Originally written 11/19/2009 and posted at Paradox, the Sheldon/Penny LiveJournal community, for the post-TADD Drabble-A-Thon on the prompt: "Which panties do you wear on Mondays?" (And yes I realize that some are a bit long to really count as drabbles, but on LJ it counts if it fits in one comment box, so, yeah. :) )

Penny wasn't sure what was it that caused Sheldon to think it was alright to go through a woman's underwear drawer on not one but two separate occasions. She had awakened the next morning feeling exceptionally groggy and not... really remembering what happened the night before. Then, of course, she had moved, and her arm hurt like a bitch, and most everything came back.

Her first action had been to drag herself out of bed and across the suspiciously clean floor, into her bathroom so she can fill up the tub and just lay in hot water for a good long while. Upon carefully lifting herself out (breathing a sigh of relief when both feet safely hit her bathroom mat) and drying herself off, she had walked back into her bedroom to start the process of getting dressed.

This was when she hit the underwear drawer.

And it was terrifying. Just a little.

All of her underwear—all twenty-some pairs plus ten or so bras—was folded and laid into seven neat rows. Each row had a color scheme—neutrals, then red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet.

Penny was able to tell that Sheldon had been in a dilemma with how much underwear to put in each row, as she had seven pairs of red underwear and only like two pairs of green underwear, so the colors rolled over into different days until each row had the same amount of underwear.

Her bras were divided less evenly, and the Sunday slot didn't have a bra at all because there was no purple bra to match with the purple Sunday underwear. In place of a bra, in fact, was a piece of paper with a question mark on it.

Mouth hanging open, Penny spent a few good minutes—literally, minutes—staring at her Sheldonized lingerie collection.

Sheldon had been adorable last night. Yes, adorable. She vaguely remembered forcing him to sing Soft Kitty and to stay until she fell asleep and he had done so with very little complaint. She owed a lot to him, but she also knew that if she let this slide she was just begging for him to come in again and to a similarly horrifying organization of her box of tampons or something.

Not even bothering to dress, Penny managed with one arm to sling her purple robe onto her good arm, keeping her bad arm close to her rib cage and simply wrapping the robe around it. She had to use her teeth to tie the cord. Then she grabbed a handful of what Sheldon had deemed her Thursday underwear and marched across the hall.

Sheldon was awake and eating a bowl of cereal in his spot. When Penny entered, he jumped like eight miles into the air, craned his neck to look at her, opened his mouth, closed it, and gaped. She marched over to him, stopping behind his spot on the couch, and dropped her underwear on top of his head. One green thong landed right on top of his cereal. Sheldon tore his gaze from her and could do little but stare at his ruined food in horror.

"You were a sweetie last night," she said, "but next time you touch my underwear, I swear to you, it'll turn up in places you never thought it would." And, after a particularly evil thought, she added, "And who knows if it'll be clean."

Then she leaned forward and kissed the top of his head, feeling smug.

Sheldon snapped his gaze back to her. His eyes flickered downward for a moment, he blushed, they flickered back up, he cleared his throat, and he spoke, his voice a little strangled: "Penny—"

"Sorry, Sheldon, have to get dressed!"

Smirking, she turned around and swept back into her apartment, feeling immensely proud of herself.

It was when she went to take off her robe that she realized what had caused Sheldon to be so oddly quiet even after her undergarments landed in his food. She hadn't done the cord properly. And certain things—popped out.

"Son of a bitch!"