OOH! This is my first Kyo Kara Maoh fic. I absolutely love this anime/manga/novel... I don't even know which one is the original, though. ^^ Go me.

Disclaimer: I do not own. Nor did I create the original master piece. This plot, however, is mine. Along with the leeches. So, r & r. Read and Recycle. Because recycling is good for the Earth.

The mountains seemed to carry on forever, stretching out like a very lame metaphor for achievement; 'Look what you can do if you only believe' or something as equally stupid The Mountains (because mountains are awesome and they deserve a big M), while continuing to drag on and on and on, reminded him of the ocean, Gunter's lessons, Anissina's ongoing inventions, and Wolfram's possessiveness. Yuuri could feel his eyes falling out of his sockets. "The…that…guh…wha…" Under everyone's (and everyone being Gwendal, Gunter, Conrad and Wolfram) intense looks, the 27th Maoh, the King, the best Maoh ever (as voted by Shin Makoku's populace), and the most articulate (as voted by Yuuri himself), stated with a very diplomatic, kinglike, and political statement:

"The poor trees!"

Way to go, King Yuuri.

"I was gone one week. One week! How did all of this happen in one week?"

Gwendal sighed irritably. "Just because the king takes off doesn't mean the kingdom takes a break. All of this paper work, if you had stayed, would have been prevented."

Yuuri glared at him, the turned his eyes back to the mountains of paperwork. "You do remember that I have family down on my other world?"

Wolfram opened his mouth. "And you have family here too, plus an entire country. Is that not good enough?"

Yuuri looked to his godfather for help, hoping he would get someone on his side. Conrad usually never fai-

"They are right, you know."

-usually. Usually Conrad was reliable.

Gunter joined in. "You also have many lessons that you have to catch up with, Your Majesty."

Yuuri, who had taken his seat at the desk and was holding a quill in his hands to begin his work, let his eyes become bigger. "Can…can that wait?"

The silence that followed sent a message that he should have not said that. Wolfram glared at him, and Yuuri could feel the fire radiating off his fiancé. "So our history and customs are not important enough for the Maoh to learn, huh?"

Oh, damn.

Said Maoh waved his hands frantically in front of his face. "No! No, I didn't mean that! I-"

"Let's leave his Majesty to his work, shall we?" And the Not-So-Reliable Conrad, who seemed to be trying to make up for his earlier failure at taking his godson's side, ushered them out of the room, leaving 'his Majesty' with a dripping quill, mountains of paperwork, and a very confused mind. The tree-killers smirked at him gleefully.

"What are you laughing at?" Yuuri hissed at them, but sadly the tree-killers, being inanimate objects, couldn't respond. Sighing, Yuuri sat down at his desk, glanced at the paperwork (aka tree-killers) before him, and signed it.

One down, ten million to go.

-

"So, what evil thing shall we do to him?"

"Let's let the Inventor deal with him next."

"He shall not survive!"

"Also, we should let the three Gossips run into him too…"

"And the Teacher."

"We are so evil."

"Woot."

"Woot?"

"It's an Earth saying…"

"Yeah… Don't ever say that again…"

"…okay…"

-

He could see his destination before him; a beautiful flower patch and lake right ahead. Oh, sweet bliss! He could feel the cool water running over his tired, aching feet, relaxing him.

"Yuuri…"

What a lovely voice. Who did it belong to?

"Yuuri."

It really was lovely. He turned, searching for the owner.

"Oi! Wimp!"

And he spotted Wolfram in the distance. Oh, his love!

…wait. Wolfram?

Yuuri was suddenly jolted awake when he felt ice cold water thrown on his head. "Gya!" His head shot up and he gasped air. "I was NOT asleep! I was totally doing my homework!" And then he locked eyes with Wolfram.

Wolfram, who was holding an empty glass in his hand. Yuuri eyed the glass distastefully. So you're the enemy…

"What did you do that for, Wolfram?"

Wolfram sat the cup down on the desk. "Hmph! Only a wimp would be scared of water. I need you to watch Greta. I can no longer take care of her today; a small problem has occurred in one of the villages in one of the neighboring villages on the outskirts of town, and I, being a dutiful warrior, am taking my guard and going to solve it."

Yuuri blinked tiredly. "You could have just said that you had a job to do. You didn't need to make it dramatic."

