A New Adventure
Alex- HELLO! people! We do not own Homestuck it's right ful owner is Andrew Hussie who we want to kill right now but still! And yes I did say we, my friend who is Alice, we both did this when we were kicked out of our hotel room and into the bath room /)_- say hi Alice!
Alice- I fucking hate everybody and the whole kicked out of the room is true, so fuck you and enjoy the story. Ps, if I offend some of you I am not sorry that's just who I am. Oh wait, hiya~ okay I said hi.
Alex- See what I live with it makes me sooo sad~ please review and tell me what you think of Alice I wanna rub it in her face. ;P don't be sooooo mean Aaallice~~!
Alice- Oh my Jegus. I'm not that bad. . . I don't think. And you can be meaner then me Alex. But yeah you better review or else!
Alex- Okay now I should just not let you talk in these anymore, sorry were wasting your time, Alice Is ssuuuucch a big talker :3 have fuuuuuuuuun~!
Alice- of corse you would say that. But yeah have fun. . . I guess
Alex- /)_-
Chapter 1
Alice's P.O.V
Okay so, I really didn't think this day could get any worst but looking at humans who look like they had a field day with gray paint and fucking horns on each of their heads just drew the line. The fact that they had their fucking weapons pointed at us just clarified that they don't value their lives that much. And the annoying muffled yells coming from the pathetic twit under me. It's bad enough me and Alex, had this rookie throw at us, literally. We have to deal with this fucked up group of weirdos and humans in weird clothing.
"JOHN IS THIS YOUR FUCKING DOING?! WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PATHETIC LOSERS?! AND WHERE IS THAT GOG DAMN MUFFLED NOISE COMING FROM?!"
I take that back. This day is by far the worst day of my existence. And the last of theirs.
" hi nice to meet you strangers, I'm John Egbert." This fucking Raven haired kid puts his fucking hand out like he wants me to take it. Oh I'll take it, I'll take it and Rip It Off His Body! Then the fucker that called me and Alex losers tries to take Egbert's hand away from me like he knows I'm gonna rip it off.
As I'm about to kill them both an arm is put in front of me. I would've pushed it away if it hadn't been from my partner and partial friend Alex. She looked calm and collected with a fucking smile like this was normal. Everyone stopped and stared at her, hell even the newbie stopped struggling for a moment.
She held her hand out and the boy in the weird blue fucking clothes 'I think his name was John?' smiled and helped her up. After she was up, her hand still held in front of me, she started to speak. "We can explain why we're here." of course one of the fuckers decided to talk. A chick with a fucking eyepatch, really? Yeah, that's classy.
"Why should we trust you mini skirt?" spatted the whore from hell.
I can't take it. One of them has to bleed. NOW!
"Alex, I'm going to-"
"I know, Alice. Just wait. Now this all started with this new comer and us being, well, us."
*flashback*
It's was a pretty normal evening at Stark's pond in South park, I was in my usual routine here. I were growing bored of my usual routine here, it used to be fun here with Kenny around, but when he ended up leaving this fucked up town with Kyle it had gotten bored quickly. Not to mention Matthew and Max had left the house in search of what to do with their stupid lives.
Alex, or Charlotte as it used to be, would wonder off in the morning and only come back in the evening and tell me what the world was up to. I want to- I mean we want to have another trip somewhere, besides Alex was banned from the abyss because she had left and I have no home.
" I got it!" speak of the devil. She was running to me with the smirk I haven't seen her have in months on. I stood up from my seat on the old bench just in front of Starks pond as she stopped right in front of me. I was wondering what news she had today but that smirk she had gave me a thought.
"What do you have Alex?" I asked in boredom even though I was very curious. She gave me a look and told me to follow her, right when I turned to follow I saw a portal appear right in front of Alex and me. A demon appeared out of the portal and gave us a look of disgust and threw something that looked like a human in front of us. " He's yours. Deal with him." he hissed at us.
"Well, that sums up how much of an ass Jack still is. He may have been number one when he was known as Jack the Ripper, but he needs to learn his place now." I said as I look to my right to Alex to see her gone. I looked around to see if she wondered off to torture some innocent soul.
"I'm down here," said the voice I was hoping to hear.
