To Lose a Heart

by Athletic-poet

Kallen's feelings while Lelouch dies and her take on losing Shirley...probably not what your expecting and I prefer Kallen/Lelouch but watching one of the episodes gave me this idea.

1. Chapter 1

I screamed as I watched the sword pierce his torso.

I loved him, there was no doubt about that; I had given up trying to deny it a long time ago.

I hated the way he treated me after he lost Shirley, I became the one he focused on and he noticed me so much more.

A part of me was happy for the attention because I loved him; part of me knew why he suddenly gave me the attention and that was because he needed someone to love after Shirley.

Only he never loved me.

I never could decide whether I was happy or not when I found out Lelouch was Zero; it made me look at him so differently and I realized that he was my King but I was only a knight.

He would never think of anyone the way he thought of Shirley; he changed when Shirley lost her memory, even more when she was killed.

He lost part of himself when he lost Shirley, and I wasn't sure if it was just because she was his first love.

Now I realize she was his only love; and would be his only love.

Crying I watched him die in his sisters arms knowing that now he would join the girl he truly loved.

I could already see in my mind Shirley and Lelouch's smiles as they reunited and in a way I was happy but I still felt the sting of jealous because like Lelouch my heart just left me and I would never get it back.