A/N: I wrote this as an English assignment, but then I changed it a bit to be HP. It's pretty weird. Okay, its REALLY weird. But I think its funny as well! Enjoy!
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Why pink tu-tus should be the school uniform
by world renowned reporter and columnist Rita Skeeter
"OMG! My school uniform is sooooo boring! We should have pink tu-tus as our uniforms!" Hermione Granger's fateful words one October night at Hogwarts have now blossomed into what could become a reality. The current uniforms, labeled as "boring" by Miss Granger, consist of a plain black robe. Now is that really so bad? According to a recent poll of Hogwarts, a whopping 95% of the students thought so!
"We only want a safe learning environment!" retorted the school's headmaster, Dumbledore, saying the drab student coverings reduce fighting. But the idea Ms. Granger proposes IS uniform, so there would be no competition for brand names (although Ms. Granger disclosed that Tutes brand is preferable), or kids being beat up for having inferior tu-tus. As Hermione, an A honor roll student, put it, "We'd all look so cute that NO one could possibly risk staining them with," she gasped, "icky blood!"
Icky it is, Hermione. And to those who agree that uncolorful, unimaginative uniforms stifle originality, she offers this example. "Like, I was wearing the black, old uniforms, and I just got up every morning and," she sobbed, "didn't put any accesories on. I mean, nothing matches with black! My whole area of, like, uniqueness was destroyed! And I'm sure everyone has a pile of cute pink accesories to pick from! Freedom of choice, dude!"
But some wonder, what IS Miss Granger's alterior motive for this change? This reporter firmly believes it has something to do with her ill-fated love affair with The-Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter. When asked for a quote, his best-friend Ron Weasley said that, "Harry and Hermione? Well, they have been acting a bit weird lately..." This reporter belives we all know WHY they have been acting weird.
On this one issue, however, I agree with Miss Granger. Hogwarts should change its uniforms to pink tu-tus. Because not only dancers should get to revel in lucious, bubble gum pink, ruffly dresses! We ALL deserve a piece of the pie! Please, vote YES on proposition 28!
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Why pink tu-tus should be the school uniform
by world renowned reporter and columnist Rita Skeeter
"OMG! My school uniform is sooooo boring! We should have pink tu-tus as our uniforms!" Hermione Granger's fateful words one October night at Hogwarts have now blossomed into what could become a reality. The current uniforms, labeled as "boring" by Miss Granger, consist of a plain black robe. Now is that really so bad? According to a recent poll of Hogwarts, a whopping 95% of the students thought so!
"We only want a safe learning environment!" retorted the school's headmaster, Dumbledore, saying the drab student coverings reduce fighting. But the idea Ms. Granger proposes IS uniform, so there would be no competition for brand names (although Ms. Granger disclosed that Tutes brand is preferable), or kids being beat up for having inferior tu-tus. As Hermione, an A honor roll student, put it, "We'd all look so cute that NO one could possibly risk staining them with," she gasped, "icky blood!"
Icky it is, Hermione. And to those who agree that uncolorful, unimaginative uniforms stifle originality, she offers this example. "Like, I was wearing the black, old uniforms, and I just got up every morning and," she sobbed, "didn't put any accesories on. I mean, nothing matches with black! My whole area of, like, uniqueness was destroyed! And I'm sure everyone has a pile of cute pink accesories to pick from! Freedom of choice, dude!"
But some wonder, what IS Miss Granger's alterior motive for this change? This reporter firmly believes it has something to do with her ill-fated love affair with The-Boy-Who-Lived, Harry Potter. When asked for a quote, his best-friend Ron Weasley said that, "Harry and Hermione? Well, they have been acting a bit weird lately..." This reporter belives we all know WHY they have been acting weird.
On this one issue, however, I agree with Miss Granger. Hogwarts should change its uniforms to pink tu-tus. Because not only dancers should get to revel in lucious, bubble gum pink, ruffly dresses! We ALL deserve a piece of the pie! Please, vote YES on proposition 28!
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"Smashingly good article, if I do say so myself!" Rita Skeeter muttered to herself, skipping off into the distance, dancing a jig with her beloved quick quotes quill.
THE END! (Or is it? Yes it is.)
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A/N: That WAS weird. But I like the ending bit. :) Please review, even if your only going to tell me I reeeally need psychological attention. And if you don't, I'll make Rita Skeeter write weird, strange stuff about you, too! *waves*