"Alex, why are yo-... What is that, um, thing?" I asked slightly confused on what to call the hybrid-thingy. "Is that is half-blood?! I've never seen one before, well alive anyway. So does it have our powers? Does it have a human lifespan or a fate holder's lifespan? Is it more human or what? It smells human, but it also smells like us. Does it bleed or not? Can we cut it to see? What, do we even bleed? If we do what colors our blood? Can I cut my hand to see? Is it red like humans? What, can we even cut ourselves-"
"ALICE! Quit it you're giving me and the hybrid a headache." screeched/commented my trusted and only companion.
"Oh... What's that word Kyle taught me? ... Sorry?" I replied looking up to think if I was right. Satisfied with my answer I returned my gaze to the pathetic twit on the ground..."THATS IT! That's what I'll call you, Pathetic Twit." I felt something hard hit me on the side of my head. "ow. What the fuck Alex?" I whined while rubbing my head.
"Stop insulting 'him'. And yes it's a male, seriously you need to know when you're ranting and using improper grammar." Alex scolded at me, she was currently helping the guy up from his fall. Freaking out I swatted her hand away and in the process kicked the pathe- I mean guy in the face. I mean you don't know if the creature is contagious or something. When Alex saw what I did she punched me on the head so hard I fell to the ground.
"Alice Denice Knight! You do not kick Dustin!" she hissed at me. Wait. . . Dustin?
"Who the hell is motherfucking Dustin?!"
Alex face palmed and whispered. "you're just like him."
"What who am I like? Is that supposed to be an insult? " I glared at her but I was confused. Who had I reminded her of?
"It's nothing. Just step aside so I can help Dustin up. And by Dustin I mean the person on the ground." Man what the hell. The fuck is wrong with her today.
"So what did you want to show me before this tw-I mean guy showed?" I asked trying to get her off my back for now.
She looked confused for a moment but then remembered. "Oh right I remember come you'll love it. You too Dustin come on." she said running off. I would've followed her if the twit grabbed my leg and tripped me. I went down with a thud.
"You little fucker that's it your dead!" I announced as I tackle that stupid twit to the ground and started clawing at him literally. I heard Alex sigh and run back. She just watched me try and claw this motherfuckers' eyes out as he was thrashing around trying to take a swing at me.
"Okay either I show you what I found, or I knock the two of you unconscious and walk off, your choice?" She asked clearly tired because of me and the hybrid thing's antics. Of course I wanted to defend me self so that's what I did.
" He/She started it!" me and Dustin yelled and pointed at each other. Alex just looked at us for a moment then started walking of while shaking her head in disappointment.
"Just hurry your asses up. I'm losing my patience." Alex said walk towards a place I haven't seen since our first arrival in South Park. "Now I'm going to tell you this once so listen. Don't freak out and NO fighting. Get it" Me and the twit replied with nods and mumbled a 'yes ma'am'. "Fantastic! Now Alice, I am pleased to say that I has found an interesting planet to tortu- I mean observe. Since we're now have to take care of Dustin, we have no choice but to take him along for the ride."
Hearing the last part Dustin started to run away. Not wanting to make Alex even more aggravated, I summoned chains to drag him back towards us. "Hey! I wouldnt if I were you. Whats got you so worked up? Afraid of the portal?" I teased taking note of how the color in Dustin's face drained and then turn red from anger.
"NO! Why would I be scared of some, stupid, dark... Creepy... Freaky portal." he said looking down. He noticed the chains still on him and attempted to get out of them. I couldn't miss this chance to fuck with the brat.
As me and Dustin were yelling at each other we missed Alex summon the portal and set up our departure. "Alice, Dustin the portals- HEY!" oops. Curse gravity and Dustin! The asshole jumped at me and I hit Alex right into the portal, but if I go down he's coming with me. I grab his chains and yank him in to.
*end of Flashback*
"And thats pretty much it. Any questions?" She finished with a sigh of exhaustion. That was better then how I would've explained it. Dustin was still under me and my hand was pushing his head to the ground.
Everyone was silent for a moments, Alex looked at the group of uhh. . . people? Yeah people and then me. She looked at me for a few moments then walked towards me. When she was right in front of me she looked kinda mad, wonder what's up her ass now?
" Alice. Either you get off Dustin or I throw you off." She said. I jumped up from my comfortable seat on the pathetic twit's back. She shooed me over to the group of gray losers,so I had to stand next to Mr. Too Cool and the stoner clown. I watched her rip apart my chains and bring the twit up to his feet.
