AN: I've been working on this particular oneshot for a long while now. I'm really struggling with connecting scenes lately, which is not something I usually have trouble with. Things have been busy and emotional, but I want to keep writing so I'll do my darnedest. I've got another oneshot in this series lined up before I write the full sequel to Lion's Tooth.
This story follows the events of Lion's Tooth, Noxious, and Fragments, and I would recommend reading them first!
Rating: M
Pairing: Fili/Kili
Concessions
Kíli blinked rapidly as the lights of the city flew by. Buildings towered over the gang, people crowding the sidewalks as the sun began to set. The storefronts glittered, neon signs changing rapidly to entertain a city that never slowed down. Purples, blues and reds flickered all around him, reflecting off of the chrome of the motorcycle and tinting the skin visible through the holes in his jeans a strange acidic hue. Large screens displayed advertisements so high up that his neck ached as he tried to take it all in.
It was an incredible sight. Something Kíli couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams.
Fíli navigated the busy road like they were the only souls on it, changing lanes and weaving around obstacles as they made their way through downtown. Kíli could hear a whir of engines, signalling that the other Kings followed along not far behind. They were meant to take a break for a few days, stay in a nicer room for once and stock up on food and other provisions for the long drive ahead. There were some meetings planned, but nothing serious, and Kíli was looking forward to exploring the city, doing some shopping with his share of the cash he'd been saving in his pockets. He needed some new clothes desperately. And Ori was likely getting tired of loaning out his hair brush and cosmetics. The paint on Kíli's nails was nearly all chipped away, and he wanted to get back to feeling a little more like himself and less like an unkempt slob.
Fíli took a turn rapidly, and Kíli grasped at the other man's waist as they circled into a private lot filled with expensive looking cars. Heavy pillars surrounded them as they circled up a ramp, and even from the outside the brunet could tell what a glamorous hotel it was when the doors came into view. He felt a tiny smile fall in place as the valet walked over to greet Fíli with a firm handshake, not batting an eye as the other bikers drove up beside them. Even a gang like the Kings had friends in high places.
Kíli slid his legs to the side, stretching them out after the long ride. He couldn't wait to walk around and work out the kinks in his muscles. He and Ori had been talking about it for days, seeing the sights, spending money on frivolous things for once, even eating food from the street vendors at every corner. They were all luxuries he'd never had before. Kíli startled as fingers slid into his hair, gripping the nape of his neck gently and urging him to lean back and surrender to a kiss. He felt the flush rising on his skin, wondered if the other man could feel the heat radiating from his body. It was such a simple act but it didn't take much to ignite that desire in him, not when Fíli was involved. He was becoming a bit obsessed, sex crazed even. Some of his happiest moments were spent beneath the other man, or even simply resting at his side. Fíli made him feel…wanted. The brunet craved his touch, would waste days lazing around in bed with the other man if given the opportunity.
It was so unlike him. He'd never yearned for human contact in such a way. In fact he used to avoid it if at all possible. But now that he knew what it was like to feel loved in such a way, he only wanted more. Kíli stared into the other man's blue eyes, once again stunned by what he saw in them. They kissed again, forgetting for a moment that the rest of the gang stood just a few feet away. Kíli arched his back and supposed he could work the kinks out in other ways too. But before he had the chance to say so Fíli pulled away.
"Go on," the blond drawled, taking one more moment to caress the side of Kíli's face. The brunet leaned into the touch with a sigh, enjoying the increased affection. Fíli had been less wary of showcasing such things in recent days, making it clear to any who looked just what their relationship entailed. He was still reserved with his words and body language, they both were honestly. But the blond's eyes often told a different story than the rest of him, and his touch lingered just long enough to leave Kíli wanting for more. In return the brunet had accepted the somewhat possessive actions, growing accustomed to the feeling of trusting another person to get so close.
He was tempted to forgo his shopping trip entirely for an evening of fun beneath the sheets and looked up at his lover through his eyelashes teasingly. Fíli's answering smirk said it all, that they were finally beginning to connect on a level that neither had previously thought possible, that they both longed for that intimacy and could only find it with the other. They still had a long way to go when it came to communication, but it was something.
"Tonight," Fíli promised, and after running his thumb along the corner of Kíli's mouth, he finally dropped his hand and gestured to one of the other gang members before leading the rest inside. As the blond disappeared through the ornate doors Ori sidled over to Kíli with Bifur in tow. The latter was nearly always silent, unable to speak after suffering a horrific head injury that left his skull covered in rough scars. Kíli had been afraid of him at first. After all, he'd seen the way the other man dealt with bodies, cleaning up messes the gang left without flinching. He was methodical and focused on his tasks, hell bent on performing his duty to the gang, whatever that may be. If Fíli asked it of him he was there. It seemed today he was to act as an escort.
Kíli grumbled under his breath as he stood from the bike, locking his helmet in place. He didn't think he needed a bodyguard, but he supposed it was just a side effect of his and Fíli's relationship becoming more visible. If it made Fíli feel better…he wouldn't complain, too much. Besides, Bifur was a good companion. He didn't expect much of Kíli, and he was a good balance to Ori's sometimes overbearing personality. Kíli often spent evenings learning how to sign in the company of the rough looking man and Bifur was quickly becoming another close friend.
It was nice…having friends. Real friends.
