Hey it's me again.

Yea I know I got an unfinished fanfic that I haven't update for almost a year. I think...

Well, putting thy aside, here's another fanfic from me, but lemme warn you guys that I have bad grammar.

If you guys haven't listen to Ayano No Koufuku Riron or in english Ayano's Theory Of Happiness, I suggest you do so you'll understand this fic. Theres an english sub and psst -there's a lot of english dub cover and they're really good so I suggest you to listen to them too. (Juby, Rachie and Abimak56)

Contains angsty stuffs and if you've heard the song you'll probably know the outcome of this story.

Warning: Bad grammar, angst, probably some swearing, oocness and more.

I'm sorry.

CHAPTER 1

It was so close, so damn close and yet it was their loss. The moment when the ball touched their side of the court, his heart lost its beat, his system stopped functioning. If it wasn't for the desperate need of oxygen, he wouldn't even realize the breathe he stopped. The regulars on the court were down on their knees, body limped as if their soul were sucked out of their vessel. Either it was from the fatigue or the frustration, it was a heartbreaking scene. Like how warriors had fallen in the battle field. The referee blew his whistle, indicating the end of the long-going match and the victory of their rival. He could see how the first years' eyes widen in mortification, and oh God -the look on Daichi's face. The look alone was enough to make him scream in agony, cry the tears of what a 17 years old teenage boy should be ashamed of. But he needed to be strong; he wanted to. For his team.

"Come on, on your legs. We need to line up. "Suga spoked in a soft and calm voice. His voice however betrayed him as he wavered and sounded deeper than usual, trying hard to swallow back the tears. They were thankfully obedient as they picked themselves up from the cold floor and sluggishly limped their ways to line up in front of the opposite team. They shook hands, thank the audiences and tidied their belongings. They no longer deserved a place for the next match.

The crowds cheered, few shouted 'good game!' and all but none of those went through them. Everything was like a murmur, those aggravating noises that made something akin to anger boiled inside him. He had forgotten how he hated to be told how it was a good game. They had lost and that's that. No point of sugar-coating their failure.

Before they even reached the exit, the referee started to announce the next match, few staffs started to clean the court. Sugawara hated that -how can the world move on as if nothing happened?

The walk to the bus was excruciatingly long, he wanted to get there fast; he just couldn't stand the crowds. He couldn't look up, the people around them were starringas if in mockery. And when he looked around he realized the missing pair; Hinata and Kageyama.

Yeah, of course. Those two dunderheads were probably taking the whole situation worse than him since they ve tried their hardest, compared to him. Their will to win was too strong, so strong that made him cower in their shadows.

The two really took their time and when they finally showed up, there were grasses everywhere -stuck between their disheveled hair. Later he overheard Takeda-sensei's conversation with the coach, regarding the brawl between the pair. Well, it wasn't anything unusual but he knew it was different this time. But he was glad Sensei's charm worked just fine, his words must had mollified those two. He knew Kageyama and Hinata wouldn't take their lost gracefully. He knew and yet there was nothing he could do.

He let out a shaky breath, sucking air deeply to bury the urge to cry. It was a painful day, and he would need to be stronger for tomorrow. He let his mind roamed around thinking about minor things before he drifted into a dreamless sleep, a single tear silently roll down his cheek without anyone noticing.

Two week passed, and he noticed that the world didn't really evolved around him. Although mostly had moved on, there were few who didn't. The second years recovered rather quickly, though Sugawara knew better that it wasn't something to be relieved at. He knew the second years were probably used to it; the feeling of losing.

The vice-captain bit his lips frustratingly. That wasn't something they should get used to. But he was a coward, cause he too, was feeling the same. It was as if the nature of his body and Sugawara despite himself for that.

As expected, Tsukishima didn't seemed to be affected by anything, probably because he did not had any attachment to begin with. He was jealous of the tall junior; how did he manage to keep his head cool? And at the same time, he resent that behavior. He wished Tsukishima would be more committed, more bothered by the fact that they could've win. Just a little bit more and they were finally able to move forward, to retain the name that they once had lost.

Yamaguchi, on the other hand, was battered. He felt bad for the poor boy, they'd put a heavy burden on him. It was laughable, really... To think they had forced him to serve in a situation that placed the fate of his team in his hand and not to mention in his first official game, they were just too cruel. Sugawara wouldn't be surprised if Yamaguchi become traumatized and decided to quit though he silently prayed the freckled boy was stroger than that. He couldn't afford to lose more than what he had now.

And...

Kageyama and Hinata. In two weeks period they'd managed to recover but sometimes he could sense the tension in the air and it affected the team little by little. He sigh, trying to think of the best way to lift the mood. Asahi had been asking him if he was alright and truth to be told, he was getting tired of the same question. At times he would avoid the big ass baby and somehow he managed to get away. Daichi had countlessly told him to take it easy -even though the captain himself wouldn't do so- and still he just couldn't relax.

[[Hinata POV]]

Hinata Shouyo was a bright person, and most would say black doesn't suit him well. But these past few weeks his days were like a blotches of black paint, dying his world mad black.

The trauma was strong enough to induce his sleep with nightmare and give him flashbacks. You know like a moment when you're not doing anything then some super embarrasing thing you did back in the past flashed in front of your eyes? Yeah, it was like that except for the fact that it reminded him with nothing but pain and wrath. He could still remember how his whole system digest the situation the moment the ball touched the floor. His legs went jelly, he felt like a newborn Bambi -except the fact he didn't really feel like he was born, more like dying- and his chest hurt as he tried to take small breath.

He was tired but now he was more than that. He was tired and sad. So sad he could feel tears bubbling in his eyes.

He balled his uniform in his fist, his fingers turned white and enjoyed the growing numbness. It was his fault anyway so he shouldn't drag his team with his sorry emotional state. For now, the only thing he can do is move on, even though it hurts.

[[Kageyama POV]]

If someone had to say it, black would fit him well. Either his black jet hair or his dark tarnished heart, he disliked it. Hate is a strong word and he prefer not to use it -cos he'd be hating himself.

Kageyama wasn't like Oikawa, they were what one would call a paradox. He couldn't handle people like that man do and he didn't plan to do so. But he admired Oikawa's skill, it was something he could never have. He wasn't socially active to begin with. Volleyball was the only thing that matter -until he realized you can't play without a team.

He loved this family game and he prayed that they could keep it this way forever.

Thanks for reading guys. I'd really appreciate it if you review this based on your personal opinion. Hate is welcome too, if that's what makes you feel better.