Welcome back Guys, This is my new story about Ciel's, feelings and thoughts during the if this is not what you expected, but i hope you will enjoy the story and the COOKIES. Enjoy :3

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Black butler or Kuroshitsuji.

Sebastian had just put Ciel to sleep in his bedroom. Ciel was supposed to be asleep, but he wasn't, Ciel was awake until 3:47 am. It has been like this for the past 3 months.

"*sigh* Why am I still alive?" Ciel started to hate his life once he became 13. He didn't want to live anymore.

Ciel walked over to his side drawer and pulled out a dull knife. "Here I go again, well, at least the pain reminds me of the suffering I endure during the day.

*slice* "Gah.." Ciel tried to hide the sound of the scream by putting his hand over his mouth. The blood started to drip down his arm and onto the floor.

"Great, now I have to mop all this up" Ciel walks over to behind his door and picks up a wet mop, he always hid there for when he cut his arm or hand.

The cut did not really hurt much after the cut, because he was used to it by now. Once wound stopped bleeding, Ciel covered back up his hand and went back to sleep.

Thus the Next Day Came

"Good morning, Bocchan" Sebastian said while pouring the tea for Ciel.

"Good morning, Sebastian. Whats on the schedule today." Ciel knew how to hide his cuts from Sebastian while either dressing him or bathing him.

When Sebastian was dressing Ciel, he always shot his arm into the sleeve of his coat really fast, so that Sebastian would not see the cuts.

Sebastian noticed that Ciel was dressing quickly, but he decided not to question it.

"Your schedule is free today bocchan, what do you want to do?" Sebastian questioned Ciel.

"Eh, I'll just stay in my study, and get some work done" Ciel was lying to Sebastian, Ciel had already finished all his work the week before.

Since Ciel knew what times Sebastian would be coming into Ciel's office, he decided to get out his knife again and make another cut on his upper right arm.

It still hurt Ciel, but not as much as the other times. There wasn't much blood this time, so Ciel just left it open to heal on its own, and whenever Sebastian came in, he would put his sleeve down over the closed up cut mark.

Round 8:00 p.m.

"Bocchan, its time for you to go to bed." Sebastian had notified Ciel when he was supposed to retire (go to bed) every day at 8:00.

"Alright Sebastian lets go." Ciel pretended like nothing happened to day.

The time comes again when Sebastian put Ciel to sleep and then leaves the room.

As usual, Ciel always pretended that he was asleep until it was half past 3 in the morning.

"Another sleepless morning, with me staring out the window, to the moon up above the night sky.

Ciel walks over to his bed-side table and opens his drawer, but Ciel noticed that his knife was not there.

"Huh, why is it not here? Maybe I left it in the study when I cut my self earlier. " With that Ciel left to his study in search of his dull (arm-cutting) knife.

Ciel had walked passed the stairs and went inside to the study, but on his way past the stairs he did not see Sebastian cleaning up the Sebastian, sure as hell, saw him. So Sebastian decided to follow his master up the stairs, but only opened the study door a bit so Ciel wouldn't hear and Sebastian could still see him.

"Ah, here it is." Ciel took up the knife that was inside to the draw and then cut himself with it not knowing that Sebastian was watching from the other side of the door.

"There we go much better, now to clean this up." Ciel reached for his rag to sop up his blood and did so.

When Sebastian saw this his eyes widened at the sight, He was confused as to why Ciel did all of this, so he left it alone till morning.

Morning comes.

Ciel just shot his arm into the sleeve of his coat when, "Stop!"

Ciel stopped as Sebastian yelled that one word.

"Whats wrong Sebastian, just let me get dressed."

"You're asking ME whats wrong, I should be asking YOU that." Ciel wanted to know why Sebastian was talking to him like that.

"Why?" Sebastian then took Ciel's arm and pulled it out of the coat.

"This is whats wrong, why did you not tell me anything about this?" Sebastian lowered his tone down back to normal.

Ciel was confused as to how Sebastian knew. "How, how do you know this?"

"*sigh* I saw you going into your study last night, and I watched as you cut yourself."

"Well then, now that you know, now what?"

Well how was that, I would want to continue this story if you people like it, if you do please leave a review and I thank you for reading what I had thought up. BTW: If anyone here raed my last story, I am sorry that I did not continue it into the next story, I hope you will for give me and like this one too. But for now, Bye Bye :3