HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play
Ok. This may seem very very scary. That was intended. *muahahahaha!* Ok, I was seriously high on something when I wrote it. Ok. This could be like a play you see on a stage or something, or maybe on ice. See, celebrities are playing the Ham-Hams and trying not to do what they do best, be annoying celebrities.
Early Credits:
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro.
Actors/Actresses:
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From "Friends") Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From "The Lord of the Rings") Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From "The Lord of the Rings" and "Pirates of the Caribbean") Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From "The Osbournes") Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From "The Anna Nicole Show") Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers "Eminem" (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/"Sk8er Punk") Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From "Austin Powers") Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- "Weird" Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer)
~~~Chappie One~~~ "Faux Fur 'N' Rhyme"
~*~Scene 1-Jingle In A Tree~*~
*Shows Jingle/Tom Green strumming a guitar horribly.*
Jingle/Tom: Kill the girl. Who wrote this play. 'Cuz it sucked. In every way. It has Hamtaro. But not you. Can't forget Dexter. Oh, and that Bijou. God, who wrote this crap? The rhyming bites. Well, you get what you pay for. Just hang tight. I'm not done with my babbling. Maybe I will tomorrow. But until then.Here's Hamtaro!
*Jingle/Tom leaps off the tree, but lands on his butt. He runs off the stage crying.*
~*~Scene 2-The Club House~*~
*Boss/Celine, Hamtaro/Courtney, Bijou/Orlando, Pashmina/Anna,
Penelope/Justin, Dexter/Avril, Howdy/Adam, Panda/Britney, Cappy/Al,
and Oxnard/Ozzy sit around the table, drinking out of little colored
tea cups. Elder Ham/Eminem is sitting on a tiny bench next to
Snoozer/Elijah.*
Boss/Celine: Ok, ladies and gentlehams. *Giggles, trying to keep the
part of a hamster and saying gentleHAMS* Hamtaro, Panda, Cappy, Oxnard
Maxwell and I---Hey where's Maxwell?
Elder Ham/Eminem: He never showed up for the f***in thing! *breaks his
cane in half* I dunt even know who he's played by!
Boss/Celine: Oh, ok then. Well, we decided to make an addition to the
club house---
Bijou/Orlando: *in a British accent* Boss, isn't the club house big
enough?
Boss/Celine: *rolls eyes* No. Alright? May I continue?
Elder Ham/Eminem: What in the h*ll was question is that!?
Bijou/Orlando: *in a British accent* Hey, I didn't write the script.
I'm just doing this to get paid. *looks at Dark Witch* I'm getting
paid, right?
Dark Witch: You guys aren't saying all the correct lines. But---*turns
into a banana*
Bijou/Orlando: Ok then.
Boss/Celine: Continuing, the new extension is a room, for, um,
singing. Since, we were considering starting the Ham-Ham Chorus.
Hamtaro/Courtney: Yeah! Laura said she was in one at school.
Oxnard/Ozzy: YeahurKalaKanalsjgsaid she was in oneofemd*mnthings.
Yeah.
Hamtaro/Courtney: I couldn't hear a word you said!
Oxnard/Ozzy: Whaattt?
Hamtaro/Courtney: *rolls eyes*
Boss/Celine: So, does anyone have any ideas about how to build or
anything about the new room?
Dexter/Avril: I think we should paint it black and red with stars and
blare punk music!!!! *looks exited*
Boss/Celine: Uh.
Panda/Britney: I can build anything, just not that. I refuse to do
that. I think we should put little plastic dolls everywhere.THAT LOOK
LIKE ME! *puts it up to her face* Just-Erm-Penelope?
Penelope/Justin: Okyoo.
Howdy/Adam: I gotta good one for ya, Britney erm Panda!
Panda/Britney: Do I know you?
Howdy/Adam: What's the difference between you and one of them dolls!?
Panda/Britney: I'm Sexier?
Howdy/Adam: *laughs* No! There is no difference! You are both made of
plastic! Har Har Har!
*Everyone looks annoyed*
Howdy/Adam: I have never been not funny! *grumbles, as he sits down*
And this stupid, faggy apron! *throws the apron*
Boss/Celine: Anyone else?
