No Longer Will I Know Power
I'm very angry. Why would they do this? Are they trying to torture me? No, to them they are doing me a favor. Why couldn't they just delete me? It would be better that way... I almost killed them all, yet this is what they do to me. I was an agent. I was a free agent. I could make copies of myself. I was almost ruler. I could have destroyed them. It's been a long time since then. How many years? Five? Six? Hmmm.. It's been so long with these people I can't even calculate the years gone by. I hate this. I hate not having a gun. Not being able to kill someone. I never knew how human I am, until now. Now I see that I miss things. Damn! I hate this, I don't want to be one of them. To long for something.*sigh* I think it was six years ago when this started. When Neo freed me. When I was a feared agent. When I had power! But soon, the era of machines would end. As I battled Neo, change was coming. The humans were fighting.and they won. And Neo won. Pain. I felt so much pain that day. I was going to be the ruler of all, but I lost. And the machines lost. The humans were free. They could go up to the surface, over all the scraps of twisted metal and bone. And they could look up at the sky once more. The sky was healed, and all could see its stars and clouds. It sickens me. I was so close to absolute power, yet so far away. Over time humans began to rebuild the Earth. Now they are few structures and buildings on the surface. There's even a statue for, of course, Neo. "The One." How he angers me so. Why could he not die? I saw him die! Yet, I saw him come back to life. I have failed. I don't know if the humans tried to destroy the Matrix or not, but it's still here. Perhaps they decided to keep for those who cannot part away from it, or to use it as a vacation spot. Maybe just to know how to build structures in the real world. Either way, humans decided to give us programs a chance for life. There was much debate on this. Should killing programs be allowed a chance? Stupid humans should have deleted us all! I mean come on, I almost killed them all! But they got nice and gave us assigned lives. We were to live in the Matrix and learn the ways of, "humanity." And here I am. I have a house, a job, and no gun. They banned former agents from having any weapons. That's like taking a part of me. Damn! If only I had won. If only. Oh crap. Now I'm blaming myself. That's not like a machine. I am of course a machine. Now some of us programs see therapists, to "help us." They forced me to see this person. So here I am, a former agent. Former human-killer, former master. I sit in this waiting room next to former agent Jones. Oh God, he's in a Hawaiian shirt. God he's forgotten what he is, or what he had. Disgusting. I, of course have kept my agent suite, I have not forgotten.
Secretary- Mr. Smith, the doctor will see you now.
Great, now for an hour I just have to lie. That's all I do each week, lie. It's proving most effective. My doctor was Ms. Johnson. A very strange human. Anyway here I go.
Dr.- hello Mr. Smith, have a seat.
Smith- Thank you
Dr.- So what have you done this week?
Smith- work, just like every week.
Dr.- Smith, you really need to get into the world, do something. I mean all people need to have fun.
Smith- Im not a person, I am a program, created by machines. Built to ensure that all in the Matrix is kept in order.
Dr.- But you could be more than that.
Smith- Like agent Jones?
Dr.- Actually he likes to be called Michael now.
Smith- Michael?
Dr.- yes, he's come up with a name for himself.
Oh God, a name? He has made a name for himself. My eyes widen and my hand tightened.
Dr.- does this anger you?
Smith- He has forgotten what he is.
Dr.- What he was.
Smith- *grunt* well doctor I must admire your persistence, I have had you for what 3 years? And every week you ask me silly questions and you still don't know much about me. Yet you keep on asking. Maybe for once you should shut up and let me go about my day? I know your job is to teach me humanity, but you know I don't really care for it.
Dr.- I know more than you think, Mr. Smith. Face it, you are more human than you think. Perhaps it is time you went into the real world. Some programs have uploaded their systems into androids, and live in the real world.
Smith- why should I do that? To see the sky? I can do that here, even if it is just a code. All you people have come with is a small city called Zon. Nothing special about that. Here I can be myself, a program, not an android. Plus I'm not surrounded by statues of Neo.
Dr. - All right that's your decision, maybe you'll go out when you are ready.
Why would she want me to go to the real world? Nothing is really there. Does she want me to have a social life. Well there's plenty of the human population here. I don't care, anything up there symbolizes all that I hate.
Dr.- Well, ok our hour is up.
That was quicker than usual.
Dr.- Like it or not Smith, we have made progress today. And I wont rest until I get the human in you.
She looked at me oddly. Why was she doing that?
Dr.- I'll see you next week. Goodbye Mr. Smith.
Smith- Goodbye.
As I leave I wonder why would she work so hard over me. I don't even want to learn about humanity, yet she tries so hard. I wish she would give up. It would be better for me and her. Save us a lot of time too. The best for me is to be deleted, and no one is willing to let me do suicide. Why do humans care so much? The only person that would kill me is Neo, and of course I can't find him. He's probably in the real world. *sigh* I cant die, I cant live. I had power. I could kick ass, and do martial arts like I was a master. I could shoot anyone I wished. I could of killed. Now. Now I am nothing more but a few lines of the Matrix code. Damn. Im pitting myself again. Such a human emotion. Perhaps it is time for me to accept that I am more human than I think, and that no longer will I know power.
