Disclaimer: Tired of making funny jokes in her disclaimers, Sandy87 has
decided to just tell you that she doesn't own Jak and Daxter or anyone from
the game or the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas". She doesn't even own
her sanity. Nor does she own the reviews that she hopes to get as Christmas
presents!
It had to happen. I wanted to do another short funny fic because I was bored. Christmas is certainly a good time of the year. No school! Two weeks of schoolless glory! Wahoo! Anyway, this is another song-fic spoof.
The Twelve Days of Jak and Daxter Christmas
It was Christmas in Sandover Village. And Rock Village. And the Volcanic Crater. And...and everywhere else in Jak and Daxter's world. And this meant that... The Mayor was going crazy. After all, if he didn't give out presents to every single person in Sandover, he wouldn't be reelected. Not that it mattered. There wasn't anyone running against him. Plus, there were less than ten people living in Sandover Village. He wasn't really Mayor of that much anyway, and no one else wanted his job, what with all the worrying he did. So, to help boost his unneeded election popularity, he decided to record a new album and pass it out!
"Oh, oh, when will they get here? When will they get here? Oh, I wish they'd hurry up and-"
"Daxter!"
"...go away." The Mayor stopped in his pacing. "Hello! Hello! Welcome! I hope you're ready to sing, because we've got a new song! Here, just read the words here on this page. Don't worry, it's not in Precursor like last year's. I trust you all know the tune?"
Daxter looked at the paper the Mayor had given him. "On the first...a vote for the Mayor's reelection...second...vote for the Mayor...third...Mayor vote...vote...vote...vote... What is this garbage? All it says is "vote for the Mayor" over and over!"
"Exactly! Saturate the media! It worked for McDonalds; how else could a resturant with fake chicken and soggy fries with no salt on them serve so many people?"
"This isn't music! It reeks!"
"For once, I have to agree with Daxter," Keira added. Jak and Samos nodded. The Mayor's song writing abilities were, to put it mildly, less than subpar. "Oh, well, I guess we can ad lib."
"Well, whatever, just make sure you remember that this is for my campain!" The Mayor set up his ancient record player with a Christmas kareoke record. He had managed to get a CD burner, however, so the inhabitants wouldn't have to line up outside his hut to use the only record player left in the entire village, possibly the world.
"Sure thing, Windbag!" Daxter, of course. Samos and Jak both whapped him for his rudeness. "Alright! And a one, and a two, and a..."
All: "On the first day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Keira: "An ottsel - "
Daxter: "That's me!"
Keira: " - in a MARIO PLANT!" ::tosses Daxter out the window, only he lands in the water, not a plant::
All: "On the second day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Geologist: "Two Lighning Moles,"
All: "And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the third day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Bird Watcher: "Three baby Flut-Fluts!"
All: "Two Lightning Moles, And an ottsel in an ocean!"
All: "On the fourth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Sculptor: "Four shiney muses!"
All: "Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the fifth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
::crickets chirp:: ::all turn around::
Jak: ::holding sign:: FIVE POWER CELLS
All: "Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the sixth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Maia: ::popping in for a moment:: "Six Lurker-Dogs-that-actually-weren't- drooling!"::pops out::
All: "Five Power Cells!
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the seventh day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Daxter: :: swimming and screaming frantically:: "SEVEN SHARKS A-SWIMMING!"
All: "Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel...::look outside::...in a shark's belly!"
All: "On the eighth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Farmer: "Eight ::snore:: pre-milked Yakkows...Zzzz..."
All: "Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel with stinky wet fur!"
All: "On the ninth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Samos: "Nine girls inventing...stuff..."
All: "Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel on a dry beach!"
All: "On the tenth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Gambler: "Ten beat-up heros that I lost all my money on!"
All: "Nine girls inventing,
Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel with a hair-drier!"
All: "On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Willard (tall miner): "Eleven miners...mining...?"
Gordy (short cheapskate miner): "Well, what else would we be doing? And get back to digging!"
All: "Ten beat-up heros,
Nine girls inventing,
Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a bad mood!"
All: "On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Keira: "Twelve Jaks a-jumping!"
All: "Eleven miners mining,
Ten beat-up heros,
Nine girls inventing,
Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel - "
Daxter: "Who is TAKING HIS NAP!"
"Well, that about wraps it up. And remember to vote for me!"
"Sure thing, Mayor," Jak said, giving a thumbs up. Everyone else just fainted.
Yup. The Twelve Days of Jak and Daxter Christmas. That's my present to you all. Now, ::singing:: "All I Want for Christmas is Some Good ReViews"! Merry Christmas (or whatever you may celebrate) and a happy New Year!
