Author: Sable-eyed-lily

Rating: T

Genre: Song fic; Romance/Angst

Warnings: slightly sexual scene (mostly groping); spoilers for book 7; tissues may be needed; SLASH

Author summery: This is from my favorite Christmas song Same Old Lang Syne by Daniel Fogelberg. This is an angsty story from Harry's POV when he sees Draco again for the first time since the nasty breakup that was Harry's fault. This takes place approx. 10 years after the Final Battle. This is a SLASH story. If you don't like that kinda thing, then don't read this.

Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics, or the characters. Lyrics are Fogelberg's. The characters all belong to JKR. I just like to play with Harry and Draco... Trust me, If I owned them, Harry and Draco would have been a couple... or friends at the very least in DH.

Author's note: This is my very first attempt at HP fan fiction, so any helpful criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Same Old Lang Syne

Met my old lover in the grocery store

The snow was falling Christmas eve

Harry sighed wearily. He and Ginny had had another one of their fights. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Harry ran a tired hand over his face as he continued to walk the London muggle streets.

Harry had married Ginny out of obligation. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time. The war was over, and everyone seemed to be looking up at the war heroes. Harry had cracked under pressure, and proposed to Ginny about a year after the war was over. It seemed predestined. Marry Ginny, have kids, live next to Hermione and Ron, watch all of their children grow up, grow old together, and live happily ever after. The first three parts had happened and the forth was already in motion. The last part was the only one that seemed like an impossibility.

Harry blinked, and took in his surroundings for the first time. He'd walked into a muggle grocery store. Harry continued to wander through the aisles for lack of anything else to do. Besides, it was bitterly cold outside. The snow had been falling all of Christmas eve. Harry began to idly wonder if Ginny would remember to put the Christmas presents under the tree for the boys. They had two sons so far, with another child on the way. James Sirius and Albus Severus.

Harry winced slightly at his last son's name. He loved the names they'd chosen for their sentimental value and the brave men they were named after, but he couldn't help but feel somewhat sorry for saddling a name like Albus Severus on a 2 year old. Too late for that. Besides, Sirius would have risen from the grave and murdered you if you had named one of them Sirius Severus.

As Harry rounded the corner towards the frozen foods, he halted in his steps quite suddenly. Right in front of him stood a man with familiar slivery blond hair. His breath caught in his throat, and his soul felt as if a dementor was sucking it straight out of his mouth.

I stole behind her in the frozen foods

And I touched her on the sleeve

Harry crept up behind him, and his hand slowly reached for the man's pale one. Then he froze quite suddenly. If this was indeed Draco, then perhaps this wasn't the best idea. They hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms. Correction: They had left on the worst note in the history of bad notes.

After the war had been over, Harry had spoken in front of the Wizgamont on behalf of Draco and his mother. He had remembered Draco's terrified face back in the Manor and on the Astronomy Tower. Dumbledore had tried to give Draco a chance. He'd seen that Draco could still be save. And Harry had as well. Dumbledore had always known how to see the best in people, Harry mused to himself. Harry had talked of how the Light's victory may not have happened if Narcissa hadn't lied to Voldemort for him. There had been nothing he could do for Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy Senior had been sent to Azkaban for 20 years. A reduced sentence considering he hadn't fought in the final battle and had showed remorse for his actions even before said battle. Most of the remaining Death Eaters had received life sentences or the Kiss.

After that, Draco and Harry had become tentative friends. The following year, almost everyone in the Hogwart's class of 1997 had returned for what could be called their 8th year. When Hogwarts had been under the reign of the Carrows, hardly anyone learned anything, so everyone had to repeat a year. That year had been a hard one for both Harry and Draco. The press was constantly at Harry's throat and Draco couldn't go anywhere without being spit on.

As the year had progressed, their friendship had turned into something more. Draco had no one. After the Malfoys fall from grace, no one even wanted to sit near him. The Malfoy heir had become subdue and even timid at times. Harry had been the only one that had been slightly there for the Slytherin. They eventually fell for each other. Each taking comfort in someone who was also in pain. Harry had suffered through constant nightmares after the Final Battle, constant dreams of empty, hollow eyes and mangled bodies. Draco had always whispered him back to sleep in the room of requirement after he woke up screaming his lungs out. Their relationship had been kept in secret, not even Ron and Hermione had known. Well, if Hermione had figured it out, she never mentioned it.

