A/N: after the longest time, I have written and posted a story! Let's all take this moment to be happy…okay! This story is inspired by "What if You" by Joshua Radin. Here is a link to the song off of YouTube: .com/watch?v=l4hpS4QNHX4
Summary: Edward writes a letter to Bella explaining why he left during their senior year. After their encounter with the Volturi, Edward finds and rereads the note after finding it near Bella while she sleeps.
The Plight of a Lost Angel
My Life; My Everything; My Bella; My All–
How could I let you in harm's way? To be cold; cold as me; cold as death? No – it shall not be – it will not be – it cannot be. Never; not with my last dying breath.
I doubt you shall find this; I hope you do not. A clean break will heal. Memories will fade, although my love for you shall not. It is a price I will pay, a burden I will bear to know you live a normal life, a happy one. To find one you love and live a long, prosperous life, to grow old; to mother a beautiful child – a life I cannot give you.
Know this is the only way for you to truly be free. Know I love you with my very essence. To leave you is to forge a path to my darkest nightmares – one I cannot escape. But I find solace in your happiness. Know that if I could be human – to be warm as you – I would take the chance, any chance, in a heartbeat.
My darling Bella: live; laugh; love; Be Happy. I am sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry for what I am. Sorry for the trouble I have caused. Sorry you have been trapped. Sorry I could not be more.
Know I will always love you –
Be Safe
Running up into my sanctuary, I gazed at my angel's serene face. Her delicate hand clutched a crumpled piece of paper. Gently, I pry the letter from her hand as she mumbled in her sleep.
Horror filled my face; guilt consumed my heart as I was, yet again, reminded of my gravest mistake. Perfect memory. To never forget the emotions, the heartbreak – a broken angel patched together by a dog.
I knew it was the only way to protect her from myself. The moment I uttered the words to set her free, I watched her – for the night. The night she had shattered – I had broke her. She slept restlessly, tossing in her sleep. Instinctively I went to comfort my sleeping angel. I had to stop– she will heal. The rustling stopped. The night – first light I shall leave. My long-dead heart died once again– to know the end was upon us. Frantically I memorized her face, her scent, her being. How did I live? How will I live with this memory?
My name. My Angel calls my name. After all I have done, I do not deserve this. But her love I still receive. Maybe, maybe there is hope – a future.
A heaven with my Angel – my Beautiful Angel Bella.