I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. I do Own Maria, Michael, Evan and Keith though. They're from in my mhead! I swear!
I stared at the sky, it's darkness was overwhelming as well as the music by Ne-Yo that came from my earbuds. I felt heartache and betrayl, but I couldn't cry. We were fighting and it was all my fault. We were breaking apart because...I wasn't good enough.
I didn't deserve this. I came here so my mom could be happy. I came here so that Charlie could have someone to keep him company. Instead I found love with a boy who was playing me the entire time. Perfect bronze hair and deep green eyes. My fingers twitched at the thought of his hair, of course my body reacted him when my heart and mind really didn't want to. I felt done. Charlie was always busy with other things or down at the Reservation. Jacob had this new girlfriend who didn't like me around and Edward's sister Alice was hanging out with old friends who had moved here again... Rosalie and Emmett.
I sighed as the song hit a chorus. "So sick of love songs..." I suddenly felt more angry than hurt. Everyone was abandoning me. My, now, ex boyfriend Edward. His sister. My own Father. My Mother off with her new husband. I couldn't blame her. I left so she could be happy... I wanted her to be happy.
A few drops started to fall on the street as my father's cruiser drove off. He waved and kept going down the street...Probably to go hang out at the reservation with Billy while the game was on.
My head was pounding when my phone went off as I watched puddles form. An old friend from back in Pheonix had moved to California and made trips up the coast every once in awhile. Of course that wasn't so big to him. He was raised all down south till the 10th grade, which would have pinned me in 5th...and while I was in 10th now he had already ...graduated. Oddly.... He was the only one that was really still talking to me and actually knew what was going on. I flipped my phone in my hands and then took a deep breath looking at the text he had sent me. Hey Swan. What's going on? Haven't heard from you in awhile guuurl. Talk to meh.
I wanted to smile, I really did, I even tried but the most I got was a small twitch of my own lips and then, the whole "What's going on?" Well, that made me think about really what was going on... I stood up and walked inside my anger subsiding as I texted back.
Not so good of things, boy. Ed dumped me, Alice is forgetting me, new kids in town are taking over, Jake's gotta new grl whose banning him from me. Dad's never home. So lame! Ya gotta tell me. What's up with you?
I wrinkled my noseafter hitting send. One message split into three...I rummaged through the fridge to see if there was anything to eat. I settled on a bowl of cereal with some soy milk which Is till couldn't believe was in my house. Alice had left it there a few days ago when she barged in and grabbed an old pair of shoes and stayed just long enough to decide that she didn't want it anymore and I just said...sure to leave it there.
My phone buzzed at the first bite. Stupid vibration...Better than the tones that the phone offered though.
Sounds like a lame ol' time, darlin. Getcha ass ovr here. I'll take care of ya. ;]
I almost laughed at that statement. I wanted to smack him upside the headd and ask him why...but... I could only ask the why. Then I started thinking as I ate. What about everyone here... I know it's all changing but... Could I leave them? Edward? - Yes. Alice?...Maybe. My Dad? I didn't think so but...Ah hell. I rubbed my face spoon still hand. I shook my head. I couldn't leave. I felt bal and chain here.
---
I didn't get another text the rest of the day or the weekend.
I sighed looking around the parking lot from my beat up old red truck. Everyone was speeding there way inside before the bells even rang. I watched them all and then focused on the large puddle between me and the school stairs.
Watch me... I'd probably fall in it. Brown hair fell off my shoulders to my butt and Charlie ushered me out of the car. That's one thing I hated about having a police officer as a dad...The cruiser.
---
That day at school was hell. Everyone was poking fun at me behind my back. I rubbed my face at the end of the day. I had walked home again because Charlie forgot to pick me up, or was too busy and even though Alice would give me a ride home with her mom, I just didn't feel like it aymore. She could hang out with her old friends... I didn't care anymore. She was talking behind my back while Edward was making out with Lauren in the the cafeteria.
I almost went up to them and smacked the girl but held back while Angela talked to me about English. The girl knew how to get my mind off of things and she did it well.