Harry had snuck out every night under his invisibility cloak to see Draco in the room of requirement. Each following morning before dawn, he'd left Draco alone in the king-sized bed, and went back to the Gryffindor dorms.

Harry snapped out of his nostalgic thoughts, and was wisped back into the present. He scowled at himself as he continued to stand frozen to the spot. Come on. Where's the Gryffindor bravery? You've faced Voldemort multiple times and even fought against a Hungarian Horntail. This shouldn't be that hard! Just reach out and touch him. It might not even be him. Harry gulped. Right now, he'd rather face Voldemort again. Before he could stop himself, he grabbed the blonde man by the shoulder, and spun him around.

She didn't recognize the face at first

But then her eyes flew open wide

Draco Malfoy. Harry drank in the sight of him like a man dying of thirst. The silvery gold tresses framed his sharp looking features. The once pointed face was now chiseled and would have made Adonis jealous. Harry estimated that Draco was only about an inch or two taller than him. Draco had certainly grown up. He wasn't obscenely muscular, nor was he scrawny. Lean would have been the best description. Since their brief romance, Harry had always viewed Draco as something.. delicate. Something that should be treated with extreme care. Not that Draco constantly needed protection. The man truly fit his name. A fire breathing dragon, one that could captivate you and make your blood run cold or on fire depending on the situation. The iced eyes glared at him with a sneer. Harry took a step closer, and he could see the tiny cerulean flecks in the icy storms that held him so captivated.

Harry watched as the stormy eyes took in his face, and land on his eyes. Draco's eyes flew open wide, and he seemed to be struggling for breath.

She went to hug me and she spilled her purse

And we laughed until we cried.

"Harry?" Draco asked, his voice sounding weak and incredulous.

"Hello, Draco." Harry whispered equally as quiet. His eyes watching Draco's face rapidly for some sort of reaction. The blonde's expression remained a carefully blank mask. When they remained in this position for a few more minutes, Harry finally plucked up the courage to say something. "H-how," He clear his throat, "How have you been?"

This seemed to pull Draco out of his stupor, and he timidly tried to hug Harry. Unfortunately, as he did this, his money bag went crashing the linoleum floors. A variety of both muggle and wizarding money went rolling in all directions. Draco flushed prettily, but the loud crash had been all that was needed to break the ice.

Both of them started laughing until they cried. Well, actually, only Harry began to cry. Draco was merely chuckling quietly. Still the same old Draco. Harry thought fondly, still trying to catch his breath.

We took her groceries to the checkout stand

The food was totaled up and bagged

We stood there lost in our embarrassment

As the conversation dragged.

Harry scrambled around the ground to try and help Draco pick up his fallen money. After that, they stared somewhat shyly at each other. Harry was already shuffling his feet, and his palms were growing clammy with sweat. "Er… Shall..Shall I help check you out then?" Harry asked, immediately blushing as he realized his unintentional innuendo.

Draco only smirked at him as he led the way towards the checkout counter. Harry immediately felt nervous as they both stood there, watching as the food was totaled up and bagged. Harry caught Draco's eye again, and they both grew slightly pink in the face. Harry began to scuffle his shoes on the ground as the conversation dragged.

We went to have ourselves a drink or two

But couldn't find an open bar

We bought a six-pack at the liquor store

And we drank it in her car.

Harry was mentally berating himself for not having a thing to say. While he was doing this, he followed Draco aimlessly out of the store and into the parking lot. As soon as he realized Draco had stopped, Harry was taken aback when he took in his surroundings. "You own a car?" The ebony haired man asked dumbfounded.

Draco continued to smirk in that infuriating way of his. At that moment, all Harry wanted to do was kiss Draco until he was so breathless, he couldn't remember what the hell a smirk even was. "These are new times Potter. Sometimes you have to learn how to adjust to different surroundings." His voice lacked viciousness when he said the surname.

