What dosent kill us makes us stronger

Chapter 1 These eyes cant lie

Disclaimer I do not own Dean or Sam or Supernatural but a girl can dream.

Candra Pov

In all my years of hunting I never thought I could witness something so painful so repulsive, but I guess it was to be expected after all they say love is blind. What a cliché, well I guess love is embedded in clichés. So there it was even after hours of seeing it the images still burning in to me still making my heart clench and my lungs retch. It's my entire fault really, I mean I was the one who had broken the cardinal rule in relationships and fell in love. Now to fall in love in its very nature is supposed to be a joyous experience, but being a hunter does not privy you to such luxurious. It's doable to be a hunter and have certain acquaintances but its best to keep them at a distance to keep your head and your heart separate. In this case I was more then certain I could handle it, I could be the stronger party but Dean Winchester just has a way in penetrating through all your defences. I had lost myself in him more importantly right now he has taken a part of me and I swear I am going to die without it.

A few hours previous

Dean had taken it upon himself to head out to the bar the three had them had passed on the way to the motel; to say he had been pissed was an understatement. The whole hunt had been a complete failure, and to top it of he just couldn't understand Candra's behaviour, her constant mood swings were infuriating he needed to seek some solace the only way he knew how. That left a rather disorientated Candra to her own devices, Sam had tried to persuade her to come with him to the library but she had feigned illness and to her delight he hadn't pushed the subject any further. Now succumbed to her own loneliness she felt rather unnerved. For the want of a better word she was petrified, the last few weeks she had tried her hardest to put up a pretence around Dean so he couldn't see she wasn't her usually self, but who was she trying to kid her mood swings had grown considerably worse she was cranky and lashing out at the most ridiculous things. More then ever though it had affected her on a hunt and she new that it jus couldn't continue any longer, after two minutes she checked the white stick which was visibly no longer white with two distinct blue lines running vertical. The same could be said for the last four tests she had taken over the last two weeks. It was without doubt and solemn certainty that she was pregnant.

"Hadn't we always been careful, no actually there were a few times we just got so imaptient, and he had been so passionate so intoxicating and oh shit" She ran to the bathroom she couldn't contain her up roaring dread, she couldn't be pregnant it just wouldn't bode well. "This is Dean friggin Winchester the greatest womaniser the greatest adorable douche bag I had ever met, and now he is going to be a Dad. He is so not ready for this; I am not ready for this." Again she retched into the bowl this was a total disaster, as much as she knew she loved Dean this would either been the make or break in their relationship. Neither one of them had confessed them three words, it felt as long as they left them words unspoken then whatever they had together however real could go untouched, unharmed. Composing herself Candra realised that it just wasn't practical to prolong in telling Dean any longer. She tried to make herself look decent disguise her puffy eyes with patches of makeup and smooth down her tangled hair, grabbing her jacket she took a deep breath and swallowed hard as she headed out to the bar Dean had been seen taking off too.

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Dean had wasted no time in making his presence felt at the bar after a few quick beers he felt the sweet invigorating liquor begin to have effect his mood from earlier slowly subsiding. All be it he was slightly happier he still felt a bitterness towards Candra's treatment of him off late, he chugged down another shot enjoying the burning rush in his throat. "She drives me crazy, damn that bitch. But god shes incredible. The way she smiles, the way she has all the right words, her passion, the way her skin feels beneath me. Damn it. I can't let her do this to me, what have I done that's got her so riled up." Dean just couldn't put his finger to it, he hadn't been too flirtatious with other woman no more then usual anyway not with her around he couldn't think of anyone else with her, and he had even toned down his constant barking and sarcasm. If anything she had changed him, she had made him a better person. "Wait a minute or is it that she has... yep she has she has me totally whipped!"

With that thought lingering he just had to do something, anything to prove his manhood his worth as the infamous Dean Winchester. It wasn't as if he was thinking the beer was flowing and a pretty honey was propped at the bar and he set his sights right there. "Just a little harmless flirting,maybe a kiss, it won't mean anything. Candra will never have to know."

"So hi there sugar" Dean gave his usual cheeky smile he knew she would have to melt to that.

