So, yeah. It's been a while since my last story, eh? I would love to give you an explanation of why, but I kind of sort of don't have one. Anyway, this had been sitting on my computer unfinished for a couple months now, so I finally sat down and completed it. I understand that it might be a teensy bit melodramatic, but I couldn't bring myself to change it.
And, for those who are still debating reading this, I promise a potential happy ending. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny With a Chance. Nor do I own Mars, as I have recently discovered.
Destruction
By LiteraryLullaby
She sits as still as a statue, her lips pressed together so tightly it seems as if she's trying to keep her thoughts from bursting out from her mind. He's not exactly sure what brought him to sit next to her. Maybe he just wants to hurt her. Maybe he just wants to hurt himself.
"Hey." He smirks, keeping his disgust inside himself for doing this to her.
She doesn't answer. The only reaction he gets is a slight twitch of her lips as they press themselves tighter. He can only assume that this means her mind is screaming questions and insults at him, while he just sits there, not hearing a single one of them. But oh how he wishes he could.
"Did you hear the good news? Marissa and I hit six months today." He continues.
Her frame becomes tense at Marissa's name. He knows that she hates her. He hates her, too. But he would never reveal that. To the outside world, she is the love of his life, the Juliet to his Romeo, the peanut butter to his jelly. To him, she is the bane of his existence.
"We're staying in at my place. Watching a couple movies. Mostly just cuddling." He says, adding a fake loving tone to his voice.
He watches as her breathing speeds up. He's hurting her, and he knows it. He's hurting himself, too. In reality, he'll probably have to sit there while Marissa whines about how tiring her life is and how many adoring fans she has. Like he didn't already know. He hates Marissa and her lack of modesty. He hates her fake blonde hair and her manufactured Barbie doll body. He hates everything about her.
"I'm so happy." He adds, even though it's the biggest lie he's ever told.
She closes her eyes, and her hands begin to tremble. She's breaking, and he knows it. He knew this would happen the moment he sat down. He wants it to happen, because he's only partially broken. He's like a beaten piñata, held together only by a small singular thread. Her happiness. He wants it gone, because then he'll be broken completely. Then he'll be broken beyond repair, and then he will have gotten what he deserves. He knows exactly how to deliver the final blow.
"I love her." He says, but they both know what he's implying. I love her, not you.
Finally, her wall is torn down. He watches as her face crumbles, falling into her hands as if her neck no longer has the will to hold it up. Her posture breaks, and so does his heart. He can see the silent sobs shaking her body, and he can feel the ones wreaking havoc within his own. But she will recover from this. She will get over him, find someone new, and realize just how much she hates him.
It won't be so simple for him.
He made sure it wouldn't. He made sure he would suffer. He deserves it, and she doesn't. The only way he could successfully end her suffering was by ending her connection with him. Of course, there was always the possibility that the truth would end it as well, but he would still end up hurting her even more. And he can't bear to hurt her anymore.
He stands up and walks out, heading towards the parking lot, where he can just get into his car and drive away from everything for good. Of course it would cause chaos. But the chaos would end, and soon so would America's love for him. No one should love him, not after what he's done. When he gets outside, he finds that it is raining. He's never been so grateful in his life. As he steps into the downpour, he finds his emotions getting the better of him. It doesn't matter, though.
To anyone passing him, the hot tears trailing down his face are nothing different than the cold ones coming from the sky.
As he stands there, not able to move for fear of collapsing, he lets his inner demons eat him alive. His life is horrible, the things he's done are horrible, he is horrible. He gave up everything for fame, including happiness. He had lived under the twisted impression that his increase in fame would make him happy. He had thought that what he wanted most was to be a household name for all eternity.
Now here he is, more famous than he could ever imagine, crying in a parking lot in his own pathetic puddle of self-hatred.
He's made so many mistakes, none of them fixable. He's ruined every good thing that's ever come to him. He's destroyed the lives of every person he's ever cared for. And now, he's laid down the straw that breaks the camel's back. He's broken the girl he loves more than anything else in the world, even his fame. But he's done more than break her. He's taken her heart, the same heart that he fought so hard for just a few years back, and torn it to unrecognizable shreds.
He hears the door open, but at this point he doesn't care if it's Channel 5 News there to broadcast his breakdown worldwide.
But when the beautiful face of the girl he had just hurt not five minutes ago appears before him, he is surprised. She doesn't look as sad as he expected, which strikes a foul chord in his heart. Maybe she didn't care just as much as she let on. Instead, she looks unbelievably angry. Still, he has never been happier to see Sonny Munroe.
"Chad Dylan Cooper, you are the biggest asshole mankind has ever known." She yells, pure undiluted anger shaking her voice.
He feels himself break a little more, if that's even possible. She's the only person capable of making him feel even worse than he does right now. In a sick, masochistic sort of way, he wants her to continue with her harsh words. He wants her to do her worst. Most of all, he wants her to give him exactly what he had given her so long ago.
"You are the most unkind, cruel, evil, black hearted individual I have ever met. You are a sorry excuse for a person, and the fact that there are millions of people who still love you is just an insult to the human race itself." Sonny screams, a wild sort of look in her eye.
He only looks at her blankly, keeping his emotions inside for fear that if she saw the effect her words had on him, she would stop.