"So do you believe our story?" She asked walking to stand next to me with Dustin be her side. All of them looked like they believed it except for Loud mouth and Mr too cool.
" Why should we believe you, I mean your expecting us to believe a redhead with a temper, a dude with no strength to get a girl off him, and you a mini skirt? Yeah we so believe you." Mr too cool replies with sarcasm and I swear to god I will end him.
"Well believe whatever the fuck you want shades, but we're here on vacation and I'm not gonna let you fuckers ruin any chance of me having fun." I hissed at him while flipping him off. Alex just face palms
"Jesus Christ. Yup gotta stop hanging out with Craig Tucker. I'm sorry about her she's grumpy because she has no excitement in her life." Alex explains and rubs her temples. Shades snickers at my antic, I fucking hate this guy and if Alex wasn't here I would rip him apart.
"You gotta stop hanging out with Tweek! And besides I'm bored,tired, we got this fucker of a hybrid, and we had weapons pointed at us! I'm surprised you didn't snap before i did!" I yelled and pointed at her. She just stared at me and started snickering, and Shades joined her.
" Dude hehheh you overreact to everything. hehheh I like it here. Oh! Right I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Alex and this is my companion Alice, nice to meet you." Alex. What the hell, first you insult me, and now you tell them our names like they won't try and kill!? You crazy mother fucking bitch.
"Dave Strider." Blondie spoke without sarcasm for once, just to say his name, what a dick. I gave everyone a nickname so I don't need to know their names: Mr. too cool, Loudmouth, Stoner clown, 3D guy, zombie, bitch from hell, fashion queen, goth girl, idiot boy, blue cat, broken, wheelchair kid, hipster Harry Potter, belly dancer, nerd with glasses, and devil's niece. If it means anything I think my names for them are better then their own.
"nice to meet all of you. So uh what are your names?" Alex asked a little embarrassed.
"Karkat "
"Gamzee "
"Thollux "
"Aradia "
"Vrriisskka
" Kanaya "
"Rose "
"John but you already knew that."
"Nepeta "
"E- Equius "
"uh, T-Tavros "
"Eridan"
"Feferi "
"Jade"
"and hehheh I'm Terezi"
"Hey Alex look It's your twin." I said pointing at Terezi. She slapped me on the back of the head.
"Please excuse her. She's mentally not here right now." Alex said giving them an apologetic expression. Who way to go, Alex. Thanks for hurting my feelings. "If you want you can throw A bucket of water on her."
"Uh I don't think that would uh be a-appropriate." Wheelchai - I mean Tavros stuttered out. And was that a blush I see.
"Awww. I change my mind. I don't hate Wheelchai- I mean Tavros." I cooed. Alex snickered and so did Terezi I mean devils niece, yeah I like the nickname better. Tavros blushed r- is that fucking brown?! Wait what the hell!? Why would he be blushing brown?!
"OH MY GOD. Alex, their blood is different from ours! Look, look. Tavros has brown blood! That's so cool. But loud mouth's face was red when he was angry, so does that meant that they all have different color blood? That is so cool! Which reminds me, we still don't know what color our blood is. Or the hybrid's. Can I cut everyone to compare the difference?" I asked and basically yelled in excitement at Alex.
"Alice I swear to cod if you don't stop talking I'm gonna throw a bucket at you." Alex spoke and rubbed her temples again. Wait.
"What the hell is it about buckets? And stop avoiding my blood question." I spoke in frustration.
"Why are you scared of buckets are something Alice? They didn't do anything to you." Alex said to me grinning. What a bitch!
"WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE SCARED OF BUCKETS!? IM SO NOT!" I yelled getting tired of all this bucket talk.
"CAN YOU IDIOTS QUIT TALKING ABOUT BUCKETS!" Loudmouth yelled at us with... Is he blushing too? Why do they blush when we mention buckets
"Where did you h-humans pick up this lewd language? " Broken stuttered
"Well. We're not human so shut your pie-hole." I informed Broken with a look of disgust when I see the puddle of sweat under his combat boots. Stoner c- I mean Gamzee I think looked up in excitement at my mention of pie?
" Where?! Where's the pie?!" He screeched with happiness. Loud mouth 'yes I'm still calling him loud mouth because he is one' face palmed and Tavros told the clown there wasn't really any pie. "But she said motherfucking pie. You can't say pie and not motherfucking have any." Stoner mumbled unhappily.
