master said as he was pouring some tea in our cups. "But what you are saying doesn't have sense. You say you don't have cosmos to fight alongside Shiryu." I tried to clean my tears because I remember when I was a child I wanted to have it and could go with Shiryu when he needed to. "But everyone has cosmos, the only difference is we could woke it up in a intensity to use it as weapon."

My eyes opened widely and I even smiled.

"Master! I want to wake it up too."

For a moment I could imagine myself helping Shiryu, being at his side and even fighting. I didn't mind to use a mask, I just wanted a cloth and be useful in the war that Shiryu was into. But my master just laughed and that made me understand it wasn't possible.

"No, that's not something you choose, my child. Your constellation is the one who does, it gives you energy when you born so in some moment in your life all that energy explodes and your cosmos gets free to be used. You still have something as powerful as an awoke cosmos." he smiled and stand up taking his cup of tea. "The cosmos is energy, and that energy can be shared and given. Your prayers, even your positive thoughts for Shiryu, are energy." the old master's voice was serious but soft to let me feel better. "In the same way our goddess help them with her cosmos, which you never need to forgot is the cosmos of a God, you helped to Shiryu when you pray. So, my child, never try to compare yourself with them."

After some seconds I could understand it and made me feel much better. I sighed in relief and even remembered Ikki's words. He knew about it, and now that the old master told me about this was even like a reminder and even more important than being heard by someone else but the man who was almost like a father to me.

"Are you going to the town today?" he asked to change the topic. It was his way to show he had say everything and all the needed to be said. "You should wear one of those beautiful dresses and make a braid. I think it looks beautiful in you." he smiled.

"Thank you, master."

"No need to thanks. I'm like this with all the ladies, and I think they might like it." he said to then laugh a bit and keep his walking. "I will be meditating in the waterfall. If you need anything, don't worry in interrupted me, my child."

As he moved, I smiled and think that maybe it was a good idea to use a green dress I wanted to use for so long. Maybe that was a special day after all.

Some hours after that I was walking thru the little market in the village close to the waterfalls. The owners of different shops already know me so they were being so friendly and happy as always and telling me how pretty I looked with the green dress and the braid I made. Indeed that day was feeling much better than before, I was seeing the little houses and the colourful ceilings in a different way. Everyone there, in Greece, even in Japan were useful as I was and that made me see the people and the beautiful animals in other point of view. I was so happy, I didn't realized some kids were playing around and began to run at my direction. I didn't expect them to pass in front of me so I somehow moved to don't fall and jumped to my right.

I really feel like falling, but suddenly I felt some arms around me and stopped my fall. I sighed and smiled, but I already know those hands that were holding my arms and took a deep breath to turn and my tears couldn't wait. He smiled to me and said my name as he hugged me.

"Shiryu!"

In that moment I knew something, my happiness and love for him were energy as the cosmos he could use and I was hoping that in that way he could feel less tired and we could walk to see the old master. It was a happy day to me, and I really needed that happiness before he would go again to fight. But I didn't mind, I know he is strong and I can always help him with my love and my prays. And in my mind was the fact that he knew I was always waiting and worrying for him. I was the light in his heart, as he was the light in mine.