Harry nodded mechanically. This had been the last thing he expected. Where had the whole propaganda on 'I hate muggles, Mudbloods, and all things related to them. May Merlin smite them where they stand' gone? The very idea of Draco Malfoy owning a car and being able to drive it was mind boggling. The car was an extremely nice one, which somewhat relieved Harry. If it had been a beat up piece of junk, Harry would have suspected a polyjuice conspiracy. Even though he didn't really have any expertise with cars, he had to admire the black Aston Martin.

"Well, Harry? Aren't you going to get in?" Draco asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Harry snapped to attention, and saw the clear laughter in Draco's usually unexpressive eyes. Harry smiled and hesitantly clambered into the passenger seat. He quickly snapped on his seatbelt and briefly wondered if he should conjure a helmet, just to be on the safe side.

"I'm not that horrible of a driver, you know?" Draco smiled a genuine smile at Harry.

Harry couldn't help but admire his smile. Merlin, it had been so long since he'd even thought of Draco's smiles. They'd been one of his favorite things about Draco. The way they seemed to light up his entire face. It was so much more attractive than his usual scowl at any rate. Then again, there were so few things that Draco had to smile about in his life. Once upon a time, Harry had felt so special when he got one of those rare smiles. They had made him feel extraordinary lucky. Like he was the only one in the world that could bring Draco so much happiness and joy…

"Where are we going?" Harry asked finally. He'd finally noticed that they'd passed the same street three times so far.

Draco sighed heavily, and pulled the car over to the side to the street. "I've been looking around for a bar so that we could have ourselves a drink or two. I guess all of them are closed for Christmas eve."

Harry shot him a bemused look. "You do remember that you're a wizard, don't you?" Harry lifted the Holly wand, and gave it a wave. Immediately a bottle of firewhiskey appeared along with two glasses. Harry poured them each a generous amount, and passed one along to Draco.

We drank a toast to innocence

We drank a toast to now

And tried to reach beyond the emptiness

But neither one knew how.

"Here's to us." Harry raised his glass up in a toast.

Draco clinked his against Harry's. "Cheers." Both sipped at their drinks before Draco began to speak. "So why are you out here on Christmas Eve?"

Harry sighed. "Ginny and I haven't been getting along lately." He glanced at Draco and almost expected a triumphant glimmer in his eyes, but all he saw was concern. Draco hesitantly placed his hand on Harry's, and began to rub his thumb in soothing circles along the sun-kissed skin.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked softly.

"What isn't wrong?" Harry retorted bitterly. "It seems as if we fight everyday. She's constantly picking a fight. The boys have been noticing, and I'm afraid of what this might do to them." In the corner of his eye, he saw Draco flinch slightly at the mention of Harry and Ginny's children. The soft caresses on his hand paused for a moment before continuing to stroke tenderly. Suddenly, Harry's emotions overflowed, and he began to tell Draco every single thing about his life that he was worried about. It ranged from Al falling down the stairs to worry over Ginny asking for a divorce in the possible future.

And the entire time, Draco listened patiently. Harry caught a few words muttered under the blonde's breath. It sounded like, "Stupid ginger Harpy… Bloody weasels overrunning the place… knew she wasn't good enough.. Idiotic carrot tops.."

She said she'd married her an architect

Who kept her warm and safe and dry

She would have liked to say she loved the man

But she didnt like to lie.

Harry gulped several deep breaths after he'd finished his ranting. "I.. erm…" Harry trailed off. Draco smiled encouraging at him. "What's been going on with you since.. Hogwarts?"

Draco flinched slightly at the reminder of what had happened on his last night at the school. "I've been fine. I'm still reigning over the family business."

Harry nodded slightly. During their last year at Hogwarts, Draco had to take over as Head of the family, and the duties that came along with it. Ten years later, he was still doing the same thing. "Have you met anyone special?"

Draco lifted up his hand. Harry finally noticed the white gold band on his ring finger. "Oh." Harry said in a tiny voice. He suddenly felt his chest monster stand up with a roar. Harry was in a state of shock. His chest monster hadn't made an appearance since his 6th year. "Who is it?" Harry managed to choke out.

"Astoria Greengrass. Well, Astoria Malfoy now. She's Daphne's younger sister." Draco said. "She mostly works on sculpting and designing buildings."

