Hey guys, I haven't written in a while, so I'm hoping this comeback is fitting!
Disclaimer: Yup, I own Life with Derek. And the sky is red, and Derek and Casey don't secretly love each other. Ha, yeah right!
This is what Derek hated the most about living with Casey McDonald.
It was always him running all the errands for her, him picking up her assignments from school when she was sick, him making sure he ordered take out when she studied into the late hours of the night.
And right now it was him browsing the unspeakable aisle of the grocery store at God knows what time of night looking for Casey's…(ehem) lady products.
It had been one of those glorious nights in which Derek was looking forward to a long day of relaxing after hockey practice. The TV was on, the popcorn was popped, and the cushions were fluffed. His favorite chair that had recently been moved into his (and Casey's- although he rarely acknowledged that) apartment was ready and reclined. That was when he heard a yell from the bathroom.
"Der-rek!" Knocking over his popcorn bowl and cursing under his breath Derek mentally ran through a checklist of the latest pranks he had played on Casey. His last prank, hot gluing the curling iron to her hair, had seemed damaging enough to put him on pranking vacation for a week . So, now bewildered, he called back to her in the concerned manner he always shows toward his favorite stepsister.
"I didn't do it!"
"I need you to run to the store for me!" Casey's reply ignited a flame of annoyance within him. Hadn't he just said he hadn't done anything? What on Earth was powerful enough to send his to the grocery store at this hour of night, when he was relaxing?
"I'm not going!" Derek once again relaxed in his favorite chair, willing himself to forget the spilled popcorn. Nothing would ruin his fine evening.
"Derek, unless you want blood all over the bathroom we both share, I suggest you get your lazy ass off the couch and run to the store right now!"
//
Ten minutes later, Derek, wearing a dark sweatshirt and sunglasses, was slouched over trying to look as inconspicuous as humanly possible for a 6'1'' hockey player. Without giving off the impression that he was there to rob the cash register. Based on some of the looks the other customers were giving him, he wasn't doing a very good job at it. He shuffled down the aisle looking every which way except the section that carried the…dreaded objects…and lowered his hood even further over his eyes. A light bulb somewhere above him flickered, and a small girl further down the aisle was pointing him out to her mother with wide eyes. Derek vaguely noticed the lady had a suspicious look on her face.
"Excuse me, do you need any help?" Derek jumped and spun around suddenly, his eyes darting around wildly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the frightened little girl scream and run into the next row over. The small girl's mother glared menacingly at Derek and followed her daughter around the corner, attempting soothing words to calm the girl down. Derek was still searching for the source of the prior noise, heart beating ferociously.
"Young man?" Derek turned to see an old grandmotherly lady smiling brightly up at him. Slightly creeped out by the intensity of her smile, Derek cautiously bent lower to the lady's height and guided his hands up to grip her shoulders. He displaced one hand to lower his sunglasses to the tip of his nose and looked the old lady in the eye.
"Ms…." Derek glanced down quickly at her faded nametag with a mocking smiley face on it, "…Brigitta? Hi." Derek eyes shifted once again as he guided the now distraught lady closer to the unspoken items, pushing her in front of him as a shield from the girlyness. "I need your help to pick up some……some….."
The lady glanced at the product sitting in front of her on the shelf casually. "Tampons?"
"SHHHHH!" Panicking, Derek turned them around and led them in the opposite direction. Nervously waving to a startled customer, he glared at the brightly smiling lady. Brigitta, not noticing Derek's foiled attempts at getting away from the situation, turned around and went on browsing the shelves of the aforementioned object.
"Back in my day, we didn't have all these scented tampons, you know?" Derek winced at the horrid word and Brigitta continued. "They all seem to come up with so many crazy new things today huh, sonny? Flowery, regular" Brigitta laughed to herself and looked closely at a red label on one of the boxes. "Cherry? Huh, that's a new one. Young man?" Brigitta turned around to find Derek by a box of tissues, reading the brand name over and over as if it was the most fascinating thing in the universe.
"Oh sonny, I'm sorry I'm not helping you out all that much! I just can't keep up with you young ones now a days can I? Here- my granddaughter, Rachel, can probably help you pick out the perfect tampon for your little girlfriend! Oh Rachel!..." Brigitta called out into the emptiness of the store just as a light bulb flickered out.
