A/N: I own none of these characters. WWF(E) does, and Beulah owns herself (You go girl!) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Rock on!
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Why I'm I here? Well, I know why I'm here. Stephanie McMahon gave me her puppy dog eyes when she asked me to come. But, why haven't I left yet? I don't celebrate Christmas, and I'm not a big people person. I am Raven! The stereotypical antisocial, antiestablishment, anti-WWF Christmas parties! Yet, I'm still here. Alone. All alone. Everyone has someone.
Tommy was able to get Beulah to come. He sent her airplane tickets, so that she'd be able to be here with him. The happy newly married couple are doing just great. After catching up with her ECW boys, she made fast friends with Victoria. Poor Stevie Richards. Now his ex-girlfriend and new girlfriend were talking together. I'm sure Stevie will be sleeping on the couch tonight.
See what Christmas does to people? Sigh.
What else is going on? Lillian Garcia is trying to keep her boyfriend Rob from starting a drinking contest with Dreamer. No one drinks as much as Tommy, with the exception of yours truly, and no one can -not- hold their liquor as badly as Rob. Lillian is obviously the brains of their relationship.
The Dudley Clan is sitting at Dreamer's table. D-von and the lovely Miss Jackie are involved in a heated conversation. Probably about whether or not Texas is the best state in the US. You've got to love Jackie.... And Bubba is using his charms while talking to one of the stage hands. The little girl has had the largest crush on him. ...For reasons I sure don't know... And little Spike is all alone.
Oh! But, what is this?! Stacy Kielber just spilled her drink on Test, as DDP and Kanyon laugh, and the other occupants of the table, Billy and Torrie continue making out. I'm so proud of Kidman. I remember when he was a street urchin that I picked up off the street. And since Bischoff owed me, he let Kidman start to wrestle in WCW. Owed me... Was afraid of my wrath... Same thing. He was still sorry that he had to let Goldburg jobbed to me. Or maybe he was sorry that I almost set his car on fire in the parking lot. One of those reasons.
But, back to Stacy. She's walking over to Spike and sitting down. Do you see this, God?! Even Spike Dudley might be getting lucky tonight! Erg. No wonder I gave up on any sort of religion a long time ago....
And, what's this?! Poor Tazz. Michael Cole must have persuaded him to dress up. As an elf. The table is laughing so hard, that I think Beulah might start crying..."I'm a thug elf, damnit!" Sure you are Tazz. Sure you are.
In a small table in the back, my somewhat good friend, Shane Helms is sitting with his best friend Shannon Moore and a rather intoxicated Jamie Knoble. And Nidia is trying to stop him from playing strip poker with Shane. All this is happening while Little Guido, I mean Cousin Nuniso, is sitting back and laughing at the sight in front him.
Dawn Marie has finally made her appearance. She always has been known to make grand appearances. She leans over and gives me a peck on my cheek and I point her in the direction she wants to go. Sitting next to his buddy Justin, on the ECW table is Lance Storm. I watch silently as she skips over to him, the bottom half of her dress flying up, and those who aren't used to it, get a free show.
Some things never change.
I scanned the room again for something to occupy my time and I see the show of the night. Molly Holly has brought her boyfriend to show her cousins. As glad as I am that the Holly clan is somewhat back together again... The look on Bob's face when he sees who her new boyfriend is... That might split them up again. Or at least make holiday gatherings kind of hard. "Mom, Dad, Crash, Cousin Bob... Meet my boyfriend Brock Lesnar! He promised he won't F5 anyone through the table!"
At the Smackdown GMs table (because did you really think Eric would use his own money for something like this?! Ha!) Stephanie was surrounded by her latest suitors. Chris Benoit and Rhyno. Luckily the two of them got along pretty well, and have only been trying to outdo each other in jokes.
Also at their table, Kane and Terri were whispering to each other, and it's pretty damn scary to see Kane so happy that he starts to giggle. That defiantly goes under the 'things you don't see everyday' pile. And sitting next to them is a ..erm..festive Jeff Hardy. He is literally red and green. And he seems to be reciting a poem that he probably wrote to Trish Stratus.
While on my table of loserdom... HHH is glaring holes at Benoit and Rhyno. Normally the Crippler and Man Beast would glare right back at him, but currently they were having more fun making his ex-wife crack up. And that was a better punishment for him then being able to beat him up. Ric Flair is sitting next to Hunter, telling him he doesn't need a woman... As Flair is scanning the room, which just means that Moolah is supposed to be at this party too. What a hypocrite.