"Oh." Harry whispered once again. The chest monster was roaring for him to take Malfoy right there in the car, and prove that no one could take away what belonged to him. Wait… Harry backtracked. Since when had Draco belonged to him? Harry inwardly sighed. He'd given up all claims on Draco the day he left. "Are you… Are you happy?" Harry had to ask.

Draco merely shrugged, which frustrated Harry more than anything. He hesitated before speaking. "Astoria and I aren't exactly close. Our marriage was a manner of business. As head of the Malfoy family, I had to produce an heir. Astoria was a good choice for a wife, but that's all she is to me. She fulfilled her duties as a pureblood witch, and for that I'm thankful. I had a son about 2 years ago." The last part Draco said with a definite ring of pride.

Harry smiled at him. "What's his name?"

"Scorpius Draconis Malfoy." Malfoy positively radiated when he said this.

"It's a good name." Harry murmured softly. Harry glanced at Draco through his fringe. "So, you're not in love with Astoria?" Harry winced as he heard how much hope was in his voice as he said this.

Draco smiled resentfully. "I'm in love with someone else."

"Ah…" Harry trailed off, trying to bat away the pricking sensation behind his eyes. "Does she know about your feelings?"

"Oh, he knows." Draco said with a bitter laugh. "In fact, I made a complete fool out of myself thinking that he loved me. In the end, I lost him." Draco looked him in the eye, and had an inscrutable look on his face. "In the end, it was everyone else's opinions that mattered, and not mine or his."

"Oh." Harry squeaked, unable to meet Draco's eyes any longer. He had a hunch as to who this he was. Harry felt an unstoppable wave of shame spread underneath his skin.

I said the years had been a friend to her

And that her eyes were still as blue

But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw

Doubt or gratitude.

Harry reached over, and gently intertwined his fingers in a lock of Draco's smooth as silk hair. He reverently tucked it behind Draco's ear, and peered steadily into his eyes. Harry cupped his hand against the pale cheek, and caressed it softly. He smiled slowly at him. "Merlin… You're eyes are still as beautiful as I remember." Harry whispered, only a hair's breath away from Draco's lips. He couldn't read the look in those liquid mercury eyes. He wasn't if he saw doubt or gratitude.

She said she saw me in the record stores

And that I must be doing well

I said the audience was heavenly

But the traveling was hell.

As Harry was about to take the plunge and kiss him, Draco turned his head away. It was as if time had snapped back, and Harry realized where he was. He instantly pulled away from the blonde. His breath was coming out in ragged gasps, and he was trying desperately to still it. Harry was horrified. He was married now, and so was Draco. How could he even contemplate doing that? His inner chest monster purred, 'It's not like marriage ever stopped anyone before.'

Draco turned around, just in time to see Harry's horrified face. Harry thought he saw disappointment in the silver pools, but it was gone in a blink. "I saw you." Draco said quietly.

"What?" Harry asked in confusion.

"In some of those quidditch magazines a few years ago. Back when you were touring with the Wasps. You must be doing well."

"Oh, right. It was nice for a while being their seeker, but in the end I decided to quit. I needed to be closer to my family." Yeah, and look at where that got you. Harry ignored his inner voice, and continued to talk to Draco. "The cheering crowd was heavenly, but the traveling was hell."

We drank a toast to innocence

We drank a toast to now

And tried to reach beyond the emptiness

But neither one knew how.

We drank a toast to innocence

We drank a toast to time

Reliving in our eloquence

Another auld Lang syne...

They continued to make small talk as the fire whiskey steadily became empty. Harry, honestly, had never felt more relaxed. They kept making toasts; to innocence that had been lost, to now, and to times that had long since past.

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired

And running out of things to say

She gave a kiss to me as I got out

And I watched her drive away.

The fire whiskey eventually made it's last drop. And the two wizards grinned at each other. Harry began to feel a little worried. He was beginning to run out of things to say, and it seemed that Draco had as well. Harry wished that the night would never end. Unfortunately for Harry, most of his wishes never came true.

"I better go." Harry whispered, beginning to gather his things.

"…Yeah, you should." Draco said, a sad note ringing in his voice.

Harry paused as he began to climb out. "Will I see you again?" Hope was rising in his chest, but it instantly deflated as Draco shook his head.

"We both run in different circles. It would never work." Harry flinched at the words that were thrown back at him.