"Casey's not my gir…Who are you?" Derek, horrified, stared at the blonde girl now standing in front of him in place of Brigitta. A quick glance at her name tag revealed her to be Rachel, a name he somehow recognized-
"Remember me?" Rachel scowled and folded her arms in front of her. Derek's confused look answered the question for her. He squinted his eyes, racking his empty memory for her face and coming up with nothing. Rolling her eyes, (a move that reminded Derek of a certain blue-eyed girl currently waiting in the restroom) Rachel decided to help the confused Derek out.
"You told me you were moving to the states to pursue your lifelong dream of being a dolphin trainer" beat, "…And you told me you wanted to name your kids after Shamu-"
"Rachel! Yes- how have you been? Unfortunately, my application for Seaworld, uh… was late so-"
"Save it" Rachel bit out, " I want to end this meeting as quickly as possible, what do you want?"
"Uh…." Derek eyes, betraying him, lingered too long on the 'lady products' on the nearby shelf. Rachel followed his gaze and then suddenly was all puppy eyes.
"Awww how cute! You're buying you girlfriend tampons! I wish I had a boyfriend sweet enough to do that for me!" Rachel, speaking entirely too loudly for Derek's liking, looked ready to give Derek a hug. Aware of the danger, Derek backed away slowly ignoring the curious looks from other late night passerbys.
"Derek Venturi doesn't do cute! And, again, Casey is not my girl-"
"Okay, do you want the deluxe package? Some variety is usually good, and scents tend to mix well with a perky personality! I can get you a smaller pack- easy for travel, you know? After all, tampons are-"
"That one! Ya… I'll just take that one, and l-leave," Derek quickly snatched the small box off the shelf and tried to quickly but discreetly make his way to the checkout counter to finish his hellish grocery trip. He placed the terrifying box on the counter and glanced tiredly at the cashier, who just happened to be another woman. She seemed like Nora's age, so Derek assumed she would take some pity on him…
"Will that be all for you today sir? We have a special offer, two for one packs of t-"
"Please don't say it- I've had all the misery I can take for a day." Derek watched the amused female cashier scan the box and check the price.
"You know, I bet your girlfriend is totally grateful for a boyfriend like you right now." The cashier pleasantly smiled at Derek as he sighed quietly.
"Casey isn't my girlfriend." The cashier smiled lightly and typed in some number to her cash register. "So it's like that huh? Well, I wish you the best of luck in winning her heart; us woman appreciate these small favors in life." Derek, surprised but silent, looked slightly thoughtful to the lady's comment. "Oh, and do let her know she owes you $6.99 for the tampons and that for a limited time- we will be offering packs with new cherry-"
"Yup. Thanks. Bye." Derek quickly grabbed the bag and bolted from the store, barely giving the automatic doors time to open up for him. The cashier smiled quietly to herself, watching Derek bolt into the streets holding the grocery bag behind his back. The cashier looked back at the empty store and shook her head in disappointment.
"Man, I wish my husband still did that for me."
//
Derek quickly shut the door to his and Casey's apartment to hear a screech come from the other side of the place.
"Derek! Where are they?" Wincing at her tone, Derek quickly brought the grocery bag to the bathroom shoving it into the waiting hand barely peeking outside the door. Derek leaned on the nearest wall, crossing his arms. Casey, a few moments later, flounced out of the bathroom in a huff, slamming the door behind her.
"Do I get a thank you?"
"Dumbass."
"You're absolutely welcome, Spacey." Casey glared and turned back to face him.
"Took you long enough," Casey pouted. Derek rolled his eyes at her attempt at being dramatic. Casey's eyes automatically softened and looked at him affectionately.
"Aw, I'm sorry Derek. I sent you to the grocery store at midnight and you don't even get the proper thank you. You're amazing!" Casey reached out and caught him in a firm embrace, much to the surprise of Derek. Letting her have her moment and feeling a burst of pleasure, Derek relaxed slightly into the hug and let go when she pulled back.
"You know I still don't think of you as a sister, right?"
"Duh, I could never think of you as a brother either." Casey winked and Derek felt a now familiar, pleasant dropping in his stomach. Casey walked a few paces before turning back.
"Oh and Derek?"
"Ya?"
"Next time, could you grab me the cherry scented tampons? Unscented ones are just so…boring."
The End.
Alrighty! Hope that you all liked it! Feedback from anyone else would be absolutely awesome too! Thanks!