Wolfram growled. "You have no taste for drama!"

Yuuri rubbed his eyes. "Can Gwendal watch her?"

"Big Brother is busy."

"Conrad?"

"Conrart is training soldiers."

"Anissina is…I don't exactly know what she is doing in there, and I don't want to find out."

Greta suddenly appeared from behind Wolfram. "Yuuri doesn't want me?"

Yuuri stared at his daughter. Aw! How could he ignore her? "Okay, you can stay with me for a wh-"

"Good. I'll be back in a little bit, Greta. It shouldn't be too hard. It's only one thief stealing bread." And Wolfram was gone from the room faster than Yuuri's mom was when she saw a cute dress in the mall.

"So, Greta. I still have a bunch of paperwork to do but-" He began but a book was suddenly shoved under his nose. "Huh?"

"Read to me?"

Yuuri smiled. "I'd love to Greta; it's just that I need to finish this paperwork. Can you be patient for a bit?"

Greta lowered the book, and when she did Yuuri could see the tears in her eyes.

Crap.

"Yuuri doesn't love me!"

Uh, oh.

Yuuri hastily dropped the paper he was holding. "No! That's not it, Greta! I just have a lot of work to do and…"

Greta suddenly looked up at him, an evil glint that Yuuri only saw in Anissina's eyes when she was revealing another invention. "Fine! I'll just go find someone else who loves me!" Then she stomped off, leaving a very confused father starring after her.

What was going on today?

-

"Wow…little girls can confuse their parents well…You should learn from her."

"Ew. I will not go down to that level."

"Okay."

"Let the next part begin!"

-

Dinner arrived without a single incident…which meant that things went wrong. Yuuri, trying to find his daughter and apologize (and also skip out on signing papers), ran into the tree maids, who just happened to be on their way to clean up the west wing. Said maids were carrying buckets full of water and soap, along with mops and brooms. Said buckets of water fell on poor (and now wet) Yuuri. Poor, wet, and scared Maoh ran into Anissina while trying to escape from the three furious maids: "And we just cleaned this area too!"

Anissina, however, was not a relief. She had created a new invention, one she called Instant-Concussion-kun, and wanted a test subject (aka victim).

The end result was Yuuri's head hurting really bad and him not being able to walk straight.

Gunter eventually found him, "Your Majesty! We need to start your next lesson: How male mazoku's have and give birth!" Needless to say, Yuuri bolted.

He dashed into the library, hoping to lose his advisor in the many shelves of books. He didn't count of Gunter to go military on him. Gunter dashed out of an isle, screaming "I'll get you eventually!" and made a mad lunge towards the king. Yuuri jumped: he did a very dramatic flip in the air (ha! And Wolf said he didn't have a taste for drama! Eat that, Wolfram!), landed on his feet, slid, and landed hard on a bookshelf. Then he hobbled out of the library as fast as he could.

After all of that and he still couldn't walk straight.

Soon after leaving (aka escaping) Gunter, he ran into a very large closet, hoping to get some peace and quiet. Maybe he should return to his office and do his work…

Nah.

"…and I told Wolfram to just go ahead with the wedding, but he said no. I don't really know why though."

"I mean, he is in love with-"

"Yes, yes. It seems as though His Majesty's 'wimpyness' is rubbing off on him, seeing as he won't even approach the subject of marriage."

Yuuri froze. Wolfram was in love? With who? Some tramp? But Wolf was Yuuri's fiancé! Wolfram couldn't and wouldn't marry any one else other then Yuuri!

…I did not just think that…

Yuuri sighed and tried to calm his heart down. Stepping out of the closet, he made a decision to go and visit Murata. Only, those were his plans. As he stepped out, he locked eyes with Conrad, Gwendal, Anissina, Gunter, and Greta. Conrad gave him the smallest of smiles. "Finally coming out of the closet, Majesty?"

Yuuri, who was about to respond in a very childish manor, was interrupted by a very angry Gwendal. "His Majesty has work to be doing."

Yuuri thought it might be best to oblige.