Kíli scrunched up his brow as he tried to recall the correct hand movements and signed a brief greeting towards the other man. His motions were sloppy, he was still learning, but Bifur nodded regardless and signed something back in a much more precise manner. A moment later and Ori had locked arms with him, practically dragging the brunet down the busy streets to the nearby shopping district while Bifur trailed behind. People crowded around them, a mix of drunkards, tourists, and locals out for a night of fun. There was laughter all around them, voices shouting to grab the attention of passers-by. The storefronts beckoned to them, open all hours of the day, and Kíli couldn't help but stare at the sparkling knickknacks in the windows with wide eyes. There were garments worth far more money than he'd ever see in a lifetime, whole shops dedicated to items that appeared to have no use whatsoever, and shelves upon shelves full of books with titles he'd never heard of before. Kíli pressed his face against one of the windows, taking in the pretty covers on the dust jackets just inside. He turned to point them out to Ori only to find the other man had continued on without him, already glancing into the windows of the next store.
Kíli hurried to catch up and his eyes widened slightly as he took in the fancy jewellery displayed in glass cases inside. There were several items that intrigued him, though most of them were far too glamorous or bejewelled for his tastes, not to mention the price tags that were well out of his budget range. There were a few simpler items though, that weren't outrageously priced. At least Kíli didn't think so. His eyes roamed over the trinkets, finally settling on one in particular. He frowned, and pressed his nose into the glass unintentionally before backing away and nibbling at his lip when Ori chuckled lightly at his side.
"It sort of reminds me of Fíli," Kíli muttered, a light flush filling his cheeks when the other man smirked mischievously.
"Why don't you get it for him?" Ori suggested with a twinkle in his eye. He nudged Kíli's side playfully and Bifur fell against the window on his other side, peering down through the glass with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't be stupid, why would he want something like that?" Kíli spat, swatting Ori's arm away. Still he couldn't help but continue staring into the storefront. The brunet turned when Bifur tapped his shoulder, signing towards him quickly. Kíli's eyes widened and he glanced back at Ori who merely shrugged and walked into the store like a decision had been made.
"Really?" Kíli asked the man still at his side, and Bifur nodded with a grunt. Kíli looked into the window once again, catching sight of Ori's gleaming eyes on the other side. He nibbled his lip and glanced down, letting his fingers press more firmly against the glass.
Ever since meeting Fíli he'd been little more than a hindrance. He often felt as though he was holding the blond back, getting in the way. And if not for Fíli, Kíli would probably be dead in a ditch. It would be nice to do something for the blond for once, even if he was using money he hadn't earned for himself. Kíli's gaze fell to his feet and his back hunched a bit as he began to feel worthless. Did Fíli think he was a…freeloader?
"You think he'd want a gift?" Kíli wondered, turning towards Bifur with searching eyes. The man straightened and offered him a single nod.
If it was from you? Absolutely, Bifur conveyed through his hand motions. Kíli grinned slightly and stood up a bit straighter.
Perhaps his new clothes could wait.
It was late once they arrived back at the hotel, but the bar and casino thrived regardless. The various machines constantly chimed throughout the area, making it impossible to hear anything unless it was shouted at close range. Lights flickered around them, and smoke wafted into their faces. The sensation bothered the brunet more than he cared to admit. He'd become accustomed to life without cigarettes, and now the dirty air had him waving his hand to clear it as he coughed the smoke from his lungs. It was a mystery how he'd ever thought smoking was a good idea. Yet another thing he had Fíli to thank for.
Kíli weaved through the bodies, occasionally tripping over feet as he searched for familiar faces, until he came upon Bofur and Nori bickering in front of a slot machine. The two men kept pushing each other out of the way to pull the handle down, though neither appeared to be having much success. He could see some of the others at a nearby poker table, and Gloin was settled comfortably at the bar with a frothy drink. The leather jackets and tattoos weren't hard to spot amongst a sea of suits and fancy dresses but there was still no sign of the blond man he was looking for.
"Where's Fíli?" Kíli asked the two arguing beside him, waiting impatiently for an answer. Bofur kept his eyes on the screen ahead as the red headed man leaned over his shoulder and Bifur inched closer to observe with focused eyes. The symbols flashed on the screen, slowly scrolling to a stop, not a single one a match. Both men let out annoyed groans, Bifur merely lowered his brow, and then Nori shoved the other out of the way, tugging his hands away from the lever as he pushed more coins into the slot.
"Let me, let me, your luck is shit," Nori growled. Bofur fell back with an exasperated sigh, finally turning towards Kíli with curious eyes.
"Where's Fíli?" Kíli tried again, and this time Bofur acknowledged him. The cheery man scratched at his moustache and tilted his head to the side before nodding to the other end of the casino.
"Private room, with Dwalin, and a potential client," Bofur spoke before turning back to watch the slot machine. His hands gripped Nori's shoulders tightly as the images began to slow down. Bofur's eyes widened and his fingers clenched as the pictures matched up on screen. The machine let out a loud series of celebratory chimes, and then several quarters slid from the slot into Nori's waiting hands.
"Eh? Already? You cheatin'?" Bofur hissed in the redhead's ears.
"Heh, you'll never know," Nori muttered under his breath, and he was already back to gambling. Bofur scoffed and fell back. He crossed his arms and finally took in Kíli's worried gaze.
