Zutara - Scars Chapter 1

I stood in a cave lit by blue-green stones. It was a strangely beautiful prison, not dark and plain like a cell. But my eyes were not on the walls that caged me, they were on my cellmate. He was huddled on the floor with his back to me. I paced back and forth yelling at him, telling him how terrible he was. But he did not talk back, he did not lash out at me like I expected. He didn't burn me or even become angry at all by what I could see. Only once did he speak and that was to tell me I didn't know what I was talking about. But I let that fuel my anger more. I wanted him to hurt, I wanted him to know what he and his father had done to me. So I made this personal now, and I told him of my weakest weakness, my deepest scar. I told him of my mother. Then he surprised me.

As I cried into me knees he turned toward me, "I'm sorry." I continued to hide in my tears as his sincere voice rang through the caves. "That's something we had in common." And for the first time I started to trust him, even the slightest bit.

Then my eyes opened and the sun shone through a window. I remembered then what had happened next. His honesty did not last long and my trust disappeared quickly. He had hurt me, he made me trust him, he used my weakness, then tore me apart. He betrayed me and the others. I would not forgive him.

I crawled out from under my blanket and got dressed. The sun was just rising and I knew the other's would not wake for an hour or two, but I could not go back to sleep. I did not want to risk another dream like the one I just had.

The sun was a bright orange color as I walked through the Western Air Temple. It was silent save for the light breeze that blew through the halls and rooms. The fresh air did a good job of clearing my mind. I headed toward our main campsite near the fountain. I wanted to do a little waterbending, that always helped me calm down. As I approached the fountain I noticed a silhouette that sat cross-legged behind it. I slowed down and wondered who would be away at this hour. I considered that it might be Aang, he probably couldn't sleep from anxiety again. I kept walking. When I was only a few yards from him I noticed that the person had a full head of hair, so it was not Aang. With dread I realized who it was. My chest felt heavy, my heart rate multiplied, and I stopped dead in my tracks. I turned slowly and tried to be quiet. I hoped he hadn't heard me approaching, so I held my breath and took a silent step hoping my loud heartbeat would give me away.

"Don't go." Dang-it. "Katara." his voice was quiet and sounded almost sad. I wondered why. But I composed myself, clenched my fists, and turned toward his still form.

"What are you doing out here at this hour?" My voice was suspicious and accusing, he was NOT my friend no matter how the others mite think of him.

He stood and turned to me. As soon as I saw his scar I had to look away, I was still not used to his face, the face of the enemy. "I am not your enemy," said as if he knew why I looked away. "Katara, please give me a chance to redeem myself. I know I hurt you, I was confused then, but I know my destiny now."

"Helping Aang?" I said harshly. I glanced his direction then turned back toward where I came from.

"Helping you," it was only a whisper and I guessed It wasn't directed so that I was supposed to hear it.

"What?" I shouted and looked back at him.

He looked at the ground with sad eyes, "I can tell that your wounds run deeper than what you let the others see. You're a naturally caring person, but this war has done things to you, twisted you into something that you're not."

My eyes widened, but I quickly frowned again, "If this is some weird way to trick me into believe you are good, it wont work!"

He only shook his head as if telling himself he was failing. "Katara, I know because I was the same way. My mother was the only thing that kept me sane during my childhood, when she was gone I…" he looked at me and I saw that his eyes were full of pain. "Turned into a monster."

I had had enough. "I'm not going to stay here and listen to your sob story, I'm going back to my room." He called me back but I did not listen. I kept walking. My heart ached but I ignored it. I hate him. I hate him and I would not listen to him. He only lies then turns his back on us. He can NOT be trusted.

I felt my heart harden as I returned to my room, where I stayed till I heard Sokka calling for me. "Katara! Get up sleepyhead!" He entered my room when he saw that I was wide awake. "Katara? Who okay?"

"Yes, Sokka, I'm fine, just woke an hour ago, and I couldn't get back to sleep." I stood and gave him a half smile.

"Alright. The others are already eating breakfast. Courtesy of Zuko."

At the sound of his name the pain in my chest returned. I wondered if he had poisoned our food. Quietly I followed my brother, we arrived to see the whole gang gathered by the fountain. I saw Aang in deep conversation with Zuko. I didn't even have to look at Zuko before my heartbeat sped up. I ignored both of them and sat by Toph. She turned to me but her eyes stayed still, unseeing in her blindness. "Aren't you going to eat something?"

I looked down and saw that she was holding a bowl of well-cooked meat. I looked around and indeed everyone was eating. I searched for where I got my food. Then I saw one bowl full to the brim, sitting next to Zuko's bowl. I frowned. I was disgusted with him, and I was sure he knew it. I got up and approached them, I put most of my attention on Aang though I kept a close watch on Zuko from the corner of my eye. "Good morning, Aang, how is breakfast?"

Aang looked at me with a slight frown as if I was interrupting something, then his expression turned to almost surprise. "Oh, good morning, Katara. Zuko saved some for you." He smiled at Zuko.

When I looked at Zuko too he was holding the full bowl out to me with his lips curled up in a genuine smile. I scowled back but took the bowl. As my hand grabbed the bowl it brushed against Zuko's hand. I jerked the bowl out of his hand and quickly returned to my seat but Toph. I ate in silent anger not wanting to know what kind of animal I was eating. For a moment I wished it was poisoned so that I could escape this ever-present tension and hatred.

Toph finished her breakfast silently then said, "How long till you can heal my feet some more?"

I examined her red souls, just another reason why Zuko couldn't be trusted. "As soon as I'm finished eating me can do another session. They are almost healed."

"Good, I'm so sick of being blind." I giggled at the irony, she was always blind, just now she was blind even with her feet as well.

I was kind of glad she couldn't see with her feet though, then she wouldn't have sensed my heartbeat when I came in. I did not want to talk about Zuko and knowing Toph she would have asked me what was up. When I was finished with my meal I put my bowl with the others, it was Sokka's turn to clean up. Then I returned to Toph who had been sitting on the edge of the fountain. I bended water over my hands and placed them on her feet.

Toph laughed, "That kinda tickles."

I laughed too as I continued the healing session. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Aang and Zuko leave. No doubt they would start their training today. I knew Aang needed to learn firebending but I wished he had a different teacher, anyone else, even Zuko's uncle would have been so much better.

As my thoughts strayed, my subconsciously stopped healing Toph's feet. "Hey Sugar Queen are you done?"

He words snapped me back to reality. "Oh, sorry," I said and returned my attention on her burned feet once more.