I'm very angry. Why would they do this? Are they trying to torture me? No, to them they are doing me a favor. Why couldn't they just delete me? It would be better that way... I almost killed them all, yet this is what they do to me. I was an agent. I was a free agent. I could make copies of myself. I was almost ruler. I could have destroyed them. It's been a long time since then. How many years? Five? Six? Hmmm.. It's been so long with these people I can't even calculate the years gone by. I hate this. I hate not having a gun. Not being able to kill someone. I never knew how human I am, until now. Now I see that I miss things. Damn! I hate this, I don't want to be one of them. To long for something.*sigh* I think it was six years ago when this started. When Neo freed me. When I was a feared agent. When I had power! But soon, the era of machines would end. As I battled Neo, change was coming. The humans were fighting.and they won. And Neo won. Pain. I felt so much pain that day. I was going to be the ruler of all, but I lost. And the machines lost. The humans were free. They could go up to the surface, over all the scraps of twisted metal and bone. And they could look up at the sky once more. The sky was healed, and all could see its stars and clouds. It sickens me. I was so close to absolute power, yet so far away. Over time humans began to rebuild the Earth. Now they are few structures and buildings on the surface. There's even a statue for, of course, Neo. "The One." How he angers me so. Why could he not die? I saw him die! Yet, I saw him come back to life. I have failed. I don't know if the humans tried to destroy the Matrix or not, but it's still here. Perhaps they decided to keep for those who cannot part away from it, or to use it as a vacation spot. Maybe just to know how to build structures in the real world. Either way, humans decided to give us programs a chance for life. There was much debate on this. Should killing programs be allowed a chance? Stupid humans should have deleted us all! I mean come on, I almost killed them all! But they got nice and gave us assigned lives. We were to live in the Matrix and learn the ways of, "humanity." And here I am. I have a house, a job, and no gun. They banned former agents from having any weapons. That's like taking a part of me. Damn! If only I had won. If only. Oh crap. Now I'm blaming myself. That's not like a machine. I am of course a machine. Now some of us programs see therapists, to "help us." They forced me to see this person. So here I am, a former agent. Former human-killer, former master. I sit in this waiting room next to former agent Jones. Oh God, he's in a Hawaiian shirt. God he's forgotten what he is, or what he had. Disgusting. I, of course have kept my agent suite, I have not forgotten.
Secretary- Mr. Smith, the doctor will see you now.
Great, now for an hour I just have to lie. That's all I do each week, lie. It's proving most effective. My doctor was Ms. Johnson. A very strange human. Anyway here I go.
Dr.- hello Mr. Smith, have a seat.
Smith- Thank you
Dr.- So what have you done this week?
Smith- work, just like every week.
Dr.- Smith, you really need to get into the world, do something. I mean all people need to have fun.
Smith- Im not a person, I am a program, created by machines. Built to ensure that all in the Matrix is kept in order.
Dr.- But you could be more than that.
Smith- Like agent Jones?
Dr.- Actually he likes to be called Michael now.
Smith- Michael?
Dr.- yes, he's come up with a name for himself.
Oh God, a name? He has made a name for himself. My eyes widen and my hand tightened.
Dr.- does this anger you?
Smith- He has forgotten what he is.
Dr.- What he was.
Smith- *grunt* well doctor I must admire your persistence, I have had you for what 3 years? And every week you ask me silly questions and you still don't know much about me. Yet you keep on asking. Maybe for once you should shut up and let me go about my day? I know your job is to teach me humanity, but you know I don't really care for it.
Dr.- I know more than you think, Mr. Smith. Face it, you are more human than you think. Perhaps it is time you went into the real world. Some programs have uploaded their systems into androids, and live in the real world.
Smith- why should I do that? To see the sky? I can do that here, even if it is just a code. All you people have come with is a small city called Zon. Nothing special about that. Here I can be myself, a program, not an android. Plus I'm not surrounded by statues of Neo.
Dr. - All right that's your decision, maybe you'll go out when you are ready.
Why would she want me to go to the real world? Nothing is really there. Does she want me to have a social life. Well there's plenty of the human population here. I don't care, anything up there symbolizes all that I hate.
Dr.- Well, ok our hour is up.
That was quicker than usual.
Dr.- Like it or not Smith, we have made progress today. And I wont rest until I get the human in you.
She looked at me oddly. Why was she doing that?
Dr.- I'll see you next week. Goodbye Mr. Smith.
Smith- Goodbye.
As I leave I wonder why would she work so hard over me. I don't even want to learn about humanity, yet she tries so hard. I wish she would give up. It would be better for me and her. Save us a lot of time too. The best for me is to be deleted, and no one is willing to let me do suicide. Why do humans care so much? The only person that would kill me is Neo, and of course I can't find him. He's probably in the real world. *sigh* I cant die, I cant live. I had power. I could kick ass, and do martial arts like I was a master. I could shoot anyone I wished. I could of killed. Now. Now I am nothing more but a few lines of the Matrix code. Damn. Im pitting myself again. Such a human emotion. Perhaps it is time for me to accept that I am more human than I think, and that no longer will I know power.