"They should be done soon, it's been a while," Bofur mentioned. Kíli glanced at Ori before eyeing the door against the far wall. It was closed, but no one guarded it, so perhaps it would be okay if he went inside. He was still trying to figure out how he fit into Fíli's life and how he ranked when it came to the blond's…business dealings. Would it anger Fíli if he interrupted? What if he ruined a potential agreement? Ori tailed along at Dwalin's side most of the time, but even he kept away for some of the client meetings. And in such a fancy place? Looking like a hot mess?
The brunet's fingers toyed with the little bag inside his pocket. It was well past midnight, and Kíli wanted to give the gift to Fíli as soon as possible, plus he'd been promised a night of lovemaking. At least he thought he had been. Reading between the lines was difficult sometimes, and he might have misinterpreted. He grimaced and took a shaky breath, trying to ignore the rowdy horde of strangers around him. It had been a busy week. He was tired, and itching to spend some time away from it all, in the privacy of a fancy bedroom for once.
"C'mon, he won't mind, let's go get them," Ori suggested. Kíli smiled at his friend and nodded, it was all the encouragement he needed, though his stomach lurched uneasily the closer they got. The two squeezed through the casino, dodging waiters with drinks and a mix of angry and excited patrons. A few people stopped to stare, clearly eyeing the worn looking state of his clothes and ratty head of hair. He couldn't wait to have a proper shower. He looked and smelled like he'd walked in after days lying in the street.
"Maybe we should wait outside," Kíli mentioned as the two approached the door. Ori's hand was already on the handle, ready to charge right in but Kíli pulled him back.
"Let's at least listen in and make sure we're not intruding," Kíli suggested, and the scruffy haired man huffed but lowered his hand. Kíli nudged his friend playfully and pressed his ear against the ornate wood of the door. He couldn't hear much over the noisy casino atmosphere, but there were voices, and they got louder the longer he listened.
"I can hear shouting," Kíli whispered, and his body tensed at the sound of a scuffle. Ori huddled beside him, leaning in close as well. They stared at each other intently as the muffled voices met their ears. It was difficult to distinguish them from the cheering and jingle of machines behind them, and Kíli scrunched up his face and plugged his other ear, focusing as hard as he could. For a moment there was nothing at all, and he thought it might be a good time to interrupt, but a second later there was a bang so loud it left his ear ringing. Kíli flew back from the door, his body shaking as his heart skipped a beat. The sound would have been masked by the casino machines and loud thudding music had he not been leaning so close, but now he could hear nothing else. The same echo over and over in his mind. It was the unmistakeable sound of a gun firing. Ori gasped at his side, eyes wide. His fingers gripped Kíli's wrist tightly and the brunet felt a chill run down his spine as he was hit with a multitude possibilities.
Thousands of images flashed in his mind. Fíli, bloodied, huddled over, at the mercy of another, riddled with bullets and knife wounds. What if…what if he was already dead?
Kíli's heart began to race and he tore his arm away from Ori, ripped out his hair tie, and searched frantically around them until he found an abandoned glass of vodka on a nearby ledge. The brunet whisked it up, sloshing the remaining alcohol all over his fingers and the ugly carpet below. He reached to open the door with hardly another thought, and Ori gaped at him in disbelief.
"What are you doing!? Are you mad?" the other man exclaimed, but Kíli brushed him aside and directed a stern look towards him.
"Go get the others," Kíli hissed, his eyes dark and wild with hair to match. Ori hesitated, and the brunet gritted his teeth, pushing him roughly into the crowd.
"Just do it now!" he urged, and then he whipped open the door and stepped inside. Two seconds later and a gun was at his head, the door closed shut behind him. He'd expected as much, but a part of him had hoped he was wrong, and it took all of his courage not to freeze in place. He would never get used to having guns pointed at his face. Kíli's fingers tightened around the glass in his hand and he knew that lives were resting on his ability to play this role correctly, including his own.
"Oh!" Kíli blurted, forcing himself into a character he despised. He tripped over himself and put a hand in his hair as though he was fighting against a dizzy spell. As his head lolled to one side Kíli glanced quickly around the room, pretending that his heart wasn't racing a mile a minute. He could feel his pulse thudding away in his neck as he took in the small meeting space. Dwalin was on the ground, knocked out, a small cut on his brow, but he was breathing visibly and not sporting a serious wound. Four strange men stood within the space, guns in hand. They were all pointed towards Kíli, with the exception of one.
Kíli's eyes honed in on the odd one out, eyeing the intended target. Fíli was standing tall, though his jaw visibly tensed as he turned slightly towards the brunet. There was a hole in the wall just at the side of his head, too close for comfort, and Kíli tried not to meet the blond's eyes as he took in the state of him. He was unhurt, and Kíli felt some of the air leave his lungs unwillingly. He took a shaky breath then followed along the arm of the man holding the blond at gunpoint. The man was larger than the others and disfigured, his skin leathery from a combination of too much sun and smoke. One of his ears appeared to be partially missing, and there were runic tattoos along his knuckles that almost mirrored Fíli's, but they were clearly a different language all together. He had a distinct wolf tattoo along his bicep, and upon a closer look Kíli noticed the other strangers sported it as well.
So another gang then.
He could only hope they were less equipped than the one he'd become a part of.
When the gun at his head clicked the brunet faltered for half a second, his confidence wavering, but he gathered his wits and bit his own tongue in an attempt to stay focused.
