Following Through with Letting Go
by JoLeigh
Summary: Sometimes you have to stop dreaming of what you wanted to do and start doing what you were meant to do.
Feedback: vballhp3 [at] comcast [dot] net
Credits: "Follow Through" - Gavin DeGraw
I'd like to think we were meant for each other. But I knew at some point it was gonna fade away. The attraction wouldn't be there. I was prepared for that. I was prepared for it when Pete came. It all would slowly, week after week, month after month, drift and evolve into the complete and sweet memories in our history and past.
But it doesn't bother me anymore.
This was the destiny set ahead for me. After we save the universe I'll retreat to my wonderful cabin in Minnesota where I'll live out the rest of my days.
And that doesn't bother me either.
They look so wonderful together, like they were meant to be together. More than I ever saw Carter and me. A companion is all it could be. Nothing more.
I want her to be happy. I want her to find true love. At this moment, I see her dance with him and it's okay. I see a beautiful light that shines in her blue eyes. The dress of satin and lace that fits her figure. She has everything she could want... was meant to have.
I don't think of it as giving up, but just letting go. Letting go of what we had. That certain comfort. The hope and dreams of evolution.
Letting go of her.
We have a path we take which involves our future. There came a fork awhile back, in which she found Pete, and I found a calm isolation.
It doesn't bother me as much.
Not everyone has a love partner. Sara is there, but too far in my past. We did look good together. It just wasn't destiny. Everything seems to fall into place as Carter and Pete slow dance. It's comforting to know she's happy, and to know that I could help her move on and let go.
It doesn't bother her anymore.
And so, since you wanna be with me,
you'll have to follow through,
with every word you say.
And I,
all I really want is you,
You to stick around.
I'll see ya everyday,
but you have to follow through.
"We're getting married."
"Married?"
"Yes, married."
"Married as in..."
"as in... spend the rest of their lives together... Married."
"Congrats." He always had a knack for putting on a happy face. Although this one didn't give much assurance as Sam sat on a lab stool.
"For some reason I felt that you should get the news first, since we were close for some time... and my dad isn't here for me to tell him." She looked down at her fidgeting fingers, taking careful time to rip a hangnail.
"I think I feel special. I'm sorta at a mixed emotions state." Jack broke the silence.
"Yeah, I kinda was... still am." She put on a happy face. "This is what love is about though. Not hindered by rule. I just gotta get used to it." Her smile slowly faded with the rest of her sentence. "I'm not completely sure about the direction. I want to be happy, and this is my path." She looked up at him, glassy-eyed. "It's only so hard to let go."
"I want you to be happy. This is your opportunity, and you should take it." He walked toward her as she gazed up into his eyes.
"Our lives are gonna change forever."
He took her in his embrace, at the last chance he would get to provide comfort and assurance to her.
"You have to follow through with this. Don't let it bother you," he said, holding onto her.
He let go. "Sometimes you must let go of the things to once wanted, and start doing what you were meant to do."
He stared into her eyes.
"It's time to move on, Carter."
"Am I--"
"You're doing the right thing."
"Thanks."
He walked towards the door. Before exiting, he turned around. "Never let go of the ties that bind."
At that moment, the smile spread across his face that infected her. They always had that one look they exchanged.
Oh this is the start of something good...
...don't you agree?
I keep on holding on to that last lyric, cherishing every word. I know it's true. I dwell on those words, the truth of it. The calm isolation it can bring me.
"Hey there, daydreamer," a figure in a white dress sits beside me, jolting me out of my staring into space, "Don't you dare try sneaking in a 'hey, carter' either. I'm married." I love her grins. So childish, yet so wonderful to store as a mental picture.
"Nice party..."
"Thanks."
"... Carter," I manage to whisper.
"Nice." She manages to crack an even bigger grin, which infects my subtle smile.
A moment of silence passes as we watch couples dance on the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice her lip quiver slightly before she says something.
"Janet would've loved this."
"I know she would."
"This is my wedding day afterall. I'm not gonna let anything get me down," she says as she puts on a good face.
"You shouldn't. This is the happiest day of your life."
"Indeed it is."
I manage to mumble something she doesn't quite hear.
"Huh?"
I turn to her and proceed to say what she needs to hear one more time.
"You're doing the right thing."
"Thanks."
It doesn't bother me anymore.
After life settles down, I'll retire to my cabin in Minnesota, have some friends over every once in awhile. Pete and I have talked and respect each other. I can settle for what I left behind, and cherish what I had, and look and see what's ahead of me.
We all followed through. It was the companionship that was so special. It's those 'ties that bind'. Not just between Carter and me, but between us all.
But that aside, I can think back to the day, but remember the good times, and cherish the unsteady beginning. You can never change it. But... who would want to?
I'd like to think we were once meant for each other, for that is the truth. But if you hold on to hope, it will lead you the peace you deserve. She held on to hope.
As he looked at her dance with Pete, she shared a quick glance with the one who let her go. The one who let her follow through with her dreams.
And because it doesn't bother him, he has assurance knowing it doesn't bother her.
A/N: Was playing with the first person stuff, but I managed to pull through. Hopefully it worked. Hope you did like. This isn't my type of pairing... for those who know me best, but it's time to step back and look at the big picture and see things through other perspectives. I kinda have. Reviews are greatly appreciated.
Betas: Cathain Nottingham and The Female Apophis