"… I understand." Harry murmured. He was about to turn away, when he felt Draco tug him back. Harry gasped in surprise as he felt soft lips crash against his own chapped ones. He could feel so many different emotions running between them from that single kiss. Hope, bitterness, anger, love, misery, happiness, and regret.

Harry was still in a daze as Draco broke off the kiss and stared at him intently. Harry couldn't even get his tongue to work, as he stared at Draco in a stupor. Harry's fingers gently pressed against his shocked lips, as he watch him drive away.

Just for a moment I was back at school

And felt that old familiar pain

Harry inhaled sharply, and it seemed as if he was transported back to that night. That last night in Hogwarts.

Hogwarts~ Summer of 1999

Harry made his way under the invisibility cloak towards the Room of Requirement. He knew what he had to do that night. He had to be strong. It was for the best.

Harry paced slowly in front of the blank patch of wall. When the door appeared, Harry walked in with trepidation. He was attacked immediately. He and his attacker fell to the floor in a heap.

"Draco mmmph-" Harry tried to talk, but Draco's mouth was in the way.

"It's been too long." Was the seductive whisper that was purred in his ear. Draco's hot breath ghosted across Harry's shivering skin. "Almost an entire day." A rain of openmouthed kisses and sharp nips began to trail from the sensitive spot behind Harry's ear to his collarbone.

Harry's breathing hitched as Draco began to fervently suck at one spot on his neck. "Dr-Draco." Harry groaned. All of his plans had gone straight out the window.

"Harry… Merlin you taste so good." Draco's face was flushed as he began to fumble with the buttons on Harry's shirt.

Harry felt something hard nudge against his hip, and it made his eyes instantaneously flash open. He pushed Draco away with a hard shove. Draco stumbled, but caught his balance.

"Harry?" Draco asked, his head cocked to the side.

"Draco." Harry struggled to regain his composure. "We need to talk."

The room instantly fell several degrees after those four words. Draco's face was paler than usual, and it gave him the look of Death. "H-Harry?" Draco asked again, his voice cracking slightly.

"We can't be together anymore." Harry said, cutting off anything Draco may have been trying to say. "It's too much for me. I-I'm asking Ginny to marry me this summer. I'm sorry."

"But… But you said that when we graduated we would tell everyone." Draco's voice shook. "We would tell them about what we are to each other. That we'd get a flat together and-"

"-I'm sorry, but it's over Draco. We both run in different circles. It would never work." Harry said angrily. Draco had changed so severely after the war. It almost seemed at times that he was only hanging on because of Harry. Merlin, Harry knew what he was losing, but he couldn't face the pressure everyone was giving him anymore. And he couldn't face Draco with this either.

"YOU PROMISED!" Draco shouted. Anger was resonating off every fiber of his body.

"Well, sometimes things change!" Harry yelled back.

Draco actually snarled, and he pulled out his wand. Harry immediately withdrew his as well. Now they were practically in each other's face, panting heavily with anger and frustration. They stayed like that for several moments, before Draco's facade broke. "Why, Harry?" He asked, his voice a desperate trembling plea.

"I can't deal with you anymore Draco. I'm sorry." Harry said for the hundredth time. He could feel that Draco would fight this. He knew he needed to put a firm stop to this. His next words felt like torture coming out of his mouth. Harry couldn't even face him any longer. "I just don't love you as much as I thought I did." There was a sharp gasp behind him, and he fought off every instinct to comfort his Dragon. It was for the best, and maybe one day Draco would understand why he did what he did. Harry turned his back on the sobbing blonde and walked out the door, ignoring the piteous cries and whimpers that were behind him.

Harry exhaled, shivering from the icy cold, and it wasn't from the snow. He could hear the ringing whimpers of 'you promised' in his ears. He felt his heart ache and his soul seemed to shatter as he dredged up memories he had long since repressed. He'd ruined it. He'd ruined his every chance at happiness back then, and now he was truly feeling the pain of it. Hot tears began to flow in a torrent down his cheeks as he turned to make his way back home. He looked at the faded sky through lifeless eyes as the snow turned into rain.

And as I turned to make my way back home

The snow turned into rain

~Fin~

Please Review and tell me what you thought of it!!!!

XOXO

Sable-eyed-lily