****PLEASE READ THIS NOTE*****
Look, I haven't written much in a long time, and this fic is completely outside either show's regular universes, which I realize isn't my regular MO. Jane and Maura are more along the personalities of Season 1/Season 2 Jane and Maura, and the Once characters are more along the lines of pre-author but post Neverland. If Pan had died but Gold had not, and everyone was in an uneasy state of "okay, but what new horror of the season is going to come upon us," then you'd be about spot on for where they are in their characterizations.

However, I'm cherry picking from both shows, so some things might seem out of whack to those of you who are staunch in your timelines. Please just know I'm not trying to be an asshat about it; I'm just trying to make this story fun.

Also, I own none of these characters, settings, etc. I get nothing out of this at all but, I hope, a little fun, so, please, no one sue me.
****CARRY ON, AND THANK YOU FOR READING THAT LONG A/N****

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Jane grumbled as she slouched down in the passenger's seat. "You could at least let me drive."

"I just bought this car. I'm going to take time to enjoy driving it first, which, may I remind you, was the reason for this road trip." Maura flicked her eyes from the road just quickly enough to give her copilot a hard look. "You promised not to complain if you came along."

The brunette's expression grew more sullied. "Yeah, well, that was before I realized I wouldn't be able to drive, eat anything, or drink anything while we were in the car. This bites, Maura. Road trips are supposed to be fun, and this is definitely not fun."

"Jane, can't you be content to enjoy the scenery? Maine is a beautiful state, and the leaves have begun to change. People travel from all around the United States to see this kind of beauty. Can't you just take a moment to appreciate the awe inspiring power of nature as it continues on the cycle of…"

"No."

The honey haired brunette sighed heavily, not bothering to hide her eye roll. "Alright, then, what about this? At the very next town we come to, we'll stop for the day and enjoy whatever it has to offer?"

Jane snorted. "You just want to go shopping at some antique place or go buy something Maine-ish I've never heard of that's some kind of weird delicacy here, and I'll have to follow you around and pretend like I'm not bored."

Maura's voice flatlined from trying to be cheerful to annoyed. "I don't believe in all the time I've know you have you ever attempted to pretend not to be bored." She let out another, shorter but no less frustrated sigh. "You know, I thought a small diversion would help with how cranky you've been lately, but I can see I've only given you fodder for something else to complain about."

"I'm not cranky," the younger woman snapped back, crossing her arms and turning to stare down the driver.

"Says the woman who threw a small hissy fit when the office ran out of sugar and you had to go down to the café to get some."

"Hey," Jane pointed a finger at her companion, "you and I both know how freaking hard it is to get away from Ma when we go in there, and I was right. She pinned me there for twenty minutes while she tried to talk me into dating Jim Wilson."

"Jim Wilson?" Maura frowned in thought. "Jim Wilson, the defense attorney?"

"Yes! As if I'd ever date someone as scummy as that guy." The brunette huffed. "I'd rather date my right shoe first."

"Perhaps the left," Maura replied with a smirk. "I believe your right has a hole in it."

"You know what I mean!" Jane ran her hand through her hair, getting stuck about half way through and deciding to just leave it there for a moment. "Maybe I do need a break."

"Everyone needs breaks, even you. Why don't we consider my offer, hmmm? We can stay in the next little town for a few days and then turn back instead of going all the way up the coast. Instead of a road trip, it can be a small vacation. Perhaps they'll have a bed and breakfast we can stay at? Wouldn't that be lovely?"

Slowly pulling her hand out of her hair, Jane took in a deep breath as she sat up straighter in her seat. "Maybe?" She scrunched her face up as she gave her friend a pleading look. "I want fries."

Maura chuckled. "Okay."

"…and a burger…"

"I'm sure we can…"

"And a milkshake, and I don't want to have to run it off the next day, and I want to be able to eat whatever I want without feeling guilty about it."

"Okay, fine, Jane. We'll just call this our cheat time. Will that work?"

Jane narrowed her eyes. "Only if you promise not to… Maura? Hey, what are you doing?"

"I'm turning around. We can't go any further down this road." Maura glanced around the empty road, lined with trees, as she began to consider the best way to u-turn.

"What? Why not? The road's clear." Jane shook her head. "There's nothing, and I mean nothing, up there. What the hell? Just keep going."

"I," the older woman shook her head and stared in front of her as she tried to understand what had stopped her in the middle of the road. "I suppose you're right. I don't know what's wrong with me. Perhaps I need to take a break, too?" With another little shake of her head, she slowly pushed down on the accelerator and the car moved on. It lurched just a touch a moment later and stalled out completely, leaving them stranded on a long stretch of deserted road with no indication they were anywhere near a town.

"Crap." Jane hit the dashboard with her right hand as she grabbed for her phone with her left. "No bars. You?"

Maura shook her head. "No."

"Nothing's ever easy for us, is it?" The lanky woman pulled on the handle and tumbled out of the passenger's seat, stumbling a bit as she oriented herself to walking after being in the car for several hours. Glancing around, she took in the tall pine trees, crisp air, and light mist around them. Down the direction from which they'd come, there was nothing. Looking ahead of them, there was nothing. She wiped at her face as she walked around to see what the other woman had worked out about the car. "Anything?"

"No, there's nothing I can see that would cause the car to stall, but," Maura pulled her head out from under the hood, careful not to get her clothes dirty, "the engine is too hot for me to really do a thorough inspection." She glanced around. "I believe we're going to have to walk."