It had to happen. I wanted to do another short funny fic because I was bored. Christmas is certainly a good time of the year. No school! Two weeks of schoolless glory! Wahoo! Anyway, this is another song-fic spoof.
The Twelve Days of Jak and Daxter Christmas
It was Christmas in Sandover Village. And Rock Village. And the Volcanic Crater. And...and everywhere else in Jak and Daxter's world. And this meant that... The Mayor was going crazy. After all, if he didn't give out presents to every single person in Sandover, he wouldn't be reelected. Not that it mattered. There wasn't anyone running against him. Plus, there were less than ten people living in Sandover Village. He wasn't really Mayor of that much anyway, and no one else wanted his job, what with all the worrying he did. So, to help boost his unneeded election popularity, he decided to record a new album and pass it out!
"Oh, oh, when will they get here? When will they get here? Oh, I wish they'd hurry up and-"
"Daxter!"
"...go away." The Mayor stopped in his pacing. "Hello! Hello! Welcome! I hope you're ready to sing, because we've got a new song! Here, just read the words here on this page. Don't worry, it's not in Precursor like last year's. I trust you all know the tune?"
Daxter looked at the paper the Mayor had given him. "On the first...a vote for the Mayor's reelection...second...vote for the Mayor...third...Mayor vote...vote...vote...vote... What is this garbage? All it says is "vote for the Mayor" over and over!"
"Exactly! Saturate the media! It worked for McDonalds; how else could a resturant with fake chicken and soggy fries with no salt on them serve so many people?"
"This isn't music! It reeks!"
"For once, I have to agree with Daxter," Keira added. Jak and Samos nodded. The Mayor's song writing abilities were, to put it mildly, less than subpar. "Oh, well, I guess we can ad lib."
"Well, whatever, just make sure you remember that this is for my campain!" The Mayor set up his ancient record player with a Christmas kareoke record. He had managed to get a CD burner, however, so the inhabitants wouldn't have to line up outside his hut to use the only record player left in the entire village, possibly the world.
"Sure thing, Windbag!" Daxter, of course. Samos and Jak both whapped him for his rudeness. "Alright! And a one, and a two, and a..."
All: "On the first day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Keira: "An ottsel - "
Daxter: "That's me!"
Keira: " - in a MARIO PLANT!" ::tosses Daxter out the window, only he lands in the water, not a plant::
All: "On the second day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Geologist: "Two Lighning Moles,"
All: "And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the third day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Bird Watcher: "Three baby Flut-Fluts!"
All: "Two Lightning Moles, And an ottsel in an ocean!"
All: "On the fourth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Sculptor: "Four shiney muses!"
All: "Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the fifth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
::crickets chirp:: ::all turn around::
Jak: ::holding sign:: FIVE POWER CELLS
All: "Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the sixth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Maia: ::popping in for a moment:: "Six Lurker-Dogs-that-actually-weren't- drooling!"::pops out::
All: "Five Power Cells!
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a pear tree!"
All: "On the seventh day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Daxter: :: swimming and screaming frantically:: "SEVEN SHARKS A-SWIMMING!"
All: "Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel...::look outside::...in a shark's belly!"
All: "On the eighth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Farmer: "Eight ::snore:: pre-milked Yakkows...Zzzz..."
All: "Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel with stinky wet fur!"
All: "On the ninth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Samos: "Nine girls inventing...stuff..."
All: "Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel on a dry beach!"
All: "On the tenth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Gambler: "Ten beat-up heros that I lost all my money on!"
All: "Nine girls inventing,
Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel with a hair-drier!"
All: "On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Willard (tall miner): "Eleven miners...mining...?"
Gordy (short cheapskate miner): "Well, what else would we be doing? And get back to digging!"
All: "Ten beat-up heros,
Nine girls inventing,
Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel in a bad mood!"
All: "On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Sages gave to me - "
Keira: "Twelve Jaks a-jumping!"
All: "Eleven miners mining,
Ten beat-up heros,
Nine girls inventing,
Eight pre-milked Yakkows,
Seven sharks a-swimming,
Six non-drooly Lurker Dogs,
Five Power Cells,
Four shiney muses,
Three baby Flut-Fluts,
Two Lightning Moles,
And an ottsel - "
Daxter: "Who is TAKING HIS NAP!"
"Well, that about wraps it up. And remember to vote for me!"
"Sure thing, Mayor," Jak said, giving a thumbs up. Everyone else just fainted.
Yup. The Twelve Days of Jak and Daxter Christmas. That's my present to you all. Now, ::singing:: "All I Want for Christmas is Some Good ReViews"! Merry Christmas (or whatever you may celebrate) and a happy New Year!