Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.

Summery: A gunshot wound during a routine suspect chase leads Ryan to learn the real meaning of love and family.

At some point, I will hopefully finish my other story, but until then, may I present:

Breathless

A story of Detective Kevin Ryan

Ch. 1: Expire

Gravel and trash crunched and crackled underfoot as the team spread out in the alley. It was dark and damp despite it being mid-day and sunny. Tall buildings left this reeking slice of city cast in perpetual shadow. Black soot and slime coated the sides of the brick buildings as they edged in closer, wearily eyeing the dumpsters and fire escapes for the perp they had chased into this dead-end.

Kate took lead as always, Esposito to her right, gun at the ready. Ryan hugged the wall to the left, covering them both, with Castle bringing up the rear. The grinding metal of a moving fire escape alerted them to a presence. Esposito swung towards it while Beckett continued to scan the alley. Something was off about the shadows in the back of the alley, how they moved. Shadows shouldn't move.

"Kate." Castle's voice warned behind her as a man emerged from the shadows.

She acknowledged with a slight nod of her head, eyes fixed on her new target.

"Everson." Her shoes scuffed forward as her gun aimed at a thin scruffy looking man who had a handgun dangling casually from his left hand. "Put the gun down. You are under arrest for the murder of Patricia Lewis." Another step forward as the man smirked at her.

"I don't think so, doll." He leered at her, glancing to the fire escape that had drawn Esposito's attention.

Beckett followed his gaze. A man knelt on the landing, aiming a weapon at her. When she looked back at the man, two more figures had stepped out from the shadows, fanning out behind Garrett Everson, leader of one of the local gangs, who had, from all appearances, killed his ex-girlfriend with the very gun that was currently pointed at her.

"You don't want to do this, Garrett." Beckett said, steel in her voice, barely sparing a glance at the two young men – boys, really, behind him, automatic weapons held in shaky hands pointed towards her team. They looked terrified, and the one on the left could hardly be over 13. It didn't look as if he'd hit puberty yet, with his shaggy white-blonde hair hanging over his too-wide eyes.

"Oh, I think I do." Everson took another step forward, challenging her.

"Put the gun down!" Beckett barked at him, refusing to step down, refusing to acknowledge extra guns pointing at her. Backup was on its way, and if they could hold status quo for just a moment longer.

A shoe scuffed loudly behind her. The older boy twitched, his gun discharging with a deafening sound, echoing in the confined space. Shock filled his eyes, mouth dropping into an "O".

A thud and yelp sounded behind her.

Kate reacted on instinct, her gun discharging, landing a bullet in Everson's shoulder, before turning and clipping the boy who had fired in the arm. The crack of a weapon behind and the clatter on the fire escape told her that the man there was also out of commission. She hazarded a quick look over her shoulder as she redirected her service piece toward the younger boy who still had his weapon aimed at the detective.

What she saw made her heart clench. Ryan leaned against the wall gasping shallowly, a hand pressed against his armored vest, red seeping between his fingers. Her gaze lingered long enough to see Esposito slam his weapon into his holster and run back to his partner, a frantic, "Officer down!" yelled into his radio along with their location.

Kate shifted her attention back to the scene in front of her, determined to keep it from getting any worse.

Detective Kevin Ryan watched the scene play out before him as what should have been an easy take down quickly escalated. He hadn't worried when the men emerged from the shadows. He had all confidence in his team, but when the young boys had stepped forward, he became more than a little anxious. Newly initiated gang members, untried, nervous and eager to prove themselves made them jumpy and trigger happy. When he edged forward to get a better angle, he saw one of the boys jerk, his hands twitching.

The next thing he knew was pain. The intensity of it ripped through him as his hand came up to his police vest, pressing into the dampness seeping through it. He stumbled backward into the wall as bullets rang out in the tiny alley. His ears rang as it became harder to breath and he slid gracelessly down the wall, his hand falling limply to his side.

Esposito at his side. "Ryan. Ryan, stay with me man. Bus is on its way."

He felt fingers at his throat: Esposito checking for a pulse.

Fighting to suck in a breath, he pried his eyes open. "Tell Jenny… Tell." Breathing was getting harder, didn't know if he could take another, pain washing over him in waves, but he had to say… "Tell her…"

"No, man. No." Esposito denied him. "No, you tell her. You tell her."

Esposito watched his partner's face grow pale with pain as he struggled to breath. He wasn't going to last, breathing like that. Not breathing. Had he stopped breathing? Still had a pulse. Finger on the artery in his neck. Carotid. The carotid artery. Why he needed to know that at a time like this…

Castle stumbles up, falling to his knees beside the fallen officer, looking at Esposito across the body. "Get him out of his vest." Esposito barks at him.

No breathing. Shit. Esposito sent a glance over to Beckett, her stance tense as she covered them, pointing her weapon at a scared little boy and two injured men, keeping her team safe. Shit.

Esposito looked down at his partner again, sucking in a breath, hands on his partner's head, tilting it up, opening the airway. Leaning down, he pinched Ryan's nose shut, covering Ryan's eyes with his wide palm, covering his partner's mouth with his own, exhaling. The chest rose, unevenly, Castle pulling the detective's shirt off with force, buttons skittering across the pavement.

"Get a glove on." He orders Castle as he inhales, exhaling down his partner's throat, watching his chest rise. The right side rises a little less this time. A sucking sound coming from the wound. Ryan's lips turning blue.

"Put your hand over the hole or his lung will collapse." He instructs, sucking in another breath. Impermeable dressing, he thinks, plastic over the wound.

Exhale.

Chest rises. No worse this time.

One, two, three, he counts in his head. Inhale, exhale. Five seconds total.

Chest rises. Chest falls. One, two, three.

Breath in, breath out, out of him and into Ryan.

Come on! He thinks, praying for the sounds of sirens. The gravel cuts into his knees.

One, two, three, inspire, expire: hating those words. Expire. No: exhale.

One, two, three. The paleness on Castle's face, the blood coating the purple glove pressing against his partner's chest as it is forced yet again to rise and fall.

Steady rhythm, his entire world shrinking down to the simple act of breathing. Breath for him, breath for Ryan. Inhale, exhale.

His fingers slip down to find his partner's pulse again. It's there, weaker than before, but still present.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Sirens in the distance. Inhale, exhale. Chest rises and falls.

Flashing lights in the alley, lighting it up like Christmas. Inhale, exhale, one, two, three.

Men in uniform swarming around them. Inhale, exhale. A man with a plastic mask in his hand kneels at Ryan's head, takes over pushing air into his lungs, and his chest continues to rise and fall every five seconds, another man replaces Castle's hand with a bandage, taping it down over the hole in Ryan's chest.

A moment later, Ryan is on a stretcher and in the ambulance, Esposito piled in behind him.