"Pop the trunk. I'm not walking in these boots. I packed sneakers, and I doubt you want to walk in that." Jane motioned up and down at the other woman's outfit.

"No, I'd rather not walk who knows how long in high heels and this dress." The older woman frowned as she opened her well organized suitcase. "However, I didn't really pack anything with the thought we'd be doing much outside physical activity, either."

"Let me guess," the dark haired brunette said between grunts as she pulled off her boots one-by-one, hopping on one foot as she put a sneaker on the other. "Nothing but skirts and dresses as far as the eye can see?"

"No, I do have leggings and a pair of sneakers, but I packed those for lounging. This mist is fairly thick, and I think I'll get too cold wearing leggings and a night shirt while walking down the side of the road."

Rolling her eyes, Jane opened her duffle bag again and started to rummage through the balled up clothes stuffed in it. After a few minutes, she pulled out another pair of jeans and another long sleeved shirt. Unlike Jane's, which read 'Boston PD,' this one read 'Boston ME.' "Here, you can wear this."

"Is that my shirt?" Maura took the offered clothes. "Jane, I've been looking for this shirt for two weeks now."

"You left it at my place, and, since you never wear t-shirts unless you're gardening or something, I figured you wouldn't miss it. You know how much I like the freebie shirts the PD gives out. They're comfy and warm." Jane shrugged. "I think you should just be happy I have it."

"I think that, when this is over, you and I are going to talk about when it is and is not appropriate to hold a friend's clothing without their consent," Maura grumbled as she began to shimmy out of her dress and pull on the borrowed clothes.

Jane raised a judgmental eyebrow. "Pink polka dots? Really?"

"Occasionally, I shop at Victoria's Secret. I thought this set was pretty." The shorter woman shrugged and zipped up the pants as if to accent her point. "Also, I really like the little bow in the middle of the bra." She pointed at it before grabbing the shirt. "Isn't it cute?"

The younger woman's jaw flexed and she glanced away quickly. "Will you please just put some clothes on so we can get going?"

Maura pulled the shirt over her head, and grabbed her shoes. "I'm going to sit in the car to put my shoes on, and I want to grab a few things while I'm in there. Then we can push the car out of the road and leave."

"Great." Jane looked around again, squinting down the long stretch of road. "Which way are we going to go?"

"North," Maura called out from inside the car.

"Why north?" The detective's eyes continued to scout around them, and she couldn't help but feel alarmed whenever she looked north, in the direction they had been heading when the car stalled. She reached into her duffle bag again and pulled out her pistol and shield, happy she'd decided to bring it and the back holster along with them despite the other woman's protests. She slide the weapon down the small of her back, checked to make sure the holster was secure, and then slipped the badge around her neck and under her shirt. "Maura, I've got a bad feeling about this."

"What kind of bad feeling?" The older woman stepped out of the car and motioned for her companion to push. They slowly moved the new Mercedes to the shoulder and out of the way of any potential traffic.

"Just a gut feeling that something isn't right here." A strong gust of wind blew over them while they pushed, and a moment later the car was on the side of the road and in front of a welcome sign. "What the actual hell?"

"Jane, was that sign there a moment ago?"

"No, it wasn't, and now I am one hundred percent positive something isn't right here. A sign doesn't just appear out of nowhere, Maura."

The honey haired woman stared at the sign ahead of them as if it might jump out and attack at any moment. "What do you suggest we do?"

"The car is still broken down," Jane checked her phone and grunted. "Our phones still don't have a signal, and it's getting late. I don't know what's in these woods, but I'm guessing nothing good, and I haven't seen a single car pass by us in over two hours, so I don't think we're going to get lucky enough to hitch a ride. We're going to have to go into this town. We can't stay here."

"Well," Maura stepped out of the car's door and closed it, locking it securely before slowly moving toward the magically appearing sign. "Perhaps we'll get lucky and this town will be every bit like the name suggests?"

Jane stepped up to join her, eyes scanning over the quaint little hand painted sign. "Storybrooke? Last time I checked fairytales didn't exist."

"Even if they did, "the smaller woman added as they began to walk, "the fairytales which we've become accustomed to from Disney lore are far from accurate to the beginnings of most of those legends. For examples, in the original Snow White, the evil queen is made to wear red hot metal shoes and forced to dance to death. In the original Cinderella, the young girl is actually a princess who is trying to escape marriage to her own father."

Jane gagged a little. "That's disgusting."

"Yes, which is why she was opposed. She tricks him into creating a chest in which she can escape and uses the chest to do so. She ends up in a different land in which she becomes a scullery maid, and the rest of the story, as we are more familiar with it, remains mostly the same. In Hansel and Gretel, the children aren't being plumped up for a witch but for the Devil and his wife. While the Devil goes for a walk one day, the children trick his wife into demonstrating how the boy should lay on the device the Devil intends to use to bleed him to death. When the wife demonstrates, the girl ties her up to the device, and the children then slit her throat before escaping captivity. The Devil learns what's happened and gives chase, but, in the process of going after them, he, too, dies."

"Brutal," Jane replied while they walked along the deserted road and she kept an eye out for trouble. "Maybe we should hope this town is the exact opposite of its namesake then?"

Thanks for reading. Comments would be appreciated.