"Welcome to Dr. Hojo's World Of SCIENCE!"
The first-graders at Sector 3 Elementary School clapped and cheered.
"Gather round, now," said Hojo. "Come up close so you can see. Today, you are all going to be my assistants!" He paused with a satisfied smirk, waiting for the stampede of children to cluster in the front of the auditorium.
"You all want to be scientists, don't you?"
They gave a drawn-out, mostly simultaneous shout of "Yeees!"
"You want to be experimental scientists and play with fun stuff that turns pretty colors and smokes and sparkles, don't you?"
"Yeees!"
"You want to be scientists NO MATTER WHAT, don't you?"
"Yees!"
Hojo narrowed his eyes, searching through the crowd until he spotted the little boy in the back. "Hey, you there-with the Gold Saucer shirt on. Yes, you. You don't sound very enthusiastic."
The boy shrugged.
"I'm going to send you to the back room with my assistant, Dr. Muxler, and let you do something else, all right? I promise it will be interesting." Hojo turned to the crowd. "I'm splitting you up into two groups. Anyone else want to go?"
Several children raised their hands.
"Okay, you five go back with him. The rest of you, come over here." He led them up the stairs onstage to a giant steaming vat of bluish-green, bubbling liquid.
"This is liquid mako. Have any of you ever seen liquid mako before? No? Okay, here's what we're going to do." He gestured to a folding table covered in a sterile white cloth, and piled with syringes. "Everyone take a doctor's needle."
The children did so.
"I want you to dip your syringes into the vat and fill them with mako. You there, little girl in the back, why are you shaking your head? …The Planet's telling you not to? Well, well! We would never want you to do anything against your religion. Please go in the back with the other group. You won't have to do anything the Planet doesn't like, I promise."
He addressed the other students, who swarmed to the vat to fill their syringes with dripping green goo. "Now, the first important lesson is to always be willing to try new things yourself. If it's good for the subject, it's probably good for you, see? Roll up your sleeves and find the veins in your left arm. If you can't do it, raise your hand and I'll help you out. See those two big veins on your inside elbow?"
He made the rounds of the children, helping each one find the appropriate spot. "There. Now slide the needle in sideways-You, with the Gongaga shirt on, why are you crying? Do you want to go join the other group? Anyone else? Okay. Now everyone else has their needles in? I know it's hard, but real scientists have to learn to do this. Now push down on the plastic plunger until the mako is all gone out of the back. Raise both arms if you need help. When you're done, you can take out the needle."
Several of the children were already beginning to look tired. Hojo paced across the sloppy rows of children and assisted them with their first self- administered injections. By the time he reached the back, some of them had curled up on the floor and fallen asleep. "Just give me your syringes when you're done… yes, or you can put them in that disposal bin… Very good. You're a good little assistant."
Hojo surveyed the stage full of unconscious children, some of who had fallen asleep on top of each other. "Oh, how precious. You're all promising little scientists, you are."
He stepped over the fallen bodies, making a mental note to return with some packaged cloth to wipe their sticky hands, and disappeared behind the curtain into the back room, to see to the new specimens.
The first-graders at Sector 3 Elementary School clapped and cheered.
"Gather round, now," said Hojo. "Come up close so you can see. Today, you are all going to be my assistants!" He paused with a satisfied smirk, waiting for the stampede of children to cluster in the front of the auditorium.
"You all want to be scientists, don't you?"
They gave a drawn-out, mostly simultaneous shout of "Yeees!"
"You want to be experimental scientists and play with fun stuff that turns pretty colors and smokes and sparkles, don't you?"
"Yeees!"
"You want to be scientists NO MATTER WHAT, don't you?"
"Yees!"
Hojo narrowed his eyes, searching through the crowd until he spotted the little boy in the back. "Hey, you there-with the Gold Saucer shirt on. Yes, you. You don't sound very enthusiastic."
The boy shrugged.
"I'm going to send you to the back room with my assistant, Dr. Muxler, and let you do something else, all right? I promise it will be interesting." Hojo turned to the crowd. "I'm splitting you up into two groups. Anyone else want to go?"
Several children raised their hands.
"Okay, you five go back with him. The rest of you, come over here." He led them up the stairs onstage to a giant steaming vat of bluish-green, bubbling liquid.
"This is liquid mako. Have any of you ever seen liquid mako before? No? Okay, here's what we're going to do." He gestured to a folding table covered in a sterile white cloth, and piled with syringes. "Everyone take a doctor's needle."
The children did so.
"I want you to dip your syringes into the vat and fill them with mako. You there, little girl in the back, why are you shaking your head? …The Planet's telling you not to? Well, well! We would never want you to do anything against your religion. Please go in the back with the other group. You won't have to do anything the Planet doesn't like, I promise."
He addressed the other students, who swarmed to the vat to fill their syringes with dripping green goo. "Now, the first important lesson is to always be willing to try new things yourself. If it's good for the subject, it's probably good for you, see? Roll up your sleeves and find the veins in your left arm. If you can't do it, raise your hand and I'll help you out. See those two big veins on your inside elbow?"
He made the rounds of the children, helping each one find the appropriate spot. "There. Now slide the needle in sideways-You, with the Gongaga shirt on, why are you crying? Do you want to go join the other group? Anyone else? Okay. Now everyone else has their needles in? I know it's hard, but real scientists have to learn to do this. Now push down on the plastic plunger until the mako is all gone out of the back. Raise both arms if you need help. When you're done, you can take out the needle."
Several of the children were already beginning to look tired. Hojo paced across the sloppy rows of children and assisted them with their first self- administered injections. By the time he reached the back, some of them had curled up on the floor and fallen asleep. "Just give me your syringes when you're done… yes, or you can put them in that disposal bin… Very good. You're a good little assistant."
Hojo surveyed the stage full of unconscious children, some of who had fallen asleep on top of each other. "Oh, how precious. You're all promising little scientists, you are."
He stepped over the fallen bodies, making a mental note to return with some packaged cloth to wipe their sticky hands, and disappeared behind the curtain into the back room, to see to the new specimens.