"Who the hell are you?" The large man in the centre of the room growled at him, his face half turned away from Fíli though he kept his gun pointed directly at the blond. Kíli swallowed and let out a throaty giggle, stepping further into the room.
"Somethin' the matter boys?" Kíli slurred, and he stumbled and let the glass fall from his hands to the ground. The remaining liquid dribbled over the ground, and the glass rolled into the feet of the man beside him. It was distraction enough to buy him a few extra seconds and for the gun to slip away from his head.
"Oops! Hope I'm not…interrupting," the brunet voiced, and he offered a toothy smile towards them and eased a few steps closer to Fíli.
"Get out of here," The leader sneered, his eyes narrowing as he shook his gun slightly in a gesture to move away. Kíli was relieved to see the other three had no idea what to make of him at all, merely staring at him in disbelief.
"Just looking for some fun," Kíli said playfully, and he licked his lips and eyed the disfigured man up and down in a lascivious way. The thug narrowed his eyes, but showed visible interest, following the movement of Kíli's tongue for a second before gritting his teeth.
"Well look elsewhere," the man slurred, though his posture relaxed slightly, and it was clear he no longer perceived Kíli as a threat.
"Isn't that one of Oakendshield's?" Kíli blurted, and he skipped in between the gun and where Fíli stood against the wall. He made a show of tugging on the blond's jacket before pushing it from his fingers in distaste.
"I wouldn't go messing with him," Kíli warned. He then made the mistake of looking directly into Fíli's eyes and nearly fell back in surprise. The blond looked murderous, his expression asking millions of questions while at the same time commanding him to leave the room immediately. His jaw was visibly pulsing in anger, his lips pursed in an uncomfortable grimace. Kíli had never seen such a darkened gaze directed at him from the other man, and he swallowed nervously and twisted away.
"Look kid, get out of here before I blow your brains out," the gang member said, once again shaking his gun around lazily. Kíli smirked at him, walking directly towards the barrel even as he felt Fíli's gaze burning imaginary holes into his back.
"'m not afraid of guns," Kíli lied. He let the metal graze the bridge of his nose, and stared down the man on the other end, taking note of the change in his breathing pattern.
"Actually, I kinda like 'em," Kíli added, and he shifted in a way that allowed him to brush the gun with the side of his face. He leaned into the weapon, and then turned slightly to run his tongue along the barrel. He heard Fíli's slight intake of air, and had to close his eyes to keep them from watering. His heart was thundering, so loudly he thought everyone in the room must have heard it. His eyelids flew open as a hand gripped his hair roughly, tugging him forwards against a sweaty body. It took every ounce of his will to keep from resisting the pull.
"You're a feisty little thing aren't you, but as I'm sure you can see, we're busy," the thug drawled, but his gaze gave him away. He wanted Kíli, and so did at least one of the other three. That much was clear. The large man's breathing was heavy, his eyes glued to the bare skin of Kíli's collarbone, while the others were visibly enthralled, or perhaps just too stupid to understand what was going on. It was exactly what the brunet intended. The more they looked at Kíli, the less they noticed the rest of the room. Like the way Dwalin was stirring on the ground, or the strange sounds in the ductwork above them, or how Fíli's fingers had slid beneath the sleeve of his jacket. And of course, every second that gun wasn't pointing at Fíli, was a win in Kíli's mind.
"Sure I can't change your mind? I could show you a real good time," Kíli whispered, and he wrapped his hands around the gun, flicking the safety mechanism back on as he fluttered his eyes and dragged the weapon to his chest.
"Safety first," Kíli teased with a wink, and he dragged the pistol down, tugging the fabric of his shirt a bit lower in the process. The man let out a low groan and shifted forward, putting an arm around Kíli's waist and grabbing his ass. Kíli flinched, but played it off as surprise, adding a giggle as an afterthought. The man seemed to like that and he chuckled lowly and leaned in close.
"Tell ya what sweetheart, why don't you wait for me just over there, and we can finish this up in a few minutes hmm?" he suggested, pointing towards a corner of the room. Kíli grinned and nibbled at his lip, then dragged his fingernails down the man's chest.
"Yeah? You promise?" he breathed, and all at once the room seemed to implode. There was a crash from above and Nori fell through the ceiling, landing directly on top of one of the men standing over Dwalin. He had a chain wrapped around the grunt's neck in seconds, cutting off his air supply and Dwalin took his chance to wrench out the other one's knee with a somewhat groggy leg movement. The door slammed open and Bifur and Bofur swarmed in, taking the third one out with a few shots to the chest. Before the man wrapped around Kíli even had a chance to take action Fíli had thrown himself from the wall, knife in hand. He pushed Kíli aside with a firm hand, and then shoved his blade into the neck of the thug with a growl. Blood spurted from the wound, and the gangster made an agonized face as he sputtered and grappled against the blond's arms. Fíli bared his teeth and stared him down until he fell to the ground gasping his last breath of air.
Fíli stood over the dead body like a wild animal admiring its kill. His muscles flexed when he clenched his fingers into fists, and his chest rose up and down noticeably as he struggled to contain his obvious anger. He moved only to yank his knife from the still bleeding neck, and then wiped it off on the dead man's shirt before standing. Kíli shuddered, his limbs like jelly now that it was over. He'd seen similar things several times before, but it never got easier to shake off. And this time, his limbs were trembling so violently he thought they might dislodge themselves. He nearly fell to the ground, but suddenly Fíli's hand clenched in his shirt and slammed his body against the wall. Kíli let out a grunt of pain at the impact, his eyes widening in surprise.