And, I'm sitting next to the biggest loser of them all (with the exception of myself of course). Matt Hardy. The dumbass broke up with the beautiful and talented Lita, in order to go out with Dawn Marie. Anyone with a second grade education would have realized that Dawn just needed a quick lay, because Storm had broken it off with her. Again. They do that all the time, but no matter what, they always end up together again. Until Dawn starts making eyes at someone else and then Lance'll do the manly thing and tell her they should see other people. And then they'll end up back together again. A great big circle.
Matt Hardy must have a first grade education, because he's staring daggers at Dawn. Which isn't too smart, because if he does anything to her, he'll feel the brunt of the entire ECW table's wrath. And that's not fun for anyone.
Speaking of not fun, I think I'm going to get some food.
Oh, festive little snowman cookies. How darling.
Yes, I think I was just visited by the ghost of all Jewish grandmothers.
I really need to get out of this place.
"Scott?" A very female voice wakes me from my inner dialogue.
"Lita?" I look up. And then smirk, "No ones called me that in a long time."
She shrugs, "That's what I've always called you." She stops and picks up one of the cookies, "Aw! These are so cute!"
"How's your neck?" I ask biting into my cookie and looking down. Damn this woman. She always makes me extremely bashful whenever she's around.
"It's good. Doctors say I can start training again by April."
"Which means you'll be starting in February."
"Pretty much."
"So, where have you been sitting? I haven't seen you."
"Ah, I've been here, I've been there. I've got to say hi to everyone, ya know."
Yep. That's my Lita. The complete opposite of me. While I was wallowing, alone, in self-pity she was off saying hello to all of her friends. I'm sure she stop at each table.
We stand in silence for a little bit, and we both grab for the punch spoon at the same time. "Sorry." I say blushing slightly.
"It's all right, Rav." She says and waits for me to pour her some punch into her cup. "Look at Beulah and Tommy, Raven. Don't they look perfect together?"
I look up, and there's Beulah-- handing Tommy some napkins that he can eat. And, once he's done eating it, he looks at her and grabs her in a big hug. And kisses her, rather passionately, as the table bursts into applause around them. "Yeah. They are pretty much made for each other."
"Don't you ever wish you had something like that Raven?" Lita asks still looking at them.
I nod, and slowly move closer to her. When she turns around to face me again, I look at her, rather pleadingly, and say, "You know. Matt Hardy looks like he's going to kill me."
She smiles at me, and before her lips touch mine, she whispers, "Let's give him something to kill us for, then."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The End (And Merry Christmas) (And a Happy Hanukah and holiday from all my muses)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why I'm I here? Well, I know why I'm here. Stephanie McMahon gave me her puppy dog eyes when she asked me to come. But, why haven't I left yet? I don't celebrate Christmas, and I'm not a big people person. I am Raven! The stereotypical antisocial, antiestablishment, anti-WWF Christmas parties! Yet, I'm still here. Alone. All alone. Everyone has someone.
Tommy was able to get Beulah to come. He sent her airplane tickets, so that she'd be able to be here with him. The happy newly married couple are doing just great. After catching up with her ECW boys, she made fast friends with Victoria. Poor Stevie Richards. Now his ex-girlfriend and new girlfriend were talking together. I'm sure Stevie will be sleeping on the couch tonight.
See what Christmas does to people? Sigh.
What else is going on? Lillian Garcia is trying to keep her boyfriend Rob from starting a drinking contest with Dreamer. No one drinks as much as Tommy, with the exception of yours truly, and no one can -not- hold their liquor as badly as Rob. Lillian is obviously the brains of their relationship.
The Dudley Clan is sitting at Dreamer's table. D-von and the lovely Miss Jackie are involved in a heated conversation. Probably about whether or not Texas is the best state in the US. You've got to love Jackie.... And Bubba is using his charms while talking to one of the stage hands. The little girl has had the largest crush on him. ...For reasons I sure don't know... And little Spike is all alone.
Oh! But, what is this?! Stacy Kielber just spilled her drink on Test, as DDP and Kanyon laugh, and the other occupants of the table, Billy and Torrie continue making out. I'm so proud of Kidman. I remember when he was a street urchin that I picked up off the street. And since Bischoff owed me, he let Kidman start to wrestle in WCW. Owed me... Was afraid of my wrath... Same thing. He was still sorry that he had to let Goldburg jobbed to me. Or maybe he was sorry that I almost set his car on fire in the parking lot. One of those reasons.
But, back to Stacy. She's walking over to Spike and sitting down. Do you see this, God?! Even Spike Dudley might be getting lucky tonight! Erg. No wonder I gave up on any sort of religion a long time ago....
And, what's this?! Poor Tazz. Michael Cole must have persuaded him to dress up. As an elf. The table is laughing so hard, that I think Beulah might start crying..."I'm a thug elf, damnit!" Sure you are Tazz. Sure you are.