"You came to my dressing room two years ago claiming that you loved me. You poured out your heart, telling me every single detail of your adoration. And I, like an idiot, believed you. We were in love for a year. A single year. I thought we were going to be together forever, while you were just riding the wave of fame our relationship gave you until it died down. And when it did, you did the one thing that would bring the media attention back. You broke up with me." She cries.
He closes his eyes, knowing that it's only half true. Yes, he did break up with her to get the media focus back on himself. But no, that was not the initial plan. The year they had spent together had been the happiest year of his life. It wasn't until Portlyn, his idiot costar, noted how everyone was getting bored with them that he decided to end their relationship. Portlyn had since been fired.
"And then, after we broke up, you went on a smear campaign against me. You were hell-bent on ruining my career. And now, just as I start to get over you, you come over to me and pull this. What is wrong with you? Are you really that cruel?" She asks.
At first, he plans to lie and say that he really is that cruel, that he had lied when he said he loved her, and that all of her suspicions are true. But before he can as much as open his mouth, her façade comes down for a moment. To anyone else, there would be no definable difference. But he knew her, and he could see what others couldn't. For a second, and no longer, her real emotions flash across her eyes.
She's scared, she's in pain, and she still loves him.
In that moment, he realizes that maybe it doesn't have to be this way. Maybe, if he tries hard enough and comes clean about everything, he could win her back. Maybe if he would just forfeit his fame for their relationship, it could work out. A warm, hopeful sensation makes its way into his heart.
"I'm sorry. I know that I'm the biggest asshole mankind has ever known. I know I seem heartless. I know that I screwed up every good thing about my life. But I just wanted you to know that I live in constant regret over what I did to you. To us. I'd take it back in a heartbeat." He says, but he immediately knows that it's not enough. The hopeful sensation disappears as he realizes that there are no words he can say to fix this mess he's made.
He turns around and begins to walk away. Anything else he says will just hurt her more, and he's already done enough of that. She remains silent for a long time, until finally, when he is halfway to his car, she calls out to him.
"That's it?" She screams, "I run out here in the pouring rain asking for answers and that's all you can give me? Some generic excuse about how it was a mistake and how sorry you are? I may have been naïve once, Chad, but I don't fall for that sort of crap anymore. Don't tell me the words you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth." He immediately spins around, angry at the accusation of his words being false.
"You want the truth? The real truth? Then here it is. I hate myself. I hate myself for all the shit I've done to you. When I told you I loved you two years ago, it was the truth. When I did it I wasn't thinking about the fame or media attention it would get me, I was just thinking that if I didn't tell you soon, I would explode on the spot. When we went out, I was happier than I had ever been when winning an award or being on the front page of Tween Weekly. But I'm not perfect, Sonny, and I didn't realize just how happy I was.
"And when our relationship became old news, you're right, I did end it for media attention. But even though it was the most selfish decision I've ever made, I still loved you, and it still broke me more than I imagined it would. And yes, it did bring me more fame. But it didn't bring me more happiness. In fact, it made me even more miserable then before. And then when my publicist told me that it would be smart for me to date my costar, I did it. Marissa was more than happy to gain a little more fame herself. I was miserable with Marissa, but I was dealing with it.
"And then earlier this week, that blonde friend of yours stormed down to my dressing room, taking it upon herself to tell me that I'm the biggest jerk in the world and that even though you claim to have gotten over me, you still cry yourself to sleep at night. So I did the only thing I could think of doing, which was to convince you that I was a horrible person and that I didn't even deserve your tears. And just because you're all about the truth, I'll have you know that everything I said in the cafeteria today was a lie. I never loved Marissa, and never will. To this day, I still love you just as much as I did two years ago. So don't you dare tell me that I am lying when I say that I am sorry and that breaking up with you was a mistake."
And the next thing he knows, she kissing him, and he's kissing her back. He doesn't question it, because his lips haven't been on hers in over a year and he's wanted this so badly ever since. She runs her fingers into his hair, while he tightens his grip on her. He never wants this moment to end, and when she tries to pull away, he attempts to stop her.
"I hope you know I don't forgive you." She warns him, though it's very difficult because she must say each word in between kisses from him.
"I don't care." He mumbles against her lips, and he finds himself wondering why he was ever so stupid as to give this up. He promises to himself that no matter what happens, he will never make the same mistake again. But just as he thinks this, she pushes herself away from him.
"Well I do care. Maybe I'll be able to forgive you some day, Chad. But not today. This isn't a fairytale where you can just tell me you love me and sweep me off my feet like nothing happened. You're going to have to earn your second chance. I'm not just going to give it to you." She insists, and he can tell by her tone that she's completely serious.
"So I have a second chance?" He asks, unsure of what she's offering.
"No. You have the opportunity for a second chance. Nothing more, nothing less." She corrects him, though she looks as if she's trying to force down a smile.
He nods in agreement, and she turns back towards her set, as if the whole thing hadn't happened. It will take a while to win her back, and he knows it. But he also knows that in the long run, it will be worth it. He had made the biggest mistake he could have made, and now, over a year later, he was going to fix it.
Hmm, do I smell a multi-chap? Most likely not, since my procrastination has most likely broken records. But oddly enough, I feel inspired by this story. So maybe I will...On a completely unrelated note, I'm currently watching the movie Mega Piranha due to an obsession with badly made cheesy horror movies. I bet that's something you don't hear every day.
P.S. Review, por favor? :D