The Following Trailer Is Rated NM For No Mercy!

From the brain dead abyss that is modern children's entertainment, comes Nickelodeon's trademark, 13 Billion dollar franchise, about a sentient sponge with a bigass nose, buck teeth, and the mental agility of a toddler.

SpongeBob SquarePants!

Travel to the land beneath the sea, which apparently is just as mentally defunct as the land above the sea, to Bikini Bottom, (which thankfully does not live up to its name) and meet the inhabitants:

First is SpongeBob SquarePants, who answers the age old question of what would happen if you crossed a block of Swiss cheese with a mentally incompetent beaver.

2. Patrick the Starfish, who cemented his place in history as the stupidest f##cking creature in the history of fiction.

3. Mr. Krabs, a veteran of whatever rowboat club passes for a Navy down here, along with his daughter, Pearl, the result of his uncomfortable and physically impossible marriage to a whale.

4. Squidward, an unlikable bastard who serves as the show's cynic, or what passes for cynicism on Nickelodeon.

5. Sandy, a squirrel from Texas, (Don't question it) who gave up the open ranges and rugged beauty of the Lone Star State to live in this aquatic retard center.

And finally, Plankton, an failed businessman who seeks to steal from those more successful than himself and profit from it. Basically, he's the socialist of the show.

Bond with this colorful and friendly cast of characters, for the first three seasons. After that, watch the original writers and producers abandon ship, leaving the show in the hands of people who don't give a shit. See SpongeBob become an irritating brain rash, see Patrick have his one functioning brain cell removed, and see Mr. Krabs go from an avaricious business owner to Crab Hitler.

So dive into one of the most critically acclaimed cartoons of all time, that is currently on its eleventh season although only three on them are watchable. And witness the show's gradual degradation from a silly, albeit harmless cartoon, into an unsalvageable vortex of unlikable characters and bathroom humor, that Nickelodeon only keeps on life support in order to squeeze money from codependent fans.

Starring:

Usopp SquarePants- SpongeBob

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez- Patrick

Hopalong Nutssidy -Sandy

Crablante- Mr. Krabs

Questionable Parentage- Pearl Krab

Cyclops- Plankton

SpongeBob SquareBrain!

I don't care how popular it is, you know a show has gone too far when the merchandise includes themed rectal thermometers.