"Hi there yourself hot lips"

"Ok hot lips, well whatever gets you going babe, wow nice rack." He grinned inwardly

"I bet your a model right, with those legs and that smile, bet your a right little starlet?" He paused taking a sip of his beer, while giving her a longing stare with his impressive green orbs.

"Really you think I'm a model, well wow, thank you, no ones ever mistaken me for a model before" She gave a sweet seductive smile and brought the cocktail umbrella from her drink to her lips and wrapped it around her tongue incising Dean on further.

"Really because I'm a model scout and I think you have great potential ehm what did you say your name was..."

"My names Debbie, Debbie Walters and you really a model scout Mr ..."

"Oh call me Dean no need to stand on ceremony around me sweetheart"

She giggled and flashed an invitefull smile his way.

"Lets say why don't I buy you another drink there Debbie."

The music was pumping loudly but he could barely here it above the pounding of his heart, this was supposed to make him feel excited, turned on but as he kissed the frivolous blonde before him, he felt nothing but guilt and shame. Her tongue begged for entrance and she thrust her hips up towards his in movement to the music, trying to grind down upon him. "What's wrong with me I'm not even hard" Here he was standing in front of a gorgeous woman giving into him on a plate and he wasn't even aroused by it. "Jesus, fuck..." He pulled away from the young woman before him as she tried to tighten there embrace, he ran his hands through his hair. It was then it dawned heavily upon him "I'm in love with Candra, I really Love her, shit what am I doing"

"Look ehm Debbie this has been great and everything but I have to be somewhere, I'm sorry sweetheart another time or place maybe"

She looked at him with doe eyes and a pleading pout, trying to persuade him she leaned back in to his chest and grabbed his collar bringing there lips irreproachably close. He could smell her sweet breath and the lust written in her eyes, but felt nothing in return.

"Honey, your wonderful, and don't think I aint extremely grateful but this just aint what I am looking for, sorry." He knew the only way to get through to this pretty bit was to hurt her, hell it wasn't his usual gig but he needed to find a way out of this predicament.

She fell back uneasy on her feet contempt in her eyes; he wasn't expecting the sting that came as her hand venomously slapped his face. Stunned he watched as she left the bar trying to keep the stinging tears that were apparent in her eyes from falling any further. He squared his jaw "Man that bitch had some bite" He smiled though she had nothing on Candra if, Candra would have caught him she would have packed a pretty punch that would have been for sure. "What was I thinking , I really am a complete Dick" He didn't get much time to contemplate though before his cell phone rang.

"Hey Sammy, What's up?"

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When Candra walked into the bar she didn't realise she would have to adopt a stealth approach but the moment her eyes caught Dean with the buxom blonde on the dance floor she darted for cover. Making sure she was well hidden from view she kept her eyes firmly on Dean, sure she had seen him harmlessly flirting with anything with a hefty rack and a pulse before but this seemed different. The way he was moving her advances on him were carnal, and his face appeared to be lapping the attention. Blinking fiercely she bit back an attempt to scream when she watched Dean's lips devour the woman's with passion, that kissed mirrored the one he reserved for her, the one he swore was theirs. Candra closed her eyes begging this was all some cruel twisted joke her imagination was playing due to pent up anxiety. Once she re-opened them she knew the scene before her couldn't lie there was Dean still in a heated embrace with the most unscrupulous blonde, choking back all emotion she made a break to the exit making sure she was unseen.

Once out in the open, she begged for silence running as far from civilisation as possible even as the heavens open and rain soaked through every aspect of her clothes to her skin she just kept walking. Without coherent thought she ended up back at the motel room, from appearances it appeared Sam hadn't returned due to the motel room being consumed in darkness, she pulled the keys erratically from her coat pocket. It took forever to prise the door open once she managed to fit the key and turn it. In the motel she shut the door and slammed her body against it and sliding down to meet the soiled carpet. Balling her fists she punched into the floor in vain her anger not subsiding, hushed sobs echoing in the darkness. It was only when she saw a glimpse of movement silhouetted by the light shinning through the curtains, that Candra became aware she had unexpected company.