~* Yes, my psychotic little mind has come up with another psychotic little plot line. HOOORAY PSYCHOS! I hope you like this story, I worked pretty hard on the crazy plot line.*~
Damaged Egos and Anti Twins
Chapter 1: The nightmare begins
The dream team walked into the potions classroom five minutes early, as most syrupy little over achieving Gryffindors do. They took their seats in the front of the class, not because Harry and Ron wanted too, but because the little micro managing fuzz ball wanted to (a.k.a. Hermione). They took their seats and Ron took a power nap, while Harry thought about Cho in his perverted little psyche, and Hermione cracked open a dictionary and started to gleefully memorize every word in the English tongue. Five minutes later, right on cue, Snape barged in, followed by the last lingering students (all of which were Slytherins who would not be punished for the tardiness).
"Today we will be starting a new unit on the superfluous topic of cosmetic potions." Snape started in his cold drawl. Lavender and Parvati squealed with delight, until Snape shot them a shut-up-you-stupid-girls-I'm-old –and-bitter-because-these-potions-will-never-cure-my-ugliness sort of glare. They shut up immediately (out of pity and fear).
"Now, the first one we will start with is simple. It is a simple magic shampoo that clears away dander and cures split ends…" Snape started again, moving to the chalk board.
"I wonder if it de-oils…" Ron whispered to Harry through a giggle. Harry started to snort, and on reflex Snape yelled out "73 points from Gryffindor!" as his neck tweaked. Ron and Harry sighed as Snape went back to his long twang on how to correctly make the potion. Hermione and Neville frantically took notes, as Snape told them that if they messed up his perfectly simple potion that he would give them a detention worse then any other. It would be so awful that it would be recorded in the almighty book of detentions worse then death (which resided in the library).
"…Your potion will be a dark fuchsia if you do it correctly. So indications of a mass screw up would be if your potion changed color…" Snape said.
"Well, that doesn't seem too bad!" Harry said.
"…followed by an explosion of mass intensity with uncertain consequences." Snape finished with a nasty smirk.
"You were saying?" Hermione said, her face a greenish white. If Snape was going to pair up the students like he usually did, he would pair her up with Neville, the amazing human fuck up.
"Now, since many students have complained of the way I've been pairing everyone up for our projects, I've decided to go about it in a different way. You will be put into groups of four, and at the end of the period you will have to test out your shampoo. The groups are as follows: Parkinson, Bullstrode, Patil and Brown…" Lavender and Parvati looked over at the smiling Millicent and Pansy, who gave each other a high five, as if they had won two brand new minions.
"Zambini, Longbottom, Goyle, and Thomas…"
"Poor Neville. Their potion will fail for sure!" Hermione whispered in distress.
"Well, our chances look good, Seamus still doesn't have a partner…" Ron whispered.
"Granger, Potter, Weasley…"
"YEAH!" Harry whispered.
"…and Malfoy."
"Damn it!" Ron said, slamming his fist on the workbench.
"Crabbe, Finnigan…" Snape continued, pretending to ignore Ron's comment of repugnance. Everyone got into their groups, the dream team forced to come over to the self-righteous looking (sexy) Draco.
"So, you'll be making my potion…" Draco said with a sly grin.
"No, we will each be doing equal parts Draco." Hermione reprimanded. Draco scoffed and put his feet up on the workbench.
"Non of you will ever be equal to me in any sense." He said starting to point to each one of them, "You Granger will never have the magical status as me, you Weasley will never be as rich and famous as me, and you Potter will never have the dashing good looks like me." He said, pausing while he let his little bastardly comments sink in, "and when did I give you the right to call me by my first name Mudblood?" he said, getting up from his seat and looking at Hermione with repulsion. Ron's face went red and he raised his fist.
"Take that back Malfoy, or I'll beat you to a pulp of gooey white Malfoy paste!"
"Eww, do you know what you just described? Calm down Weasel, and go gather our ingredients! Shoo shoo!" he said to Ron with little fluttery hand movements.
"Now, you obviously are going to need my help, so, let's look at the first steps…" Draco said. They started to fuss over the potion and within minutes they were all bickering over the ingredients.
"Potter, you only need one cup of newt eye serum!" Draco snapped, as Harry accidentally poured in two cups.
"Ron, you're supposed to stir it every five minutes! Do you want it to burn!" Hermione barked, frantically stirring the potion.
"Damn it Granger! You're stirring it too fast!" Draco yelled, taking the stirring staff from her.
"Hey, is it supposed to be that color?" Ron said, pointing to the potion that was now a bright teal. They all leaned in closer to get a better look of the potion.
"No…it's supposed to be fu"
BOOM
The room vibrated as Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco's cauldron exploded. The floor within a ten foot radius of their cauldron was covered in a thick teal goop, as were the group. As the smoke cleared, Snape came over coughing and waving the smoke out of is face.
"WHAT HAPPENED!" he demanded as the four goopy students each pointed fingers at a different member of the group. Snape rubbed his temples and pointed to the water basin in the back of the room.
"Clean up…now!" he said through a sigh. They all pulled them selves up off the floor and trudged their dripping selves to the back of the room.
"This is your entire fault Potter!" Draco said, as he washed off his face and hair.
"Shut up Malfoy!" Harry said as he took off his glasses and washed out his hair. As he did so, he could hear muffled screams around him through the water. He popped his head out and fumbled for a towel. He dried his hair and cleaned off his glasses, only to find everyone pointing and laughing at the quartet. Harry looked at his group members in awe. Hermione turned around to face the mirror in utter horror, as did the other three.
"What happened to our hair!" Hermione screamed.
~*Next chapter will have much funny.*~