On the way home my phone started vibrating continusouly. What...In the world?... It wasn't my mom... I knew her ring tone...
I looked at the caller ID and instantly perked up a little more than I knew I could and smiled.
"'Allo... I'm lookin' for a miss Bella Swan. Is she there?" I rolled my eyes.
"Of course I'm here you nitwit." I heard him laugh. What are you up to today? No text all weekend?" I could tell he smiled.
"Eh was...Busy with a few things. All is well now though." There was a silent moment and then he sighed. "Listen, I know I'm entirely out of line, but I was serious about having you come out here if you need to, or even want to. I'm not trying to pressure you into it either...But... The offere seriously stands." I froze... I thought he was kidding, then thought about it and seriously thought he was kidding. He never joke though... Well, atleast not like something like this. I kicked a puddle and then stared at it's reflection...
"Bella?..Are you still there?..." I hadn't realised I wasn't talking...I swallowed hard.
"Yeah... I'm still here." I looked at myself in the rippling puddle. A chubby girl wth long brown hair and plain brown eyes who looked like complete crap. Maybe getting away would be good..
"You're scaring me with the silence, but that's alright. Listen if you want me to I can take it back and you can just forget I ever asked. I know it's completely not in my place nor is it really right but I mean...Ya know.. Just-" He was such a rambler when he thought he had done something wrong, was nervous, or scared. He was right, it was compeltely innappropriate. I was still 15, almost 16 and he was almost 22.I breifly thought back to how we met. His younger sister who had died in a car crash last year and I always hung out and he was always very protective so.. I could see where he was coming. "Just forget I said anything Bells. Okay?" I blinked. I had spaced out and was already at my front door.
"I'll go. Just....What about my mom and dad?" I walked in the door and ignored the boxes on the kitchen table knowing they were all old things of mine that Ed, and possibly Alice, had already dropped off. He was stunned for a moment I suppose at that question.
"Are you serious...You'll come?" I sighed. He was rethinking this after I had agreed. I shook my head and walked upstairs.
"I'm serious. I need out of here. I need a change. I need...to get away from these people. This town..." A pregnant pause on the other end and some keys being tapped at a speed that came from practice.
"I'll be in Port Angeles on Friday...Drive up there with that one girl... Angela? And maybe even that Jessica gal? I'll pick you up. Be ready. 4:00 infront of that little book shop..." I smiled and listened to the plan.
---
By the Wednesday I had convinced my dad I was getting everything that reminded me of Edward out of the house. He was thrilled after not ever really liking the guy.
My blonde older savior was the perfect plansman. I even got Angela and Jessica to take a trip up to Port Angeles without a fight at all. They were wanting to find a dress for the Winter Formal or something...
I had gotten into a fight with Charlie that morning about ending up like mom and needing to get out of Forks because I did not want to be stuck in a place I did not like at all.
I black Ford Five-hundred pulled up to the side of the street, not that I realised it at the time until a light hearted chuckle tore me from the deep adventure inside Terabithia. I rolled me eyes and closed my book annoyed with the person who was invading my space not even having it connect that I was expecting...Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall build and a small smirk with laughter in his eyes.
"Jasper!" I cried out and tackled him back into the car on the side of the road. He was hugging so tight I almost couldn't breathe but I was hugging him back just as tight so I didn't think it really mattered.
"Hello miss Bells. I see it take a laugh to get you to come out of a book." He patted my back and pushed me off and back to the concrete sidewalk giving me a once over. Red stained cheeks on a round chubby face, same plain brown hair and brown eyes with the hair much longer since I never really cut it..."You haven't changed a bit darlin.'" I smiled. I knew I didn't look good but he was always a sweet one. I began to wonder if he had a girlfriend and if she'd be mad at me...I guess I was staring too long into space thinking because his hand was waving infront of my face.
"If you keep doing this, I am going to have to get you a shock collar. Now get in the car! We have a lot of "catching up" to do on the way back to home sweet home of where Jasper Whitlock!" I laughed and he already had my bag in the backseat so I just jumped in the passenger's side.