"Don't fucking move," Fíli spat in his face. And Kíli couldn't have even if he wanted to. It felt like his throat was closing in. Never had he ever thought the blond would look at him with so much hate. He'd been on the receiving end of that stare a number of times, but it was never so resentful, so infuriated. Kíli's eyes burned and he felt his lips quivering as the blond fell away from his body, turning to survey the room with the rest of his gang.
Bifur had already lifted one of the men's sleeves, gesturing at the fully visible wolf tattoo with a few harsh hand movements. Kíli couldn't make them out, far too shaky and unfocused to take them in.
"Warg Riders," Nori commented, twisting his chain around his wrists as his eyes gleamed dangerously. Dwalin got to his feet shakily at his side, rubbing at the slight bruising beginning to show above his brow.
"That ain't good," the bald man grumbled lowly. Fíli paced the room, cracking his knuckles mindlessly as he stewed in his own thoughts. His nostrils flared as he breathed in and out. The room stilled around him, the only sound the scuffing of his boots against the floor. Fíli's eyes narrowed and then he threw the knife down angrily and punched the wall. Kíli jerked as he watched the blond's fist crack the wooden décor. For a short while he had nearly forgotten how terrifying Fíli could be, forgotten that the other man was a killer.
"Deal with this," Fíli muttered, and then he grabbed Kíli by the back of his neck and dragged him out of the room. The brunet gasped and stumbled over his own feet as he struggled to keep up with the hasty pace. They bumped into Ori on the way, and Kíli only had a moment to take in his friend's worried gaze before he was thrown into an elevator. Kíli pressed his body against the opposite side as the blond punched in a key code, trying to keep the distance between their bodies as great as possible.
Fíli's blue eyes practically glowed as he stared at the brunet the entire ride. It felt like it took years to reach their floor and Kíli wasn't sure what to expect once they were hidden in the cover of their room. His heart raced in his chest as he watched the floor lights change. The countdown taunted him, and Kíli thought he would give anything for the base to sink out from beneath him and pull him down with it. Anything to escape from the suffocating confines of that elevator.
The moment the door opened Fíli was dragging him out, directly into a penthouse suite, and Kíli couldn't even take the time to admire the decor before the other man had him up against the nearest wall.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Fíli shouted into his face, and Kíli winced as the blond's fingers tightened at his shoulders.
"You like guns so much you'll do anything to have one in your face? Huh?" Fíli spat. His eyes narrowed as he pulled out his gun, and slapped it against the wall beside Kíli's head. The brunet's throat tightened, and he glanced warily to his left before meeting the other man's eyes again.
"Is that what you want?" Fíli asked. "You want someone to put a bullet through your head?"
Kíli blinked at the blond for a moment, tears clinging to his dark eyelashes and clumping them together. His face remained ashen but he could feel his nose beginning to redden as his emotions warred within his mind. Of course that wasn't what he wanted! But what was he supposed to do? Wait outside for Fíli to die?
Fíli shifted in front of him, looking at the ground for a minute as he clenched his fingers into a fist before he stared him down with fiery eyes.
"This isn't a joke! These men will kill you given the chance. If they knew who you were, what you mean to me…you would have been dead in two seconds flat!" he heaved, his eyes wild and desperate. Kíli frowned at him, suddenly overcome with rage. He wasn't an idiot, he knew exactly what he was walking into, the risks, the possibilities. But nothing would have stopped him from doing it.
His jaw pulsed in defiance and Kíli gritted his teeth angrily before lashing out.
"Fuck you!" he shouted, and he pushed Fíli away with a hard hit against the other man's chest. The blond jerked but his face remained motionless. It only angered Kíli further. The brunet slammed his palms against him, shoving him back further as he got up in Fíli's face and returned the favour.
"You think I don't know that? You think I like it?" He cried, his voice rising incredulously as the words shot from his mouth.
"Watchin' you come so close to death? Or did you forget it was you that almost died tonight!" Kíli screeched. He felt his throat becoming stiff, and his head began to ache at the mere thought of losing the other man.
"You think I'm gonna stand by and watch someone kill you!?" Kíli yelled, and this time he had to pause to sniffle. The first tears leaked from his eyes, dragging down his cheekbones. He could feel them clinging to his jawline, waiting to fall, and Kíli let out a strangled sob before ripping off his jean jacket and throwing it at the other man. It hit Fíli flimsily and fell to the ground in a crumpled mess.
"Fuck you Fíli! I'm so tired of this bullshit! You're…y-you're not the only one…," Kíli trailed off, his vision blurring to the point that he could no longer distinguish the blond's facial features. He choked on his tears, his limbs shaking as he ran trembling fingers over his face.
"I t-thought…," Kíli stuttered, and he fell back against the wall again, this time sliding down the smooth surface and curling into himself on the floor. "I thought I might open that door to find you dead."
The room was silent apart from Kíli's staggered breathing and stifled sobs, and his wrists were coated in snot, tears, and streaks of mascara. He was an absolute mess. There was no way words would ever convey the amount of fear and desperation he had felt in the seconds before entering that room.
Kíli frowned as he scoffed at his own emotions. He hated feeling so vulnerable. He hated that his heart made him act like a lunatic, made him throw himself into danger. He hated that Fíli didn't care about his own life at all. He'd known…he'd known this sort of lifestyle would get to him eventually. That he'd end up withered and fraying at the edges from living so recklessly. He just hadn't thought it would be the fear of losing Fíli that would finally break him.