-

Come dinner time Yuuri was exhausted, and he was a little pissed. Everyone was getting on his bad side. Gwendal had forced Yuuri to finish all of the paperwork before he was even able to go to the bathroom. Conrad was being unreliable again, and gave Yuuri a lecture on 'the importance of paperwork'. It didn't help Yuuri's mood. And now, as he sat down to dinner, he wanted to punch someone. Why was this day so awful? Everyone in the castle seemed out to get him. Had he done something wrong? He was still pondering over the weird day when he was joined Conrad, Gwendal, Gunter, and a sopping wet Greta. "It's pouring out!" She said at her father's curious glance. "Gwendal was also teaching me how to swim."

Yuuri stared at Gwendal, who was determined not to meet his eyes. Gwendal finally stated, "I don't want her to not know how. Besides," and here he snuck a quick glare at Yuuri, "her own parents don't seem to have the time to teach their own daughter basic survival skills."

Said parent who didn't have time to teach his daughter basic survival skills looked appalled. "I'm appalled! It sounded like you were blaming me for Greta's not learning and/or inability to swim!"

Conrad placed his napkin on his lap. "You do leave for your other world quite often."

Yuuri took a deep breath. Conrad. Mr. Unreliable has struck again!

Gunter fixed his spork so that it was straight. "It is true…"

Yuuri released his breath. "And what about Wolfram? Hmm?"

Conrad continued his streak. "He has his duties to perform."

"Guh…" Now Yuuri was just a bit more than just a little pissed.

At that moment the door to the dining room burst open and in pranced on of Wolfram's personal guard. He tried to look presentable before the king, fixing his drenched jacket and pushing his hair out of his face.

He failed miserably. He looked like he was going to pass out. "I…h-have a l-letter…from Sir…Bielefelt."

And he then proceeded to pass out.

Conrad dashed forward and caught the man before he hit the ground. "Gwendal, get the letter."

Gwendal did as was told and looked harshly at the letter. "I can't read it; it's sopping wet. There are only a few words that I can make out: Help…needed…come…south village."

Yuuri felt the blood drain from his face. Wolfram was in trouble! He had to help him! "Conrad! Be useful for once today and get my horse ready. We are all going to help Wolfram."

Ten minutes later they were all saddled and heading for the south village. It really was pouring rain out; Yuuri hated being drenched. This rescue mission better be worth it!

As Greta watched her father gallop away, her attention turned to the letter on the table. Feeling curious she picked up the letter and read it. "…oh dear…"

-

"Wolfram!"

The village was quiet. No one was out in the open, and when Yuuri and Co. entered the village they got a feeling of doom. Doors lay on the ground and swung open, window shutters slapped against the house as the wind pushed them to and fro, and one house lay in complete ruins. Conrad stepped up to Yuuri and took his arm gently. "It looks like we didn't make it in time."

Yuuri took his arm out of the grasp and took a couple of steps forward. "What…what happened here? Wolfram said this would be an easy job."

Gwendal put his hand to his chin. "Bandits, by the look of it. Maybe Wolfram took the villagers to a safer loca-"

"Shut up!"

All heads turned south, towards the center of the village. Yuuri blinked. "That sounded like Wolfram…" And, without warning, he took off in the direction of the voice.

"Your Majesty!" Conrad yelled. "It's not safe!"

Yuuri ignored him. Maybe there was still time Maybe Wolf was oka-

"And so…you say you were not really the bandit, and that you did pay?"

"Yes! I left the money on the counter. Maybe they didn't see it."

"His story is legit. Did you check the counter for the money?"

"…no…"

"Idiots."

Maybe Wolfram…was fine. Wolfram was completely fine. He was currently sitting underneath the protection of many trees with all of the villagers. Yuuri took a few hesitant footsteps forward. "Wolf…?"

Wolfram looked up. "Yuuri… What are you doing here?"

At this time, Conrad and Gwendal chose to appear, swords in their hands. "Wolfram! What is going one here?"

Yuuri was catching on to something. "You didn't need help did you?"

Wolfram scoffed. "Didn't you get my letter? I said I didn't need help, but because the rain was getting bad, I said I was going to stay here tonight. Why?"

Yuuri growled. "So, we ran all the way here…I got hit in the head by a low branch, fell off my horse three times, landed in a pile of mud, ate a mouthful of leaves, and got bit by my horse…for nothing?"

Wolfram nodded. "Uh…yeah."

"Gah! I officially hate this day!" The anger was building up.

