In an attempt to calm myself down, I took another deep breath, but it just didn't seem to work, "what do you want from me, Nick? Just tell me." I screamed, I had never been this angry with Nicholas before. He was the man that I loved and yet, nothing could stop my rage at this very moment. "I'm so sick and tired of playing these stupid games with you! What do you you want Nicholas?"
"I...I..." was all he managed the blurt out, I rolled my eyes at his feeble attempt. "Forget it." I spat, "I don't need to anyway. I'm Miley fucking Cyrus." As I walked away, I could have sworn I heard him say that he loved me, did I run back into his safe arms? No. Why? Because I'm a fucking idiot. Running a hand through my hair, I started to cool off. I thought about mine and Nick's life together. It had only been a year since we were wed and we were already fighting. I hated it. I hated every single word that passed my lips that were inspired by my bitter mood. I could never hate Nicholas Jonas. He was my one and only and I knew it, but stupidly, I found my way into a nightclub. Only minutes passed and I was surrounded by men, very attractive men. I fantasied about leaving with them and in some situations, it seemed tempting. Very tempting. "Oh My," I thought to myself as countless men continued to grind their body against mine, "what am I doing here?" I thought to myself, disgusted by my previous thoughts. "I-I-I have to go," I finally spat out as I made my way through the pack of muscular men and outside of the club. Automatically, wrapping my arms around me to shield me from the cold air. I grabbed my phone from my purse and searched through the contacts. Nicholas Jonas. My husband. The day I became the second Mrs. Jonas was honestly the happiest day of my life. It was a couple of months after my 18th birthday. We couldn't wait. Smiling at that thought, I could still remember how amazing he looked, I could also remember how much more amazing he looked when he was finally mine forever. I remember thinking, "I get to keep him." It was probably the most childish thought I had ever had, but it was true. Nicholas Jonas was mine to have and to hold forever. I stood out in the cold, smiling stupidly thinking about Nick, until I finally came to the realization that all of my memories with Nick are way more substantial than any of the memories I would have made with the men in the night club. Those memories would be a mistake but my memories with Nick were real and they weren't going anywhere. He was my life.
I sat in the cold alley of the nightclub and sobbed for what felt like forever. All of my make-up was smudged, I looked horrible and I felt even worse. All of those thing is said to him. They were horrible, I didn't know what to do any more. I couldn't just go home, I was horrible to him. What would happen if he didn't want me any more? If he couldn't forgive me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself any more, to know that the only man I've ever truly loved, hated me. Standing up slowly, I started to walk home. As I reached the front door, the sun was just about to grace our skies, smiling at the rising sun, I walked into the house, trying not to make too much noise. I didn't want anyone to hear me. Especially not Nick. I felt pathetic. I was tip-toeing through my own house. I was gutless. I grabbed the piece of paper and pen from the table, I scribbled, "I'm sorry." onto the piece of paper quickly and placed the piece of paper back onto the table as I snuck out of the back of the house. I sat down on the deck, letting the cool air brush against my skin. I covered my face with my hands, letting them slide to the top of my head. "What have I done?" I whispered to myself. I was a mess. I had become everything that I hated. Minutes later, I was bawling my eyes out and as the minutes passed, I became even more and more inconsolable. When I could finally get control of myself, I took a deep breath and stood back up and turned my body around to face the house and suddenly, I was frozen. It felt like I had the wind knocked out of me, Nick was standing before me in a white singlet and his boxers. "What the fuck is this, Miley?" He demanded, waving my note in his hand.
"Nick.." I started, suddenly aware that I had nothing to say to him. "I can't do this with you right now." I finally spat out.
"Can't or won't?" He asked in the same voice. This voice scared me, it felt like he hated me.
"Both." I answered cowardly.
"No. You are not getting out of this that easily. Yesterday, you were mad at me for something that happened years ago and now I'm not allowed to be angry at you? I married you because I thought that our relationship was so much stronger than it was before, but obviously I was wrong. I can't even look away for a minute because you're worried that I'm not paying enough attention to you or that I don't care. I do care! Why else would be here? Why would I marry you? Why? I'll tell you why because I obviously thought we had moved past this stupid stage. I thought we were done with the fucking games." I had never seen Nicholas so angry and it scared the crap out of me. I could feel the tears in my eyes welling up but I wiped them away before they could leave my eye.
Sighing to myself, "here's the truth..." I said, taking a deep breath, "I love you." I admitted, knowing that it wouldn't fix anything, but he had the right to know. "I'm sorry for everything bad I've ever done to you and I hope that you can forgive me because I could never, ever love anyone as much as I love you." I blurted out, "I-I-I just don't want you to get sick of me. It's not healthy for anyone to love someone as much as I love you. It's not going to last, everyone is waiting for us to get a divorce and last night, that could have been a real possibility and I just can't do it anymore. I just can't feel like I keep losing you. I won't be able to handle it, I'm not strong like you are. I'm weak." Before I finished speaking, I realized that there were tears streaming down my face. I quickly covered my face with my hands and gently cried into them. A minute later, I felt Nick's muscular hands around me.
"Miley, Miley, Miley. What am I going to do with you?" He asked with a slight chuckle.
I looked up at him, confused. "What's so funny?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"Where did you get the idea that you would lose me?" He asked with an amused look on his face, I shrugged my shoulders as I buried my face in his chest once again. He leaned down to place his lips closer to my ear. "Miley Jonas, you will never lose me. I love you too much to let that happen." He whispered as a huge smile appeared on my face, I squeezed him gently. "I love you, Nicholas Jonas." I murmured against his chest.
Reviews? Please let me know what you thought :)