Author's Note: Here is a re-written version of the old Thoughts in My Head. I wasn't happy with how the other one turned out and am not terribly happy with this one either...but it's better, at least. Leon is significantly more uncomfortable here.
Special thanks to Appealshippingftw for reminding me that oh yeah I'm an author and getting me to pick up the proverbial pen again. Still haven't gone back to write what was suggested, but it's a start.
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Petshop of Horrors. This is written purely for fan-based entertainment.
Warning: This story is heavily implied, possibly pre-SLASH.
...
"You know D..."
"T-Chan, if you say one more word I will personally cut off your horns."
The totetsu reclined against the armrest of the couch he was splayed on and crossed his arms behind his head, grinning.
"Aw, c'mon D. You can only deny it for so long...," the goat-creature called as Count D retreated into the small kitchen. He sighed delicately and began to pour out a cup of tea from the whistling pot. That totetsu could be such a pain sometimes, butting into personal matters that were really none of his business. He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and sipped at his cup, letting the warmth of his overly sweetened tea soothe his nerves. Closing his eyes, he savored his moment of peace. Yes, now he could think straight. Of course what T-Chan said was not true. It couldn't be. That sort of thing just wouldn't do.
Placing the cup back on a small tea tray, he carefully took a long breath and re-entered the front room. A few more animals had gathered to witness the conversation and D sent a cold glare at all of them, but only elicited a few giggles from the females and a smirk or two on the males, though those quickly vanished at D's expression.
"You should tell him," T-Chan said after a minute. D whirled on him, prepared to shout. Who did they think they were to talk to him this way? He stopped short when he saw the serious look on T-Chan's face, threw his hands up in frustration and turned away, angry. T-Chan continued, undaunted, "You know he'd be good for you."
"He could use more positive influences in his life," little Pon-Chan added. "Maybe you could convince him to keep his apartment decently clean."
"Or give up those cancer sticks," T-Chan added.
"That would be quite the feat, but surely you understand..."
"What?" T-Chan interrupted as he leaned forward, balancing on his knuckles. "That you can't let yourself be happy?"
"I am happy, thank you," D said sharply. "I have this shop, my tea, and all of you."
"But you don't have him," T-Chan said, staring intently at his friend.
"Mr. Detective would never consent to what you are suggesting," D responded, staring back over the rim of his cup.
"Then you just have to be a little bolder is all." T-Chan settled back into the couch again, smirk settled firmly on his mouth. "Don't be afraid to step up and take what's yours."
'What is he taking, T-chan?' came the confused mental voice of Chris, who had taken a seat on the floor by the boy's couch.
"Nothing, Chris," T-Chan responded. "I'll tell you when you're older." Glancing at D, he added, "Come on, let's head into the back. The Count has some thinking to do." And he dragged the rest of the pets out with him.
"Totestu...what idea have you put in my head?" He muttered to himself, setting down his tea cup. A clock chimed somewhere in the depths of the pet shop and he stood abruptly. The Dectective would be by soon. More tea was in order. Yes, much more tea.
Leon arrived not long after, smiling widely. He dropped onto D's couch with a satisfied sigh, putting his feet up and lacing his fingers behind his head. D watched him from the kitchen door.
"Having a good day, Detective?"
"Fucking incredible, D. I busted up two robberies and a mugging just this afternoon. I feel invincible," he said with a grin, stretching luxuriously. He tossed a small box at the Count. "I brought you something. I thought you might like them; it's something new."
"Why, thank you, Detective. You didn't have to bring me anything," D repeated his typical response even as he peeled off the wrapping, unable to hide his excitement. He was such a sucker for sweets.
"Yeah but I wanted to. I'm having a great day; you should too."
The box held raspberry filled pastries, sprinkled with powdered sugar. D took one cautiously and took a small bite. He closed his eyes and smiled contentedly as the berry taste filled his mouth.
"They're delicious!" he said, his eyes gleaming with happiness.
"Good thing you like them. The baker woman said you inspired it," Leon said. D paused part way through popping one in his mouth. "Aw come on, D. You're one of her best customers."
"I'll have to find some way to thank her," D responded between bites. "I seem to remember she likes birds..." he said and gazed off into nowhere as he reviewed in his head the birds available in the shop. "Maybe something red...for the raspberry..."
Leon rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "Is it possible for you to go a day without thinking business?"
D looked at him with wide-eyed innocence. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, my dear detective. You are in a pet shop. It is only natural to think of animals."
