Deadpool discovers Twilight

First fanfic, 'Pools thoughts in bold and writers reply in italics. If there's any interest I'll add a chapter or two. Enjoy.

"You knew you had this coming right? If it wasn't me it was going to be someone else or the guy after him or the guy behind the guy who knows a guy that knows a guy who got dragged to watch those god awful movies too". The man with the red mask continued addressing the woman bound and gagged in the chair, "You should be happy Steph I didn't just go watch the movies and decide your garbage was garbage I even read the books… all four of them! Fine they were audio books and I made blind Al listen to them then say the words to me,it still counts

"Why? I just had to know why? I mean Vampire diaries I can get behind. The writers know what males want Nina Dobrev in a cheerleader outfit then a nurse outfit and then Katherine, yep definitely something I can get behind 'Pool winked at the obviously terrified lady.

You know they are the same person right?

No way man Katherine is hotter.

Can you just tie this up already?

Don't rush me damnit! Do you know how many people would kill to kill her? I gotta make it special.

The gun that Deadpool had been waving around while arguing with voices only he could hear went off. Boom the chair kicked back and toppled over, the woman's face now sporting a smoking hole in her forehead.

Holy Taco on a stick look what you made me do!

You should be more careful with guns they are dangerous you know You're the damn writer you made me do it!

It's all good she's dead you did good.

But I had a pop culture reference bad ass line to say before I killed her.

Really?

Yeah it was pretty good too.

All right you got me do it.

'Pool steps over the dead body and pulls out his gun aiming it at the center of her chest.

Well?

Well what?

Why haven't you brought her back to life yet so I can kill her dumbass!

Oh you got to be kidding me I'm not messing with Death she's more insane then you are.

So just shoot her again.

Pretty much unless you have a problem with that?

Works for me

'Pool leaned in close now resting the gun on her chest "Are you ready Steph this is going to blow your mind no pun intended" he leaned in even closer to whisper into her ear "Your Beautiful" and pulled the trigger this time his bullet tore through flesh and bone before embedding itself in her heart.

What the hell kind of line was that!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you shouda seen your face gotta tweet this Deadpool whips out his phone frantically types out a messages while still laughing madly Funniest thing happened just got fanfic writer so bad lol lmao rotfl lmfao… Take that Lady Gaga.

Are you going to do the line or not

Ok sheeeeeeeeeeeesh relax abit will ya

Deadpool pulled out his second gun, pointing both and the dead body "This one is for Anne" and he fired "and Lestat" he fired again "and Louis and Akasha and David"

Twenty minutes later….

"And Marius and Pandora and Vittori" the gun clicked "Damn I'm out" he looked down at the bullet ridden corpse of what once resembled a woman and Deadpool felt good

I'm pretty sure I'm getting a Nobel peace prize for ending all this team Edward and team Jacob crap, you think they will throw in some free chimichangas?

It was then that Deadpool noticed the computer at her desk was turned on. You know what would be funny if we went on all her sites and announced a new book coming out.

That's just mean…we should totally do that.

As 'Pool cleared the screen saver he was met with the face of a horrified reporter for Fox news. "You were on a Skype interview this entire time! Why didn't you say something" He glared accusingly at the vaguely human shape on the floor. He heard noise coming from the computer so he turned the volume up "We saw what you did you monster, all of America has seen you and you should know the cops are on the way'' 'Pool heard police sirens I hear police sirens this was not good thought Deadpool This was not good he was getting annoyed and wasting valuable time Look your starting to piss me off cut that out

I was just trying something new sheeeeeeeeesh relax a bit will ya?

Nobody likes a smart ass unless it's me got that buddy?

The sirens were getting closer. A new sound emerged, was that the sound of helicopters 'Pool thought Those sound like helicopters hey I told you cut that out!

Couldn't resist but I'm done now scouts honor

'Pool skidded on what was left of Steph's head as he smashed through the window and began to run.

Hope you guys enjoyed read and review, any thoughts welcome