---
On the airplane I kept staring at him and I guess it unnerved him a little. His blue eyes were questioning me and I just shrugged and looked away suddenly tired with the passed week's events. I was nudged out of sleepiness when the stewardess walked by for any drink requests. Jasper was reading a book that he had stolen from my bag. How to Kill a Mockingbird. Classic....
"Thank you," I whispered but he looked at me and smiled having heard it.
"What for Bells?" I shrugged and twiddled my thumbs, contemplating if I should tell him the entire truth or not. We were far enough away from Forks to handle the truth so high in the air, right?... I sighed.
"For taking me away from there. I don't think...I don't think I could have handled much more of it. School has been so horrible...Ever since I moved no one really liked me...Except Angela, maybe. With Edward...It was a hoax, all of it. Him and his sister were nice to me but then... It just sucked and I know I sound like a whiney bitch but.. I just needed to get away... Even from Charlie and his work...He patted my hand and wiped a tear away from my face. I hated crying. Especially infront of him. He just comforted me until I fell asleep on the plane and then woke me up when we arrived in Las Angelos.
He held my hand all the way out the automatic doors and smiled into the smog. "Welcome Home, Bella," was written on a car and I blushed. All blood was instantly at my face and I hid behind Jasper. A girl and another boy came out. Both tall, the boy lanky and the girl filled out. Jasper coaxed me out for introductions.
"Bells, this is Evan and Maria. Maria, Evan, this is Bella."They all smiled at me and I smiled back shyly. Maria took my hand and pulled me into a hug, as well as Evan. These peoplw ere friendly. Something I wasn't really used to but...I did feel comfortable with them after the hugs.
Jasper smiled at me as we all gathered into the car and took off.
Evan began talking to Jasper while Maria and I began a very long chat about everything and anything under the sun.
Mostly about how we could do a make over and how there was this new club...I looked at Jasper from the backseat in the mirror. What had I just gotten myself into?......
It had been about six months and Maria had finally got me to come to the hair salon with her to cut my hair that now hung passed my newly in-shape ass. I still did not want to cut it but after a few months, a few too many dares and deals... Well... This is what I get I suppose.
"I still can't believe I'm letting you do this! How could you make a bet with my hair... You dirty... AGH! Maria... Maria.. Are you even listening?..." I glared at her back. Of course not. She was flirting with the receptionist, just out of fun, but still...Wasn't he gay anyways? It had to have been a blast for her because she came over with more perk than usual.
"I'm sorry... but... I couldn't resist! You know me and gay men!" I rolled my eyes.
"Of course I do. They are your forbidden eye candy but you just...have to try." The girl who was supposed to be cutting my hair and came over. I was scared. My hair was my pride and joy. After Six months of protien and oil treatments along with some healthy eating and excersize from all this dancing...Hell it made my hair look good, and my body was starting to look good too, I imagine. A lot of the boys commented...
I blinked. Maria had spoken to the women and both had this glint in their eyes that made me want to run away, but I had to stay put otherwise Evan would have come at me with those big ol' razor sharp clippers.
"Not too short! Please, not too short!" I pleaded with them, then we'd change subject and I'd plead again while the woman washed my hair.
Maria smiled sisterly at me. I swear after a month she reminded me of Alice, but then as I got to know her better well...She was so much better. "We're going to put black in your hair. After that we're going to cut it...Alright?" I nodded and Maria beamed. It was worth it to see her happy
After a total of three hours and fourty six minutes, yes I timed it, we were back home and I was freaking out, only slightly. I kept holding my curly hair in front of my face. It came only down to my shoulders and as much as I missed my hair I had to admit...It's grow on me, this new cut.
Maria and I walked into the house and there was Jasper, Evan and Keith all fussing over a pool table game. I wanted to laugh at them and I did, compeltely forgetting about my new look. They all went to say something smart ass like to me and stopped a moment before blinking and taking me in.
"Holy shit!" "Look at you, you look like a gir!" I wanted to smack them both as I blushed and stuck my tongue in their face. I smiled at them as I did so and looked at Jasper who hadnd't said anything.
"What do you think?" He blushed and looked back at the pool table.