"Uhh well sorry for intruding we'll be off and out of your lives once Dustin stops squirming." Alex informed. A few of them 'including loud mouth' looked happy, those shit eating mother fuckers. I didn't want to leave yet I wanted to explore this place even though it was as dark as Alex's raven hair.
I am not letting this place go by like a train. " Alex! We are staying I don't give a fuck if these assholes don't want us here, we are staying! " I screeched with all my might. Alex looked a little surprised for a second but went back to her clam collecting self. I looked at the group that I called assholes, boy most of them didn't look happy. Except maybe Too cool, Idiot head, Terezi, and Stoner clown.
Alex turned back to the group of umm. . . People and sighed in defeat. " I guess we're staying." She said with fake enthusiasm. Dave I think it was smirked, Idiot head cheered, and Terezi and Clown boy just smiled weirdly.
Though loud mouth didn't seem pleased by this, not one bit, he opened his mouth and Alex and John covered their ears for what I guessing is about to c- " I AM NOT FUCKING LETING YOU BITCHES BE HERE YOU WILL FUCKING LEAVE THIS PLACE AND NEVER FUCKING COME BACK YOU HEAR RED HEAD!" Loud mouth fucking yelled in my ear. Oh he did not just call me a bitch.
I got ready to yell back but the idiot tried to calm him down, and Alex just gave me a look then went to help the idiot with Loudmouth. Devils niece just crackled creepily and Tavros laughed along with her but nervously.
After a few minutes loudmouth started to calm down, Blue cat or Nepeta I think giggled and went up to me and whispered. " Arewt John and Karkitty the purrfect couple? Buut alas When you came up John instantly was attracted to your Furriend. It's clawfully cute. 'Ac puurrs happily '
Eww what the hell is this fucking kid thinking. "That's disgusting, no one would ever fall in love with Alex, the fucking girls a psycho." Kitty girl just giggled and then started laughing aloud catching some of the crowds attention. She quieted down after a little while and looked at me with a somewhat sad look
" We're all a bit crazy, and there are some exception of sanity here. Like Gam." She spoke softly pointing to the clown who was talking to Tavros smiling lazily. I looked at him closely but I didn't think he could hurt anyone really. After Blue cat went back to smiling and giggling at weird things.
"Alice. Come on Karkat and John are gonna show us around, so start walking." Alex told me and started walking off with John and Loud mouth. I was about to say a comment but decided against because I really don't feel like starting shit again right now.
"Sooo. Where are we going Egbert? " Alex spoke trying to break the silence that had made its way through us, personally I was comfortable with silence it kept the Loud mouth from starting shit and me from pounding him and everyone else into the ground especially the too cool mother fucker.
"We're going to find a place for you two to live, but if not you guys can move in with me and Karka-NO FUCKING WAY JOHN I AM NOT LETTING THESE THESE WHATEVER THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE CALLED STAY WITHIN 50 FEET NEAR ME OR ANYONE ELSE GOT IT!" John had started but Loud mouth had finished.
That's it! I lunged forward at him and he yelped when I brought him to the hard ground, I heard John(?) yell at me to let him go and Alex prying me off of Loud mouth, He Needs To Bleed.
" God damnit Alice, I know he's annoying but you can't go killing him or anything like that dude." Alex scolded and I rubbed her temples for the 12th fucking time today.
"But he's so-.. Aghhhh!" I yelled throwing my hands up in confusion. I said completely ignoring loud mouth and Egbert's presence, Alex just sighed and patted me on the back and walked towards Loud mouth and just snickered and ruffled his hair while he yelled obscenities to her.
"Hahaha w-what the h-hell?!" I giggled pointing at nothing. "W-WHAT THE HELL?! THAT WASN'T ME I SWEAR!" I yelled trying to figure out what had happened.
"hahahaha that was soooooooo funnny." said that bitch from hell said. "You knoooooooow. You should smile. It makes you more normal. Haha." she laughed. Oh she sure as hell wants to DIE!
I turned to see loud mouth and idiot boy standing there with stunned faces. Weirdos, but then again when a fate holder shows any happy or excited features it is quite stunning for mortals. It was the same for Chris- NO! I'm not going to talk about him.
I turn to Alex and look to her in approval to AT LEAST teach this low-blood her place. But when I look over to where she is she wasn't there, where the hell did that weirdo go. I look back to the bitch from hell to see she's slapping herself.
