1 Reason for not doing the washing up

Disclaimer: Ok sorry this is going to be long, we don't in any way own Jareth, the Labyrinth, goblins, fireys etc etc. Oh sorry we don't own kit kats either DAMN! But we do own Susan, Sarah (nothing like Sarah of the Labyrinth), Suzie, Kate, Martha and me Rhiannon!

Chapter one – Gatecrashed

Place: Lampeter University

Time: 19:56

Date: Who knows!

We were staking out the crèche in Martha's car, all six of us looking for criminals. Yes they start off young nowadays. Meanwhile we were eating kit kats and drinking steaming hot mugs of tea, wondering why Sarah did not like foot fetishes. Outside it started to rain (as per usual!). Suddenly a blast of music destroyed the silence.

'What the hell is that!? Have you knocked that bloody radio on again?' Martha screamed.

The car began to bounce across the car park.

From the back Susan who was stuck under Martha who decided to drape herself over the back seat even though four others were back there and the drivers seat was free, shouted over the racket,

'Hey hey I'm so enjoying this!'

'Shut up Susan!' everyone screamed. Actually there was only two screams. The others were of course muffled.

God her mind seems to be getting dirtier day by day!

Piling out of the car, we dragged Susan with us through the quagmire that started to form around Martha's car.

'Who's in our kitchen?' asked Susan.

Kate looked around and began to count everyone

'One, two, three…six, no everyones here'.

'Well someone's in our kitchen! Aw I know burglars!' Sarah started jumping up and down excitedly.

We hurried back to investigate, with Sarah muttering all the horrible things she would do to them. The Labyrinth soundtrack blared through the open window of our kitchen. Rhiannon wondered why no one else was around, but then realised that Greek night was on tonight and tequila was 90p a shot. Entering the hall everyone fell over each other trying to clamber up the stairs. The noise began to get louder and louder with every step. Thank God for tequila being 90p!

Bursting through the kitchen the five of us surveyed the scene of chaos. Kate pushed through from the back to have a look.

'Bloody hell!' remarked Rhiannon with a smile on her face.

Kate stopped dead.

'Oh! Pinch me! Oh pinch me quick!'

The kitchen was filled to burst. Goblins ran around everywhere giggling. Dwarves were raiding the fridge, while a couple of very drunk fireys where hanging from the ceiling. Stood in the centre of the room, in all his magnificent glory stood Jareth the Goblin King. He was not smiling; his eyes were fixed on the occupants of the room.

'Do you want a holiday….in the bog of eternal stench! I've warned you before! Who's kitchen is this anyway?'

'Actually its ours' Sarah said through gritted teeth.

His head turned in vague surprise and gave a smug grin,

'I will deal with you in a minute'

Suzie and Susan grabbed Sarah by the arms to hold her back. She really wanted to hit Jareth right in that smug face. Rhiannon looked across at Sarah and muttered under her breath,

'Don't damage him I'll deal with him later'.

The storm outside began to get wilder, as did the occupants of the kitchen. Jareth sighed. With a flick of his wrist a crystal appeared. A hush fell over the room as he banished his subject's back to the Underground. He turned around with an arrogant sneer.

'Now what is it you want?'

Sarah looked at the dirty mound of dishes and exploded,

'What the hell are you doing in our kitchen, you have a party and we are not invited! Not only that you decide to leave a great mound of bloody washing up'.

Jareth began to chuckle,

'Don't you know I'm royalty?!'

Martha lunged forward and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him out of the door and threw him down the stairs.

'Well that's got rid of him. I'll be there in a minute just going to the loo'.

She said while slamming the door shut with her foot.

The rest of us trooped back inside.

'Oh God! One of the fireys left his eyeballs behind' grimaced Kate.

'Balls?' Shrieked Susan

Susie to this turned around from the sink and shouted at Susan.

A crack of thunder rattled the windows as the lights dimmed and the door slammed shut. Jareth reappeared lounging against the fridge, his features being lit up by the lightning that raced across the sky. His eyes glittered dangerously. Everyone began to back up against the wall.

'You really think you're a match for me ?' smirked Jareth.

Rhiannon who had been standing there clenching her fists jumped forward,

'Who the hell do you think you are, you can't just waltz in here! Where's Martha I want her back here right now! Even if I called you every name under the sun none of them could really describe you, you bloody bloody….'

'What a pity!' Jareth said with a smile that was icy. 'You know exactly where she is'.

'Are you gonna keep quoting the entire film at us, and bore us to death or are you actually going to do something?' Kate said with an attitude that matched his own.

With a scowl Jareth produced a crystal.

'Fine you have 13 hours to complete the Labyrinth'.

'Woah hang on a minute what do we get out of it' interrupted Suzie.

'I know if we complete it you must wash the dishes, wearing these' said Rhiannon holding up a pair of pink rubber gloves.

'Just those?' Susan asked.

Jareth raised an eyebrow and threw a crystal into the air.

'As you wish'.

The crystal crashed on the floor and the room disappeared.