Suddenly everyone's faces broke into huge grins; everyone including the villagers. Wolfram gave Conrad a high five. "Looks like we succeeded."

Yuuri blinked. "Come again?"

Conrad turned to face his godson. "Today is national 'Annoy the Maoh' day. The rules are you have to say that today is the worst day of you life, or something along the lines."

Oh yeah, the anger was officially building.

"And so…? Please continue. I am so very curious as to what the other rules are in this 'game'."

Wolfram gave his fiancé a smirk. "No other rules. We just had to come up with scenarios that would annoy you the most. And we succeeded."

Why was Yuuri seeing red? He was definitely seeing red.

"Yuuri…are you okaaah! He's going Maoh!"

And Yuuri was definitely going Maoh. And this other side of his was even more pissed than normal Yuuri.

"National. Annoy. The. Maoh. Day. Huh?"

The people involved in National Annoy the Maoh Day shivered. The Maoh frowned. "So…you made me so pissed that you woke me up. And now you just stand there, trying to look innocent. But you woke me up from a very refreshing nap and I do NOT like to be woken up from refreshing naps if there is no justice to be served. …is there justice to be served?"

National Annoy the Maoh Day peeps cowered together. "No justice?"

Maoh Yuuri took a step forward. "So you woke me up, and now I am here, and you're telling me that I was woken from my nap for NO REASON?! That is not okay! I don't think so! You better find some form of chaos that needs justice served to them or I'll dish out my aggression on you! Normally it is against my policy to take life, but if you fail me, I will not be able to hold back!"

National Annoy the Maoh Day committee bolted, looking for some evil people, and praying to the Great One that the Maoh would calm down.

-

"He remembers what happened, even after he returned to normal."

"No one will tell me what happened with him. Every time I ask they get this far off look in their eyes and the color drains from their faces. Wolfram keeps muttering 'leeches are evil…leeches are evil'. Should we…"

"No…let them work it out with His Majesty. He must have a reason for doing this horrific thing to them."

"I hope so…"

-

"And it is now being announced that National Annoy the Maoh Day is not longer a holiday. Thank you."

-

Yuuri's face held the biggest smirk on his face as sat down on his bed. "Relaxation. Boy do I love it."

Wolfram sat next to him, albeit a bit hesitantly. "Yuuri…I want to apologize for yesterday."

Yuuri smiled. "It's okay." Suddenly his face became serious. "But there is something serious you and I need to discuss."

Wolfram gulped. "Alright…"

Yuuri turned to him and took both of the blond's hands in his. "I heard yesterday that you are in love."

Wolfram turned red. "Yuuri- I..I-"

Yuuri held up one hand, his eyes closed. "Let me finish. Let me say, that as King, you are forbidden to marry anyone else." His eyes snapped open. "Now I now how you feel! I just wish I had come out of Egypt a long time ago! Wolfram, I love you and you are going to marry me! No is not an answer. I will tear you from your lover's embrace if I have to! I will spoil you or do whatever you want me too if it means you will marry me!" Yuuri ended, panting slightly.

Wolfram blinked. And blinked again. And blinked again. Then he suddenly tackled Yuuri to the bed, their lips connected. "You wimp! The person I am in love with is you! My mom has been trying to get me to set the wedding date without your knowing but I couldn't do it, but now I can!" He pulled away, smirking. "You said you would do anything if it means I will marry you, right?"

Yuuri, smiling idiotically from their kiss, nodded. Wolfram's smirk grew. "There is no way in hell I am wearing the dress."

Yuuri lost the smile on his face. "Wha! But…But I…"

"You said anything."

Yuuri smiled and pulled his fiancé down for another kiss. "Fine."

"Your Majesty, we need to start your next lesson; how male mazoku's have and give…"

There was a loud thump and both boys pulled away from each other to see Gunter collapsed on the ground, blood flowing in a steady river from his nose. Wolfram laughed. "I guess we should look at that lesson."

Yuuri agreed and they stood up from the bed, hand in hand, and proceeded to leave the room to inform Wolfram's family of the wedding.

Maybe National Annoy the Maoh Day had brought up some good results after all.

And this is the end! If you review...um...I'll send you good vibes that resemble hugs from Yuuri and Wolfram!

Oh! And don't forget to recycle!

UO