Designated Driver
By
The Queen's General
It was a little after eleven on New Years eve and some of the guys from the bureau had decided to get together for a few drinks down at the pub.
"I'm telling you Agent Tony, I'm a chick magnet," a very drunk Agent George Myers stated as he walked out into the parking lot followed by the other intoxicated agents. "I can get any woman I want."
Tony snorted. "You aren't no magnet, Ferrari here is the magnet," he said pointing in the direction of Agent Parks.
"Only because of the piece of junk he drives around in," Myers retorted.
"I suggest you watch it paper weight," Parks pointed a finger at Myers.
"Who are you calling a paper weight?!" Myers swiped the finger away.
"Alright that's enough," Agent Dean Fuller, who was Myers designated driver, said stepping between the them. "George get in the car."
"You are sooo lucky that he stopped me when he did, because you would have been pavement mush." Myers gave Parks one last glare before heading in the direction of the car.
"You know you always know how to spoil a bit of excitement," Agent Jack said as he slung an arm over Fuller's shoulder.
"Yeah there could have been a bit of money made out of their disagreement." Tony stated.
"George isn't a beating horse." Fuller pushed Jack's arm off his shoulder. "And it's getting late, I've got to take him home so I'll see you lot at work."
Fuller didn't give them time to answer, he jogged over to his friend and helped direct him to their car. After getting Myers settled in the front seat, Fuller pulled out the keys and went to put them in the ignition when there came a knock on his window.
Looking out he saw Tony standing there with Jack and Parks behind him. Tony made the motion of whining down the window.
"Hello!" Myers shouted as he leaned over in front of Fuller and waved to the others.
"George get back in your seat!" Fuller said pushing him over, then the knock on the window came again. Fuller turned back to the window with a sigh and started to whined it down knowing that they wouldn't leave until he did.
"What?" He asked getting annoyed.
"We need a lift," Tony said.
"No," Fuller replied bluntly.
"But you're the designated driver," Parks spoke up.
"Only for George," Fuller replied. "Call a taxi."
"Hey George can we have a lift?" Jack yelled.
"Sure hop in!" Myers yelled back.
Before Fuller could protest three intoxicated agents climbed into the four seated car.
"Floor it handsome!" Jack shouted.
"No!" Fuller replied. "This car is too full."
Suddenly there was a click and the barrel of a handgun came into view. "The pretty boy said drive," Parks murmured in Fuller's ear from behind.
Fuller swallowed. "Do you always carry a gun?"
"Yes, now drive."
Fuller put the keys in the ignition and started the engine, putting the car in gear he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main street.
It was only fifteen minutes into the trip with everybody singing a very out of tune song, everybody except Fuller who was trying to concentrate on the road ahead, when a police car came into view at the next intersection.
Fuller bit his lip as he came to a stop at the red light. He hoped that the cop wouldn't notice all the noise.
"Hey Myers! I'll give you a thousand dollars if you flash those cops your butt!" Parks dared.
"George no!" Fuller protested, but it was already to late.
"Hey coppers!" Tony yelled from the back, as Myers pulled down his pants and stuck his rear out the front window.
Suddenly the sirens on the police car started to flash.
"Floor it!" Parks order jabbing the gun in the back of Fuller head.
Fuller slammed his foot on the accelerator and the vehicle took off with a squeal of tyres.
The police car sirens wailed as it began to chase them. "Faster they're gaining!" Parks ordered as Fuller weaved in and out of the traffic.
"I going as fast as I can!" Fuller yelled.
"Go left! Go left!" Jack suddenly shouted
"No right!" Tony cried. "Scully lives that way!"
Without warning Myers grabbed the steering wheel and jerked it towards him, sending the car veering around a corner.
Fuller grabbed the wheel back as the car swerved all over the road. He managed to get it back under control when suddenly, "Scully's house!" echoed in the car.
Myers grabbed the wheel again and jerked the car onto Scully's front lawn knocking over the trash cans and tearing up the grass, before finally crashing into a with a thump. Everybody clambered out and up to her front door, except Fuller who sat in the driver's seat trembling as the flashing lights of the police came into view.
He was never, ever, ever going to be a designated driver again.
END
Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Files,
Agent George Myers and Fuller belong to The X-Filer.
Agent Tony and Jack belong to Fictionnaire
Agent Parks belong to Daniel Addiction.
I just want to say thank you to all that read this story and review it. I hope you enjoy it.