In a small table in the back, my somewhat good friend, Shane Helms is sitting with his best friend Shannon Moore and a rather intoxicated Jamie Knoble. And Nidia is trying to stop him from playing strip poker with Shane. All this is happening while Little Guido, I mean Cousin Nuniso, is sitting back and laughing at the sight in front him.
Dawn Marie has finally made her appearance. She always has been known to make grand appearances. She leans over and gives me a peck on my cheek and I point her in the direction she wants to go. Sitting next to his buddy Justin, on the ECW table is Lance Storm. I watch silently as she skips over to him, the bottom half of her dress flying up, and those who aren't used to it, get a free show.
Some things never change.
I scanned the room again for something to occupy my time and I see the show of the night. Molly Holly has brought her boyfriend to show her cousins. As glad as I am that the Holly clan is somewhat back together again... The look on Bob's face when he sees who her new boyfriend is... That might split them up again. Or at least make holiday gatherings kind of hard. "Mom, Dad, Crash, Cousin Bob... Meet my boyfriend Brock Lesnar! He promised he won't F5 anyone through the table!"
At the Smackdown GMs table (because did you really think Eric would use his own money for something like this?! Ha!) Stephanie was surrounded by her latest suitors. Chris Benoit and Rhyno. Luckily the two of them got along pretty well, and have only been trying to outdo each other in jokes.
Also at their table, Kane and Terri were whispering to each other, and it's pretty damn scary to see Kane so happy that he starts to giggle. That defiantly goes under the 'things you don't see everyday' pile. And sitting next to them is a ..erm..festive Jeff Hardy. He is literally red and green. And he seems to be reciting a poem that he probably wrote to Trish Stratus.
While on my table of loserdom... HHH is glaring holes at Benoit and Rhyno. Normally the Crippler and Man Beast would glare right back at him, but currently they were having more fun making his ex-wife crack up. And that was a better punishment for him then being able to beat him up. Ric Flair is sitting next to Hunter, telling him he doesn't need a woman... As Flair is scanning the room, which just means that Moolah is supposed to be at this party too. What a hypocrite.
And, I'm sitting next to the biggest loser of them all (with the exception of myself of course). Matt Hardy. The dumbass broke up with the beautiful and talented Lita, in order to go out with Dawn Marie. Anyone with a second grade education would have realized that Dawn just needed a quick lay, because Storm had broken it off with her. Again. They do that all the time, but no matter what, they always end up together again. Until Dawn starts making eyes at someone else and then Lance'll do the manly thing and tell her they should see other people. And then they'll end up back together again. A great big circle.
Matt Hardy must have a first grade education, because he's staring daggers at Dawn. Which isn't too smart, because if he does anything to her, he'll feel the brunt of the entire ECW table's wrath. And that's not fun for anyone.
Speaking of not fun, I think I'm going to get some food.
Oh, festive little snowman cookies. How darling.
Yes, I think I was just visited by the ghost of all Jewish grandmothers.
I really need to get out of this place.
"Scott?" A very female voice wakes me from my inner dialogue.
"Lita?" I look up. And then smirk, "No ones called me that in a long time."
She shrugs, "That's what I've always called you." She stops and picks up one of the cookies, "Aw! These are so cute!"
"How's your neck?" I ask biting into my cookie and looking down. Damn this woman. She always makes me extremely bashful whenever she's around.
"It's good. Doctors say I can start training again by April."
"Which means you'll be starting in February."
"Pretty much."
"So, where have you been sitting? I haven't seen you."
"Ah, I've been here, I've been there. I've got to say hi to everyone, ya know."
Yep. That's my Lita. The complete opposite of me. While I was wallowing, alone, in self-pity she was off saying hello to all of her friends. I'm sure she stop at each table.
We stand in silence for a little bit, and we both grab for the punch spoon at the same time. "Sorry." I say blushing slightly.
"It's all right, Rav." She says and waits for me to pour her some punch into her cup. "Look at Beulah and Tommy, Raven. Don't they look perfect together?"
I look up, and there's Beulah-- handing Tommy some napkins that he can eat. And, once he's done eating it, he looks at her and grabs her in a big hug. And kisses her, rather passionately, as the table bursts into applause around them. "Yeah. They are pretty much made for each other."
"Don't you ever wish you had something like that Raven?" Lita asks still looking at them.
I nod, and slowly move closer to her. When she turns around to face me again, I look at her, rather pleadingly, and say, "You know. Matt Hardy looks like he's going to kill me."
She smiles at me, and before her lips touch mine, she whispers, "Let's give him something to kill us for, then."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The End (And Merry Christmas) (And a Happy Hanukah and holiday from all my muses)