Leon snorted. "Yeah. Right."
"Manners, Detective- oh! And where are mine? I haven't offered you any tea!" D turned on his heels and bustled off into the kitchen. As he poured the tea, he considered how pleasant the laughter of the Detective had become, and how rare. He heard the Detective shout in the other room and hurried back, unsurprised to see T-Chan biting at a pant leg.
"D! Get this damn goat off me!" Leon yelled as he flailed. D chuckled behind his hand as he set the tea tray back on the coffee table, and lowered himself onto the couch. T-Chan reluctantly let go of the leg as D waved him away. Instead, he took a seat by D's feet, glaring occasionally at Leon.
As Leon picked up the offered tea cup, the back door opened and Chris shuffled in.
"Hey, kiddo," Leon said to him. "Why so glum?"
'No one ever tells me anything around here. It's always 'you're too young, I'll tell you when you're older. I'm old enough!' Chris pouted.
"Oh? And just what is being discussed near my kid brother that he's too young to hear?" Leon asked suspiciously. "Murder plots? Drug trafficking? D, what are you up to now?"
D tried to ignore the odd sound coming from T-Chan that may have been snickering. "Detective, I would never discuss such things in front of children."
'Hey!'
"It was pet business. Nothing you would be interested in," he responded between bites. T-Chan muttered something from the floor, and D hoped the warm feeling in his face was not a blush. T-Chan could be so crude.
"I bet," Leon said, looking suspiciously into his tea.
D raised his elegant eyebrows. "Is there a problem?"
"You were sharing secrets with the goat and I'm drinking your tea. How do I know you didn't put something in this?"
D clamped a hand on T-Chan's head to stop him from laughing and responded, "What makes you think our secrets are about you, dear Detective?"
Leon just sniffed his tea carefully. "I dunno, D, but there's always something weird going on in this shop."
"Sometimes the dreams we sell are a little unusual," D said with a shrug.
Leon detected a bit of that strange expression D often got when he was stepping into his persona of petshop owner and Leon quickly said, "But I don't want to go there!"
"Oh and just where do you want to go?"
Leon stood. "Back to my apartment sounds good. You guys are really weird tonight. Weirder than usual." With a last gulp of his tea, he strode to the door. "Thanks for the tea, D," he added as he left.
T-chan, practically bursting by this time, fell over with laughter. D waited until he caught his breath to ask, "What do you find so funny?"
"You make him so uncomfortable!" He cackled.
"Uncomfortable?" D asked.
"Yeah," T-Chan said with a grin. "Everything about this place makes him uncomfortable, you most of all. Surely you've seen it?"
"I always thought our Detective to simply be socially awkward," D said.
"Ha," T-Chan scoffed, than rethought. "You know, I don't think he sees it either. Humans are pretty good at the whole denial thing. Maybe you should convince him." Seeing D's glare, he grinned. "Oh please, you've always flirted with him in the past."
D, aghast, replied, "I have never flirted with the Detective!"
T-Chan snorted. "Puh-lease. You always have and you know it. And now that it's just started to take hold you're chickening out."
"T-Chan, I have no idea where this is coming from but you have no idea what you're insinuating."
"I'm insinuating that you have a chance at something really good here. All you have to do is step up and take it. But you won't," T-Chan said, standing and brushing off his pants. "I'm heading into the back for a bit. You should take this time for some, what's it called, 'self examination,' and all that fancy crap." As he was leaving, he turned to D once more. "You know, why don't you test him? You have all those crazy concoctions in the back, after all…"
D listened to the door shut behind the totetsu from his position on the couch. Surely, T-Chan was just playing games. There could never be anything between him and the Detective. Never. He couldn't get that attached. They had something good going already, if he allowed himself to think about it. And those "concoctions," as T-Chan put it. A few scents is all, occasionally put out to help a few pets with mating issues. They probably wouldn't even effect a human….
He sat there for a long time, before getting up to check that Chris was in bed. Standing in the doorway, he watched the boy sleep. This place was already home to the child, even when he had only been here a short time. He felt a familiar tightness in his chest thinking of the Orcot family. As part of his shop, Chris had become part of his family. Could there be room for another human? He didn't even know what he would do when Chris grew too old to see the animals, let alone let an adult in. What a dilemma.
Laying down to sleep himself that night, he couldn't seem to get his thoughts away from one Leon Orcot. He thought of how they met, how the detective kept returning despite having no real official reason to. He remembered how Leon once complained of his coworkers teasing him about how he kept coming back. So defensive of his masculinity he was, D wondered if perhaps it meant something more than he thought. Denial, T-Chan had said….