"You look good, darlin." I smiled. Evan shared a look with Maria from the corner of my eye, what was up with them? I smiled at the boys and then went upstairs with Maria dragging me by the arm. I heard laughing from downstairs and a few choice words. Maria shook her head and pulled me into her bedroom.
"Come on, girl! With new hair comes a new wardrobe and some showing off!" I sighed, here we go again...
---
After another six months later I stood in front of the mirror, I was 17 and Maria was just having her 20th birthday tonight before we went off for spring break to see my father. I wondered if he'd notice how much I had changed. Maria came in jibber jabbing on her phone non-stop. I shook my head at her and stood infront of the full length mirror. My hair reached my shoulders now all in curls, brown and black mixed together was slightly pinned up, a plain navy blue tank top and some black jeans that fit perfectly.
Maria in with her blonde and pink hair fully dressed in miniskirt and tube top finally got off the phone and handed me a pair of shoes.
"Come on miss thing! We're out to my party in 5, meeting Evan, Jasper, and Keith. I think that bitch Nikki will be there too, so we'll have to keep an eye out." She kept rambling. I laughed at her when we drove off.
"So wait, wait. Nikki's been hitting on Evan and Jasper?! Doesn't she know that Evan is gay? I mean...I didn't think she was that dumb." Maria nodded.
"Yeah, I mean, my big brother has had the hots for that bartender at the club! I bet she'd hit on Keith if him and I weren't dating. That brunett bimbo...Such a whore. Now as far as Jasper goes..."She gave me a knowing look and I rolled my eyes. Lately Jasper and I weren't spending a lot of time together and when we did it was sort of akward. At frist we were always together...Maria and Evan thought there was something between us after I started growing up a little more and got my hair cut the first time..but...I denied it and as far as I knew so did Jasper.
We arrived at the club in record time and was let in pronto. The people who had been waiting in line gave us all dirty looks. I flipped them off and walked inside. Who cared if I was to see them later in the club, if they even managed to get in. Maria squeeled and ran to her brother who was flirting with the bartender. I smiled and went up to Keith who was talking to another guy. I poked his side and gave him a quick hug.
"Birthday girl is by the bar." I winked and he winked back.
"Good to know. Prbably keeping an eye out for the gay men that gravitate to Evan." He laughed."Bella this is James, James, this is Bella, Maria's best friend." We shook hands and I smiled at him beffore turning back to Keith who within three seconds wa already gone. I sighed and looked around.
"Looking for someone that isn't me?" James asked, I blinked at him and scratched my eyebrow.
"Sorry... I'm justlooking for -"
"Your boyfriend?" Chuckling I shook my head...
"I don't have one." He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"My bad then, I just thought that, well, since you're so pretty that -"He shrugged as he spoke before a deep voice interrupted him.
"Careful James. She's underage and you do have Victoria..." Sighing I turned around and gazed at the owners of the voice...
"Jasper..." I murmered. It had been a total of two weeks since I last saw him and he looked tired and a little uncomfortable but happiness came through his eyes at being there. James cleared his throat.
"Mmm. Yeah, well..." James sighed and looked around. "Victoria is with her family so I've been hanging out with Laurant." He shrugged as Jasper came closer and shook his hand.
"That sucks man." They kept talking about something or other, mostly about things that were unimportant to me. I suddenly felt bored and looked around. Where the hell was Maria? Or hell, where was Evan? I wanted to dance...And I wanted a damned drink. I sneaked off towards the bar and spotted the bartender instantly who came over and gave me a laugh.
"Hey there Bells. What can we get for ya? A coke?" He smiled and waved his hand at the other bartender to grab the other orders as they came up. I wrinkled my nose at him.
"No Michael. I think that tonight, mind if we make it a litte...Eh...Dirty?" He laughed and nodded. It had been a few weeks sice I last got drunk and I was feeling edgey all of a sudden about going to go and visit Forks again. Michael came back with a Midori sour in hand, eyes gleaming. He had so taken a drink! Or so I thought.
