The Likes of You / Until The Real Thing Comes Along
Sunshine, that's what I remember. Sunshine and smoke. It looked wrong, the black fading into the blue like it was. By the time the truck came it was too late the screaming that still woke me up in the night had stopped, and I wouldn't hear it ever again.
It gets blurry after the fire, a room with green walls and a woman shuffling papers. Me sitting on a couch while seven other kids ran around. The silence of a house, disturbed only by crying and breaking glass. Then, more sunshine. Sometimes I hear singing, then I remind myself its only in my head.
After all that its a surprise the one thing I can't remember is my parents. Sometimes I would sit on the sidewalk, while the kids rode their bikes, and wonder if my sandy hair came from my mom, if my hazel eyes came from my dad, or maybe the opposite. The other kids didn't wonder, they never asked about their parents or how they ended up there. I never asked why they disappeared, or where I was going when I did too.
Family, that's what they thought would be best, at least that's what they thought when they discovered my aunt. I hoped they were right. They drove me down, the lady was trying to make me happy, I was lucky that way, that I had a good 'helper' as I called her. Most kids talked about how mean their's was. She greeted me at the door, aunt Carol. She was tall, at least to short little me she was, looking back five foot four isn't very tall at all, but I was only six. She insisted I call her Carrie.
Carrie was funny, with chocolate brown hair that stopped at her shoulder and curved in a bit, her bangs swooped across her face, often falling in her eyes. Not a single part of me looked like her, and I was often curious as to if she was really my aunt.
My first night there she showed me my room, and braided my hair.
"So is this another part of the Permanency Planning?" I asked her from my bed, I sat cross-legged and watched her put away my clothes. She slowly shut the top drawer of my white dresser.
"Honey, how do you know such big words?"
I shrugged, she still hadn't answered my question. "Is it?"
"Well, yes, I suppose so. But this is the last part of your Permanency Planning." Carrie combed her fingers through my hair and hugged me tight. "Now go to sleep." I wasn't used to anyone tucking me into sleep, it was new, but I liked it.
"Annalise get down here, you're going to miss the bus!"
"Coming Carrie!" I called down the stairs as I pulled a striped blue sweater over my head and grabbed my white flats, hopping down the stairs trying to get them on. She was in the kitchen cooking bacon, I grabbed three strips and some toast.
"Eat quick, girl, or else you've got to walk. I have a meeting so I wont be able to drive you." I nodded and ran out the door. "Backpack!"
"Shit, right." I caught it and raced onto the crowded and noisy bus. "Janie!" The petite blonde was sitting alone, waiving to me from the back.
"Mr. Lyre is having a pop quiz today! Wanna study at lunch?" She was all bright eyed and bouncy, just like every morning. I on the other hand had just discovered the skirt lying on my floor was there for a reason and had a stain on it, I hoped if I pulled my shirt down enough it would be covered.