The slide of metal against hardwood had him rubbing at his eyes to clear them, and he took a shaky breath as Fíli knelt before him and slid his gun to the side. The blond reached out to grab him again, but it was a gentle touch, an embrace, and Kíli collapsed against the other man and breathed in heavily against his chest.
"Baby," Fíli murmured against his ear, his voice silky and sultry as always. Kíli squeezed his eyes shut when the other man's breath ghosted over his face, and he pressed his nose into the blond's shirt as strong arms pulled him even closer and a warm body sheltered him against the wall. That one word was enough to whisk away his anger in a matter of seconds. The way it was spoken, low and in a near whisper, like the other man hadn't meant to let it slip out at all. Fíli's heartbeat was fast beneath his ear and his chest rose and fell at a quick pace. They were both visibly distraught, both clinging to the other so tightly, as though that might get rid of the dangers awaiting them in the world. But Kíli knew better.
Nothing would ever ward off the violence that Fíli and his gang chased, and it was time he started accepting it. He'd chosen this, he wanted this, and having Fíli at his side was worth everything that came with it. He just…needed to know he was worth it too.
"We're in this together now Fíli, you can't expect me to just…," Kíli trailed off. Fingers tightened in his hair and the brunet squeezed his eyes shut and let a few more tears slide down his face. He didn't want to be cast to the side every time Fíli's life was in danger. He didn't want the blond to think he was incapable, or that he couldn't hold his own when the time came for such a thing. He wanted to be more than just a pretty face and a pliant body. He wanted to be a lover and a partner. Someone Fíli could rely on like Kíli relied on him. He took a deep breath and lifted his jaw, pulling away to look towards the other man resolutely.
"If you want me here, then I'm here. For all of it. And if you can't accept that then…then…," Kíli spoke. He couldn't bring himself to finish the statement. Blue eyes met brown, and they stared at one another intently. Fíli's gaze narrowed, and Kíli fought against the urge to lower his head. He had to stand his ground. They were equals, and he needed to prove it. This choice was Fíli's to make. He could leave Kíli behind, or he could accept the brunet's terms and their evolving relationship.
The blond breathed out through his nose, a puff of air escaping as he pursed his lips and scrunched up his brow. A moment later a hand slammed against the wall next to Kíli's head, and the brunet flinched, but stayed put. Fingers tightened at the base of his neck, squeezing the tangled clumps of his hair against his skin, and Kíli blinked in surprise when the other man's nose aligned with his own. It was then he finally allowed his eyelids to lower. His lashes brushed against Fíli's eyebrows and he caught a glimpse of frosty blue before closing his eyes completely.
"Damn it," the other man breathed against his face and Kíli clenched his jaw before hunching in on himself. He was afraid if he let go it might be forever. That perhaps Fíli would push him away and never return. He was tempted to take it back, to agree to stay out of the way if only to remain at Fíli's side for longer. He couldn't stand the idea of parting ways, not now, not after they'd come so far and only just begun to understand one another.
"Look at me," Fíli ordered, but Kíli shook his head slightly and kept his eyes closed shut. The other man huffed and then grasped the brunet's chin, forcing his head up with strong fingers.
"Look at me, please," the words were spoken much gentler the second time, almost frantically, and Kíli opened his eyes in surprise. Fíli's features had softened, no longer contorted by the controlled rage that so often lingered beneath the surface. He was watching Kíli, his gaze roaming the entirety of the brunet's face, and then his fingers cupped the side of Kíli's face and slid slowly back, tucking the tangled hairs behind an ear.
"I'm not leaving you," Fíli whispered, though it looked as though it pained him greatly to say so, like he was cursing them both with those words. It wasn't what Kíli was expecting at all, and he couldn't help when more tears continued to fall. Fíli frowned as he wiped them away, but more continued in their stead, and eventually the blond gave up and settled for pulling Kíli close. Their lips gravitated towards each other, and they kissed languidly until the brunet's face was nearly dry. He pulled away hesitantly, lost in the moment, finally feeling…whole for once in his life. It was strange. Kíli loved Fíli, trusted him, would…die for him if it meant saving the other man's life. He had never allowed himself to rely on another in such a way, or to care so much. Not since his mother. He had decided such emotions were for the weak long ago, that anything that got in the way of self-preservation wasn't even worth considering. But instead he felt…strong. Stronger than ever.
Fíli kissed him a few more times, dragging his lips across the contours of Kíli's face, and then he breathed in deep before pulling away.
"No more acting," Fíli spoke, his voice far more steady than before. Kíli tilted his head slightly, and shifted into a more comfortable position, straddling the other man's lap as he looked into his eyes. The blond placed a hand at the base of his back for support, and Kíli leaned into the pressure as he settled into a comfortable position.
"Acting?" he asked. Did Fíli think he was being dishonest with him? "I don't-,"
"The little show you put on…don't do that again," Fíli drawled, and his grip tightened in Kíli's shirt, his nails scratching against the brunet's skin through the thin fabric.
"Don't pretend to be someone you're not," Fíli muttered not long after. Kíli felt his mouth open in realization and for a moment he wanted to refute the statement. After all, it was his stellar performance that had saved the other man's life. But he also saw the jealousy, the anxious behaviour, the possessive glint in the other man's eye, and his body responded in kind. Still, the little monster inside of him that wanted a challenge and strove to stir things up rose to the surface, and Kíli clenched his legs a bit tighter around the other man's hips as he stared him down.