"What the fuck?!" I yell when I see she's also surprised " What the hell is going on?!" the bitch yells, Just then I see someone's behind her and that figure is laughing and moving something, it's Alex moving the strings! Ha serves that bitch right!
She seems to be enjoying herself with messing with them, ' Sup, How's the show? How are you doing though?' She says telepathically while still making The bitch slap herself.
'I'm fine. The bitch just caught me off guard. No harm done but I still want her to drain blood.' I say back telepathically, Just then Alex stopped and released the bitch from the strings, I walked up to her still ignoring the Idiots and loud mouths presence and I was certain my eyes were demonic red.
The bitch's eyes widened knowing she'd gone too far, I haven't felt this much anger since Christophe. . . that's asshole! I stopped and looked at The bitch seeing her smiling devilishly. "Alice. Who's this Christophe guy? Is he the one that made you a bitch or did he reject you and go for someone more normal?" I stopped everything, how'd she know,
" What the hell are you talking about Chris didn't leave m- ... Chris loves m- " I knew I was crying then. " W-why... ? ... Why d-did yo-ou have t-to ...? -sniff- he ... I ..." I couldn't take it I fell to the ground crying. My painful memories surfaced and I was loosing grip of sense. I looked to Alex and saw her eyes and know one thing. She wanted Virska's blood.
" Did you make her cry you fucking one eyed bitch? DID YOU FUCKING MAKE ALICE CRY!? " I saw Vriska eyes widened so did Karkats and John's. Alex never cursed or scream, but I couldn't try and stop her. I was in too much pain of Christophe leaving me.
" Are you ooookay Mini skirt or are you mad cause I insulted your little bratty friend huuuuh?" She said confidently with a tone that sounded so much like Alex used to use when I first met her. Alex was gone in a flash and appeared in front of One eye with a stare that would scare even me.
One eye actually faltered for a moment before she was punched in her chest? "Shut up you stupid whore! I will kill you!" She yelled and punched the area where she had no eye. One eye screamed with pain and started yelling apologies.
"ALEX!" I yelled. I don't notice until then that I was shacking. I hate this feeling. This dreadful feeling mortals have. Fear. I FUCKING HATE EMOTIONS!
"What?! I'm trying to fucking kill this bitch" she hissed
Crap .
I whipped I'm tears and walked to the one eyed bitch " Hey, you okay? " I asked without meaning it. I could care less how she felt.
"What... Was that? She's not human." She whispered shaking with fear.
"Of course she isn't. We both aren't." I said quietly.
I turn to loud mouth and the idiot. "And you guys?" I asked actually with a little concern in my voice.
The idiot just looked at me before passing out cold on the ground, Whatever I don't even care about his well being. I looked to Loud Month.
"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED JUST FUCKING HAPPENED!? I MEAN WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?! I CAN'T EVEN DES- " " Please just stop." I spoke feeling the tears swell again, He stopped. After a few moments he walked towards me and patted me on the head awkwardly. I looked up and gave him the faintest of smiles I could muster. He then walked back to John and waited it out.
'Huh? I guess I am capable of saying their names' I thought but shook my head and passed as sadness instead. I sat there and waited for Alex. After all, it was always like this. Ever since she opened her heart to me long ago.
End Of Chapter 1
Alex- Didja Like It? Please tell us you liked it. I wanna rub it in Alice's Faaaace ::::)
Alice- Ok so just want to say for those of you who read the whole chapter get a cookie. And you should really review. You can complain or whatever. And ps, those rants actually happen. I tend to do that a-
Alex- ALICE! Stop you're rambling again okay so byeeeee ~~~! And ps I actually really love Vriska she's cool
Alice- she was mean to me in this chapter. But whatever, I don't hate her. I mean Vriska, Alex is a different story -_-
Alex- MEEEEAAANNNNIIEEE~~~~! So mean /)_(\ someone save me from the meanie
Alice- said the person who almost KILLED Vriska ... Yeah
Alex- HEY HEY We can't spill anything this is chapter one still we can't say what's gonna happen later crybaby :P boohoo
Alice- fuck you I give up cya later
Alex- Bye my darlings ~~! And shut it I ain't a creeper Alice, I'm like Izaya my interest is in Humans~~! And No More Rants About The Blood Colors /)_-