Pashmina/Anna: I think we should paint it pink with faux fur
EVERYWHERE! Just let me call up my gay designer---
Cappy/Al: Err, Anna. You got your part 1/3 down. Congratulations!
*thinks of a parody about Anna Nicole*
Pashmina/Anna: Whatever.
Hamtaro/Courtney: Well, I think we should have---*whispers in
Boss/Celine's ear about a design for the choral room*
Boss/Celine: Well, it's settled.
Everyone But Boss/Celine and Hamtaro/Courtney: But we didn't here the
plans! (
Pashmina/Anna: *whining* But IIIIIIIIIIIIIII wanted it to be pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (
Cappy/Al: *sings* Anna-Er-Pash' wanted the room to pink, but after all it would make her think. And that definitely would not be gooooooood. Because her head is made of pink wooooooooood. How does that sound, you guys? *puts on beanie* I am the best Cappy and parody writer, ever! *spins the beanie*
Elder Ham/Eminem: Sure, yo mutha f***er!
Penelope/Justin: That sucked, 'dog'!
Panda/Britney: Justin, I won't tell everyone we had sex unless you do a good job in this!
Penelope/Justin: *sighs* Okwee Okwee Okyoo
Cappy/Al: And Elder Ham has a quick temper, not just a fan of Idiotic Clubs he's a member----?
Dexter/Avril: *blinks* Even I'M a better writer then that!
Howdy/Adam: Yeah, right..*mumbles* Candians.
Dexter/Avril: What did you say!?
*Howdy/Adam and Dexter/Avril tackles each other and starts fighting.*
Bijou/Orlando: Someone is at the door.
*Knock* *Knock*
*Bijou/Orlando opens it, revealing -----------*
.:|-|Who's at the door? What will the new room look like? Will Jingle/Tom quit singing? All hopefully answered in Chapter Two of HaMTaRo: The Celebrity Play!|-|:.
Please R+R.Flame only if you have to.And if you have any
recommendations for the story, e-mail me @ Nilla1990@aol.com...Yeah!
Ok. This may seem very very scary. That was intended. *muahahahaha!* Ok, I was seriously high on something when I wrote it. Ok. This could be like a play you see on a stage or something, or maybe on ice. See, celebrities are playing the Ham-Hams and trying not to do what they do best, be annoying celebrities.
Early Credits:
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro.
Actors/Actresses:
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From "Friends") Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From "The Lord of the Rings") Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From "The Lord of the Rings" and "Pirates of the Caribbean") Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From "The Osbournes") Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From "The Anna Nicole Show") Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers "Eminem" (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/"Sk8er Punk") Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From "Austin Powers") Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- "Weird" Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer)
~~~Chappie One~~~ "Faux Fur 'N' Rhyme"
~*~Scene 1-Jingle In A Tree~*~
*Shows Jingle/Tom Green strumming a guitar horribly.*
Jingle/Tom: Kill the girl. Who wrote this play. 'Cuz it sucked. In every way. It has Hamtaro. But not you. Can't forget Dexter. Oh, and that Bijou. God, who wrote this crap? The rhyming bites. Well, you get what you pay for. Just hang tight. I'm not done with my babbling. Maybe I will tomorrow. But until then.Here's Hamtaro!
*Jingle/Tom leaps off the tree, but lands on his butt. He runs off the stage crying.*
~*~Scene 2-The Club House~*~
*Boss/Celine, Hamtaro/Courtney, Bijou/Orlando, Pashmina/Anna,
Penelope/Justin, Dexter/Avril, Howdy/Adam, Panda/Britney, Cappy/Al,
and Oxnard/Ozzy sit around the table, drinking out of little colored
tea cups. Elder Ham/Eminem is sitting on a tiny bench next to
Snoozer/Elijah.*
Boss/Celine: Ok, ladies and gentlehams. *Giggles, trying to keep the
part of a hamster and saying gentleHAMS* Hamtaro, Panda, Cappy, Oxnard
Maxwell and I---Hey where's Maxwell?
Elder Ham/Eminem: He never showed up for the f***in thing! *breaks his
cane in half* I dunt even know who he's played by!