"Who says I'm not like that," Kíli dared as he lifted his chin in defiance and Fíli raised an eyebrow in interest. Kíli shifted again, dragging his fingers down the other man's chest, and then he made a point of looking towards the gun still lying on the ground not far away, then back towards the other man. It wasn't really the gun that was the problem. It was the person holding it. And…he trusted Fíli.
Kíli leaned forwards, so his eyelashes nearly grazed the other man's face. He took a moment to really capture Fíli's attention, keeping their mouths just millimetres apart, letting the tiny hairs on his upper lip barely touch the blond's moustache. It tickled a bit, and Kíli smiled teasingly when he caught the lust filled gaze staring right back.
"I'd let you fuck me with it if you wanted to," Kíli breathed against the blond's lips, and he held back a satisfied smirk when the other man's fingers tightened at his hips. Fíli's nostrils flared as he breathed in deeply, and he made a strange noise deep in his throat before grabbing Kíli's chin and staring at the brunet intently. Kíli figured he was looking for a hint of fear, for the lie that might be hidden just beneath the surface, but Kíli wasn't lying, and he wasn't afraid. Not anymore.
Fíli grasped the brunet's waist and shifted just enough that he was able to reach the gun. He twirled the weapon in his hand before pulling it between their bodies with careful hands. He made a show of opening the barrel, removing each bullet one by one and setting them in a row against the wall. They clinked together as more were added, and Kíli's eyes followed each precise movement of the other man's hands. Fíli even took the time to make him aware of the empty barrel, holding the weapon up to Kíli's eye level before clicking everything back in place.
It sent a clear message, that it wasn't worth the risk, that Fíli cared, and that he wanted Kíli to know it and feel safe about what they were about to do. A shudder ran down the brunet's body and he felt his chest flutter in response. If he hadn't been sure before, he certainly was now.
Kíli leaned forward, letting his thighs grind against the other man's legs, and then he brushed his face against the side of the gun before turning to run his tongue along the barrel just like he had earlier that night. Except this time he didn't stop, and he watched the blond sultrily as he licked at his knuckles and the finger wrapped around the trigger. Fíli jerked beneath him before lifting him up in a smooth movement and spreading him out on a desk. The blond knocked aside various notepads and pens, hardly flinching as a lamp clattered to the floor on the other side. He only had eyes for Kíli.
Fíli hurried to unbutton the brunet's jeans, and he slid them down long legs quickly, kicking them aside as they hit the floor. Kíli squirmed as his legs came into contact with the wooden desk, but he was distracted quickly when cool metal dragged along his inner thigh. The brunet's gaze flicked down to where the gun touched his skin, inching ever higher, and then he peered around the blond towards the elevator door.
"What if one of the others comes up?" Kíli whispered, suddenly feeling exposed with his legs spread wide around the other man's hips. Fíli was still eyeing his body, taking in the sight thoroughly before his lip rose in a half smirk.
"This room is ours alone," the blond mentioned before making eye contact and pressing a chaste kiss to the other man's lips.
"The whole thing?" Kíli gasped against him in disbelief, and when Fíli grunted in affirmation his mouth fell open as he slumped on top of the hard surface beneath him and twisted his head to look around. Finally, there was no chance of being overheard. He didn't have to worry about finding Bofur slumped over a nearby sofa, or tripping over Nori who often slept face first into carpet, snoring well into the night. They weren't cramped into a single room or two, with a squeaky mattress and paper thin walls, or camping on bedrolls right alongside grass and bugs and every other member of the gang. Kíli admitted that there was a certain dirty aspect to making love in those situations, having to stifle his gasps as the others no doubt heard what they were doing regardless. But the privacy was liberating in other ways.
He thought of all of the places they could do it, the various surfaces scattered throughout the spacious area. He thought about Fíli fucking him unleashed, with no inhibitions, and responding to his touches the way his body craved. Kíli had nearly forgotten about the gun, until it nudged between his ass cheeks and pressed against him teasingly. He gasped and spread his legs wider, and when Fíli began sucking marks along his neck, he finally allowed himself to relax fully beneath the other man's touch. He surrendered to him completely, writhing up into the other man's body, and a loud lascivious moan escaped from between his lips and echoed around the room.
Fíli lifted his head, showing off widened eyes and dilated pupils, the blue irises nearly hidden completely as he stared down at the brunet in wonder. Kíli's face was flushed, his hair thrown across the desk haphazardly, and his mouth was open as he breathed in and out quickly. He licked his lips and reached out for the man above him with trembling fingers.
"If it's ours, let's make it ours, every inch of it," Kíli muttered into the other man's beard. Fíli still looked suspended in time, continuing to stare at the brunet like it was the first time he'd really seen him. It was certainly the first time he'd ever heard him make such a noise. It wasn't until Kíli nibbled on the blond's lower lip, catching the tender skin between his teeth and tugging on it gently that Fíli finally moved in for the attack, laying claim to Kíli's body in every way imaginable. They didn't part for the rest of the night.