"Alright missy, here's the deal. You get tonight's special and keep out of sight for a little. Stay out of trouble and keep the drink and anything else -" He eyed my jeans and a pocket, "-to yourself. Got it?" I nodded, saluted, grabbed my drink and bounced off towards the VIP section thinking about how he knew I had something in my pocket. I shrugged it off after coming to no idea, he knew a lot of things he shouldn't.
Maria was giggling in a corner with a few other girls that I met through school.
"Maria!" I slurred out. Hair falling in my face. That drink had much to alcohol in it and I was sadly, a lightweight. She came over in a hurry cheeks flushed and all, just as smashed as I was. She hugged me.
" I can't believe everyone is here! It's so cool!" She giggled, I followed in suit. "Soooo, before the night is over, I opened everyone's presents already and there are even some more at home from the boys, but! - What did you get me?" My eyes dulled and I could tell they were glazed over. I had saved up some money to by the girl the best stuff on the street. I leaned into her ear and told her I had an ounce of something in my pocket for her and that we needed to find an hiding spot to do a few lines. Just this once, I'd do them with her. She grinned and we both faltered over to a bathroom door upstairs.
---
I was laying on a couch giggling like made and holding on to Maria like she was the only thing that could keep me up. After three hours of dancing, singing and a big birthday cake and bitch fight...well...We were going to hurt in the morning. Keith came over and picked Maria up looking slightly worried about her...Evan was flirting with Michael and James was looking at me oddly. I think that Jasper was getting pretty pissed off at him. He looked so angry and I just wanted to wipe it all away. It felt like such a far ways away to get up and go stop them from starting a fight and I could barely stand up...So I crawled still giggling when I tripped over my own hands and knees. I clutched to Jasper's leg and he looked down at me, I swear his eyes softened a little but I wasn't sure. As a matter of fact I thought I had fallen asleep on the couch as soon as Maria was taken away. James walked off in a huff after Jasper told him to fuck off and leave the place.
"Jasper..." I whined. I despised whinning and here I was doing it to him..."I don't think I can stand up..." I laughed and he rolled his eyes and picked me up holding me to him. Why was he being so touchy? Why was he being so withdrawn as of late. Maybe he was sleeping with Nikki....
"Come on Darlin'. We need to get you home. Maria and Keith are already in the car...Come on honey." I tripped five times by the time we even reached the first floor, I think it annoyed him so he picked me up bridal style and out to the car we went where my best friend was.
I don't think I fell asleep faster nestled into Jasper's lap in the back seat but I woke up scared out of my mind when I was back in my own bed without anyone else there with me. I was never left alone when a night like that took place...My stomach was churning as I sat up and rubbed my face getting rid of the crust that had formed around the eyes and corners of my lips. I groaned and ran towards my bathroom feeling bile rise up to my throat. I clutched the toilet seat trying to force air down as my stomach contents, or lack there of, forced it's own way up my esophagus.
I felt tears roll down my face and reminded myself to never have a repeat of last night. Especially as it all came crashing back down on me. After breathing normally and my stomach grumbling in happiness at it's purge I brushed my teeth four times to get the taste out and jumped in the shower wondering where everyone was.
---
I ran downstairs in what I like to think of as a blur of brown and green. I spotted Maria on the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal with pain killers next to her, Keith talking to her quietly. They both looked my way as I rummaged through the fridge for a bottle of water. My ipod was plugged in and I couldn't really hear them but I could feel their gazes on me. I looked up and smiled at them, Maria smiled back and Keith pulled my ear buds out of my ears. I frowned at him and stuck my tongue out at him.
"Are you alright? 'Cause girl I feel like shit. I don't know why you can be up even...Unless...Did Jasper wake you up?" I shook my head.
" I didn't see him when I woke up. Just ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out." I frowned and took a drink of my water. "Listen...Is he like... Hooking up with Nikki? Or...Just ignoring me? I mean I know he's been gone for like two weeks but he'd usually atleast texts me..." I felt like he regretted taking me in a year ago. Maria gasped at my questions and looked at Keith pleadingly.
"Absolutely not!" She cried. "He's just been getting busy at work and then well with vacation comming up...Actually... I think he-"Keith covered her mouth and glared at her.