He pushed back the covers of his bed, grabbed his robe, and padded his was to the kitchen, moving without thinking to put the kettle on for tea. As he reached to add the tea, he paused. No, he thought. Sugar won't help me think. Reluctantly, he left the pot unprepared.
Instead, he wrapped his robe tightly around himself and went into the front room, troubled that this issue was so distracting that he had even forgone tea. Looking into a mirror on one wall, a gift from a patron, gaudily decorated with a stained glass peacock, he smoothed his hands down his front. He scrutinized his slim figure, well fitted to the clothing he wore. His chest, broad enough. Flat stomach despite his sweets. Narrow hips. Did the detective find him attractive? Many humans had expressed interest in him over the years. More importantly, did he find the detective attractive?
Moving to one of the couches, he sat on the edge of a cushion. He didn't move again until T-Chan wandered in a few hours later, seeking breakfast. Later that day, the detective finally returned. D had been fussing with something on one of the side tables.
"D, what is that?" Leon said as he took his usual seat.
"Oh, just something new I'm trying." D shrugged off the comment and left the bowl of scented liquid on the table. He watched Leon closely as the musky, sweet scent pervaded the room. He sat on his couch.
"You have no idea how good it feels to be back," Leon said, stretching and leaning back against the couch. He took a deep breath and sighed.
"Was the case very difficult? Nothing you couldn't handle, I'm sure," D added, his voice soft and low.
Leon hesitated, blinking at the sudden haziness he felt in him mind. "No- I mean yeah, yeah I had it under control."
"Of course, my dear detective." D smiled. "Your timing is remarkable, as usual. It is tea time. Allow me to get you a cup." D disappeared into the kitchen.
"Yeah, sure," Leon responded. He ran a hand through his hair and laughed slightly. D certainly could be a weird guy. And this new scent was really something. It even covered up the eternal reek of tea.
"Here we are," D said when he returned with a tray of tea cups. He offered the tray to Leon.
"Hey, D, what you were messing with before, is it some kind of new incense? It smells pretty decent."
"I'm glad you like it," D replied with a strange sort of smile.
Leon looked around, starting to become unnerved. "Where are all the pets? The goat hasn't bitten me yet."
"Oh, them." D waved a hand dismissively after he set down the tray and took his cup. "They've been…in a mood recently."
"Huh. Seem like they're always in a mood to me." Noticing D watching him closely, he gave him a puzzled look.
"Anything wrong, detective?" D asked keeping his eyes trained unblinkingly at Leon.
"No, I…. guess not. I just thought you were acting a little weird." D laughed lightly, eyes twinkling over the rim of his cup.
"Oh detective, you've spent too much time on the job. You should let me help you relax," D said with a hungry smile. Leon choked on his tea, dropping his cup.
"Detective!" Cried the count. "What has gotten into you!"
Leon sputtered. "What did you just say?"
"I said that you spend too much time working and should relax more!" D looked at him strangely.
"I, uh, must have misunderstood you…." Leon stumbled over his words as he went to pick up the broken saucer.
"Allow me, detective." It seemed to Leon that D's fingers brushed over his wrist as he reached for the cup, lingering longer than necessary. He snapped his hand back, standing quickly. D looked at him from his position kneeling on the carpet.
"I- I gotta go, D. I-..I'll-… I got a big case going on. I don't know when I'll be back." And he turned for the door. D was still watching him, like a hawk eyeing a mouse. "
"Get some rest, my poor detective."
Leon turned, hand on the door knob, to stare wide-eyed at the Count, still cleaning up the carpet before fleeing out the door.
D chuckled as the door clicked shut. Perhaps the pets were right about something being between him and Leon. D stood and put the lid on the pot of scented liquid that was the bane of the detective's afternoon, laughing to himself. He supposed he shouldn't be so surprised. Humans, after all, were animals too. But such a response from his dear detective…
The count shook his head. No, this was unfair of him, putting the detective in such a compromising position. He would keep his new found knowledge of the detective's….dare he say attraction? to himself. For now. Eventually, perhaps, he would tell him just what he was doing with his little pot of scented oils. Perhaps.
...
Author's note: I have no idea if anything would work the way I have D's oils working, but they're supposed to be something along the lines of some kind of pheromone. But really, it's D. He can do whatever he wants. Possible alternate ending to come.