The next day Kíli woke with a stretch, his hair still wet from his shower and sticking to the back of his neck. He turned on his side, pressing his face into the wet pillow beneath his head sleepily. He couldn't help smiling at the sight of Fíli's sleeping face just inches from his own. He looked…peaceful. The frown lines that nearly always lingered between his brows were absent, and his jaw was lax as he breathed in and out at a leisurely pace.
It had been well into the morning by the time the two of them finally fell into bed, freshly showered after their fourth or fifth round of sex. It had been a real test of their endurance, but they'd managed to make use of nearly every available surface in the hotel room, as well as the shower. The brunet looked around the room at the complete mess they'd left behind. He felt a bit bad for the hotel staff that would have to clean up later, but he was sure they must have seen worse.
Kíli rolled over onto his belly, sighing happily as the sheets rubbed across his naked skin. Sometime during the night his shirt had been discarded, and he didn't much care to look for it. But he did need to find his jacket. Kíli glanced at Fíli before easing off of the mattress and padding out into the suite unsteadily. He caught sight of himself in the mirrors around the room and flushed at the sight. He looked just as much a mess as the room.
The brunet eased around the desk, taking care to step over the lamp and scattered pens on the floor. He paused to look at the bullets still lined up against the wall, shivering as he remembered exactly what Fíli had done to him with the gun that once held them. He took a moment to bask in the feeling of his well-used body, and then stepped over to his abandoned jacket, bending low to sift around in the pockets. He let out a relieved sigh when a small package brushed against his fingers and Kíli pulled it out and dumped out the scrunched up bag into his hand. A tiny velvet box landed in his palm and the brunet opened it to reveal the silver necklace he'd picked out the day prior.
The chain was more delicate than what probably suited Fíli, but it was the charm hanging from the end that had compelled Kíli to make the purchase. It was a simple revolver, similar in style to the one Fíli often carried on his person. Similar to the one he'd been fucked with just a few hours prior. Kíli felt his cheeks heating again, and he squeezed his legs together at the sudden surge of arousal running throughout his body. The brunet could imagine the necklace hanging from the other man's neck, slinking in between his collar bones to tangle with the curled hairs on his chest. He nibbled on his lip, wondering not for the first time if it was a stupid idea to get Fíli such a thing.
Kíli sighed and stood as he unlatched the necklace and fastened it around his own neck. There was no use in regretting his purchase now. And there was only one way to find out. He made his way back to the bed slowly, his fingers tangling in the chain around his neck. When he crawled atop the mattress it dipped slightly and Fíli grumbled and shifted, his eyes opening slowly as Kíli straddled his body and leaned down for a kiss. There were muffled moans and gravelly sounds as their bodies glided together, and Fíli's hands lowered to grasp the brunet's ass and squeeze. They probably would have been lost in yet another round of lovemaking had the necklace not grazed Fíli's neck, drawing him away from Kíli's lips. The blond eyed the piece of jewellery with a frown and lifted his fingers to touch the tiny gun curiously.
"It's for you," Kíli murmured, voice still low and sultry with its first use of the day. Fíli's frown remained though he redirected it towards the brunet.
"It's your birthday isn't it?" Kíli asked, sitting up atop the other man's lap. The blond lowered his hand to settle it on Kíli's hip, his expression a mix of surprise and confusion.
"Who told you that?" Fíli grunted drowsily.
"Bifur," Kíli mentioned. He ran his fingers up and down the other man's chest, and huffed when Fíli raised an eyebrow at him, as if to remind him that Bifur couldn't talk. "We sign," Kíli elaborated, and the blond if possible looked even more at a loss. Fíli glanced towards the necklace, and shifted back on the bed so he could sit up against the frame. He tugged Kíli closer and propped up his knees behind him, running strong hands up and down the other man's arms.
"You were supposed to spend that money on yourself," Fíli reproached, and the brunet shivered as the hair on his arms rose with the gentle touches against his skin. He shrugged, lowering his gaze.
"I wanted to get you something," Kíli whispered. "I…don't really do much to help, and I just…," he trailed off, his expression faltering slightly as he struggled to explain, but when he finally met Fíli's eyes he was shocked to find they were filled with nothing but adoration. The blond was looking at him like he was everything, like he was the only thing that mattered in the world, like he couldn't even believe he existed, and also like he'd gone mad.
"What?" Kíli asked, his face scrunching up indignantly. Fíli's mouth opened slightly, but he said nothing, instead shaking his head slightly before kissing the brunet nice and slow. The blond eased Kíli down atop the mattress, settling atop him as they continued. There was a lot of morning breath, and minimal tongue, but Kíli was still overwhelmed by the intimacy of the act. He could feel the blond's growing hardness against his thigh, but there was no urgency in their touching, just the gentle press of bodies as they enjoyed being close.
When Fíli pulled away he dragged his fingers through the chain, running his thumb across the charm and settling his knuckles atop Kíli's collar. The silver links dipped between his fingers as he played with them while he took in the tiny details of the revolver a little more closely.
"I like the way this looks on you," the blond drawled, and he smirked at Kíli's visible pout. The brunet lifted his chin and reached back to unlatch the necklace, draping it around Fíli's neck instead before fastening it in place.
"Too bad, 'cause it's yours," Kíli insisted. He received a hint of a smile in response, and then Fíli was pressed against him again, kissing him for all he was worth. Between the pecks and nibbles there was a brush of air against his lips, a whispered thank you, not loud enough to hear. But Kíli felt it none the less, and he grinned, arcing up to mutter a hushed birthday greeting in return.