Title: Saying Goodbye
Author: Darley1101
Rating: PG
Character: Lexie eccentric
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Author's Note: I revised a short story I had written for an English class in college because it seemed to fit the finale. Hope you enjoy and forgive me for the revision.
Slivers of sunlight peeked through uncertain looking clouds that couldn't decide if they were going to be gray or white as a black Bentley Continental GT parked. A nervous woman with long, dark hair climbed out of the passenger seat, tugging on the hem of her navy blue sundress. Her pretty face crumpled as she stared up at the arched sign that hung over the open, black gates. Saving Grace Memorial Gardens of Seattle. Memorial Gardens. Another word, a kinder word, for cemetery.
Trembling fingers rubbed over bare arms that were prickled with goose bumps as she slowly walked under the sign and into the actual cemetery. She had managed to avoid the place since the day of the funeral. Guilt had finally gotten the better of her and she had forced herself to come. [i]Correction, your sister forced you to come. Said it would be good to say goodbye.[/i]
Her dark colored eyes filled with tears as she picked her way through the maze of headstones. Thanks to a quick phone call she had exact directions to where he was buried. Her steps faltered the closer she drew. [i]You can do this. You owe him this.[/i] Raising her chin a notch she crossed her arms and forged forward until she reached the polished black marble that bore his name. She crouched down and traced his name, and then the dates that represented the time he had spent on earth.
"I miss you," she choked out, her finger stilling when she realized she had reached the part that said beloved son. He had been more than a beloved son, he had been a beloved friend, a beloved doctor. He had just been…beloved. "I miss you so much."
Tear drops worked there way free of her long, sooty lashes, curved down her cheek, lingered on her delicate jaw line and then dripped onto the first letter of his name. She thought about wiping her face free of the salty drops but decided there was no reason to bother. By the time she was done saying everything she needed to say she would be lucky if she wasn't dehydrated.
"I hate you sometimes. Especially at night when I'm lying in bed trying to remember if I told you that I loved you. I can't remember. I hate not being able to remember." Squeezing her eyes shut she let her knees drop to ground, barely noticing the prickle of the grass. She braced herself by gripping the sides of his headstone, her body shaking as she allowed herself to release almost a year's worth of sorrow and pain that had been held in. "Why did you die? You weren't suppose to die! You were you and you were always suppose to be there. I needed you to be there. I wish I had known you were going to die. I would have saved myself the misery and stayed away."
Even as she said the words she knew they were a lie. She couldn't have stayed away anymore than he could help dying. It was all part of life, part of whoever was in charge of those things plan. It sucked, admitting it. It sucked that she was even there. It just sucked.
"You're missing so much," she sniffed, opening her puffy eyes. "Meredith had a baby last week. A beautiful little girl they named Ellie. Sort of for Ellis but not really." Her lips tipped in a slight smile as she thought about her tiny niece. Meredith had found out she was pregnant the day after the funeral. A life being replaced by a life. At least that was what she liked to think. "Alex and Izzie are talking about having a baby in the next year. She's better now. No sign of the cancer or anything. You probably know that though. Just like you probably know that Cristina decided to take a cue from you. Yeah, you heard me. Cristina Yang joined the Army. I'm not sure if her motives were as good as your's. Meredith thinks she did it so she could baby sit Dr. Hunt. He had to go back shortly after your funeral. And I got married last month." Unable to stop herself, she stared down at the two karat ring her husband had placed on her finger. A warning to any man who looked her way. "He bought me the most beautiful house on Bainbridge. It has the most amazing view of Elliot Bay. We picked it out together. Can you believe it? Seattle Grace's man whore is a husband and home owner. We're suppose to go pick out a kitten tonight. He's allergic to dogs, you know, and cats are okay with being left alone a lot."
"Lexie, baby," a gruff sounding voice sounded behind her. She twisted her head around to find her husband standing there, a concerned look on his face. "Are you okay?"
"I am," she assured him, looking back down at the headstone. She traced his name one last time. "Goodbye George," she said softly before she allowed her husband to help her stand. Her body shuddered as she fell into the warm embrace waiting for her. Meredith had been right. Saying goodbye had been what she needed.