"Just go talk to Jasp, Bella. We both know you and him can talk..."I nodded and walked out of the kitchen into the living room and towards Jasper's room. With him being away and everything I just... I really felt scared to talk to him almost. I bit my lip fiddling with the water bottle staring at his door trying to gain enough courage to knock which took about five minutes and would have been longer if he hadn't opened the door.
He looked surprised to see me, I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye figuring it was a now or never move.
"We need to talk." I pushed him back into his room and closed the door and looked at him. Really looked at him from blonde hair to naked long toes. All six feet and two inches of him in pajama pants. I scratched at my eyebrow nervously.
"Look....Do...Why...Are you okay? Are we okay?" I looked at the floor and then up to his eyes feeling heat rise up to my face but still pushing forward. "Because it's like... you aren't here anymore and you never talk to me when you're away...Are you sleeping with Nikki? Maria said you weren't but you never know, I mean she is pretty. She's a whore but I mean if you have needs and all. And then you're gone for so long and you looked pissed last night-" He cut me off with a hand to my mouth. I glared at him but felt the heat intensify. He looked at me contemplating and then sighed after a good five minutes of me calming down before pulling out a manilla envelope. I looked at him questioningly.
" I know I missed your birthday and a bunch of other things. I'm sorry about last night too, I was just... Agitated with that James guy but just open the folder." I did as I was told completely forgetting about James and my eyes bugged out. The first page I looked at was a beautiful house surrounded by the forest. I looked up at him and he nodded for me to keep going. I flipped through pages of pictures, signings and a map.
"You were up...In Forks...Buying a house?! Why? What for? Please tell me we're not moving back there. That you aren't sending me back there... I hate it there." He pinched the bridge of his nose and grabbed the folder putting it back.
"I own the house and it's your's to do with what you like decor wise. Maria and Keith are leaving to go to Italy for an extended vacation and Evan is going back to Florida. We're leaving next week. So start packing. It's your last semester anyways, miss graduating early. You won't have to deal with anyone. Besides, I suggested it to yoru father and he already agreed." My mouth dropped open.
"So you've been distant only to drop this bomb on me now!? Before Spring break? When we were going up there anyways?" My anger came rushing through my blood and I thought I could rip his head off for holding all this back." You could have told me! I just..." This was too fast, and too much and I swear it wasn't real. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths then pinched myself to make sure I was awake in the world. Jasper laughed at me.
" I am sorry I've been distant and not talking to you as much the passed few weeks. I know it's hard but you need to go back and face your fears sometimes. I'll always be there to take care of you -" He blushed and so did I. "But you need to go back and I'll be there...I promise." I nodded after a few moments and looked out his window to the sky. Good bye California sun and hello to Washington rain.
"You have to promise me, you'll never be so distant again? No more secrets and bombshells?" He kneeled down infront of me since I had sat down on his bed to calm down and placed his hands on the sides of my face.
"I will try. But I," he swallowed, "-I might be gone for a little while. Sometimes..." He pulled back and shook his head while looking at the wall. "You have a week, Bells. Start packing and I'll go running with you tomorrow morning." I nodded and left his room promptly seeking out Maria who had a bunch of things to tell me know that I knew what was going on.
----
A week later I was sitting on an airplane contemplating cornering Jasper and asking him how he felt about me because since I talked to Maria and weshared no more secrets I finally realised I liked him much more than just a friend and big brother. I was confused by his actions the whole week between him getting ready with the move and myself. Maria and Keith were to leave the week after we left and...Dear lord, I never realised we could get so much done in such a short amount of time.
Within a few hours I could see the dark clouds of Port Angeles and sighed. I guess it was now or never. No turning back for sure. I glared at Jasper who was sitting next to me asleep. Stupid...Cute...Butthead...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------End Part 1-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is where I decided to stop.
Comment? Review? Tell me what you think. I won't update till I have atleast 15 reviews...Which is pretty low? Either way! 10 atleast. xD I write when I have the time so don't hound me for not updating in awhile. I've got wedding planning to do.
-Signorina