Boss/Celine: Oh, ok then. Well, we decided to make an addition to the
club house---
Bijou/Orlando: *in a British accent* Boss, isn't the club house big
enough?
Boss/Celine: *rolls eyes* No. Alright? May I continue?
Elder Ham/Eminem: What in the h*ll was question is that!?
Bijou/Orlando: *in a British accent* Hey, I didn't write the script.
I'm just doing this to get paid. *looks at Dark Witch* I'm getting
paid, right?
Dark Witch: You guys aren't saying all the correct lines. But---*turns
into a banana*
Bijou/Orlando: Ok then.
Boss/Celine: Continuing, the new extension is a room, for, um,
singing. Since, we were considering starting the Ham-Ham Chorus.
Hamtaro/Courtney: Yeah! Laura said she was in one at school.
Oxnard/Ozzy: YeahurKalaKanalsjgsaid she was in oneofemd*mnthings.
Yeah.
Hamtaro/Courtney: I couldn't hear a word you said!
Oxnard/Ozzy: Whaattt?
Hamtaro/Courtney: *rolls eyes*
Boss/Celine: So, does anyone have any ideas about how to build or
anything about the new room?
Dexter/Avril: I think we should paint it black and red with stars and
blare punk music!!!! *looks exited*
Boss/Celine: Uh.
Panda/Britney: I can build anything, just not that. I refuse to do
that. I think we should put little plastic dolls everywhere.THAT LOOK
LIKE ME! *puts it up to her face* Just-Erm-Penelope?
Penelope/Justin: Okyoo.
Howdy/Adam: I gotta good one for ya, Britney erm Panda!
Panda/Britney: Do I know you?
Howdy/Adam: What's the difference between you and one of them dolls!?
Panda/Britney: I'm Sexier?
Howdy/Adam: *laughs* No! There is no difference! You are both made of
plastic! Har Har Har!
*Everyone looks annoyed*
Howdy/Adam: I have never been not funny! *grumbles, as he sits down*
And this stupid, faggy apron! *throws the apron*
Boss/Celine: Anyone else?
Pashmina/Anna: I think we should paint it pink with faux fur
EVERYWHERE! Just let me call up my gay designer---
Cappy/Al: Err, Anna. You got your part 1/3 down. Congratulations!
*thinks of a parody about Anna Nicole*
Pashmina/Anna: Whatever.
Hamtaro/Courtney: Well, I think we should have---*whispers in
Boss/Celine's ear about a design for the choral room*
Boss/Celine: Well, it's settled.
Everyone But Boss/Celine and Hamtaro/Courtney: But we didn't here the
plans! (
Pashmina/Anna: *whining* But IIIIIIIIIIIIIII wanted it to be pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (
Cappy/Al: *sings* Anna-Er-Pash' wanted the room to pink, but after all it would make her think. And that definitely would not be gooooooood. Because her head is made of pink wooooooooood. How does that sound, you guys? *puts on beanie* I am the best Cappy and parody writer, ever! *spins the beanie*
Elder Ham/Eminem: Sure, yo mutha f***er!
Penelope/Justin: That sucked, 'dog'!
Panda/Britney: Justin, I won't tell everyone we had sex unless you do a good job in this!
Penelope/Justin: *sighs* Okwee Okwee Okyoo
Cappy/Al: And Elder Ham has a quick temper, not just a fan of Idiotic Clubs he's a member----?
Dexter/Avril: *blinks* Even I'M a better writer then that!
Howdy/Adam: Yeah, right..*mumbles* Candians.
Dexter/Avril: What did you say!?
*Howdy/Adam and Dexter/Avril tackles each other and starts fighting.*
Bijou/Orlando: Someone is at the door.
*Knock* *Knock*
*Bijou/Orlando opens it, revealing -----------*
.:|-|Who's at the door? What will the new room look like? Will Jingle/Tom quit singing? All hopefully answered in Chapter Two of HaMTaRo: The Celebrity Play!|-|:.
Please R+R.Flame only if you have to.And if you have any
recommendations for the story, e-mail me @ Nilla1990@aol.com...Yeah!